G is for Gone

Disclaimer: If I owned this show would I still work for the government in a cube? I think not.

This is only partly betaed because otherwise is would never get posted. All mistakes are mine.

Two-year-old Emily Brooks Eppes was bored. Her mommy was out visiting Aunt Becky and her new baby. Her daddy, grandpa, uncle Charlie, "uncle Colby," "uncle Larry," and "uncle David" were there but being no fun. Sure, if she went up to any one of them, he would pick her up to sit with him, but after a few minutes he would get distracted and start yelling at the men on the TV trying to catch the white ball or hit the white ball with a stick and then run. Daddy sounded a little like he did when she had tried to put her fingers in the little holes in the wall that plugs go in or eat Cleo's food (sharing was apparently only good some of the time and rarely with cats). The TV men were certainly no Elmo in her opinion.

Emily noticed grandpa's keys on the table and she picked them up. They made a nice jingly sound. When there was more yelling at the TV men, Emily decided she would take a walk and jingle the keys. Keys in hand she wandered over to her favorite piece of furniture, the rattan ottoman, which was pushed under the dinning room table (by her of course). The rattan ottoman was her favorite because it had many places to poke fingers into and she could push it around with her. Immediately she went and pushed the key through the large hole in the center. They landed on the floor with a nice klunk!

Emily went off in search of more keys because she wanted to do that again. She saw a set of keys on the bench by the doorway. She got them and dropped them through the hole. They made a combination of a jingle and klunk! It was much more fun than the ball men on TV.

Emily tried to think of where she could find more keys, and then remembered that uncle Charlie and "uncle Larry" both had their big bags sitting behind the couch. She went and looked in one bag and found keys and then looked in the other and found more keys.

Taking one set of keys in each hand; Emily toddled over to the ottoman and dropped the keys in. This time she got more of a jingle than a klunk when she pushed them through.

Right after Emily pushed the keys into the ottoman, Don realized that his daughter had been quiet and out of his sight for a few minutes. He looked over his shoulder and saw her under the dining room table and called out, "Emmie, come sit with Daddy."

Emily was a daddy's girl through and through, so without hesitation she came running. Don picked her up and began to tickle her, which made her squeal and snuggle into her dad. Then "uncle Colby" started making his beer bottle whistle by blowing over the top of it. Emily was no longer bored. A short time later the toddler fell asleep and Don carried her upstairs to finish her nap.

The game was stretching into extra innings and the guys were running dangerously low on beer and chips. The nice veggie and dip platter that Robin had bought before she left been opened but pretty much touched only by Emily, who liked to gnaw on carrots. The plan was to order pizzas for dinner, but Alan thought he should go pick-up more snack food.

"Have you guys seen my keys?" asked Alan. He was ready to go, but couldn't seem to find his keys.

"Weren't they right here on the table?" replied Charlie.

"I thought so, but I can't find them."

The guys started to look around, on the floor and under the couch cushions.

Larry mused, "they have to be here somewhere since matter is neither created nor destroyed."

"Look Dad, why don't you take my car? The keys are by the door. We'll find yours latter," said Don.

"O.K.," replied Alan. Seconds later Alan calls "Oh Donnie, your keys seem to be gone too."

"That's weird," said Charlie. "Take my car instead. The keys are right here in my bag." However, when he reached into the bag for his keys he found they are gone.

Larry found the same thing. Only David and Colby had their keys since they kept them in their pockets. However, the other cars have them parked in. They were a little confused.

All of a sudden Colby starts laughing and says "you know when my sister was a kid she used to love to play with keys. Maybe Emily took them?"

Everyone starts to laugh and Don says, "I'll go wake the potential suspect and see if she will confess before we have to toss the place."

A couple minutes later Don carried Emily downstairs. He sits down on the couch with her and said "Emily did you take our keys?"

"Jingle clunk!" replies Emily.

"I think that's a yes dad," said Charlie grinning.

"Emily where did you put grandpa's keys?" asked Alan.

"GONE!" squealed Emily.

Don groaned and ran his fingers through his hair.

Colby said, "too bad none of the interrogation techniques we learned at Quantico are approved for use on toddlers."

Don replied, "I've interviewed hardened felons that are easier to crack than this kid when she is feeling stubborn. Let's divide the room up do search like we are looking for evidence, but please be neater in putting stuff back. I don't want Robin to kill me."

They started to search the room. Alan looked at the FBI agents beginning to search like they were looking evidence and said "guys she's less than three feet tall. She's not hiding anything at adult eye level."

The guys looked sheepish for thinking that Emily would be hiding things in places she couldn't reach.

Alan sat down on the floor in the middle of the room and immediately spotted the ottoman. He went over to it and picked it up. At the same time, Emily yelled "Grandpa find!" Sure enough, four sets of key were there.

Charlie said "so guys you do realize that my two-year-old niece just bested three veteran FBI agents. She must be a genius like her uncle."

Couch pillows begin to fly across the room in the direction of Charlie.