How you doin', everyone? This is my first Yu-Gi-Oh! GX fic! I thought I would move on to the next generation, so here it is. I hope you enjoy! I know, I'm supposed to be working on another humor fic, but I just thought this one up and was really inspired to do it.
F.Y.I., lots of characters will be out of character. Just a forewarning.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh GX. Wouldn't it be cool if I did, though?
The prestigious Duel Academy. Owned by the Kaiba Corporation, it was the school for the duelists elite. Children from all around compete to be the next King of Games, following in the footsteps of Yugi Muto.
The Slifer Red dorm. It wasn't one of the more flashy dorms, like Obelisk Blue and Ra Yellow, but… ok, it wasn't very flashy at all. It looked like a run down, roach motel by the ocean, intended for those students who had no potential. But it was considered a garden… in a pile of weeds, a flower would grow in the middle.
This flower was Jaden Yuki, one of the newest students who was assigned to the Slifer Red dorm. As the new day started, he was fast asleep, snoring loudly, with his left foot and arm dangling off the bed.
Jaden continued to snore, this time with drool running down his cheek to his pillow.
"Jaden! Wake up!"
Still, Jaden didn't budge. Syrus shook his head. He leaned in close and whispered, "Jaden… I challenge you to a duel."
Suddenly, Jaden popped out of bed unexpectedly, duel disk already activated, and ready to duel!
"GET YOUR GAME ON! WHOS MY OPPONENT?" Jaden said.
Syrus shook his head.
"Aw, Sy, its just you. I thought you said I had an opponent." Jaden said in disappointment.
"Well I had to say something to get you out of bed? Don't you know what…"
"BED! That's right! I was sleeping!" Jaden said as he jumped back in the bed.
"What the… what's wrong with you! Don't you know what time it is!" Syrus asked.
"Yep. Time for me to be dreaming." Jaden said.
"No! It's 8am… Jaden, were going to be late for class!" Syrus said in a panic.
"Don't worry, Sy! I'm sure we can… OOOOOHHH SHIT!" Jaden said.
He jumped out of bed, grabbed his pants, shirt, and red blazer, and ran into the bathroom.
"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" Jaden shouted the whole way into the bathroom.
"Uh…" Syrus said. The word, "fuck" could still be heard as Jaden was getting dressed. It suddenly stopped for a brief moment.
"… Hey Syrus… you're my best friend, right?" Jaden said.
"Of course!" Syrus replied.
"Great! Bring me my underwear… I forgot them!" Jaden said.
Syrus had a pale look on his face. "… SEE YOU IN CLASS, JAY!" He quickly ran out the dorm room door.
"HEY SYRUS, THAT'S FUCKED UP, MAN!" Jaden said from behind the door. He quickly ran out of the bathroom, grabbed a pair of boxers out one of the drawers, and ran back inside. 20 minutes later, he was dressed and ready to start the day. He climbed to the very top bunk and started drumming on the center of what looked like a large lump in the bed.
"HEY CHUMLEY! WAKE YOUR FAT ASS UP! WE GOTTA GET TO CLASS!"
Chumley suddenly sat upwards. "Dude, cut that shit out! I told you about that!" he shouted.
Jaden laughed so hard, he almost fell off the ladder. "Sorry dude. You know I couldn't resist. Anyways, lets go. Field Spell Class. Now.'
Chumley laid back down and buried himself in the covers again. "Nah, that's cool. I'm already failing that shit anyways."
Jaden jumped to the floor. "Suit yourself. That's why your beached whale lookin' ass hasn't made any progress… all you do is lay in bed, eating grilled cheese sandwiches. I bet your big ass is eating one right now."
"FUCK YOU!" Chumley said. He apparently sounded like he was stuffing something in his mouth. "Get to class before I get out this bed and sit on you!"
"… No thanks… see ya later." Jaden said.
And with that, he dashed out the door, down the stairs, and down the dirt road towards Duel Academy. He walked through the classroom filled school, to the class where he was supposed to be. "Hmmm… only 45 minutes late… I'm early!" Jaden said with a smile.
He opened the door and walked inside. Dr. Crowler stopped in mid-lecture to stare Jaden down. As usual, whenever he saw Jaden, his blood immediately began to boil.
"Well would you looky what we have here, class! Yet ANOTHER Slifer Slacker late as usual… and no surprise, its… whats his name... Judai… Jason…" Dr. Crowler laughed.
All the Slifers sulked from embarrassment. A majority of Obelisks and Ras were laughing.
"Its JADEN… and you know it…" Jaden said as he walked to his seat.
"What's this? Back talking the teacher?" Dr. Crowler said.
"Get my name right and I wont have to back talk you… MR. Crowler.
Dr. Crowler began to growl.
"That's DR. CROWLER, YOU SLIFER SLACKER! YOU KNOW I HAVE A PHD IN DUELING!"
"OH YEAH! Sorry dude, I forgot… I mean, the way you over dress and those purple lips… I thought you were an ugly woman. My bad, man." Jaden said as he walked back to his seat. Everyone in class started to laugh.
Crowler got so mad, he ripped a hole through his sleeve with his teeth. "SO YOU WANT TO BE A COMEDIAN, EH? WELL GUESS WHAT? THAT'S EXTRA HOMEWORK FOR ALL YOU SLIFER SLACKERS! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT!"
All the Slifers groaned.
Chazz Princeton quickly stood up. "Hey… why does the Chazz have to suffer because of that damn Jaden! I should be back in Obelisk Blue, dammit!"
"CHAZZ, SIT DOWN!" Dr. Crowler shouted.
Chazz sat down. Jaden made his way up the stares and through the aisle, trying to get to his seat next to Syrus and in front of Chazz.
"Bite me... get bent… up yours… eat shit…" Jaden said as he made his way to his seat, responded to all the angry jesters of his fellow Slifers.
Once Jaden sat down, Chazz reached downward and slapped him atop his head.
"Ow! Bitch!" Jaden said.
"Fuck nut! That's for getting us more homework!" Chazz said, angrily.
The class went on. Once the bell ran, all the students began to pile out of the classrooms.
Dr. Crowler stood at the door, watching them leave. "Don't forget your assignments! I want a 2 page report on how Field Spell Cards can be useful in battle… EXCEPT FOR YOU SLIFERS! YOU SLIFERS HAVE 10 PAGES!"
Once again, the Slifers groaned and began to complain as they left the class.
Jaden, Syrus, and Chazz were the last ones out. Dr. Crowler shook his head as he watched Jaden leave out the corner of his eye. "I can't believe they let a drop out like HIM in our beautiful school!"
"STOP LOOKIN' AT MY ASS, CROWLER, YOU DAMN CHILD MOLESTER!" Jaden shouted as he left the class.
"Jaden!" Syrus said.
"Cut that shit out, bitch! You're gonna get us more homework!" Chazz said.
"I'LL GET YOU, JADEN YUKI! I'LL SEE TO IT YOUR ASS GETS EXPELLED!" Crowler shouted from the classroom.
"You know, he says that shit at least 3 times a day, but I've yet to see him try anything." Jaden laughed.
"Whatever, fuck that fruitcake. I'll just pay some dorky ass Ra Yellow bastard to do my work for me. It pays to be rich!" Chazz said.
"Yeah… anyways, it's the weekend, guys! T.G.I. Friday, baby! What are we gonna do? Do I hear duel the entire weekend?' Jaden said.
"You wish. The Chazz is going to get him some hot ass this weekend!" Chazz said, grinning like a madman.
"Whoa… can I go with you?" Syrus said.
Chazz turned and looked Syrus up and down. "Shit no! You'll just… wait… Yes… yes you can."
Syrus began skipping forward. "YAY! I'M GONNA GET LAID! I'M GONNA GET LAID!" he sang.
"Yeah… The Chazz'll need someone to 'jump the grenade' as they say… in case there's an ugly friend… hahaha!" Chazz thought.
"Well hey, I'll see you guys back at the dorm." Jaden said.
"Where are you going, bitch?" Chazz asked.
"To the computer lab, cum catcher. I'll see you later." Jaden replied as he walked away.
"Computer lab? You're too stupid to work a computer! You probably don't even know a hard drive from a ram… besides when you're in bed with Dr. Crowler!" Chazz laughed.
"Oh fuck you, you dirty bitch!" Jaden said as he walked away, holding his middle finger up.
Later that day…
Chazz, Syrus, and Chumley relaxed in their Slifer Red dorm room. Jaden still wasn't back.
"This is so GAY! HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO SIT IN THIS STANK ASS ROOM ROTTING WITH ALL YOU SLIFERS!" Chazz complained.
"I wonder what happened to Jaden." Syrus said.
"His dumbass probably couldn't figure out how to turn the damn monitor on." Chazz said.
Chumley sat in bed getting grilled cheese sandwiches.
There was suddenly a pounding on the door. "That's got to be him." Chumley said.
"See? He's so slow he forgot how to open a damn door. Hey Syrus. Go let that idiot in!" Chazz said.
Syrus got up and walked over to the door. As soon as he unlocked it, the door flew open, catching poor Syrus in the face! Next stormed in a VERY pissed off Alexis Rhodes. She immediately stormed over, grabbed Chazz by the collars of his black trench coat, and threw him against the wall.
"WHAT THE… WHAT'S WITH ALL THE HOSTILITY?" Chazz shouted.
"I'm going to say this and only say it ONCE… stop calling my cell phone late at night, bitch!" Alexis said, really pissed off.
"I… I don't know what your talking about!" Chazz said, obviously trying to play dumb.
"Here's a free stalking tip, asshole… next time you wanna call me and hang up, you might wanna pick a phone booth I CANT SEE FROM MY FUCKIN' DORM ROOM WINDOW!"
"Uhh…" Chazz said, dumbfoundedly.
"Yeah, I saw your dumbass hang up and run away! Thinking your slick!"
Chazz gave up and started to grin seductively. "Oh come on… you know you want to 'Chazz it up' with the Chazz…"
"No, I DON'T want to 'Chazz it up' with the Chazz!" Alexis shouted. "You think this shit is funny? Don't make me change my damn number! I'll call Mrs. Fontaine on your stupid ass if I have to!"
Chazz took Alexis' hands off his jacket and waved his hands in front of him. "Ok, Ok, You don't have to bring her into this! I wont call you anymore… but you KNOW you want the Chazz! I see the way you look at…"
Alexis slapped Chazz so hard he fell backwards. She then walked over to Syrus.
"Hey, Syrus! I was hanging out with your brother not to long ago!" Alexis said, in her normal, happy voice.
"Oh wow!" Syrus said.
"So… where's Jaden?" she asked.
"I think he's still at the computer lab… wanna go find him?"
Alexis looked up, as if she was thinking. "Um… sure. I'm supposed to go to the salon with Jasmine and Mindy, but I'm sure they wont mind if I'm a little late… but YOU!" Alexis pointed down at Chazz, who was still on the ground, looking like he was trying to look up her short skirt. Lucky for him, Alexis didn't notice that.
"You stay the fuck away from me! If you so much as TOUCH me, I'll rip your arm off and bitch slap you with it! You hear me?" Alexis shouted.
"Yeah, yeah… I hear you…" Chazz said.
As Syrus and Alexis started for the door, Jaden busted in. He held an armful of papers to his chest. "OK! IT TOOK ME A WHILE, BUT I DID IT! 1000 COPIES OF MY FINEST PIECE OF ART! Well, ok, a student from Ra Yellow came to help, but ITS DONE!" Jaden said happily.
"… What's done?" Alexis asked.
"THIS!" Jaden said as he handed one of the papers to Alexis.
"OH MY GOD!" She shouted, trying not to laugh.
Syrus looked at the picture, followed by Chazz, then Chumley. Chumley looked back at Jaden. "Dude… you know you're gonna get your ass busted for this!"
The picture was of Dr. Crowler sitting on top of Slifer the Sky Dragon, as it he was riding it horseback, with a rainbow over the whole picture and a star lite sky, that says, "DR. CROWLER LOVES SLIFER RED".
"Jaden… you're not going to put those up around the school, are you?" Syrus asked.
"HELL YEAH I AM! I'll go grab Atticus and Bastion and by tomorrow morning, these pictures will be all over the island!" Jaden laughed.
Alexis shook her head. "Always messing with Crowler… do you have some kind of issue with transvestites?"
"Nope. Just him." Jaden said.
"That's a damn lie!" Chumley said. "You remember the time we went to the town, and there was that gay pride march going on?"
was a gay pride march going on in the street. (To prevent
disturbing mental images for both me and you, the readers, the
description has been edited.)
(To prevent disturbing mental images for both me and you, the readers, the description has been edited.)
Men marched through the streets saying, "WE'RE GAY! WE'RE GAY! BUT THAT'S O-KAY!"
Suddenly, Jaden ran out in the middle of the street with a bullet belt going diagonally across his chest and a large machine gun locked and loaded.
"Say your prayers, homos." He said. Without warning, he opened fire. Frightened people ran throughout the streets, screaming. Jaden let out a kamikaze yell as he unloaded on every thing gay in sight.
Suddenly, cops drove up by the dozen and surrounded him. Jaden lowered his gun. "OUTTA HERE!" He shouted. He activated his duel disk and slapped down Elemental Hero Avian. "OK AVIAN! GET US OUT OF HERE!" They took flight, fleeing the scene of the crime.
Syrus and Chumley came out of a card shop and saw dead bodies lying everywhere.
"What the fuck?" Chumley said.
Syrus looked up just in time to see Jaden fleeing out of sight on top of Avian. "… Chumley… I know you may get a heart attack… BUT RUN!" he shouted as he took off.
Chumley ran after him. "DAMMIT SY! YOU KNOW I HATE RUNNING!"
"Yeah… I'll never forget that! You made me run!" Chumley shouted.
"That's probably the only exercise your fat ass has gotten ever since I met you." Jaden said. "ANYWAYS, I'll be back later… THEN WE'LL DO SOME SERIOUS DUELING!"
Syrus sat on the bed. "I want no part of this."
"YES YOU DO, LITTLE BUDDY! LETS GO!" Jaden said as he grabbed Syrus' arm.
"NO, JADEN, NO! LET ME GO! I DON'T WANNA!" Syrus shouted.
"This I've gotta see!" Chumley said as he left the room.
"I'm going too!" Chazz said.
"You mean you actually WANT to partake in this silly prank?" Alexis said.
"Fuck no! Chumley just farted!" Chazz said, running out the room.
Alexis held her mouth as she ran outward too.
The time had come for a prank against everyone's favorite over dressed teacher, Dr. Crowler.
Be with us next time as Jaden hatches a plan on his most hated rival! This is a one shot story, so let me know what you think, and if I should continue it. I've got a LOT of ideas for this story!