Before you read:
Before you read:The ending of this comes full circle. If you've forgotten the first part of the first chapter when they are in preschool, I highly suggest re-reading to get the full impact.
Authors Note At Bottom of epilogue.
Stan and I have been together for a year. I would say it's been the happiest year of my life, but that's too cliché to describe how it feels, and if I said it's been the most magical, well… then that would just be gay.
We had to work out the whole Cartman issue at first; I had been right that it bothered him more than he was letting on. He wasn't angry about it, but it made him insecure about my feelings toward him and Cartman both. All it took was a little reassurance and a few weeks observing mine and Cartman's interactions with one another to convince him I wasn't harboring romantic feelings for the other boy.
The worst part, the most painful part for me anyway, was the hint of mistrust lurking behind his eyes whenever he looked at me. Here I had been preaching the importance of abstinence to him for days, only to run off and have a spontaneous sexual experience with someone I had no feelings for whatsoever. He hadn't expected I'd ever do something like that, and he questioned for a while how well he really knew me.
He never said any of this aloud; never wanted to make me feel guilty about my bad decisions, but we were in sync with one another again, and I could read it all clearly in his uneasy smile and worrisome eyes. He watched me carefully with peers I interacted with, especially around those particularly attractive, and he studied my reactions to anything sexually relatable we came across. I refused, stubbornly, to walk on eggshells because of this. I made perverted jokes with Kenny, responded favorably at sexual issues, and even slung my arm around Butters shoulders and gave him a comforting pat when he was feeling down about failing a math test; all how I would normally respond to any of the given situations. It took a few weeks for the suspicion to evaporate completely from Stan's gaze, and soon I was getting nothing but the most genuine trust and affection from him again.
It's still amazing to me when I think about how quickly our relationship evolved from that point on. There wasn't even any trying, it just all happened so naturally. Originally I had thought there would be some sort of awkwardness to it; it's not every day you feel up the front of your best friends pants while he's devouring your neck. But through all the touching, kissing, and yes… I admit it, cuddling, I haven't felt the least bit out of place. If Stan was a good best friend before, his skills as a boyfriend are astronomical.
He can be completely cheesy at times, a ridiculously hopeless Romeo, like last month, when he pulled me out into the cold early morning, insisting we wait, but for what he wouldn't tell me. He just held me tight, keeping me warm in his embrace until snowflakes began to fall silently around us, and then brought my mouth into possession of his, moving his lips lovingly over mine.
"What was that for?" I asked, breathless and hot, when he finally pulled back.
He smiled at me, his Stan smile, and it lit up his whole face. "They say if you kiss when the first snow begins to fall, you'll hold their heart for another year."
It's absurd for him to think it could ever possibly belong to anybody else, but I didn't care; I just leaned forward and claimed his heart for my own.
The friendship aspect of our relationship is still in tact, and I'm eternally grateful for that. We still mess around, rip on each other, play video games, and have burping contests during the previews at the movie theater. We're still us, we're still guys, and we're still best friends. I think that's what makes our relationship so powerful.
Cartman only just recently got the balls to officially ask Wendy out, and they'll be celebrating three months together next week. It took Wendy a little time to get used to the fact of Stan and I, but I think it's what finally put an end to her desire to make something work with me. She let Cartman make a complete ass of himself for a while, neither perusing or resisting his advances, until eventually she fell for him all on her own. She makes Cartman happier than I have ever hoped to see him, and in the end I think it's all he's ever really needed. As for him and I, well… we've gone back to insulting each other at every opportunity, but it's not so harsh anymore, and we both share a deeper understanding of the other.
Butters found himself a girlfriend last spring; a quiet little blonde girl who'd moved here from Georgia. I'd worried at first about Kenny, but their friendship didn't waver, and the two of them are still stuck together like blocks of cement. Kenny has gone through a series of girlfriends himself, but none of them have lasted longer than a month. I told him it was because they were built on sex and it wasn't a sturdy foundation. He told me it was obvious that I was the girl in my relationship. But he's been looking at more respectable girls lately, and I think that he took my words to heart. Maybe one day he'll be lucky enough to find what I have.
… so it's almost Christmas again, and I don't feel as depressed as I normally do at this time of year. Stan has gone beyond the call of duty to make sure I don't feel left out. All his effort has made it impossible for me to feel anything less than happy.
Tonight he's dragged me along with him to Wendy's annual Christmas party, which I'd never gone to before. But today, no one cares a Jew is at a Christian celebration; in fact, everyone is happy I came.
Cartman and I exchanged smoldering glares when Wendy opened the door for us, his anti-Semitism showing wildly. But then Wendy giggled and pointed to the rather large mistletoe hanging above the doorway. Cartman rolled his eyes and dropped his threatening stance just as I turned for Stan and pulled him in for a forceful kiss.
As Stan led me inside and deposited me on the couch, I decided Christmas definitely had its perks, and watched his ass as he disappeared into another room.
One year, three weeks, and six days since we've become official, and we still haven't gone all the way. I want to, of course, and he wants to, but we'd decided in the beginning not to rush things. Stan says he doesn't want the first time to be planned like some script, and he doesn't want to do it just because we can. He thinks when the time is right we'll know it, and that it'll happen as naturally as our hands coming together and linking whenever we're together. And I think he's probably right about that.
I'm not saying it's easy, and we have come pretty close. It seems we go a little further all the time. At first, it was just a lot of kissing, but hands soon began wandering, and the kisses started wandering to other places besides lips.
The first time we actually "played" with each other, I had had a headache, and Stan had pulled me back against his chest on my bed, my head resting against his shoulder as he reach around to massage my temples, easing the pain with his tantalizing touches.
"Is it gone?" He asked after a long time, his voice quiet.
"Mmm-hmm." I hummed. My eyes were closed, and I was nearly asleep.
His hands wandered down to my neck, his fingers caressing the sensitive skin. They moved slowly down my body, pausing to scrape his nails gently over my nipples through my shirt. I gasped at the sensation, now fully awake. He liked my reaction, and his lips and tongue found the hollow of my throat as he repeated the motion a few times.
He hadn't yet touched me in such a boldly sexual way, and I was already getting hard. My hands fell to my sides, gripping the sides of his thighs, which were beneath my own. His hands ran down my stomach, brushing over the most sensitive areas; awakening every sexual cell in my body. His palm glided over the front of my pants several times, teasing the mound there, then sneaking back up and creeping beneath my shirt. I could feel his hardness pressing against my ass. He teased me this way until I was squirming and gasping, still sprawled out on top of him. His fingers came back to my pants, undoing my belt, the button and zipper, and then slid inside.
He was incredibly selfless that day, pleasuring me to release in that position. I repaid him the next day by a sudden attack and dry hump. I couldn't help myself; he was just being Stan, joking with me while we watched tv, messing around, but he didn't realize how sexy he was, how everything he did made me want to throw him on the ground and go at it. So that's what I did; grinding hard against him until both of our pants were a mess. There's nothing sexier than having Stan helpless and moaning in ecstasy beneath me. It's an incredible feeling to know I have the power to give him so much pleasure.
He returned from Wendy's kitchen back to where he'd left me on the couch; smiling with his hands behind his back.
"What are you hiding?" I asked.
His grin widened as he fell beside me, up against my side. He pulled out a gingerbread man, fully clothed in icing and handed it over. He wrapped both arms across the width of my shoulders, pulling me into him and bringing his lips to my ear.
"This year, you get to eat Christmas cookies with everybody else. They're all sugar free."
I looked at him then, staring into his eyes. "You did this for me?"
"It's always for you." He said. "It always has been."
I let myself melt under his gaze, then threw my arms around him. He hugged me back, and I peered down at the gingerbread man over his shoulder, my cheek pressed against his neck. It's incredible how he can make everything perfect with something as little as a cookie. He's always had that sort of magic inside of him.
I guess you could say that's why he's my hero.
Authors Note: OMFG! It's done! And it only took me forever! This is where I will make personal replies to every person who reviews, so any questions or whatever, now is the time to do it! I enjoyed writing this very much, and I am amazed at the reviews it's accumulated. I'm printing them. Lol
Important: I've reworked this into an original story and I found a professional editor who wants to take it on. This fanfic will be removed if I find a literary agent. Therefore, if you want this version, SAVE IT NOW.
THANKS FOR READING!