A/N: This idea started as a smut request on another site for a Femme!Ed pairing, but then I decided to start it over and didn't want to get rid of all this writing. So I'm turning it into a regular non-smut fic. In this story Fullmetal was born female instead of male. It takes place after the end of the series. AU since I changed it for the story plot to work. It's a cross between the anime and manga stories.
Rated mature for adult themes and language.
Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of the characters.
"Hey there, cutie. Where are you headed?"
Alphonse Elric cringed. The guy really shouldn't have said it. He should have known better. Then again, his older sister wasn't exactly the average young woman. Al had grown up with her, the guys who had the bad luck of attempting to flirt with her had not. He smiled, feeling a tinge of sympathy for the guy in front of them as he halted in his tracks, eyes wide in shock at the expression Ed had. A sneer evil enough to scare any normal person was currently gracing her features.
"You. Think. I'm... Cute?" She said slowly, grinding each word out from her clenched jaw.
"Uh...," The unfortunate guy was frozen in place, eyes darting back and forth as if looking for an escape route.
Al sighed and braced himself for what he knew was coming. He was considering tieing a sign to her that read: 'Warning: Hazardous to Anyone With a Penis', but he knew most guys would be concentrating on various parts of her body and be oblivious to the sign. He saw her muscles tense and knew he had to act before the guy was beaten to a pulp.
"I'll show you cute!" Ed lunged and Al grabbed her around the waist just as her hands latched onto the guy's shirt collar, and lifted her up off the floor. He had to strain a little as she was nearly as strong as he was. It had been much easier holding onto her when he had been a seven foot suit of armor.
"I apologise for this," He said to the guy with a laugh," She's usually not this bad."
"Al, let me go right now!" His older sister fumed," I'll transmute his dick to his forehead!"
The guy gulped and took this as the chance to get away without a bruise. Al relaxed as he vanished in the crowd of on-lookers and set her back down. Ed pushed away from him after a moment, growling.
"You should go easier on them, they aren't actually trying to insult you," the teen followed her as she stomped off down the street," In fact, it's the opposite, they like you."
"Yeah, well it's not my fault if they ask for it," She grumbled out, not having really payed attention to what her brother had said.
Al smiled and shook his head. Ed could deny it all she wanted, but she was cute. Well, at first glance anyway. Most guys found her frightening after her bad temper rained all over their parade. Outwardly she acted as if she hated being called cute, but Alphonse could guess the real reason, though he dared not to say it outloud. He had brought her back to life when she'd gotten killed in the final battle with the Homunculi. In return Ed had lost the arm she'd just gotten returned to give Al his body back. Her leg was still real, but she'd ended up with auto-mail for a right arm again. When she'd had two limbs replaced with auto-mail she had worn long-sleaves and pants, no matter how hot it was out side. Now that she had both of her real legs Al had seen her wearing shorts out in public with Winry, though she still only wore long-sleaves unless she was at Winry's house getting repairs done.
Lately, however, Al noticed she was more stand-offish than what was normal for her. That meant she'd been down right grumpy for days in a row. Luckily Al knew when to give her space and keep comments to himself. He figured it was the current assignment Mustang had given her, which consisted of traveling to some backwater town to study a new mineral that had been uncovered in a mine not far from it. She had to report her findings every three weeks, and it wasn't enough to simply have it sent by mail. The General had ordered her to hand in the reports in person. Currently they were heading back to Central to do just that.
Before she'd left for Central Ed had paid a visit to Winry in Risembol since it was on the way. It had been for normal maintenence. They had talked during the process like they always did, but near the end their conversation had deviated down a topic Ed would rather not have discussed, even with her child-hood best friend.
Winry had just finished messing with the finger joints when she'd asked a question out of the blue.
"Hey, Ed?" Winry said while putting the oil canister away.
"Have you ever... you know...," She trailed off.
Ed turned in her seat to look at her," Have I what?"
"You know... done... that." She tried to illuminate by making an odd gesture with the wrench she was holding.
The alchemist raised an eyebrow at her," Just say it instead of being cryptic, or we'll be here all day."
Winry sighed in frustation," Well if you want me to be blunt. Fine. Have you ever masturbated?"
Ed blushed slightly," W-why... would you want to know that?"
She stared down at the wrench in her hands," Because... you've been acting all hot and bothered lately."
"W-what are you talking about?" Ed sputtured.
The blonde sighed again," Come on, I've known you what.. all my life pretty much? You act as if I wouldn't notice. You practicaly maimed the last guy who approached you. Al told me about it."
Ed looked away and muttered the word 'traitor' under her breath, some agitation replacing the embarrasment," Yeah, well he had it coming to him."
"Not really, that's the thing, Ed, he didn't deserve it."
She huffed and scowled, "Sure, put the blame on me."
The alchemist turned further away from her. She heard Winry walk over to her, but refused to look up when she came into view.
"So... tell me... who is he?"
"I don't know what you mean," She crossed her arms over her chest.
"Hm..." Winry began to walk in slow circles around her, tapping one end of the wrench on her chin," Let me see if I can guess then..."
"Is it... no... not him.. hmm... is it...," She paused in her steps," Ohhh..."
Her arms were trembling with the force of trying not to explode and yell at the mechanic.
Winry put her hands on her hips and grinned," I think I know."
The mechanic giggled," I'll probably be right too."
"Yeah, sure you will."
Winry stood in front of her, a look of triumph on her face, "It's that General, isn't it?"
Ed nearly fell over in shock, she really hadn't expected her to guess correctly.
Her friend laughed," Now I know why you're so tense, he's your first crush right?"
"No, I don't like him at all," Ed growled, face red." He pisses me off."
"Well, crushes are purely physical attraction for the most part. It has nothing to do with whether you get along with him."
Her lips set in a hard line," I'm not attracted to him."
"Denying it isn't going to change the fact that it's true, Edith."
Ed shot up from her seat," Don't call me Edith, you know I hate my name!"
"I'm going to, because you need to at least admit it out loud."
Fullmetal crossed her arms again," I admit to nothing."
She felt her eye twitch.
A growl rose up from her throat.
Just as she was about to lunge the door opened and Al peered in," Are you two almost done? We have to get going if we're going to catch the train."
All current thoughts halted as she remembered why she was in a bad mood to begin with. Her arms dropped loosely to her sides.
She nodded," Yeah we're almost done."
"Okay, all our things are down stairs in the kitchen," With that Al closed the door. She listened as the sound of Al's foot steps disappeared down the hall.
The room remained silent for a moment before Winry spoke," So, what are you going to do?"
"Well, I was thinking, if you could get a picture of him, or find a guy who resembles him..."
Ed gawked," What? Are you insane?"
"Come on, it's going to stay difficult to be around him if you don't do something about it."
"I think I can manage, thanks."
Winry sighed," You're so stubborn."
"You're one to talk."
She went to grab the doorknob but the mechanic blocked her path.
"Damnit, move," Ed glared up at her friend.
"When you get there, afterwards I want you to call me and tell me how it went."
She frowned,"No way."
"Yes, you're going to call me, so then I can talk to you more about it, since you have to leave now," The mechanic said in a dangerous tone.
Ed sighed, once Winry decided something and told you about it, it was impossible to change her mind.
The mechanic gave a bright smile and stepped aside,"Talk to you then, have a nice train ride."
"Bye, Winry," She mumbled.
Al was waiting for her down stairs, smiling as usual. He picked up his suitcase, but not the other, knowing that Ed always carried her luggage herself.
Ed forced a smile," Yeah, let's go."
A/N: I couldn't leave her name as 'Edward' since in the FMA world none of the female characters seem to have names that are used for males. Their names are all very feminine, so I figured changing it would make more sense. I just picked the first name that began with 'Ed' and that was unappealing that I could think of.