Weapons of Old and New

Or, Not Another Super Naruto Story

(Really. It's Not.)

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: Oh, yeah. I SO own Naruto. That's why I have to bust my ass working at minimum wage to pay for college. Psh. Sure.

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"Yeah. Ow," The gray-haired man echoed, leaning on his cane as he looked down at the groaning, blond-haired youth. The lad's loud orange jumpsuit seemed to have a neon glow, even in the half-moon light overhead. The old man sighed heavily.

"I told you, kid. I told you, and you didn't listen." The old man shook his head with a wry smile on his face. The boy below snarled irritably.

"If I had used Rasengan you'd be dead right now!" The old man rolled his eyes and turned away.

"Good grief, are all shinobi your age like this? Apply more power, and you'll win?" The old man sighed. "If you'd used Rasengan you'd be dead. Feel your arm?" The boy looked down his body and groaned. His right fist, which the old man had caught in the lad's lunge punch, was shoved right into his chest. The old man hadn't seemed to move, nor apply much force at all. Yet here the boy lie, his body aching and his arm feeling dislocated.

"How'd you…?"

"Experience. Training. A little luck," the man admitted. The blond grimaced.

"I… I have to get stronger. I have to bring back Sasuke," he muttered. The old man smiled crookedly.

"Ahhh… Thought I recognized you. You're that Uzamaki kid, right?" Naruto Uzamaki looked up at the older man and frowned.

"Eh? How'd you-?"

"Observation, kid. The whisker marks, blonde hair, orange jumpsuit, and Rasengan. You're too recognizable," the man went on. "Not the best trait for a shinobi to have."

"Eh? I dress like this because I'm me!" Naruto snarled. The old man nodded.

"Admirable on a personal level, kid, but when it comes to The Game, it's a handicap. You've fought plenty of enemies, kid, and come out on top. Trouble is… There was a better way to go about it." Naruto glared back.

"I don't worry about how I did back then! I got through, isn't that enough?" The man chuckled.

"Thing is, kid, you did win. But you didn't learn from your mistakes and do better the next time. You were able to overpower your foes when you won, but what happens when you come up against someone more powerful? Someone bigger and stronger? What then?" Naruto glared defiantly at the older man.

"I won against plenty of opponents much stronger than me!"

"No, otherwise you wouldn't have won," the man corrected. He shook his head.

"Strength ain't a problem for you, kid. Fighting, however, is." Naruto growled, though less violently than before. It wasn't easy for him to admit when someone else was right, but in this he knew the old man had a point. Looking back over his previous battles, it had mostly been his strength that had got him through. But still! How could some old man know about all that?

The same old man who's got you lying, stunned, on the hard ground without him even breaking a sweat.

"… What's your game, old man? Humiliate me?" Naruto posed with a glare. The old man shook his head.

"From what I've heard, you've got that covered, kid. No, I just wanted to see you put your money where your mouth is. I don't presume to be stronger than you, or better." The old man looked up at the star-filled sky in contemplation.

"Thing is though, fighting strength with strength only works if you're stronger than your enemy. If you can control your enemy's strength, use it against him, then it doesn't matter how strong you are." The man smirked. "In fact, the stronger he is, the easier your job is, if you know how to make his strength a weakness." Naruto frowned, taking it in.

"… Who are you, old man?" The aged man turned around, looking a bit contemplative.

"Truth be told kid, I tell you everything about me; I'll have to kill you. Most things I've done have been classified, S-rank secret." He smiled darkly, and stretched out a hand, which Naruto cautiously took as he pulled him up to his feet.

"Andoryuu Tusume. Jounin first class, ANBU squad six. Retired." Naruto gaped.

"Squad Six?" Andoryuu groaned.

"Goddamnit kid, now I have to kill you! Just forget you heard that next-to-last bit." Naruto blinked… Before a smirk came over his face.

"Allright… I'll keep your secret… If you train me." Tusume frowned.

"Kid, I look like a Sannin to you?" Naruto sighed.

"Ero-sennin left me to do some research in this town while he's out book signing. And peeping," Naruto noted in disgust. He looked at the aged man and clasped his hands together pleadingly.

"Please, Andoryuu-sensei? Train me? Ero-sennin just wanted me to sit around and study in some stupid library!"

"He's been around a pretty long time."

"How long have you been around?" Tusume raised an eyebrow. Naruto glared at him.

"I've been around long enough to know that you should listen to your sensei when he tells you to do something." Naruto groaned.

"Oh c'mon! I'm asking you! Train me, please!" Andoryuu sighed and shook his head.

"What makes you think I've got anything better than a legendary Sannin?"

"Look… I've got nothing better to do!" Naruto whined. Tusume laughed.

"Oh yes, I really want to train you now…"

"Just… Just give me a month! One month, I'll do whatever you want!" Tusume sighed, closing his eyes before opening them again and giving Naruto a formidable glare. The boy didn't back down, glaring right back. Tusume kept up his imposing gaze… Before sighing.

"You're either brave or have no idea what you're getting into." Naruto shrugged with a foxy smirk.

"Never stopped me before," the blond confessed gamely. Tusume chuckled a bit at that.

"Well then, kid… Looks like you're coming home with me." He held both hands on his cane and gave the genin his most formidable deathglare, the kind that used to have his subordinates shaking in their boots.

"Here's the deal, kid: You follow my orders, no questions asked. If I tell you to do something, do it immediately. If I tell you to jump, you ask how high. Understood?" Naruto nodded eagerly, grinning cockily. Tusume smirked.

"We'll see how long that lasts, then. C'mon…"

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Tusume, Naruto reflected, had been completely right. He hadn't had any idea of what he was getting into.

"Okay… FIRST, you had me go through this goddamned, constantly randomizing training course blindfolded." Tusume, sitting on a stump in the wooded clearing near his small home in the outskirts of the town nodded.

"It's set to non-lethal mode, and you can't always rely on your eyes." Tusume indicated his left eye, which Naruto had learned (in a rather creepy incident) was glass. "Your enemies are going to use illusions, weapons, and genjutsu to distract and hamper your senses."

"Next, you had me go through it all over again, with earmuffs!"

"Improved your balance and situational awareness," Tusume dismissed easily. Naruto ground his teeth audibly.

"NOW YOU WANT ME TO GO THROUGH IT AGAIN WITH BLINDFOLD AND EARMUFFS!" The genin roared. Tusume sighed, before moving his hand in a deceptively subtle motion. Naruto cried out, gritting his teeth at sudden pain in his hand. He looked down and saw that a shuriken was sticking out of the agonized limb. Naruto seethed.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" Tusume sighed, before standing up and walking over away to the far end of the field. Naruto glared.


"Hit me," Tusume said, calmly but loudly enough for Naruto to hear. Naruto gawked.


"Hit me with the shuriken," Tusume spoke again, still not turning. Naruto, more than eager to get some payback, yanked the star out of his hand and threw it as hard as he could.

The shuriken flew out, spinning at full speed, and almost made contact with Andoryuu's head. At the last possible second, the old man reached behind him as though trying to shoo away a fly from the back of his head… And caught the shuriken. Naruto's jaw hit the ground as Tusume calmly walked back to the stump. He tossed the shuriken back to Naruto, before sitting down and fixing Naruto with an even look.

"Kid, I don't do this to torture you. I don't do this to aggravate you. I do this because right now, you can evade six genin. I can teach you to evade six hundred." Tusume leaned on his cane, gazing directly into Naruto's wide blue eyes.

"You know how to overwhelm your enemy with a thousand clones-I can teach you how to overwhelm them with two. You can hide yourself-I can teach you how to become invisible." Naruto gaped. The tone of this old man seemed to indicate something far more serious was being taught to him. The blonde genin had been told that his duty as a shinobi was important and serious, knew it on a basic level, but there was something vitally different about that, and what the old man was letting him glimpse right now.

"You've got determination, kid. You've got courage and heart. The trouble is, you can't beat your head against every problem until it goes away." The retired shinobi tapped on the side of his temple.

"You need this just as much as you need," and here Tusume tapped his chest, "this."

"… Just how can you teach me how to do all that?" Naruto asked quietly, for once. Tusume smiled slightly.

"The first exercise was to expand your awareness through touch, hearing, smell, taste and chakra. Second exercise forced you to do the same thing, only along with improving your balance, since you maintain balance with your ears. This exercise forces you to use the lessons you learned from the last two exercises at the same time."

"Er, yeah, I get that, but how does this help me do… All that stuff you said? Evade six hundred guys and all," Naruto asked. Tusume smiled genuinely.

"Finally you ask the right questions. Well, you improve your situational awareness this way, you can't be surprised. You'll be able to know everything about the people moving around near you by how they sound, look, smell, and the chakra they're putting out," Tusume explained. "They can throw smoke bombs, but you'll still be able to hear and chakra sense them. Even if they use genjutsu, you can fight through it, because they can't deceive all your senses at once. Touch will let you tell when something is headed your way by changes in air pressure, temperature or other factors, which can also let you determine what kind of attack is coming." Naruto frowned.

"So, the improving your balance thing also lets you evade attacks a whole lot more easily, because you don't lose your orientation as easily?" Tusume nodded.

"Yup; See, the basics of any martial arts fighting style are balance, awareness, and force. You know how to manage those, it makes things a hell of a lot easier. That's what this training is supposed to do for you." Naruto frowned, before standing up and pulling on the blindfold once more. With a smile, he pulled on the earmuffs as well, before heading back to the start of the training course. Tusume turned the course back on with a pulled rope, and sat back with a small smile.

Guess I'm not too old yet to feel some pride in a student…

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Naruto had never felt anything like it. He could hear Tusume's heartbeat just by focusing. He could tell where every bird was within fifty feet just by their song alone. Looking over his Rasengan and Kage Bunshin no Jutsu through his much stronger chakra senses let him manipulate and focus them in ways he'd never conceived of before. He now had enough focus to create five Rasengans between ten clones all at the same time.

By the end of the third week of training, Naruto could catch and deflect over a dozen kunai and shuriken thrown at him a second. By the end of the fourth, he could deflect twice that at the same rate.

"Damn but if you haven't passed every expectation I ever had," Tusume told him, after yet another training session left Naruto exhausted but triumphant. The blonde genin grinned before downing a bottle of cool water.

"So, how long did it take you to get this far?" Tusume smirked.

"Hell, I was the one who had to put all this together in the first place. With my father, actually." Naruto frowned.

"Father?" Tusume nodded.

"Well, back in the days of the Second Hokage, my father was an engineer. He'd applied to become a ninja at the academy but, well… He'd been born crippled, had to get around with a cane. Also, he didn't have a bloodline limit. Any kind of bloodline, as a matter of fact, so he studied mathematics and architecture." Naruto frowned.

"Why would that matter?"

"Back then, there were a whole lot more families with bloodline limits than today. The Hokages understandably preferred to recruit from those families, for which they were richly rewarded. Its how the first shinobi aristocracies came to be centuries ago," Naruto grimaced, as Tusume chuckled darkly.

"It was still pretty bad when I got old enough to apply to the Konoha academy. My father, however, knew math and physics. Moreover, he knew how structures, from buildings to people, worked and held together. So, he and I built the training course based on improving that which we already had. Hearing, balance, chakra senses. We developed counters to chakra-based attacks by observing them, and studied how various people fought and moved in relation to how they fought." Naruto frowned.

"Kind of like Lee-He can't use chakra, so he relies on taijutsu advanced as far as possible to make up for it." Tusume nodded with a grin.

"In a manner of speaking. My father practically wrote the book on ANBU intelligence gathering and hand-to-hand fighting. He was made a civilian overseer of the program. However, when villains like Orichamaru and Akatsuki began showing up, they shifted the doctrine over to a less difficult training system to get more troops," Tusume snorted at this. "Considering that every ANBU who was trained in our system has lived long enough to retire, I'd say that their concept that numbers can overcome super-powerful enemies isn't working out too well." Naruto's frown deepened.

"So, how come you guys haven't taken them out?" Tusume laughed bitterly.

"One, we're too old. Two… Nope, that's about all there is to it. Catching kunai is one thing, fighting powerful psychos like that is another," Naruto frowned, but he had to admit the old man had a point. His chakra reserves were certainly nothing to brag about, seen through Naruto's improved senses. Tusume had taught the genin how to tell when someone was hiding their true chakra strength, and unless the old man had left something out…

"I have brains, no doubt. We were all trained to develop those or we would be dead," Tusume went on. "But I just don't have the endurance I once had. You need both strength and intelligence to survive as a shinobi." The blond sighed.

"Why did you retire, Old Man? Why didn't you keep going through the ranks? Take a desk assignment and run stuff like that?" Tusume snorted and sighed, looking over his cane once more.

"The Third… I do not question his courage. I would never do that. But… I questioned his decision to refill the ranks of the ANBU without having the candidates go through the training my father worked so hard to institute. Certain council members felt that my protests were… Overzealous." Naruto blinked.

"How overzealous?" Tusume grinned.

"I painted graffiti on the faces of the Hokages… Among other offenses. They summarily had me retire." Naruto gawked at him, then slowly grinned.

"Hey! I did the same thing too!" Tusume chuckled.

"Not bad, Uzumaki. Not bad at all… Old farts need some shaking up every now and then."

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The fifth week was when they began training in Tusume's personal taijutsu style. It relied heavily on using an enemy's momentum against them, the force of an opponent's blows being redirected to send them crashing to the ground, breaking their limbs, even turning their chakra-based attacks into the vital areas of their bodies. Offensively, it worked on closing within an enemy's defenses, preventing them from using their arms or legs to land effective hits. However, when Naruto tried using what he'd learned against Tusume, he ended up on his back in a move he'd never seen before.

"Kid," Tusume had begun. "Never let yourself be limited to one fighting style. This was one I use against enemies with much greater strength than me. You must fight every enemy differently every time, never allowing them to adapt and find the holes in your defenses. Combining different styles together can also help keep your enemies off guard. Ultimately, you cannot be predictable." Naruto grinned despite his pain.

"Now that, I can do." Tusume nodded, helping the blond up again once more. He reached into a satchel he'd begun to carry around, and drew a strange, black device. The old man held it out to Naruto. The blond took it, puzzled.

"What's this, Old Man?"

"Something my father tinkered with for a while… A successor to shuriken and kunai." Naruto frowned, looking in the hole at one end of the device. Tusume carefully pushed it away from the genin's face.

"First things first-Never hold it up to your face." Naruto shook his head.

"How is this better than a kunai or shuriken? It's not even sharp!" Tusume laughed, taking back the weapon and pointing it at a tree branch. He pulled a trigger on the device, and a loud boom filled the air as the branch literally exploded.

"Woah!" Naruto gasped, uncovering his ears. Tusume grinned.

"This weapon uses small metal projectiles," the old man began, holding out the device and unclipping a component of it, letting a small tray in the handle slide out filled with small shiny tubes. "These projectiles are filled with a careful mix of compounds that, when exposed to a spark generated by the flint and steel in the device, are propelled out and through the tube by the resulting explosion at a very, very high velocity."

"How high?"

"Try about fifteen times faster than the fastest thrown kunai," Tusume stated simply. Naruto whistled. "At that speed, within about five hundred feet nobody can dodge even a single shot. And I mean nobody." Tusume handed the weapon back, allowing Naruto to look it over.

"Uh… Isn't it, you know… Kind of unfair?" Tusume frowned. The blond shrugged.

"I mean… I can't exactly use this in a tournament, or sparring," Naruto expanded. Tusume nodded.

"That's because this isn't a weapon that can be deflected. At least not by anything a person can do. I've found that you can blunt the rounds with armor, or evade them if you're far enough away… But make no mistake; this is a weapon of war. It kills your enemies. In war, there is no such thing as an unfair advantage." Naruto looked down at the weapon, feeling its weight. Naruto was not one for deep thinking often, but even he could appreciate the significance of this weapon.

"This is… This could change wars forever, couldn't it?" Tusume nodded.

"Just one reason I've kept it secret. If Orichiamaru got his hands on this technology, he'd have more than enough of an advantage to wipe out Konoha." Tusume gave Naruto a piercing look.

"You cannot let this technology fall into his hands. Or anyone else's hands." The demon container gaped.

"You… You're… Giving me this?" Tusume nodded.

"Don't make me regret it. Now then, first things first. You hold it here and sight along the top of the weapon…"

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The sixth week was when Tusume finally agreed to teach Naruto a jutsu. The blond whooped loudly, jumping up and down like a little kid, as Tusume rolled his eyes but still managed a smile.

"Allright, new technique! New technique!" Naruto then paused, and blinked.

"Er, Old Man, I thought you didn't like jutsus. OW!" Naruto rubbed his head and glared at Tusume, who had his cane back holding him up like nothing had happened. He smirked.

"Know how I did that?" Naruto frowned. He could feel chakra emanating from Tusume's body, but what it was doing…

"Er… Not really," Naruto confessed, shrugging. Tusume shook his head with a sigh.

"C'mon, boy! What was all that sensory enhancement training for, hm? Work it out." Naruto hummed, and looked thoughtful.

"Well… Air pressure is usually the best indicator of an approaching physical attack, so… You're doing something with the air around your body," Naruto surmised, smiling. Tusume nodded, smiling as well.

"Exactly. This jutsu is called Uchikake no Kaze, Robe of Wind. It alters the way air moves around your body, minimizing the disruption your movements cause. You tweak it correctly, and you can even cut the sound you make moving about almost to nothing. The Battle Fan Maidens of Sunagakure pioneered the concept, and I picked it up from one I worked with on a few joint missions." Naruto frowned.

"Battle Fan Maidens…?" Naruto immediately recalled Temari, Gaara's big sister, and nodded. "I've seen one before."

"Not many around these days in the Suna. Used to be a battalion of them at the beck and call of the Kazekage. No one would think that a woman with a small fan was dangerous, so they made excellent bodyguards and escorts. But, times change, and with fewer kunoichi the Wind Daimyo abolished them." Tusume shrugged. "Uchikake no Kaze was just one of several very useful techniques their order created, and I learned as many as I could." Naruto frowned a bit, and Tusume smirked.

"Just because I emphasize brains, body, and stealth doesn't mean I don't use chakra. Plenty of stupid people think that jutsus are the end all of being a great shinobi, but it's even more stupid to forsake using jutsus entirely." Naruto nodded.

"So, a balance is needed then?"

"For my line of work, in my role, yes. I needed to be versatile in taijutsu, ninjutsu and genjutsu, but by first enhancing my basic abilities, building my foundation strong, I made myself even better in those." Naruto shook his head, rubbing the sides of his temples.

"Guh…" Tusume frowned, concerned.

"Something wrong?" Naruto laughed quietly.

"Well… Guess I'm just looking back… And… How different everything seems. I mean… You flattened me without even trying over a month ago, and now…" Naruto shook his head. Tusume smiled, a hint of pride showing in what was normally a sarcastic expression.

"You learn fast, and you learn best by doing. There are others who learn best by reading about something, or being told it, or any number of other ways. The good teacher is the one who figures out how each of their students learn." Tusume then turned stern, and shook his cane.

"So don't be a lazy sensei when you get students of your own, someday!" Naruto saluted with a smirk.

"Got it, Old Man. Now then, about this Uchikake no Kaze thing…?"


"Don't tell me you're going senile on me already, Old Ma-OW!"

"Senile my wrinkled bottom."

"That I didn't need to hear…"

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The eighth week, Naruto came back after a run through the training course. He did a perfect backflip onto the roof of the house, swinging through a window.

"Old Man! Old man! Hey!" The genin frowned at no response to his shouts. He stretched his senses through the entirety of the whole house… And found nothing.

"OLD MAN! OLD MAN!" Naruto flew through the house, checking every room, but finding nothing. It wasn't until he stopped in the kitchen that he saw a small note on the wooden table. The young man grabbed it and read through, his expression dropping with every line.

Dear Naruto,

If you're reading this, then I'm long gone. Don't bother looking for me. You may be my best student, but I've got several decades more experience than you. This is just something I need to be alone on. I don't want you to think I left because of you. Hell, leaving is the last thing I want to do. But I don't have much choice. Thing is, I'm dying.

I've been dying for a long time, as a matter of fact. Nothing contagious, just something that happens when members of my family get old. As a matter of fact, when I met you I was headed back from the doctor's with the grim prognosis. It's something to do with our genes, I'm afraid. We naturally live hard, nothing we can do about it, and as a result we have a lot less time to work with.

You didn't do anything to expedite me dying. As a matter of fact, I had a month left at best. And you gave me an extra four weeks. Trust me, at my age and in my condition, feeling useful again can keep you alive a lot longer than medicine or chakra treatments. I've been alone for a long time, Naruto, but I was getting close to becoming that old bitter man I swore I'd never be. You kept me from going that far. So, even if I only lived for another month, it was among the best damn months I ever had.

Okay, technical stuff: I left you the house and the training course. You can sell it; live in it, whatever you want. Considering your feelings toward Konoha, however, you can just keep it as a vacation spot or training retreat. Again, entirely up to you. There's a workshop for making more of those weapons-My dad wanted to call them "Metal Jutsus", but it seems a bit wordy. I like to call them "Bangs", for the sounds they made, but it's up to you now. You can make as much ammo as you need, use the bigger weapons, make more, but do not give out the secrets of this technology. Not for a LONG TIME, if ever.

As far as money goes, I didn't have much left, but whatever's left is yours. For the rest…

Remember your training, always look before you leap, and remember that there is no such thing as an unbeatable situation. There is always a way, you just have to find it.

Finally, even if you fight the same way as the bad guys, you will never be as bad as they are because you make war on only them, and not the innocent. Fight dirty, fight hard, and look out for those you care about, and you'll be the best damn Hokage in history.


Jounin First Class Andoryuu Tusume, Section Six, ANBU

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Jiraiya sighed as he came into sight of the small town. He had never intended to be away this long, but all those girls… The Perverted Sannin couldn't help but drool slightly at the memory, still walking along the road.

"Oi! Ero-Sennin!" Jiraiya instinctively swung his head around to berate his student for his use of the hated nickname…

Before stopping dead on his words. Naruto stood before him, familiar foxy grin on his face. His loud orange jumpsuit had been replaced with black, chunin-style fatigues. His forehead protector remained the same, only much duller in its sheen. He wore a stiff-looking black vest in addition to a black pouch of the same material that probably held his weapons.

"I… I see you've been busy," Jiraiya got out, blinking awkwardly. Naruto's grin became bigger, though the toad summoner could see a new depth and maturity in the young man's eyes.


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Okay… First Naruto story was supposed to be sort of humorous. Guess I'll have to write more to make this funny. Please stand by.