Disclaimer: We own nothing, but the characters Adrienne Hart and Nikolas Karov are ours.

A/N Tinuviel Undomiel: This little gem came to me while watching America's Sweethearts, one of our favorite movies. I hope all of you can forgive John in this chapter, he comes to his senses later on. Anyways, enjoy, I think you'll be laughing the entire time.

A/N Nerwen Aldarion: I love this funny, cute and all out different story, my TeylaRonon stuff comes in a short while but look carefully and maybe you'll figure some stuff out.


And That's Show Business

Chapter 1: Lights…Camera…Action!

When a country gets word that a high budget movie is going to be filmed everything goes into chaos. Everything must be set to greet the actors, fans and paparazzi have to be booted out of the way so sets can be erected and the crew and assistants have to acquire everything the actor's need to make them comfortable. That is exactly what the assistants to Adrienne Hart and John Sheppard were doing amidst this anarchy.

Elizabeth Weir—Adrienne's assistant—held her cellphone in one hand and three shopping bags in the other. None of the items in the bags belonged to her. "You are telling me you don't have Aquarius Diet Raspberry Flavored Carbonated Water? Oh, you've never heard of it. Listen I need you to find some or I'll have an angry actress on my hands screaming for her French water."

Walking towards her was the second assistant, Teyla Emaggen, who was also talking on her cellphone, although for a much more urgent problem, "He is missing five pages of his script. I don't know how they went missing; it was your job to send the complete script in. Look, I was up all night with a sick baby, I am not in the mood for the blame game just send me the script."

Their lack of attention resulted in a collision where Elizabeth's shopping bags spilled all over the ground. "I'm so sorry," they both apologized at the same time.

"Trying to find a special brand of water no one's every heard of," Elizabeth offered as an explanation for the accident, "What's your excuse for your stress?"

"My son had a cold," Teyla explained, "I was up all night with him."

"You win," Elizabeth conceded, "How old is your son?"

"Three months."

"Yikes, you must be exhausted," Elizabeth said.

"I'm beyond exhaustion."

Elizabeth smiled and held out her hand, "I'm Elizabeth Weir, Adrienne Hart's cousin and personal assistant."

"Teyla Emaggen," she accepted the hand and shook it, "Personal assistant to John Sheppard, but no relation."

"Really? I was so excited when I heard he was playing the part of William, I'm a fan."

"Don't get to close, he's a ladies man," Teyla warned with a smile.

"I've heard of his reputation," Elizabeth assured her, "Would you like…" her cellphone interrupted her invitation to lunch, "Excuse me. No, the interview was scheduled for 4:00 not 5:00…"

Teyla watched her walk away and smiled at the brief acquaintance she's made. However, she didn't have long to think about it before her own cellphone rang. Yep, today was going to be long day.


Just when she'd finished one call, another one came in. Elizabeth let out a curse and quickly answered her phone, "Adrienne Hart's assistant. What do you mean it's missing? It's a Prada suitcase, how many are circulating at airports? Please, just find it as fast as you can. No I'll deal with it myself." Elizabeth hung up her phone and tempted to throw it towards the Caribbean. Instead she picked up a rock and flung in that direction. Her aim was good but her arm wasn't. The rock went sailing through air and pinged off the helmet of a motorcyclist that had just parked his bike.

She swore again and ran towards her victim. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't aiming at you. You see I wanted to throw my phone, but my life practically depends on the thing and…" she trailed off the minute he took off his helmet.

"You know I could press charges for assault," John Sheppard said jokingly.

"You're…you're…" she stuttered.

"John Sheppard, I see you recognize me," he said, "how about we forget the charges and you can make it up to me with dinner, we could come back to my place and we could get some dessert." He grinned, hinting that he meant something else entirely.

"Are hitting on me?" she asked, regaining he composure.

"Maybe, are you flattered?"

"Possibly," she admitted, "this would be my first date with a movie star."

"I'm not really a star, just a regular famous actor."

"You don't even know my name, Joey Tribbiani."

"Then may I have the pleasure of it?" he asked.

"Elizabeth Weir," she said with a smile.

"Elizabeth, that's a pretty name."

"Thank you; I'm actually the assistant to Adrienne Hart."

"The girl that's playing Mary?" he asked.

"Yes, she's my cousin too."

"Are you trying to say no to my invitation?" he asked.

"No, I haven't decided yet."

"Come on, I'm famous, attractive and a very good conversationalist not to mention kisser, what's not to like?"

"Your reputation," she answered.

"Oh that," John said, "Well maybe it'll be like the movies, you'll be the girl that will tame the wild beast."

"Is that your line with every girl?" Elizabeth asked.

"Are you trying to make me beg?"

"I'll think about it," She said and turned towards the hotel. It struck her that he wasn't following, "Are you checking me out?"

John gave her a smile that made her knees go weak, "No, just enjoying the view."

"You're a sick, twisted man," she told him and walked away with a smile on her face.


John was still smiling over the encounter with Elizabeth Weir when he walked into his room to see a very angry Teyla.

"You're late," She snapped.

"You see I was on time but I met a beautiful…"

She rolled her eyes, "I don't care about the new woman you've found and I'm certainly not in the mood to hear about your latest exploit. So start coming on time because famous or not I will hurt you."

"Tughan was up all night again wasn't he?" John asked matter of factly.

Teyla sighed, "He had a cold and just wouldn't stop crying, I wanted to let Charin sleep, it was the least I could do after what she has done for me after…" Her voice trailed off, "It doesn't matter," She got back to business, "I've got your missing pages, Larry King called, he wants to talk about the latest Luke Striker film, and Mara called to say that she thinks you are vilest thing to ever walk the planet."

John raised an eyebrow, "That's better than Satan's spawn, that's what Eve…"

"Kate," Teyla corrected.

"Kate called me after we broke up."

"After you left her for Susan," Teyla finished.

"Yeah…so anything else?" John asked trying to change the subject.

"Oh yes, the director wants you to meet Adrienne Hart before shooting." Teyla told him.

"Fine," John said then grinned, "Her assistant was VERY nice."

Teyla groaned, "Oh no, you've claimed her as your next victim."

"Why do you call them victims?"

"Because they are," Teyla explained, "You say all the pretty things and get them kissing your feet and then you leave them in the dust."

"I show them a good time," John defended himself.

Teyla glared at him, "I've met her assistant, she seems like a genuinely nice person, perhaps you should think about pursuing something beyond just a romp in bed?"

John grinned as he walked out the door, "Where's the fun in that?"


After turning off her phone, Elizabeth went to her medkit and pulled out a bottle of aspirin. She took two with a glass of water, and rubbed her temples to relieve the headache. So far the only good part of the day was being asked out by John Sheppard.

His first appearance had been in a Luke Striker film, a famous science fiction film series starring Jack O'Neill. His roles had been small, a pilot named Derek Hazard who had assisted Luke Striker briefly in the film. However, every female above the age of twelve fell madly in love with him. They continued to bring him back, giving him bigger roles every time. The last Striker film he had costarred in and Elizabeth had enjoyed every minute he was in. To meet him in person was thrilling enough, but to have dinner with him was indescribable.

"Elizabeth!"

She groaned when she heard the voice of her cousin coming from the adjoining room, "Yes Adrienne?" she asked as she entered her cousin's bedroom.

Adrienne turned away from the mirror to look at her cousin. The two cousins were completely different in many ways. Elizabeth had dark brown curls, while Adrienne had long, lustrous raven locks that nearly fell to her waist. Her sapphire blue eyes trapped everyone and everything in her gaze and held a haughtiness in them that was unbeatable. Elizabeth had bright green eyes that were beautiful as well, but forgotten next to hers. Everything about Adrienne was sensual, something Elizabeth couldn't compete with.

"Where is my water?" Adrienne asked, "I need my water."

"I know, but they don't have it in the Caribbean," Elizabeth said calmly.

"What do you mean they don't have it?"

"It's an expensive brand and…"

"Find it, Elizabeth!"

She sighed, "Alright, I promise."

"Good," Adrienne turned back to her mirror to apply mascara to her long eyelashes.

"You have a meeting with the director and John Sheppard," Elizabeth told her.

"Who?"

"John Sheppard, he plays Derek Hazard in the Luke Striker series."

"You mean the one with Samantha Carter who beat me out for the part of Abigail Sanders?" Adrienne asked.

"That's the one, anyways; he's playing the part of Capt. William Davis and you're supposed to meet him in five minutes."

Adrienne let out a conceited sigh, "Whatever."

"I uh met him briefly in the parking lot, he's seems nice."

"Sounds dull," Adrienne left her seat and gave her cousin a critical eye, "What did you do to your hair?"

"Nothing."

"Oh, I guess that's the problem," she said, and picked up her purse, "So where am I supposed to meet this Sheppard person?"

"On the set, a car's waiting outside."

"Fine then, let's go."


John drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair and let out an exasperated sigh. The director took a look at his watch and went back to waiting. Leaving the chair, John paced for several seconds then asked Teyla, "Where is Adrienne Hart?"

"She'll be here any minute," She assured him.

"And you get mad when I'm late," he mumbled, and looked up when he heard footsteps.

"Are you John Sheppard?" the most gorgeous woman on the face of the Earth asked him.

"That would be me," he replied, "And you are?"

"Adrienne Hart," she held out a hand which he accepted, "I should have known, I'm a big fan. I love you in the Luke Striker series."

From behind her cousin, Elizabeth watched as John fell for Adrienne's Little Miss Sweetheart act. She knew then and there that there would be no date with him. John Sheppard had just joined the long list of men who fell madly in love Adrienne the minute they saw her. Life couldn't get any worse.


Treasure Most Sacred was a box office hit that reached the number one spot three days after it hit the theaters. Reporters begged for interviews and TV hosts sent invitations for appearances. Adrienne milked up every second of it.

"Did you enjoy working on this movie?" the eighth reporter of the day asked.

"Are you kidding, three months in the Caribbean, what's not to like?" Adrienne answered with a smile.

Elizabeth watched the interview from the side, but left to answer her cellphone, "Adrienne Hart's assistant."

"Elizabeth? It's me John."

Immediately her heart began to pound inside her chest, "John, I uh, I didn't expect you to call."

"Is Adrienne there?"

Disappointment fell on her in waves, "She's in an interview right now."

"Oh, can you ask her if she'll come to dinner with me?"

Elizabeth didn't say anything for several moments as she remembered how so close she had come to having dinner with him.

"Elizabeth?"

"Uh, sure, I'll ask her."

"Thanks, bye."

"Good-bye," Elizabeth hung up. Swallowing to relieve the lump in her throat, she wallowed in how unfair this was. Adrienne didn't even like him so why did he have to fall for her?

Elizabeth returned to the interview and caught Adrienne's eye and gestured her over.

"Excuse me," she told the reporter, "What?" Adrienne snapped.

"John Sheppard called to ask you out to dinner, what should I tell him?"

"Like I'd go out with him, just tell him I'm busy," Adrienne returned to the reporter, "I'm sorry, business."

"That's alright," she assured her, "I was curious, a lot of people have noticed that you and John Sheppard shared some incredible chemistry during the movie. Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter met on a set and fell in love, is something like that going on here?"

For a moment Adrienne thought about what the reporter just said, and then a smile spread across her features, "Yes there is something going on, as a matter a fact, we're having dinner together tonight."


Movie Magic

Adrienne Hart and John Sheppard have declared themselves an item.

People fell in love with rising stars John Sheppard and Adrienne Hart in their first movie together Treasure Most Sacred, a love story about a dashing pirate captain who falls in love with an elegant English lady. Rumors have been circulating about dinner dates, but in an interview together, they admitted that they were in a serious relationship.

Fans are thrilled with their relationship and look forward to watch this budding romance blossom.

Handcuffed Hearts

Critics praise Hart and Sheppard's latest movie

Everyone is raving about John Sheppard and Adrienne Hart's new movie Beyond the Call of Duty The movie is about Hillary Moore (Hart) who refuses to believe that her sister committed suicide. She enlists the help of Det. Kevin Reynolds (Sheppard) who is trying to fight away the ghosts of his past.

The chemistry between the two is astounding. According to sources, things are heating up between the two actors.

How the West was Fun

Box Office declares Hart and Sheppard Hollywood's Golden Couple

Theaters were packed when Adrienne Hart and John Sheppard's newest movie reached the big screen. Angel and the Devil has already been named the biggest movie of the year. John Sheppard plays Ryan McCormick, an outlaw named the Devil's Hand. He kidnaps Angel Stevens (Hart) and sends a ransom to her father, but falls in love with his captive.

According to the fans, they've still got it. People are crazy about them and anticipate their next movie. Sources say that Sheppard and Hart have recently moved in together.

Heartthrobs Heating Up

Newest Hart/Sheppard film reaches No. 1

Hearts Aflame has been adored by the fans and critics. The story features Kyle Matthews (Sheppard) a respectable firefighter who saves the life of Rebecca Anderson played by Adrienne Hart. Critics call it a classic love story.

Flames of love sure are growing between Sheppard and Hart and fans are dying to know: are wedding bells in the future?

Going to the Chapel

Adrienne Hart and John Sheppard announce their engagement

Fans go wild when John Sheppard and Adrienne Hart broadcast their engagement in a press conference. According to the interview, Sheppard gave her a three carat diamond ring bought at Tiffany's. A date has not been set as of this time, but the happy couple has already begun their plans for the wedding.

It has been announced that they will be in a new movie A Heart So Royal about a princess captured by a ruthless king and is rescued by a handsome knight. Filming begins in two months.


"Of all the titles we've seen this is definitely the cheesiest yet," Elizabeth announced to Teyla. They were busy getting Adrienne's bags from the cars and there were a lot. "Thanks for helping me."

"It's not a problem," Teyla told her.

"Is Tughan coming?" Elizabeth asked.

Teyla grinned, "Of course if I can't be there for his birthday he'll come to me."

"Oh yes his birthday, he's turning four now isn't he?" Elizabeth exclaimed.

"Yes, I still can't believe how much he's grown; time has gone by so fast."

"Yes it has."

"How are the wedding plans going?" Teyla asked.

"Oh wonderful," Elizabeth said sarcastically, "Adrienne wants a dress designed for her by some French guy and she wants real Italian silk for the bridesmaids gowns."

Teyla laughed, "At least you get to be the maid of honor."

"No because apparently red isn't my color."

Teyla looked down at the red t-shirt Elizabeth was wearing, "Is she color blind?"

Elizabeth laughed, "Actually I'm glad I don't think I could really congratulate the bride and the groom on such a 'special' occasion."

Teyla looked at her sympathetically, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah it's just a silly crush I'll get over it," She looked at the ground sadly for a moment but quickly changed the subject, "Did you hear that Nikolas Karov is playing the villain in this movie?"

"The Russian actor?"

"That's the one," Elizabeth told her, "Adrienne has an interview with him at two so you want a late lunch together afterwards?"

"Tughan and Charin are getting in at noon…"

Elizabeth brightened, "Oh great bring him, it's been so long since I've seen him."
"I know he asks about you all the time, he calls you 'Aunty Lisbeth'."

They reached Adrienne's room, "Thanks for the help," Elizabeth said.

"Don't mention it; I'll see you at two-thirty."


"Who am I meeting again?" Adrienne asked as she finished checking her makeup for the third time.

"Nikolas Karov," Elizabeth told her, "He's playing Dyrun."

"Oh right, is he German?"

"Russian."

"That is so cool."

Elizabeth was surprised, "Really?"

"Yeah, foreign guys are so interesting and really good kissers."

"Too much information Adrienne," Elizabeth said.

"You need a boyfriend, Elizabeth, when was the last time you went out?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Hello, because we're cousins and I like, care about you."

"Since when?" she muttered under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing," Elizabeth said as she spotted the approaching actor, "He's here."

Adrienne left her seat and flashed him a dazzling smile, "Mr. Karov, it's a pleasure to meet you."

The handsome blonde Russian gave returned the smile, "Please, Miss Hart, call me Nikolas."

Elizabeth saw the look and Adrienne's eyes and knew it spelled trouble.

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Room service arrived at 7:00 and Elizabeth enjoyed the break from the wedding plans and errands. She had enjoyed a lunch with Teyla, Tughan, and Charin but had to cut it short when Adrienne needed more toothpaste.

The adjoining door burst open just as she was about to take a bite of her Fettuccini. "I need you to zip me up," Adrienne turned around for her assistance.

Elizabeth eyed the blue satin dress and reached for the zipper, "I didn't know you had a date with John."

"I don't, it's with Nikolas."

"What!" Elizabeth exclaimed, "You're having dinner with Nikolas Karov?"

Adrienne smiled, "I know, isn't it great?"

"Does John know about this?"

"No."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Are you crazy?"

"Are you? You're engaged!"

"So?"

"So!" Elizabeth cried, "You are committed to him, you can't go out with other guys."

"It's just dinner, it's completely innocent," Adrienne assured her, "Geeze, you're so old fashioned, you really need to lighten up, it's no wonder you don't have a boyfriend," She looked at her watch, "I gotta go, he's waiting for me."

"Adrienne!" Elizabeth called after her but she was already gone.


Teyla was comforting Tughan with some hot cocoa after he woke up from a nightmare when there was a knock on the door to their hotel room. She opened it see a wide eyed Elizabeth who looked like she'd had a nightmare herself.

"Aunty Lisbeth!" Tughan called when he saw her, but Elizabeth didn't seem to hear him as she entered the room.

"Something wrong?" Teyla asked.

Elizabeth opened her mouth and a squeak came out.

"Did you lose your voice?"

She shook her head, "Adrienne…"

"Okay, is Adrienne hurt?" Teyla asked, "Wait that can't be it, then you would be celebrating, so what's wrong with Adrienne."

"Adrienne…dinner…Nikolas."

"Elizabeth I need you to snap out of this and tell me what is going on."

"Adrienne went out to dinner with Nikolas Karov," Elizabeth said.

"You mean on a date?" Teyla asked.

Elizabeth nodded, "I left my room to pick up some of Adrienne's dry cleaning and when I got back I heard noises coming from her room. Loud noises, as in headboard thumping noises, as in Adrienne screaming 'Yes, yes, yes!' and…"

Teyla had covered Tughan's ears with her hands, "Elizabeth, there is a four year old boy listening."

"I'm sorry," she apologized, "It's just, I don't know what to do. Do I tell John that Adrienne is currently screwing the Russian costarring with them?"

"I don't know," Teyla said.

"What do you mean you don't know!"

"It's usually John that's the unfaithful one not the other way around," Teyla said, "and he really does love her, he hasn't strayed.

"How could she do this?" Elizabeth wondered, "John is a wonderful guy, who loves her and would do anything for her. How could she not see that?"

"You know her better than I do, Elizabeth, she's a horrible woman."

"That's an understatement!" Elizabeth exclaimed, "She's a…!"

"My son is here, remember?"

"Can I stay here?" Elizabeth asked, "I don't want to hear…them."

Teyla nodded in understanding, "Alright, we'll figure out what to do later."


Breakup of the Century

It's Splitzville for Hollywood's Golden Couple

Word has finally gotten out that John Sheppard and Adrienne Hart have broken up.

While filming their latest movie, A Heart So Royal, Hart began an affair with costar Nikolas Karov. It is unknown when exactly it began, and neither one was willing to comment on it.

According to Sheppard's agent, Rodney McKay, John Sheppard caught his fiancé and Karov in bed together after she canceled their dinner plans. He had gone to check on her when he discovered them in the throes.

A Heart So Royal received low ratings as fans were in tears when news of the break up came out. Adrienne Hart and Nikolas Karov are continuing their relationship. John Sheppard has retreated to his beach house in Hawaii to heal his broken heart.


A/N: Did you like it? Next chapter is coming soon.