Rating: M

Warnings: Yaoi (boy/boy), mentions of OMGSMEX, and two wirty dords.

Pairings: Kyouya/Tamaki

Genre: Romance, Humor

Word Count: 420

Disclaimer: See my profile for details.

A/N: In honors of International "Talk Like a Pirate" Day … AVAST!


It took quite a lot of ingenuity to surprise Ootori Kyouya, or so he had thought. But as it turns out, one just needed a lot of stupidity. But Kyouya had gotten past being surprised by Tamaki's stupidity (most of the time), so when the blonde dumped an armful of clothes in his arms and plopped a pirate's hat precariously on his head, he did nothing more than sigh and get changed. He knew what day it was, he was always on top of things and expected something like this.

Tamaki was already dressed in the typical swashbuckling gear; complete with an eye patch that no self-respecting pirate would go without, a compass that didn't point north (some obscure reference to a movie Tamaki was obsessed with), and an actual sword. The last one brought to mind images of decapitated young ladies and other such carnage, so he managed to persuade Tamaki that real pirates used rubber swords. (Don't ask how … his customers would be devastated to know how gullible Tamaki really was.)

So the Host Club was in full swing, with Hunny dressed in green feathers and a beak tied to his nose as he posed as Mori's parrot, the twins falling all over each other, and Haruhi (surprisingly NOT dressed as some form of wench, but as a kitchen boy) acting like herself, and Tamaki …

Hot breath washed over his ear before an entirely too seductive voice murmured, "Arr! I've sailed the seven seas, and you're the sleekest schooner I've ever sighted!"

While Kyouya pushed his glasses up his nose and pretended to be completely unaffected ("Your customers are waiting. Get back to work" "Aw, but 'kaa-saaaan!"), he couldn't deny the shivers that raced down his spine at the action.

Not five minutes later, heedless of Kyouya's first subtle "no", Tamaki sidled up to him a copped a feel while grinning madly and muttering some other pirate nonsense, causing Kyouya to snap and drag him into the nearest closet.

Damn whoever thought up of International "Talk Like a Pirate" Day, damn whoever told Tamaki, damn my horny lover, and damn my crumbling self-control! He thought wildly while pressing Tamaki against the door and kissing him senseless.

Though the brief twenty minutes in the closet made Kyouya rethink his opinion and decide that yes, this holiday did have some merit (he got to fuck Tamaki in a closet after all, and watching him try to function after that was almost as satisfying as the deed itself. Almost.)


So it's not that great. Big fricking whoop, I liked it!

Inspiration found on a website (www(dot)talklikeapirate(dot)com(slash)howto(dot)html) I highly suggest checking it out … it's awesome!

(Insert standard demand/plea/bribe/threat for reviews)