Title: Walk Away
Summary: A bunch of snippets from different Han/Leia situations, centering around him walking away from their relationship. Pre-ESB
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Star Wars.
A/N: This was originally a songfic based on the Kelly Clarkson song "Walk Away." I posted it a loooong time ago, but fanfiction dot net took it down after they decided not to allow songfics any more. I'm not sure how much sense it makes, as I'm experimenting with putting up my old songfics without the lyrics. However, if you would like to read the full version with lyrics, leave a review with your e-mail address or PM me with your e-mail address (I need your e-mail address because the PM system doesn't allow for much formatting). Please tell me what you think of this, as the songfic original was one of my favorite pieces that I've ever done!
"So, Princess, what's going on with you and Solo these days?"
"What are you even talking about, Janson?" I fixed him with an ice glare.
"Solo. You know, that guy you spend every waking moment with?"
"I do not spend every waking moment with him."
"Oh, OK, the guy you spend every waking moment with when you're not in a meeting."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Was everyone on this base determined to talk about Han today? First Rieekan, then Luke, now Wes...
"Yes you do. You looove him." Wes fixed me with this big grin. I wanted to punch him. Really, I did.
"No, I do not!" I tried to calm myself down. Being emotional about this would only convince him otherwise. "Captain Solo and I share a purely professional relationship."
"Oh, sure you do." He leaned in close. "Since you're still handing out that story, I suppose you don't want me to tell everyone about that time I saw you almost kissing in the mess, then?" I swear he winked at me.
"I--we--stop it!" I spun around, moving towards the door of the supply bay where we'd been talking.
"Go for it, Leia." What? I turned around. "He feels the same way you do, everyone knows it. Go for it. Plus, you know, a lot of people have serious time invested in getting you together…"
"Shut up, Janson," I muttered, rolling my eyes and leaving.
I know she likes me.
She has to. Why else would she always get all red and flustered whenever I say anything suggestive?
She's actually modest, unlike you.
Well, why would she always fight with me so much? I mean, that's got to count for something, right?
She hates you. Duh.
But she always treats me differently than Luke. And everyone thought that there was something between them. But there isn't. NO. WAY.
So you tell yourself.
And, she's constantly trying to get me to join the Alliance, 'officially.' If she didn't care at all, why would she invest so much energy in trying to get me to join?
You waste their supplies. Remember the time you got dared by the Rogues to drink all the medical liquor?
It's instincts. I'm never wrong about women. I can tell when they're interested, and she is.
Then why do you have to come up with all these other reasons?
She has to like me.
I like her.
"What?" He spun around to face her again.
"Stop! Please?" She seemed like she really did want him to stop, but he couldn't let it go.
"Why? You want to taunt me some more? Has my inability to commit to anything spawned another cheap shot?" Why did she have to keep trying to get him to join that GODS DAMNED Alliance? He wasn't going to, no matter how much she waved the stupid slip in front of his face! End of story.
"Look, I understand about the debt--"
"No you don't! I'm willing to bet that you've never been in debt before in your life." She was royal! How could she ever understand debt like he did? What a stupid comment. He was about to stalk off, when she mumbled something at him.
"What was that?"
"I said, not with money. Just blood. You know, the blood of millions of innocents, shed by my hand, on the Death Star!" Her eyes were tearing up, and her voice was burning into him.
"You didn't do that."
"Yes, I did! I killed them. If I'd just told them about Yavin, then...then..." She stopped and gathered herself. "I know about debt, Captain Solo. Now sign the paper!"
He threw his hands up in the air. He could never win with this woman. "I already told you, NO!"
"Solo, you're going to have to sign up officially some time." Rieekan looked at the man across his desk. It didn't make sense. Why was he even here, still? He didn't want to jinx it, but what did the Alliance have that Han Solo could possibly find of interest?
"Look, General, I don't see what the problem is. I've been here two and a half years, and I haven't caused that many problems." He stopped for a moment, then grinned. "Well, not half as many problems as I could have. You guys need me, admit it."
"We do need as many good pilots as we can get. You…are a good pilot. We can definitely use you."
"So, as the man who has what you need, I should be catered to, I shouldn't have to cater to you."
"You and I both know it doesn't work that way, Captain. For one thing, there's Mon Mothma—"
"Aw, Mon's got other things to worry about besides me, hasn't she? Unless she's besotted with me…" He grinned again.
"Actually, the Supreme Commander is quite concerned with your shenanigans, and the fact that you are given all the benefits that our personnel are given—"
"Not true, I don't take board."
"—and you have still not signed up. We can't take care of you forever, Solo. We understand that you still have problems with bounty hunters and the like, but you cannot use the Alliance base as a hiding place."
"You…you think that's what I'm doing here?" He started laughing. This was not going well. The man still wasn't taking this seriously. How could he make him understand? "Of course I'm not here for protection! You guys couldn't pay me to be protected by you! The Alliance has all the security of Jabba's palace!"
"What are you here for, then?" Rieekan raised his eyebrow, eager to hear the man's excuse. He grinned that infernal grin again.
"Well, I'm not quite sure, but if it's what I think it is, then I'm sure as hell not telling you first."
"Hey, what's wrong?"
Wow, she looks awful, I think. But I realize she's only been crying a minute when she's able to brush away her tears so easily.
"Oh, nothing, Luke. See you later." She gets up, but I push her back down to where she's sitting on the ground and sit next to her. We need to talk.
"Remember, Leia, you can tell me anything. I'm here for you."
"I know. It's just…well, it's Han." Of course. Only he can get her this worked up. I've become used to the fact that they're obviously going to end up together. I used to have a little bit of a…crush on Leia, but it passed in time as I got to know her better. Now, if only Leia would open up to him a little, everything would right with the galaxy.
Except for, you know, the Empire.
"He was drunk, I think. He'd had a few drinks. He was being very…flirty. He said something vulgar, and I slapped him. He said I was heartless, then he changed his mind and said I had a heart of ice. Luke, I don't want a heart of ice!" She looks terrified. "I don't want to be cold, I just am."
"I know. Han does too, he just doesn't understand it sometimes."
"I wish he would just make up his mind and leave," she mumbles into her knees, which are drawn up to her chest.
"Don't say that. Do you know how lucky you are to have him?" She looks at me like I'm sniffing something still left in Han's ship from his smuggling jobs. "He cares about you so much. That's why he's still here."
"If Han felt like that he's tell me," she says confidently.
"Ever think that maybe he's just as scared as you?"
"Yeah, right." She gives a little laugh, but I can tell she's slightly shaken. "If he really felt like that, he'd say so. And he hasn't."
An empty bunk.
This bunk was made for two people. He'd made it for two people, and sleeping here alone didn't suit him at all.
Why couldn't he get her here, to this bunk? It had never been this hard with any other girl. Then again, he would have given up on other girls after a week, not two years. He'd tried everything he knew, that he could manage with her yapping at him all the time, and still nothing! So why hadn't he given up on her yet?
He'd decided she was the reason he wouldn't leave. Something about her drew him in, and now he couldn't leave.
He was never going to get her, and he was going to be stuck with this stupid Alliance forever at this rate. If he severed ties with the Alliance now, maybe he could still get out…
No way. He couldn't get out now, not without her. Well, that meant he was doomed to sleep in an empty bunk for a very long time…
"Yes, Your Highnessness?" Can we please not make this difficult?
"I thought you decided to stay." I have to stop talking to him. I don't think it's good for my mental health…
"Well, the bounty hunter we ran into on Ord Mantell changed my mind." Don't think I'm going to wait around for forever, Princess. I'm done with that.
"Han, we need you!" I shouldn't have put it that way…
"We?" I've got her now.
"Yes." What's he getting at?
"Oh, what about you need?" Ha, let's see her deal with this one…
"I need? I don't know what you're talking about." Don't push it, please, just don't push it…
"You probably don't." Oh, she knows.
"And what precisely am I supposed to know?" BACK OFF, Flyboy.
"Come on! You want me to stay because of the way you feel about me." OH, now she gets it! If she could only see her face right now…
"Yes. You're a great help to us. You're a natural leader..." Don't let him get the upper hand, Leia, or he'll never understand.
"No! That's not it. Come on. Uh huh! Come on." She's so damn stubborn! Why won't she just admit it?
"You're imagining things." I think I must be imagining things too…
"Am I? Then why are you following me? Afraid I was going to leave without giving you a goodbye kiss?" Why did I say that? Just what I didn't need to say…
"I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee!" He's so pretentious! How dare he think I even want to kiss him?
"I can arrange that. You could use a good kiss!" I'm out of here. I'm not taking any more of this…
"Artoo says the chances of survival are seven hundred seventy-five...to one." Threepio wasn't helping. The doors slammed closed, and Chewie let out a moan. Leia could only assume it was one of worry and anguish. Maybe even guilt. The Wookiee took his life-debt to Han very seriously.
"Actually, Artoo has been known to make mistakes...from time to time. Oh, dear, oh, dear." The droid went off, muttering to himself and Artoo. Leia didn't need to hear it right now. Luke and Han were both out in that cold right now…
Chewie walked her and Threepio back to her quarters. Leia wanted to ask him something, but she didn't want Threepio to hear. Then she just decided that it didn't matter anyway. It wouldn't matter if Han died in that storm…
"Chewie, why are you two still here? Han should have left long ago to pay back Jabba, but he stayed with the Alliance, and we've given him nothing but trouble." The Wookiee let out a deep growl and Threepio translated.
"He thought you knew."
"Well, I don't." She hoped Chewie wasn't going to be as cryptic as his best friend. But it turned out he was.
"Chewbacca says that he isn't at liberty to discuss Han's reasons, but if his instincts are correct, you should know."
"Oh, that helps me a lot…"
"Han, I'd like to talk about this."
"There's nothing to talk about, Leia." He stopped moving boxes around in the Falcon's hold for a minute. "I mean, what happened happened. There's nothing we can do about it except see where it goes, right?"
"It's important to me." She was so serious that he felt like he had to stop what he was doing and pay attention. "I just…I want to know if you're worth it."
"If I'm worth it?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing! She had been playing hard-to-get; he should be the one deciding if she was worth it!
"Well, you won't even commit to the Alliance!"
"Oh, not this again. Please, Princess, spare me your lecture." He turned back to the crates he was looking through.
"It's not like you've shown that you're dedicated—"
"I haven't shown I'm dedicated? I've gone on every single mission your damned High Council has deemed me worthy of—"
"I didn't mean to the Alliance. I know you'll fight for the Alliance. I meant to me. I don't want to start to…feel for you if you're just going to leave at the first opportunity. And I don't even know why you're still here, but I wish you'd make up your mind and just go." She almost ran out of the room, and he was left with his mouth wide open, staring after her.
That's it! Please review!