Title: The Highly Offensive Crossover Parody

Author: Mercy Me Its Ashley

Summary: A highly offensive crossover parody between MR and HP, including impossible parodies, Mary Sues, and probably some non-sense mpreg too.

Rating: M. This IS the 'Highly Offensive Crossover Parody' after all.

Pairing: Many.

Disclaimer: Maximum Ride and all characters involved belong to Mr. James Patterson, and Harry Potter and all characters involved belong to Ms. J.K. Rowling. As I am neither person, I take no ownership, nor am I making any financial gain from writing this.

The Highly Offensive Crossover Parody

Chapter I: In Which Angel Gets Another Power

"Damn." That was all Harry had to say after the Flock officially pwned, and yeah, they pwned, them for the fifth time that month. Because in everyone knows that internet slang is just way better than the English language.

Max smiled politely, which was code for 'Mmm-hmm, you know it, biotch!'

"So… um… next week?" Harry asked sheepishly, his eyes turned to the ground and his face turning red, after Neville did a face plant into the ground, but no one really cared, so they let him lie, and Harry went on staring at Max's chest, and Ron continued to have dirty fantasies about Draco Malfoy. Coincidently, Hermione was somehow managing to do both at the same time.

"MMPHAAAA!" Neville's mud filled mouth made a pathetic attempt to form the words 'I think I see a large, flying, furry things coming towards us.'

But, Neville being Neville, no one cared.

"Neville, shut up and get Trevor before you lose him again," Ginny rolled her eyes and pointed at the green toad hopping away. This was actually not Trevor, because last week Ron had accidentally squished Trevor, and replaced him with Trevor II. So, Trevor II was actually hopping away. Not like anyone actually cared, though. Because Neville is a very minor character, and he only tags a long for occasional comic relief.

"IFFFAANNOO!" This meant, 'No, really, listen to me.'

"Shut-" Ginny went in to pull the Trevor card again, but Iggy interrupted her.

"Guys, I think I hear Erasers," unfortunately, Iggy was equally ignored. Because, though he is one BAMF (for those not familiar, "bad ass mother fucker") of a character he is only used occasionally to listen to Max or Fang's problems on love, life, and all those cliché things like that. Usually these are accompanied by sound advice and understanding. Instead of Iggy's usual sarcasm. Because no one really cares. He's blind.

"UUUGAAAH!" No one was really sure what that meant, but their best guess was: 'What the fuck!'

"Erasers." Fang coughed, pointing up at the sky. But Max continued to ignore the three boys, she was the leader, and as the leader, she made the calls when Erasers were coming, and she hadn't seen-


Fang, being his very emotional self, suddenly began to cry. No real reason. Just the magic of the disease known as OOCness.

"We have company!" Max came in with a lame one-liner, as she shot into the air, ready to 'kick Eraser butt', as she always said.

But that wasn't really needed, because the second they came within 100 feet of Angel they exploded.

So did Trevor II, but no one really cared about that.

As they were being showered in bloody Eraser bits and frog guts, everyone turned to stare at Angel. No one spoke, because no one was really in the mood to be blown up at the time.

But, as we all know, Total has a big mouth, "HOLY F-"

Doggie parts everywhere.

Mmm-hmm. You know it, biotch.