The Misadventures of Merry
Disclaimer: We do not own anything pertaining to Lord of the Rings.
Anything from Tolkien's mind is not ours, including characters and places
But anything that we add in, are ours, so, yeah! We're respectfully
borrowing them! Muahahahahahahaha!
AN: This was co-written by Torilei and Perronegro. We had a lot of fun
with this! It's our first story we wrote together!
Summary: What was life like for Merry and Pippin before they "ran into"
Frodo and Sam in the field on their way to Rivendell? You're about to
"Merry! He's coming! Quick! Run!" Pippin exclaimed as he saw the angry farmer running after him.
This wasn't an unusual predicament in the life of Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took. In fact, they went to Farmer Maggot's field every time they got the chance!
"I'm trying, Pippin!" Merry shouted after his cousin. "I could go a little faster if you would help me carry the load!"
Pippin only laughed a little and shrugged it off. He always made Merry carry the load. Carrying heavy bags filled with different vegetables just wasn't his idea of a good time. But stealing from Farmer Maggot sure was! He had no problem picking out the crops he wanted and putting them in Merry's bag.
Suddenly, the smile was wiped off his face when he heard a dog barking behind them. Merry glanced back. "You've done it this time, Pippin!" he exclaimed, looking wide-eyed at his cousin. "He sent the dogs after us!"
"Oh, so that's my fault!" Pippin shouted back. "If I'm not mistaken, you plan on eating the food too!"
Merry sighed. "That's beside the point, Pippin!" he replied angrily. "The real question is, how do we get these dogs off our trail? We'll be caught for sure!"
But again, Pippin laughed. "Don't fret, Merry!" he said lightly. "I can speak dog!"
"You can what!" Merry hissed when the other hobbit stopped running. "Pippin, what do you think you're doing! Are you mad!"
"Quite the opposite, Merry." Pippin said, facing the dogs that were coming at them in a fury. "Using my superior intellect, I will simply tell these dogs to stop chasing us since we're not here to do them nor their master any harm, and we're definitely not taking anything valuable!"
Merry rolled his eyes, knowing that his cousin's plan wasn't going to work. Who could speak dog! Pippin could be so dimwitted at times… Suddenly, his eyes widened in disbelief and horror when Pippin started barking back at the dogs. "Pippin!" Merry whispered fiercely. "Stop that!"
"What are you so worried about, Merry?" Pippin asked. "As you can see, it's plainly working…"
No. Merry couldn't see that it was working. In fact, the dogs were running at them at the exact same pace and with as much anger as before. "Um, Pippin." he muttered, looking at the dogs nervously. "It's not working."
Pippin looked back at the field, and saw that his cousin was right, and gulped nervously. "Merry," he said, getting slowly to his feet. "Do you have a plan B?"
Merry nodded. "That I do." he replied. "It's exactly what we were doing before. RUN!"
Pippin didn't need telling twice. As soon as the word left Merry's mouth, he was dashing after the other hobbit as they ran as fast as they could possibly go toward the edge of the field. Farmer Maggot slowed to a stop, seeing that the two mischievous hobbits had disappeared again. "I'll get you next time, mark my words!" he shouted after them, the dogs at his feet still barking madly.
Later that night back at the Brandybuck residence, Merry and Pippin ate like kings. They went through a 30 gallon paper bag of cooked vegetables, complements of Merry's excellent cooking skills. Afterward, Pippin was still hungry, so they made a few cakes, along with a steak and some fresh strawberries.
"Now I'm stuffed. Great cooking, Merry." Pippin said as he rubbed his stomach. "I can't believe I ate that much!"
"Well thanks for sharing this time, Pippin." Merry said sarcastically.
Pippin smiled. "Not a problem!" he replied, not recognizing that Merry was being sarcastic.
Merry rolled his eyes. He was only thankful that he wasn't as dimwitted as his cousin was.
"You know, Merry, I've never liked farms." Pippin muttered, staring at the large (at least to them) building with unease.
Merry laughed. "Why?" he asked. "It's just the storage place for animals."
"I know that, Merry." Pippin answered, watching as a chicken walked past them. "At least we're getting paid to watch the farm for the Proudfoot's while they're gone today."
"Proudfeet, Pippin." Merry corrected. "Feet. Get it right!"
"Oh, whatever." Pippin muttered, walking toward the stables. "Let's just get this over with."
But as soon as they entered the dimly lit stable, Pippin's whole attitude changed. "Oh, look at all the pretty horses, Merry!" he exclaimed.
Merry rolled his eyes. Yep. That was Pippin all right… Angry about something until something else distracted him.
Then, his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. His cousin had opened the door to one of the horses' pens, and he was petting it… but he hadn't closed it again behind him. "Pippin…" he muttered slowly. "What are you doing?"
Pippin looked back at him. "I'm petting the horse!" he answered cheerfully like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "What else would I be doing?"
Before Merry could tell him to close the door, he noticed an open bag of the horses' food at his feet…
"Pippin!" he hissed anxiously. "Close the door!"
"Why?" Pippin asked, confused. "It's not like Princess will run away or anything!"
But before Merry could question his choice of name and before Pippin could react, "Princess" galloped quickly past them and headed toward the food. "Princess, stop!" Pippin shouted, running toward the horse with his arms flailing wildly in front of him. "Come back!"
But instead of getting anywhere near the horse, Pippin's actions startled her and she ran out of the stables, jumping over the fence that was surrounding the barnyard.
Merry watched the horse disappear with dread. "Now what do we do?" he moaned.
Pippin smiled (Merry knew that he should beware that smile). "Don't fret, Merry!" he replied. "I have an idea!" He walked over to the other pens that were holding the remaining four horses… and he opened each one of them.
"Go after her!" he shouted, shooing the horses out of the stable. "Bring her back! That's a good horse!"
Merry watched three of the horses also jump the fence and disappear in the same direction that "Princess" had. But the last horse was younger than the others, and couldn't jump as high. One of the animal's back hooves hit the latch that was holding the gate shut, and the door slowly swung open as the horse vanished.
Pippin and Merry watched, awe struck, as the chickens, dogs, cats, and any other farm animal they could imagine that would be there all ran out of the barnyard and headed toward Farmer Maggot's nearby field.
"You've really done it this time, Pippin." was the only thing Merry was able to mutter.
The next day was that day the Shire had been worked up about for a long time; Bilbo Baggins' 111th birthday party! Everyone who was anyone was invited, and unfortunately for everyone else, that included the infamous Merry and Pippin. They had done something to screw up every get together since they were old enough to walk. For instance, on Farmer Maggot's 40th birthday when the pair were only five and six, at the time the farmer was giving his speech, Merry and Pippin pulled off the main table's cloth, spilling the great banquet previously prepared everywhere. It was the first time they had been chased off by the farmer… and the beginning of a terrible relationship between Farmer Maggot and the pair. He never quite seemed to completely forgive them for that incident…
But this time, Merry vowed to make sure that it was different. This time, they wouldn't mess anything up. He would make sure of it.
They had been assigned the job of lighting all of the candles that were on the many tables. But as he went about his half of the tables, Merry could imagine Pippin accidentally missing the candle and lighting the table on fire, or tripping and making the entire lawn burst into flames! Or even worse, lighting his hair on fire…
Trying to forget his worries, Merry got back to work. He hadn't seen any smoke yet or smelt burning hair. Pippin was fine. Pippin was going to be fine. He wouldn't mess this up.
Merry jumped when he saw that Pippin was standing right next to him. Why hadn't he noticed? "What are you doing, Pippin?" he asked.
Pippin smiled. For some reason, that smile made him uneasy… "I finished my tables already." Pippin answered. "Now, I'm bored, so I'm watching you light your candles!"
Merry glanced over at the tables that Pippin had supposedly finished, and he had to admit that he was impressed. All of the candles were perfectly lit, and there wasn't any trace of an accident. "Wow." he muttered. "Good work, Pippin!"
Pippin nodded. "Don't I always do good work, Merry?" he asked, beaming.
Merry looked up at him in disbelief. "Don't tell me that you're seriously asking me that!" he exclaimed.
Pippin's smile vanished as he sat on one of the tables to try to figure out what Merry could possibly mean. But he failed to notice the candle near him was mere inches away from his shirt…
Suddenly, Pippin looked angrily down at Merry. "Hey! That wasn't very nice!" he said.
Merry looked up at him briefly before he continued lighting. "What wasn't very nice?" he replied innocently.
Before Pippin could answer, he wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Do you smell something burning, Merry?" he asked.
Merry looked up, and dreadfully realized that there was something burning. His eyes widened fearfully. "Pippin, you're on fire!" he shouted.
"What!" Pippin exclaimed, looking down. "That's impossible…" But when he saw that there was a small flame on the bottom of his shirt, he cried out and leapt off the table, his shirt brushing against the table cloth and setting that ablaze. "Merry, help me!" he exclaimed, running around.
Merry was concentrating on the tablecloth, blowing on it to try to put it out. But his efforts were only making the flame bigger. He stepped back, realizing that he couldn't extinguish the fire. "Pippin, what have you done this time?" he whispered to himself.
"MERRY! HELP!" Pippin shouted, still running in circles.
Merry turned around, thinking that he should help his cousin. "Pippin, you know what to do!" he exclaimed. "Stop, drop, and roll! Stop, drop, and roll!"
Pippin quickly stopped running and dropped to the ground, rolling around as he tried to extinguish the flame.
Suddenly, ice cold water rained down on top of them, drenching Merry, Pippin, and extinguishing the fire that was on the tablecloth. The two hobbits looked up and saw that Gandalf was standing over them with an empty bucket in his hand, shaking his head with the hint of a smile forming at the corner of his mouth.
"Can't anyone entrust you to do anything!" he asked, drying the two hobbits, the table, and rekindling the flame of the many candles with his staff. "There. Now your task is done!"
"Thank you, Gandalf!" Merry said, grateful.
"Sure. But be warned," Gandalf said, his tone serious, "don't go messing things up again. Tonight is a very important night!"
"Sure thing, Gandalf!" Merry called after him as the wizard walked away.
Pippin looked at him, smiling yet again. "Hey, at least we benefited from this fire somehow!" he said optimistically. "Now, we don't have to finish the job!"
For some reason, everything was running smoothly after that. The guests were all there, and all of the candles were safely lit. Everyone was having a good time.
Merry was standing back, watching all of the guests talk with each other. He saw Bilbo, the guest of honor, talking with Frodo and trying to dodge some of the other guests. Yes, everything was going good.
"Merry, I'm bored." Pippin said suddenly, a blank look on his face as he looked out at all of the guests. "I want something fun and exciting to happen!"
"Well, Pippin. You can't expect just everything to be fun and exciting…" Merry began, but stopped when he heard Pippin's sharp intake of breath. "What?" he asked, looking at Pippin's illuminating face in alarm.
"Look at that!" Pippin replied in an excited whisper, pointing. "Gandalf's fireworks!"
And there it was. A cart full of magnificent almost magical fireworks that Gandalf had brought with him to the party. He didn't know why, but Merry had the sudden urge to light one… But, what would they light it with?
Before he could voice his thoughts to his cousin, Pippin ran over to the cart and jumped on to it, looking through them. "There are so many…" he whispered, inspecting each one carefully. Which one should he choose?
"Big one! Big one!" came Merry's excited whisper from below him. He had been so captivated by the sight that Pippin hadn't noticed that his cousin had followed him. Then, he saw the one that Merry had seen.
It was huge, much bigger than the other ones were by far. Big and red. He couldn't ask for a better choice!
Quickly glancing around to make sure that no one was looking, Pippin grabbed the firework and leapt off the cart.
"Do you have something to light it with?" Merry asked, eyeing the firework excitedly.
Pippin smiled his warning smile and slowly pulled a match out of his pocket that he had kept from lighting the candles earlier. "Still in good condition." he said, striking it and bringing it near the firework…
Suddenly, a thought occurred to Merry. It wasn't in the ground. "Put it in the ground!" he shouted, pushing it toward Pippin.
Pippin looked at him horrified. "It is in the ground!" he exclaimed, pushing it back.
"No it's not!" Merry argued, pushing it back yet again.
"It was your idea!" Pippin shouted, but before he could push it back again, the firework went off.
The effect was amazing. The firework erupted in front of the two hobbits, sending bright red sparks into the air around them. All of the hobbits cheered as the brilliant display happened, but then screamed when a dragon formed from the firework and swooped down toward them. Merry and Pippin felt nervous when they heard this, and when they heard Frodo say, "Bilbo, watch out for the dragon!" But they laughed as they continued to watch the dragon fly out over the lake, soon bursting into a bright firework display.
Now that the "dragon" was gone, the hobbits all cheered again at the wonderful display above them. Merry and Pippin were still laughing. "Brilliant." Pippin said in awe.
Merry nodded in agreement. "Let's get another one." he said in an excited way.
But before they could, a sudden tug on their ears stopped them from moving forward. Merry and Pippin looked up only to see Gandalf looking down at their burnt faces with disapproval. "Meriadoc Brandybuck. And Peregrin Took." he muttered, looking from one hobbit to the other. "I might have known."
The next day, they were there again… in Farmer Maggot's field.
"What should we grab this time, Merry?" Pippin asked, looking at their wide variety. "Corn? Potatoes? Cabbages? Carrots?"
"I don't know, Pippin." Merry answered. "There's so much! Oh! I know! Grab a little bit of all!"
Pippin shrugged and began gathering up some of the vegetables. "Okay! You are the one who's going to carry all of this!"
Merry looked at his cousin, disgruntled. "Yeah, yeah." he muttered. "Just hurry it up! We don't want to be caught!"
"We won't be!" Pippin reassured him, grabbing some more carrots. "We outrun him every time!"
"You're right about that, but I think he might catch us one of these days." Merry said, but he continued to grab some more vegetables anyway.
"Nonsense!" Pippin exclaimed. "When was the last time he even got close to catching us!"
That's when they heard the dog bark.
"Run for it, Pippin!" Merry shouted, slinging the bag over his shoulder and running through the field with the other hobbit behind him.
"Judging by the sound of that bark, I don't think he's all that close." Pippin muttered, more to himself as he glanced behind him.
That's when he saw the pitchfork above the corn stalks. "Stay out of my field!" he heard the angry farmer shout.
"He's serious this time, Merry!" Pippin cried, hurrying his pace. "He's got the dogs and the pitchfork!"
"Keep running!" Merry ordered, making sure that Pippin was keeping up with him.
Suddenly, he ran headlong into someone. He heard the person's gasp of surprise as they both hit the floor, and then he heard Pippin run into a second person. What was going on?
Pippin looked down at the person he had run into, and he smiled brightly. "Frodo!" he exclaimed. "Merry, it's Frodo Baggins!"
"Hello, Frodo!" Merry said, sitting up to look at his distant relative. He looked down and saw that he had run into Sam, Frodo's gardener.
Sam quickly stood up and rushed over to Pippin, shoving him off of Frodo. "Get off him!" he ordered.
And so began their adventure outside of the Shire, where more misadventures were sure to happen.
AN: Hope you liked it! Please R&R! Reviews are very much appreciated!