Gives to: Chocolateee
Why? Because she really wanted this to be updated. Thank her, doodes. Without her gentle poking, it would've taken another three years. (….D: Gods, I suck.)
Thank you to the reviewers and supporters as well!
You all make me so happy. :D
Where can I go so that the sadness of being alone will disappear?
"I have tomorrow..."
Around and round... In the time left behind, I am now
I loved you too muchand you are now on the other side of the wall
My feelings will never reach you... I'll put them in a sigh
Dull. Grey. The aftermath of wetness. The reason of depression. This is the result of heavy rain.
Dull. Grey. The reason for Naruto's tears. The aftermath of the ultimate mistake. This was Sasuke.
He and Rain were so very similar. But depressingly different. Rain was free. He wasn't.
Rain couldn't love.
Sasuke glared at the pale yellow walls. The candles on the sides flickered, and his heart squeezed slightly.
He hated this.
He hated not being able to see him.
He hated not being able to kiss him.
He hated not being able to touch him.
He hated…not being allowed to love him.
But, most of all, he hated what Naruto had become because of him.
Sasuke crumpled his fist, his nails digging into his palm.
He looked up.
He could do nothing.
The rain stopped.
He could do nothing, but watch over him when he had time.
The ground was wet.
He could do nothing, for now.
But watch over him…
As Dawn approached, Sasuke watched Naruto's hunched form from afar, knowing he could do nothing.
What was he always thinking about? Sasuke frowned. Even at a place like this, he was still so…peculiar.
Naruto stopped hugging his knees, and laid down onto the mattress, clutching his blanket and the bear. He shivered and slept, seemingly unnoticing his former teammate.
Sasuke slipped into the tree, and slept as well. He only had one day to do this, and they might move Naruto again. He had to know where he'd be placed next.
As he slept, he watched the sun go down, remembering their first date from the colors of the sky. The date hadn't been as terrific as Sasuke wanted, but he was still happy about the way it ended.
Thinking about him, he fell into a deep sleep.
The nurse smiled. She was very glad. Although Naruto had been placed into such a facility, his friends still took the time to visit him whenever they could, and whenever the Asylum allowed visiting hours.
Ah, that pink-haired girl came. She was the one that visited Naruto the most, often staying there for hours beside his side, although Naruto couldn't talk back. This made Naruto very happy, as when she left, he would always look like he'd want to smile.
Her own lips tugged up into a happy grin, as she realized Naruto had begun to become more responsive. Unlike the blank stare the pretty blue eyes gave her at the first meeting, when she visited him the second time with apples, he began to smile at her!
But it was a bit scary, really. His eyes were still eerily hollow, but yet he was truthfully smiling. And how did he make such a remarkable improvement in as little as 2 days?
Nevertheless, she kept those thoughts to herself, knowing that as ironic as it sounded, Naruto probably was smiling like that when he hit an especially painful spot in his old wounds. She knew about him. He would never be able to create new memories, living in his old ones forever.
Ninjutsu could never heal him. Only the one who had marked his memories could heal him. The one who eventually led Naruto in between these white walls.
The one who was always watching Naruto.
Sakura walked into the room, smiling at him. Next to her was Lee, who gave him a bright smile. Both knew that Naruto was Naruto; it didn't matter if he was a patient in a mental institute, he wasn't crazy, so she refused to treat him any differently then the old Naruto. But Naruto had become…happier. Her smile brightened even more as Naruto smiled.
Sakura was holding flowers, and quickly explained that they were from Ino, since she couldn't visit. It was her turn to look after the shop today.
Shikamaru had wanted to visit, but couldn't, because Tsunade kept on piling work on him and Chouji.
Tsunade and Jiriaya visited him whenever they could, which wasn't frequent.
Naruto noted Lee's arm around her waist, and he pointed. Sakura blushed, and began to say something frantically, and Naruto smiled, she looked so flustered. Lee looked at Naruto, aware of Naruto's previous crush. Naruto only smiled some more, as Lee looked relieved. He had Naruto's consent.
Naruto was glad that his friends were happy. Happiness was very rare nowadays, especially around this place.
He himself was never really happy.
They both sat down and began to talk to him, as Sakura spoke to him about random things, and lectured him for eating junk food (She had found the ramen cup in the trashcan.) and telling him to eat more, since Naruto was way too thin. She then dramatically said how Naruto was becoming prettier then her, and how she was fairly jealous.
Naruto felt like sleeping. Girls could talk forever about pointless things.
Then Sakura abruptly got up after she looked at the time. She immediately began to freak, and ran out, apologizing. Apparently, she had a mission, and she was late.
Naruto was a bit surprised. The old Sakura was a perfectionist. Then it dawned to him. Everybody was growing up and changing, becoming different for better or worse…
Except for him.
Naruto looked down as Sakura ran back to kiss Lee's cheek, and Naruto felt his heart quench, his mind revving up the image of Sasuke's soft lips.
He pushed the thought to the back of his mind, as Lee started talking to him. Lee looked more like Guy year after year, and he looked more knowledgeable. Naruto could only wonder if he looked like a child in comparison.
Lee still retained some of his childhood quirks, such as droning on and on about youth, and talking about Guy-sensei and Taijutsu.
When it was time to leave, he struck his "Good guy" pose and Naruto's eyes slightly sparkled with childish laughter.
He ate and was accompanied by the nurse after.
An Hour after that, Neji visited with Hinata and Tenten.
Hinata looked very sorrowful and was about to cry when she saw him. She still loved him, but as a brother. She hated how he was still in such a place. Both girls expressed sympathy, and stayed there to talk to him. Neji stood in the background as Tenten told Naruto about everything happening in the outside world, while Hinata told him she was being promoted into a Jounin.
Soon, Tenten had to leave, and Hinata left with a completely odd truthful outburst. Naruto had made her stronger, and she didn't know what to say to make him snap out of this! She turned red, her arms shaking as she fought back tears.
"Please continue your dream to become Hokage!"
She really wanted to say 'Forget about Sasuke! He's not worth you becoming like this!', but the words wouldn't form.
And then, like the oddball she is, Hinata ran out crying. Naruto was stunned. He cocked his head. Reality had clashed a while ago. He would never become Hokage no matter how he tried. This revelation didn't scare him, or make him feel sad. He felt nothing; Sasuke's disappearance made him realize that without him, everything was pointless. Naruto knew it was his fault to give Sasuke all of himself and forgetting about everything and everyone else. Because of this, it was also his fault that when Sasuke betrayed him, he ended up in an Asylum on his own.
It was his entire fault, but yet he didn't feel any regret.
What a complicated feeling.
This brought Naruto back from his muse.
Neji was still in the room, and he looked like he was in pain. Naruto looked worried, and stared at him, not voicing his concern.
"…I can make you forget about Uchiha."
Naruto's eyes widened in shock. "Everybody is worried for your well-being, Naruto… they all hide it."
Naruto bit his lip, and tore his eyes away from Neji's white ones.
"I love you."
Naruto began to tremble. N-Neji was saying such weird things. He couldn't love him. Everyone would only leave him.
"I want to help you, and I've loved you for a long time."
He said it again. He said it again!
Naruto wasn't looking at him, his eyes were wide and he was gasping, blinking back tears. Why was it so painful to just hear those words?
Neji got up and went to his side, bending over.
Naruto gripped his blond hair, his eyes shut tightly. His lips were bleeding from nervous biting.
Slowly, Neji placed his warm hands over Naruto's frantic ones, and brought them to his side, he then lifted Naruto's face with both of his hands, taking a good look at his beautiful face.
Naruto felt something warm against his lips, and he opened his eyes. He saw Neji's white irises stare back and he continued to lick Naruto's lips. Naruto softened, and let Neji kiss him, although the sore pain in his heart didn't go away.
Neji kissed his cheeks and hugged him the whole time, while Naruto sat there, surprised.
When Neji looked at him, there was so much honesty in his stare. He childishly began to kiss back.
He didn't have the secretive shadow Sasuke always had, and Neji gave off a feeling that he would never leave, while with Sasuke, there was always a hint of doubt.
Neji was surprised. Suddenly he pulled away, sensing someone nearby. Naruto looked up at him, confused and sad. Why did he pull away? Did he really not like him?
Neji explained, "Someone was nearby. I couldn't detect who he was-he was fast."
Naruto cocked his head. Someone was nearby?
Neji then sat on the bed with Naruto, and kissed him some more.
Finally, he left when evening approached, asking Naruto to think about it.
Naruto stared at the place Neji was sitting a few moments ago. Neji was smart. He knew that although he kissed him back, he still wanted Sasuke.
He didn't like him that way. But the one quality that never disappeared was the fact that he was...
Naruto was tired, and after he ate, he wanted to sleep, but at the last minute, Kiba and Shino came to visit.
And Kiba immediately started a Ruckus.
And they were immediately ushered out after Kiba began hooting in the hallways, scaring the patients and sending them into a state of panic.
Naruto could only stare agape as he watched people chasing Kiba and destroying things, while the nurses tried to calm their patients.
Shino was just able to toss a box of chocolates to Naruto before he disappeared within the mob.
Likewise, everything always went out of control with Kiba.
'That idiot.' Shino thought, as the Anbu escorted them out.
Naruto knew that they wouldn't be allowed back for a while. Poor Shino, he always had to suffer with Kiba, although he didn't do anything.
The moon shown brightly and illuminated the blond's features. He was asleep; his body covered by the thin white blanket, his lips was slightly open, as he breathed in and out.
Naruto had become undeniably pretty, as he was so thin and still retained his baby features, such as his wide blue eyes, soft light silky hair, and round face. He was adorable, and he looked so harmless and quiet that some people generally looked at him with kindness. Of course, there were plenty of others who were happy about his state of being.
A hand reached out and petted his blond locks.
He stroked lovingly against his cheek, until Naruto began to stir from his sleep. The hand withdrew.
Naruto's eyes fluttered open, and he rubbed his eyes. Who was that?
The voice was strict, soft, and deep.
Naruto turned to where the voice was, and all he found was shadow.
Who was it?
He cocked his head at the eerie silence. Who called him?
He frowned, and fell back on his bed.
As he looked up, expecting to see cracks on the ceiling, he instead met face to face with emotionless green eyes.
Naruto smiled immediately, and hugged him, pulling him onto him.
It was Gaara!
The boy didn't visit often, because of his busy duty as Suna's Kazekage.
Gaara and Naruto had a unique understanding of one another, and both still have a tight bond. Gaara made him feel better.
A barely seen smile graced its presence on Gaara's lips, and he hugged back, pulling the slender boy upward onto his lap.
Naruto sat on his lap for a little while, before plopping back onto the bed, his dull blue eyes showing a rare spark.
Gaara was surprised. Last time he visited, Naruto had been especially emotionless, ignoring his presence and looking at him with sad eyes. Gaara had never been on good terms with Uchiha, but this made him hate him even more.
The fire that was in Naruto eyes had become a mere flicker.
Gaara asked, "You…you're happier."
Naruto paused. He was?
"You've been able to smile for how long?"
He held up two fingers.
"Two days…I see."
"Is it because of Uchiha? Pain can often make you remember things that make you smile, or become sad. Facial expressions can be changed so easily…"
Naruto looked away sadly, was it because of him? He had flinched at that.
"Well, I'm relieved. You're improving, even if it is him." He said 'him' as if it was poison.
He stayed there, and Naruto leaned on him. Comfortable silence formed between them.
Then it was Broken.
Gaara leaned close to him, and his breath ghosted his lips when Naruto pulled away from him.
Pink lips gasped. What…?
Gaara looked down at Naruto, serious. "I want a kiss."
Naruto turned red. Then he nodded and closed his eyes. He and Gaara understood each other. They both had a unique love, establishing itself since their fight. Both experienced similar suffering.
Gaara claimed those lips, cradling his body. After the softness went away, Gaara proposed,
"Come with me to Suna."
He didn't have to say it, his eyes showed something that terrified Naruto. 'Love.'
The same look Neji and Sasuke gave him.
He was selfish, but he…didn't want this. He didn't want this. He only loved Sasuke. Still.
Gaara's eyes flickered outside. He glared.
Gaara kissed him again, suspiciously looking outside.
"Kabuto…did you manage to track down where they will place Naruto next?" Kabuto gave him a slight grin.
"I don't understand why they have to shift him somewhere new every week." The voice was annoyed.
"Naruto-kun is still being targeted by Akatsuki, and remember, it's because of you he's weak."
Sasuke glared. "He got weak on his own." He hissed.
"…Is that so?"
When silence greeted him, he continued, "Why do you insist of watching him?"
Sasuke's features became blank.
"That's none of your business."
Kabuto handed him the address to which Asylum Naruto was going to be transferred to next.
Kabuto asked, "Sasuke-kun, you seem a bit angry today. Care to share?"
Sasuke's black eyes turned blood red. "I'm not angry." He said coldly, and left the room.
Kabuto stared in silence.
Sasuke was amusing to watch.
From the time when he was born, he was expected to be as successful and as smart as Itachi was, and as flawless as possible.
From the time he was born, he was expected to be serious, and although he was untaught, he was to act with propriety.
He didn't have freedom at all.
Then he met him. Uzumaki Naruto.
The blond was completely free.
When he first saw him, he was around the age of three, and his parents had told him not to go near him.
"He's nothing but bad luck." He recalled his father saying.
Sasuke could only nod and wonder how that happy looking blond could be trouble. When he asked all he got was, "Do not question me."
But his father explained anyway.
He remembered his Father's eyes hardening, "He…is a monster. He's killed more Uchiha members then anyone in History. I cannot believe they would allow such a monster to go to your academy, Sasuke."
Fugaku said without a smile, "Yes. You will be attending next year."
Sasuke grinned and thought to himself, 'I'll finally get stronger! I'll beat nii-san!'
He saw him. Coincidentally, he was in his class. He avoided him as best as he could.
He met Naruto. Him.
The boy was so helpless and weak. Sasuke saw through his pathetic front. He paid for his ramen.
At school, he was always, always, so damn loud! But around him, he was so…cute. Sasuke experienced a deep, crush. And he felt horrible, because father had clearly told him not to go near him. To like him was a whole different story.
And he was the one who initiated it.
And he didn't regret it. It was true that he was nothing but a child, but so what? His feelings got him this far, didn't it?
He was still watching him, wasn't he?
And he still loved him…
He was a faggot. He didn't care.
He hurt Naruto many times.
He didn't care.
Because he knows that Naruto still is in love with him.
And because of that love, he is behind these white walls.
And because he is in these asylums, Sasuke will keep on visiting him.
Because he's in love with him as well.
That's why blinding rage is engulfing his senses.
If Naruto still loves him as much as he thinks he does, then why did he let them kiss him?
He wanted to kill them.
He was hoping to visit Naruto when he freed himself from Orochimaru's grasp, but it seemed that if he didn't appear and take him away, others will.
Sasuke looked up at the sky.
It's raining again.
"Tonight." He murmured. He quickly cloaked the presence of his chakra when he saw Konoha's Anbu hop a few feet from him.
"Tonight." He repeated, his eyes flashing.
Gaara had left.
Naruto had shook his head at his offer, and smiled sheepishly.
Gaara looked at him emotionlessly, before respecting his choice.
Naruto chose to stay.
He stared at the rattled dirty ceiling. They were going to move him again tomorrow.
He closed his eyes.
He appeared to be sleeping, but he was just traveling along the path of his mind. Wherever it would lead him. He was starting to grasp control, but he didn't want the control.
He allowed himself to be taken wherever it wanted to go.
Sasuke was holding his hand. He was smiling and saying something.
There were times when his mind would behave dangerously. It would conjure scenarios between them they may have existed, may have not existed.
The nurse had come in.
There were many times when he could not tell reality from fantasy. He went through the future. The past. Everything in between.
It didn't scare him, but it should. The years in this facility was killing him. He was isolated and lonely.
Every day went by so fast. A day. A week. A month. A year.
Soon it'll be a decade, and Naruto would still be the same.
Living in his mind for eternity.
"You hungry, sweetie?"
Naruto looked at her and smiled.
Everyone would grow up; lead their lives for the good and bad, while Naruto would remain the same.
(But that was okay.)
"Well, no ramen, I got caught." She stuck out her tongue sheepishly.
Naruto's smile widened.
(Because even if it's make-believe, it's still Sasuke.)
"I have a bento and some nice fizzy sodas, though. We can share." She handed him a pair of chopsticks.
She watched the boy take them, and she looked at him with a sad lopsided grin.
The quiet snapping of the chopsticks caught Naruto's attention for a good minute before he blinked and looked at her.
The woman looked puzzled, before she beamed and ruffled his hair. "You're a cute kid, Naruto. You don't belong here." She opened the bento, and took out a California roll.
Eating it happily, she said, "When you want to talk, you can tell me everything. Just know that…well, I'm here."
She gulped and washed the remnants of fish and rice down her throat with soda pop.
Naruto watched as the marble inside the glass drink wobbled back and forth. Taking one for himself, he eyed it.
The both ate in the warmth her speech.
The nurse was telling him how half of her apartment almost burnt down the other day because she left the stove on.
"It was really scary." Resting her head on her hand, she munched on another sashimi roll before burping. "Heh, sorry about that."
Naruto almost laughed. This woman proved that youth did not necessarily mean age. She had an appearance of a woman, but it was like…she was internally a teenager.
"Well, that Sasuke guy."
Naruto froze. How did she know?
"I'm sorry for saying something about him out of the blue. But he's kind of…I don't know. Not worth you staying here? Yeah, that's it."
Naruto felt his entire world shatter. What was she saying?
What was she saying?
"You're not alone, Naruto. I don't know how he put you in here-"
He was crying.
Stop it. Stop saying such things.
Stop destroying the only thing I have left of him…!
The nurse stared at him silently, contemplating whether or not to continue.
"Naruto. I many not know what sort of promise you two made, but promises are always broken."
Even if Sasuke did promise him, left a note, anything! He would fulfill it!
He would never break it.
"…You're…trembling. Are you…? You really think that loving him this much will bring him back…"
She stopped eating.
The boy was on the line of being in love, and the syndrome of believing he was in love.
She tipped her chin to look at the webby ceilings.
She had heard from the professor a long time ago that there were people who would believe so deeply and painstakingly that they loved a certain someone.
"To love with no boundary was insanity. To view that person in a better light in false actuality and to love him for who he is was different."
"When you are in an obsessive love, it's really hard to break free from it," He had said.
"You idolize and respect him or her as if they were a god. You make excuses for their flaws, and you constantly think about them in a better light then they actually are."
"There will be some brief moments of rage when they are not around, and a catalyst will be used to be abused."
"Love would be a danger to themselves. They have no problem listening to everything their lover has to say, and would kill themselves if they asked."
This condition wasn't rare. But suddenly, the nurse had to wonder.
She stared at the boy's sniffling figure.
Was this truly an illness? To give every being of yourself to someone you love and can trust?
And to be betrayed after.
Her eyes flitted to the bear on the foot of the bed. It was in a terrible condition.
"I'm sorry, Naruto. I won't say more." She said apologetically.
Naruto heard her heels clack hesitantly, before stepping away. She left him to his thoughts.
The hours and the rest of the day came and went as a large blur. Figures moved around him, and he faintly heard speaking, noises, the door creaks.
Naruto had not budged from his position. He stared down at the sheets, and clutched them.
Sasuke was smiling at him.
Sasuke was calling him.
Sasuke was there. He always was.
Sasuke was gazing at him with love-filled eyes. "S-Sasuke…" He whispered. The sheets were gripped tighter.
Sasuke was undressing him, and kissing him. He closed his eyes.
He smiled at him.
Sasuke was hugging him on during a mission. Sasuke was…
Two hands suddenly gripped his shoulders, forcing him to look up. Two black eyes stared at him listlessly.
Naruto looked at the man in wonder.
Immediately, he was pushed onto the rough mattress, and his lips were kissed. A desperate tongue snuck into the soft parting over Naruto's slightly dry lips. Naruto felt a dimming alarm surface. Was this real?
Sasuke was kissing him so deeply. He tasted quaint, like onigiri and biscuits. And there was a scent of Sasuke that he never sniffed before. It was an aroma of pine trees.
"Mnn…" Sasuke grunted and his fingers intertwined with Naruto's. One hand was behind his hair.
Naruto jerked away, and pushed him away, his eyes wide and scared.
Sasuke was here.
Sasuke stared unblinkingly at the blond, who was now very pale.
"It's been a while, hasn't it? Naruto."
A/N: …Well. It seems that a third chapter is required.
Next time. Sasuke and Naruto's encounter and afterwards.
Well, review. :D I may update faster.