Or, Twenty-One Letters to the Order of the Burnt Bird
Letter Seven – "Why did Dudley bring me back to life?"
It was five in the morning on the seventeenth of July, and despite the early hour, all eighteen occupants of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place were in the kitchen.
In fact, aside from Luna and the twins, they were all standing on the kitchen table.
Most of them were contemplating the day's mystery. Exactly how had the entirety of Headquarters ended up flooded?
Hermione was glaring at the Headmaster as if the lack of logic were his fault. "Sir, how can this happen? Every room in the house, no matter which floor – not to mention the roof! They all have a covering of at least two feet of water on the ground! It doesn't make any sense!"
Dumbledore shifted slightly, trying to inch away from Hermione and not knock Minerva from the table into the water. "I'm afraid that I have no answer for you, Miss Granger."
Water suddenly splashed up and showered down onto the occupants of the table, reminding them all of what had woken them so early. They all turned to glower at the culprits.
Luna, Fred and George had decided that the new floor covering would be best put to use as a makeshift swimming pool, and had even swum down the stairs, which were also covered in water.
"You know the part that disturbs me the most?" Kingsley sighed as he turned his gaze from the three and down into the water. "The goldfish."
Fred grinned up at him, grabbed one of the fish and waved it in a vaguely threatening manner. The fish immediately began to struggle, and George smacked his brother's head, causing Fred to drop it.
"Very mature, boys," Bill said dryly.
"At least they aren't trying to –" Charlie cut himself off as George started trying to shove one of the poor goldfish down the back of Fred's t-shirt. "Never mind."
Molly opened her mouth to scold her sons for their animal cruelty, but didn't bother as she noticed that Luna was opening the window for Hedwig.
Hedwig quickly flew over to George and dropped the letter from Harry on his head. She then dove downwards, caught a goldfish in her talons and flew back out the window with a self-satisfied hoot.
Everyone stared after her until Ginny remembered that there was a letter to be read, and so threw a fork at George to remind him of that little fact.
George opened the slightly damp envelope, shook the letter open and read it with even more dramatic flair than he had used three days before.
I have now become a malformed skunk. Yes, skunk. Because someone forgot to tell Dudley Dursley that he is not a necromancer.
I am slightly confused. Why did Dudley bring me back to life?
PS. I could really use a glass of water. Got any to spare?'"
Ignoring the fact that Harry was evidently becoming more and more insane by the second, Remus decided to address what he felt was the most pressing matter in the letter. "Harry had something to do with this, I just know it!"
Severus turned and raised an eyebrow at the man over the heads of Neville and Hermione. "You are sounding disturbingly like me this morning, Remus."
Remus shrugged. "I'm right though, and I know you agree with me. Somehow, Harry caused this."
"It could just be a coincidence," Tonks offered doubtfully. No one missed Dumbledore's small sigh of relief that the woman had given up all traces of Tom Riddle the day before. "Maybe he was just really thirsty?"
Moody snorted. "You believe that about as much as I do, girl, and we all know that I'm the suspicious type."
"Really?" Luna asked, wide-eyed. Her affected innocence was ruined slightly by the fact that she was corralling goldfish between her hands and herding them in circles. Moody just glared at her.
Minerva sighed and gave up on her dignity and being relatively dry, stepping down into the water to join the three teenagers. "Whether Harry is to blame for this or not, there really isn't much we can do to him currently. I suggest we focus on attempting to drain the building."
"And then once we've achieved that," Arthur added. "We can see about disabusing Harry of this notion that he's a zombie-skunk."
Oh dear lord, it's a Dear Order chapter! Do try not to die from the shock of it all.
It has come to my attention that an insanely large amount of people are reading and reviewing this fic. I love you all. I can't reply to all the reviews any more, but I still love you all. And I'll try to reply to as many of you as I can (after I've posted the chapter this time, or it'll never get out). Now, repeat after me- 'Wolfie loves me and thanks me for my reviews'.
Ahem. Yes. Anyway.
Thanks for reading, as always, and please review. Reviews make the author happy, although they can't cure her unfortunate tendency to type in the third person.