Disclaimer: I do not own Azumanga Daioh
(A.N: Major thanks to SephirothBeatrix for this! Kagura-chan, you've proved that even on the worst of days, writing humour is always possible.)Toast
By Silver Sailor Ganymede
This, Kagura thought, was not how she had wanted to be spending this morning. She had been looking forward to actually getting some sleep for once, but no, two unwanted guests had just had to arrive and demand breakfast of all things. In other words Tomo and Osaka had arrived, and Kagura wanted to kill her two fellow Numbnuts.
"Why are you two here anyway?" Kagura asked as she walked into the kitchen, giving her friends as much of a glare as she could muster while still being half-asleep.
"We always do this to Yomi," Tomo shrugged.
"Which is why she wants to kill you," Kagura grumbled. "Now why are you here?"
"We wanted to have breakfast with our favourite Numbnut friend," Tomo grinned.
"In other words you wanted free food," Kagura grumbled, wandering over to the toaster and shoving in a few slices of bread.
"What's that?" Tomo asked.
"What's what?" Kagura snapped.
"That?" Tomo said, pointing at…
"That would be a toaster, Tomo."
"Ah wanna toaster," Osaka said dreamily, speaking for the first time since they'd arrived.
"You probably have one in your kitchen," Kagura replied as she pulled the toast out of the toaster. "Shit! That's hot!"
"I would have thought it was cold," Tomo rolled her eyes.
"Do you want this toast or not?" Kagura asked and her fellow Numbnut fell silent; the threat of loss of food had worked. Tomo sat down quietly and
Kagura followed suit, putting the food down on the table as she did so. Tomo grabbed a slice of toast and shoved it in her mouth, then pulled a face almost as soon as she'd done so.
"Blergh, that doesn't taste like normal toast!"
"How do you know what 'normal toast' is like if you didn't know what a toaster was?" Kagura asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Because!" was the only reply she got. "Anyways what is this stuff? Carbonated tofu?"
"I don't even want to know where you thought that one up," Kagura shook her head in exasperation. "And no, it's French bread."
"Huh?" Tomo blinked.
"I thought this was toast."
"Shut up," Kagura snapped, totally unimpressed.
"Yanno French toast?" Osaka said, her gaze misting over again as she munched absentmindedly on a piece of toast.
"Why do I not like where this is headed..." Kagura groaned, hoping against hope that Osaka wasn't about to share another half-brained Osaka theory with the world.
"Well why is it called French toast? Ah mean is it made of French people?"
"Did you really just say that?"
"And if French toast is made of French peeps, then whaddabout Germahn toast, and Italiahn toast?"
"What about Osaka just shut up and eat your goddamn toast!" Kagura hissed, losing her temper; it was too early for this; she should still have been asleep!
"I thought that was a lemon..." Tomo said with her mouthful of toast, her tone even more confused than normal.
"Tomo, don't even start, not this early in the morning."
"When life gives you lemons, make orange juice!" Tomo laughed, taking a swig of the orange juice that was on Kagura's table.
"How exactly do you plan to do that?"
"Because I am Tomo the great!" Tomo proclaimed.
"You're going to be Tomo the dead in a moment if you don't shut up."
"Cool! I wanna be a vambie!"
"Shut up and eat your bloody toast!" Kagura yelled.
"I like toast… is French toast really made of French people then?"
"Are you really that thick?" Kagura asked, then upon catching sight of the time she leapt to her feet. "Oh shit, we're gonna be so late!"
"You wanna go to school that badly?" Tomo frowned.
"What?" this time it was Kagura's turn to be confused.
"Ah like toast.