Sakura returned to the hideout in a fiery rage, anger was boiling inside of her due to the kiss with the severed head. Just the thought alone made her want to puke! She opened the door with a loud bang and a pair of evil eyes.

The rest of the Akatsuki looked at her in confusion as she glared. She stormed off to her room in a huff.

The next day Hidan who had regained her body and Kakuzu returned from the mission.

"So what happened?" Deidara asked.

"I kissed her." Hidan stated bluntly.

Shivers ran down all the spines of the Akatsuki members because the thought of kissing the pink haired hyperactive freak was just…..

"She hasn't come out of her room in a day." AL said.

"She's completely avoiding you." Zetsu said.

"Because you kissed her." Itachi chimed in.

"So she doesn't want to be around you." AL smirked.

They began passing around the evil grins like candy at a birthday party except Tobi, he had already fallen asleep.

That night Sakura heard a knock at her door.

"If you're S.A.M.-chan…" Sakura's voice growled through the door. "Feed your empty head to rabbit babies! If someone else hi."

"Hi." said Sasori opening the door with a charming smirk. "It's a nice night isn't it?"

Initially his appearance shocked her as he wasn't wearing his scorpion outfit and Sakura was surprised to he had a doll like face but she still stared at him like a bitter old granny. "How would I know? I've been inside the cave! Are the rocks particularily lovely tonight? Aren't the stalactites just beaming with the beauty of the stars thanks to all the falling bugs?"

"Haha." Sasori forced himself to laugh as he covered up the anger mark on his cheek with his hand. "You have just the….best sense of humor."

Sakura smiled. "And you're just creepy aren't you?" She stared at him like a demented chibi.

Sasori appeared in an instant only an inch from her face, his hand behind her neck. "I'll make it simple." He said, "You would make a beautiful puppet." He stroked her face. "Your beauty would be immortalized with me forever."

At that moment Sakura sneezed right on his face. "Oh I'm soooo sorry." She said flatly.

Sasori was angry and completely unattracted to her but he still forced her lips on his anyway. In his anger he held her there for a full minute to cut off her breath and leave her gasping for air as punishment for the sneeze.

Sasori released her and started to walk away.

"Hey…" Sakura called to him sweetly, "Come back here." She walked towards him and put his face in her hands as she lent in towards him….

As she gave him what she believed to be….

The most beautiful…..

And most glorious….


"You broke my crotch!" he screamed at her.

"What?" She asked confused.

"I have the body of a puppet and you completely destroyed my crotch! Now I have to rebuild it. Grumble grumble." He stormed off.

A little while later….

"So where is Sasori?" Al asked.

"Rebuilding his crotch." Hidan answered bluntly.

They all got silent.

"So anyways," Al broke the silence, "Who's next?"


Sakura heard another knock on the door. "If you're S.A.M.-chan or Pinocchio go eat a hive of bees! If anyone else hi."

"Open the door please."

"Oh hi Zetsu!" Sakura chirped up opening the door only to be immediately engulfed in his overgrown lawn exterior. Once trapped in the darkness, he kissed her.

When she was released she stood dazed and stunned.

Then she said, "Wait here."

When she returned she had something behind her back and a sweet smile on her face.

"So wheres Zetsu?"

"Trying to wash off the weed killer before it burns him to death."

"Why are we doing this again?"

"Sacrifices must be made to get her to leave us alone!"

"Itachi use your mangekyo on her."


"Why not?"

"I would have to kiss her….over and over and over and over…." Soon his face turned green.

Yet another knock on Sakura's door.

"Ugh! I don't care who you are I hope that birds eat your eyes out!" She called out.

"I don't mean harm come out please." Kakuzu said.

She groaned. "Fine!" she opened the door. "What do you want Patchy?"

"Are you curious as to what is under my mask?" he asked.

"Yes." She said.

"Then come closer." He said as he began to lower the veil. As she walked towards him he lent his face towards her.

"AWKWARD STARFISH!" she shouted as she planted her hand on his lips. "How stupid do you people think I am?" she asked.

At that moment Kisame swiftly turned her around and planted his lips on hers. "Pretty stupid." He said as he let Kakuzu squash his lips up against hers.

She then broke away and stepped back with the anger coming over her in a demonic aura.

"She tied them together using their limbs? And dear god Kakuzu's can stretch! What have we come to?" Al sighed.

"I'll go give it a shot."

Another fricking knock on the door dear god. "GO THE FUCK AWAY!" Sakura screamed, but he opened the door and closed it behind him anyways.

"Go aw-" She tried to say but Deidara cut her off by putting his hand over her mouth.

"Quiet." He said. "Itachi wanted to come back here I was just trying to help you out." As Deidara spoke the tongue on Deidara's hand was already inserting itself in Sakura's mouth.

"My hands are broken!" Deidara cried. "How will I make my beautiful art now?"

"When did you ever make beautiful art?" Hidan asked.

"Hey you literally lost your head so you can SHUT THE FUCK UP!"


"Sakura…." A voice whined, "Can you do my hair?"

"Sure!" Sakura perked up and opened the door for Itachi.

As she was brushing his hair she conversed with him about how silky he kept his hair but he asserted it was completely natural.

"Sakura…." His voice whined as he turned around to face her. "Do you think I'm pretty?"

The phrase caught her so off guard he kissed her before she finished laughing. Then a wad of hair was pulled from his head.

"So what was Itachi's strategy?" Al asked.

"To act like a girl." Hidan answered.

"Ha ha no really."

"Actually he's pretty good at it."

*Al retreated into his emo corner of embarrassment*

"Sakura please open the door I would like to formally apologize for the behavior of my organization."

Sakura opened the door with a sigh. "It doesn't matter Al. They will suffer…." But then her words faded off as she stared into his eyes. She let out a nervous laugh. "Al I think this is the first time I've actually seen your face outside of the darkness."

"Does it surprise you?" He asked.

"Not really." She said as she reached up to touch his face without realizing what she was doing getting lost in his piercing gaze. "Whats your real name?"

"Pain." He said.

She chuckled. "What a funny name."

He had not heard her as he had already starting leaning down to reach her lips. He kissed her passionately and wrapped his arms around her in an unconscious gesture. Sakura had had time to evade it but for some reason…she didn't.

When he released her from his grasp she disappeared with the slam of a door in an instant. Leaving Al incredibly angry and cursing her through the door.

Later, Tobi entered Sakura's room and found her with her head buried in her pillow grumbling almost inaudibly curse words.

"Sakura..?" He called her name timidly.

"What?" she snapped as she raised her head. "Come here to kiss me too? I mean what the fuck am I a walking harem to you idiots?"

"Um nooo…" He said backing away.

That's when she saw the small cake in his hands.

"Aw Tobi did you bring me a gift?" She asked as all the anger disappeared from her.

"Yes…I did…I felt bad about how everyone else was acting so I brought a cake." He said dropping the cake off at her nightstand as he fidgeted nervously.

Just then all of the other Akatsuki members entered in a fury and pulled him off shouting insults such as "Kiss-ass!" and "Baby!" and "Spiral Face!" as they took him to the meeting room.

Sakura just groaned and went to sleep.

The next day the Akatsuki members woke up to find a sign on Sakura's door reading, "Those without brains are not permitted to enter, that means you EVERYONE"

"But but I was nice." Tobi frowned as the others death glared him.

So they did what they felt they had to.

They threw a victory party. They found a huge cake and wine to toast to their victory. "Ding dong the pink haired witch is gone! The pink haired witch is gone!"

They celebrated happily as they ate without reservation.

"This cake is great!" Hidan said. "Who made this?"

No one answered.

"We just found it." Zetsu said.


Al went over and flipped over the empty cake pan.

It read:

"reLAX guys!"

All the guys looked at each other and then at the only bathroom in the hideout in complete horror.

A/N: Lol omg I'm back! Yep, three years but hey I'm not dead just very busy but I recently found a reason to continue my stories because one fan went out of their way to find me on youtube and asked me to continue on of my other stories so I figured that if people actually cared that much about reading my stories I should feel complimented and oblige them.

Well I hope you guys liked this and please give me feedback.

By the way I make no promises on updates, if this gets really popular again I won't be able to not update it you know? But right now I want to focus on my personal favorite stories: A troublesome trade, Fugutaiten and The Real Genius. But I already have the next chapter planned out so I'll update but in a few weeks when summer comes.

Well anyways