Letters to Naboo
By Ticklesivory

Chapter One: The Beginning

TO:\Republic Space\Naboo\Theed Palace\Amidala,Queen
\214961\Third Month
FROM:\Republic Space\Chancellor Vessel, Sterling\Kenobi, Knight

Dear Padmé:

We're on our way back to Coruscant. It is a twelve-hour journey and so I have plenty of time to think. Which is actually not a good thing in this particular instance.

The ship, as well as myself, feels empty without Qui-Gon. I know he's not dead. There is no death. But he's no longer with me. I don't even feel him in the Force. Not like I thought I would.

I will have to meditate on this more.

As well as the many other issues I now face. Anakin being the most important.

I know he's just a child, but he frightens me. His training is a huge responsibility that I'm not sure I'm ready for, no matter what I promised my Master. However, I'm apparently the only one who seems willing to train him and he's too strong in the Force to be ignored.

It's all quite overwhelming, but as you so wisely advised on Naboo, I'll do my best to take things one day at a time.

The words you spoke to me following my Master's funeral and the kindness you showed, I will carry with me. You don't know how much your friendship means to me. How I will cherish the time we spent together in the gardens. The hours passed in conversation, never seeming to run out of anything to say. Talking to one another until the wee hours of the morning, not stopping until Captain Panaka came looking for you.

I know you were just being kind, but it was a great comfort to be able to talk to someone about my life with Qui-Gon and my concerns for the future.

I know that fear leads to the Dark side. I've heard that all of my life, but sometimes I can feel its icy fingers gripping me. Usually every time I think about training the boy.

What if I fail?

You are so strong and brave, Padmé. I wish I had half the courage you seem to possess.

I don't even have the courage to send this letter. It will probably stay in my datapad and years from now, I'll happen to find it and laugh at how ridiculous I sounded and what a fool I was to have developed feelings for the Queen of Naboo -- A beautiful young woman who helped me through a most difficult time in my life; whose friendship means more to me than she'll ever know; whom I doubt feels the same about me and I'll probably never see again.

In which case, let me say, thank you.

Thank you for your kindness, your compassion, your intelligence and understanding. But most of all, thank you for your friendship. I will never forget you.


TO:\Republic Space\Naboo\Theed Palace\Amidala,Queen
\214961\ Third Month
FROM:\Republic Space\Coruscant\Jedi Temple\Kenobi, Knight

Dear Padmé:

I've awakened from a most disturbing dream. I used to go to my Master about such things. I am hoping that putting my thoughts down will help, even though I know you will never read them.

The dream was haunting; filled with dark images and pain. You were there as well as Anakin, but he was much older. Maybe in his early twenties.

You were frightened, Padmé, and I couldn't help you. I tried, but every time I approached you, something would block my path. Something red. It was similar to when I was separated from my Master before he died. You were crying out my name and I couldn't save you.

I don't know what this means. I often have these types of dreams, which Master Yoda claims are Force visions, but I try not to rely upon them. The future is always changing.

But what I do know is that I was frightened for you and I wanted to protect you. I still do. As I did on Naboo.

If there is any truth to this vision, whatever is hurting you, I will stop it. I will not allow anyone or anything to harm you. I promise you.

And now I must go. It seems I am not the only one plagued with fitful dreams. Anakin is in the other room and appears to be suffering as well.

Take care, Padmé. Please take care. I don't want to lose you too.


TO:\Republic Space\Naboo\Theed Palace\Amidala,Queen
\214961\Fourth Month
FROM:\Republic Space\Coruscant\Jedi Temple\Kenobi, Knight

Dear Padmé:

Strange things happen in the middle of the night. Strange thoughts and feelings that hide in the light of day are surprisingly more obvious in the dark.

I have re-read my last two unsent letters to you and am disturbed. Not by what I have revealed, but by the truth of what lies beneath my admissions. Something I had not considered before.

I care about you. I care about what happens to you. I wonder where you are and what you are doing. And late at night, while I'm lying awake with my worries and concerns, I wonder if you're thinking of me. Do you miss me at all? Does my face haunt your dreams like yours does mine?

I don't know. And I don't know if I'll ever know.

I suppose it's up to the Force to decide our future. In the meantime, I will continue composing these letters to you, knowing that you will never read them, and sharing feelings that you may never return, and taking it all one day at a time.