Title: Dinner at the SGC

Author: Rude's Mom

Disclaimer: I own neither BtVS nor Stargate: SG-1

A short response for Challenge 1811- The Portal in Doppelgangland at Twisting the Hellmouth


Willow, favorite childe of the Master, stood on the metal ramp. For all of its rather industrial look, this was not the factory warehouse. It wasn't the Bronze either but there were lots of yummy men in the room. True, they were pointing weapons at her but since they were not of the pointy, wooden variety they would only sting. Besides, she didn't have her game face on. They probably had no idea what she was.

"Uh, hi?"

"Identify yourself?" The question echoed in the large room.

She looked up and tried to determine who had asked the question.

An older, bald man repeated the question. Okay, not all of the men were yummy but she liked the look of the blond woman standing next to him.

"I'm Willow. Where am I?" She let her voice squeak. See, I'm not a threat, I'm helpless.


"It didn't work you know." Anya was disturbingly cheerful as she stood up. "Can I go now?"

"What do you mean it didn't work?" Xander looked at the former demon. "She was here, now she's not. It's all of the good."

"I meant it didn't work properly. She's still not where she's supposed to be but she's not your problem anymore. I'd really like to leave now."

Willow's face turned ashen. "Where is she then?"

"I don't know. Maybe some place that has never seen a vampire before."

"Dear Lord, what have we done," Giles asked.

"We made a mistake and Anya is going to help us fix it," Buffy stated.


She looked around at the carnage in the infirmary, licking blood off her lips. It had been almost too easy. Even without a fuzzy, pink sweater she had fooled them. Most of them were dead. The guards she had killed immediately before feeding on the nurses. She hated having her meal interrupted.

A soft sound came from a crumbled figure in a white jacket.

Willow smiled. She had saved this one for last.

She walked over and grabbed the woman by the arm, roughly pulling the doctor to her feet. Copping a quick feel with her other hand, she then slid it up the cup the doctor's jaw.

"I think I'm going to enjoy you. I bet you know how to cause all kinds of pain."

A strangled sound escaped Dr. Fraiser's throat as Willow tilted her head to the side and began to feed.


General Hammond reentered the control room. He looked out of the observation window at a small blonde woman surrounded by SFs.

"Report Major."

"Sir, another one just came though gate," Carter replied. "The iris didn't work this time either."

The General switched on the microphone, "identify yourself."

"I'm Buffy. I'm looking for a kinda skanky redhead wearing leather. Has she been here?"

"Do you mean Willow?"

"Yep. She kinda took a wrong turn on her way home. If she's around I'll just take her with me."

"I'm afraid we can't allow that without more information." He turned off the microphone. "Major Carter, escort our latest guest to the infirmary and see if you can find out what either of these young ladies are doing here. We'll debrief them at 1800."


"Almost done. Would have been faster but I filled up on your nurses." Willow had placed the doctor on a hospital cart for easier access. "We're going to have so much fun. And without pesky windows we can play all the time. "

Willow rocked back on her heels as she straddled Dr. Fraiser. "You know, in my world we had people in chains and we could ride them like ponies. I think we can have a nice stable here. What do you think? Have any suggestions?"

A single tear trailed down the side Dr. Fraiser's face and into her ear.

"It will all be over soon then you'll be like me. Strong. Powerful. I'll even let you eat the General."

The door to the infirmary swung open.

"What we tell you about killing people?"

"What the..." Major Carter failed to complete here sentence at the girl she was escorting shoved her to the side.

"Slayer," the vampire snarled as she leapt off the doctor.

"Yep. And I brought my stake too."


The General agreed to send Buffy back to wherever the hell, his words, she came from as long as she promised never to send them any other visitors.

Samantha Carter spent the next few hours trying to write a report on the day's events without sounding totally insane.

One girl was a vampire, the other a vampire slayer. The slayer dusted, her word, the vampire. The physics of it escaped the major because vampires were not real and people didn't just explode into dust. The other details were easier to write about. Eight people dead, one critically wounded. Janet was given multiple transfusions and looked like she was going to recover.

Buffy had warned that if the doctor had ingested any of Willow's blood she might become a vampire. The slayer strongly suggested that they keep Janet in restraints until she a) recovered or b) died. She also gave the infirmary staff a quick lesson on the fine art of vampire detection and staking, just in case. The rest of the victims were quickly cremated as a precaution. The scene had been bloody one and no one wanted to take any chances that one of the victims had swallowed any blood.

At 0500, Carter looked over the report she had written. Nope, still sounded insane. She'd try again after a nap.


"So, we're good this time?"

"Yeah Xander," Buffy said while looking at Willow. "Sorry Will, I had to. Let's go home."

Anya and Giles followed them out of the factory and into the night.