Tiger Lily

By Takako

A/N: Hardly anyone writes Takari now. The Digimon fandom is slowly dying. Oh well. Here's my first Takari anyways. As usual, I don't own anything that I don't own. Song's called Tiger Lily by Matchbook Romance. Genre acoustic.

I always thought I was over her and it never occured to me until that day, that she still holds such a special place it my heart. I thought I had learnt to let go and I thought I was over her, I thought I could treat her as my best best buddy in the whole wide world, just like old times, no awkward moments, no secrets, no lies, pure innocence. I was wrong.

"Dinner at Amy's with everyone reunion be there at 7 pm."

Sender: Matt

This realization never dawned me until I got this innocent SMS I got from Matt that day, with a very platonic invitation to a reunion dinner at Amy's, that old fashioned restaurant where we used to hang around so often, has now became our sanctuary, where we pour our souls out to each other and at the same time gain advice and comfort. Although we seldom reunite, we always knew we were there for each other. Even though everyone had their own lives to care about, their own family, their careers, their friends; but our leader, Tai insists on regular reunions, but there was always someone missing. Her. She rarely came back ever since she left 7 years ago. She went to the States to precede her studies and career as a lawyer. I guess… that's better than staying here with me, an author who has unsteady income and a cake shop owner who spends most of his time mixing flour and butter and coming up with exotic flavours.

I got to Amy's pretty early after closing my cake shop and I saw her sitting at the corner of our reserved table, biting her lower lip and stroking the rim of her coffee cup, clearly deep in thought. Nope she didn't change a bit. I awkwardly slipped into my seat opposite to her, trying my best not to wake her up from her thoughts, but she seemed to have noticed my presence and lifted her head up. Our gaze met, and for that fleeting moment I could sense so many emotions running across her face. Was it happiness? Sorrow? Longing? Loving? Heartbreaking? Anxiety?

"Hi…" she said in a tiny voice, breaking the gaze with an equally tiny smile on her face.

"… Hey." She didn't say anything. I felt incredibly stupid. "So… how are you lately?"

Ah well, it turned out that she came back from the States for holidays.

"How is it there? Are you still getting used to the different lifestyles?" Obviously she already has, she has been there for what, 8 years?

She smiled. "Ya I guess so. But sometimes I really miss life in Japan." She looked down at her lap for a few seconds then she looked up again. "How are you? I heard you have a cake shop. I thought you write books!"

"Doing both. Authors don't have a steady income, you know. I'm not sure if I have consistent sources of inspiration to write a book every now and then."

"I never knew you can cook." She grinned. "Let alone bake."

"Well… people change, I guess."

"Ya, they do." She looked down at her coffee, watching the bubbles going round and round and round…

We drive tonight

And you are by my side

We're talking about our lives

Like we've known each other forever

"Remember how you used to cry over literally everything?" She laughed.

"Hey cut that out! It's a way of expressing your emotions!" I retorted. "It's not like you don't when you were young!"

"But not as often as you do!" She grinned, "I always felt like the guy taking care of the baby girl!"

I drove her home, Tai insisted, as he had to take Sora home. "She might get lost! She only came back a few days ago!" Our somewhat platonic conversation earlier on has almost turned into our usual TK-Kari conversation, making fun of each other, laughing at each other's embarrassing moments. But there was something missing, it was incomplete, it didn't feel right, it was still not how we used to talk. It was lacking something… it was lacking truth. Our conversations are so carefully and meticulously planned, and we avoid touching on sensitive subjects. This was not like old times. Definitely not.

And time flies by

With the sound of your voice

It's close to paradise

With the end surely near

"Fine! Have it your way!" I pouted. "I refuse to have any further arguments with you!"

She stuck her tongue at me like a 6 year old. Or just like old times. "No! It's not fun then!"

"You're right, it's not fun for me."

She rolled her eyes. "Gosh, men! Can't even stand a laugh or two."

I let out a weird laugh. I know it when I sound weird. "Men generally don't like their egos being deflated by women - " She was ready to open her mouth to retort when I interrupted, "and no, I don't want to start another conversation on the battle of the sexes."

"Because I always end up leaving you speechless?" She looked at me with this huge grin on her face. "If you haven't already figure that out, I'm a lawyer, TK. It's my job to make people miserable and deflating their oversized egos."

"But I'm not your client!"

She shrugged. "Can't help it!"

"Remember Davis' face when he saw Matt totally pissed off?"

"Ha yeah of course!" She burst into giggles, "It was priceless! Remember when he lost that basketball match against you?"

"And he slammed that basketball and it rebound onto his face?"

And if I could only stop the car and hold on to you

And never let go, I'll never let go

As we round the corner to your house you turned to me and said

I'd be going through withdrawal of you for this one night we have spent

And I want to speak these words but I guess I'll just bite my tongue

And accept someday somehow as the words that will hang from

Our laughter died off. She was glancing out the window. I could tell that she's thinking hard. It's all written over her face. And her eyes. My free hand reached over the handbrake and took hers.

"I know you have a thing for birthdays." I said out of the blue. "Happy Birthday for the last eight years."

"It's alright," she looked at me, her eyes sparkling. "I can live with it. Same goes to you as well."

Oh yes, she used to send me a birthday card every year. The number of drawings and artwork decreased proportionally with the number of years apart. As for me, I wrote her one letter for the first year. That was it.

And I, I don't wanna speak these words

Coz I, I don't wanna make things any worst

And I, I don't wanna speak these words

Coz I, I don't wanna make things any worst

Neither of us said anything throughout the rest of the ride. I spent my time thinking and enjoying her small hand in mine. This will probably be the last time that it can be as intimate as this. We both knew it. I know that I care about her a lot, but is it possible for us to be together again? She seems like a stranger to me, so far yet so close. I can no longer read her mind. I can no longer make her smile. I can no longer make her feel like home with me. I don't understand who she is and I don't know what she expects from me. And the fact that I broke her heart once doesn't really help. I told her I loved her once, but I hadn't got around to do anything.

Why does tonight have to end

Why don't we hit restart

And pause it at our favorite parts

We'll skip the goodbyes

I stopped to car outside her place. But neither of us moved. I gave her hand a squeeze.

"This is it." I couldn't help whispering.

She looked up and gave me one of her tiny smiles. "Ya. Thanks."

If I had it my way

I'd turn the car around and run away

Just you and I

No I can't. I can't tell her. Because she's no longer the Kari I knew so well, and I am no longer the TK she knew so well. We both changed, but there's one thing that's for certain: we will hold a special place in each other's heart that will be irreplaceable.

And I, I don't wanna speak these words

Coz I, I don't wanna make things any worst

And I, I don't wanna speak these words

Coz I, I don't wanna make things any worst