Author: Jinni (jinni. R
Disclaimer: All things "The Covenant" belong to Sony, et al.
Pairing: Kate/Pogue, Sarah/Caleb
Notes: I hate OFCs, ya know? But there might have to be a few in this fic just because of the lack of characters there were in the movie.
Spoilers: Obviously, there are spoilers for the movie "The Covenant"
Summary: Sometimes there are things that you can't forget, no matter how far away you run. And sometimes those things that you're trying to forget find you again.
In the wake of the Caleb's birthday – that night that should have been so special for the two of them, a first dance together – Sarah tried to forget what had gone so terribly wrong and concentrate on what was good about what she now knew about him and the others.
She tried to see the wonder in it. The way that they could do things that normal people couldn't do. Reid had gotten her car running the night of the bonfire, she found out. That was just the tip of what they could all do, especially when they put their powers together. Caleb, now Ascended, could do even more – so much more than the casual mending of his windshield that he'd done outside of the Putnam barn. They could all make objects move, just with their minds. They were pretty damn hard to hurt, harder even to kill.
It should have made her feel safe, being around them.
But at night, when she would shut her eyes and fall into sleep, she couldn't banish the nightmares; couldn't keep at bay what her subconscious had known was happening, even as she lay under Chase's spell. A fight, close enough that she could hear it, through the deep sleep she'd been under. Fire. Burning. Heat. So close that it licked at her skin. How she had managed to not even become singed, she didn't know and didn't want to question. It was a miracle, she reflected when she'd wake in the middle of the night, sweating and panting from nightmares that wouldn't leave her alone.
She had almost died.
Sometimes she woke Kate with her cries, before she could pull herself from the realm of slumber and stop herself from screaming out loud. Kate, who didn't even realize that Pogue and the rest of 'the Sons' are the reason for what happened to her. The reason that she almost died a horrible death, with spider bites covering her body. Kate, who kept on going, blithely unaware of everything that was around her when she was right there, in the center of the madness that was these boys' lives. Kate didn't know anything and Sarah wasn't going to be the one to tell her, no matter how much she would have liked to have had someone to talk to about it all.
Sarah wished she could go back to being unaware. She wished that her own horrors were nothing more than a fading memory of a short time spent in the hospital instead of the very real slide show in her head.
Sometimes she wished that she'd never met them. Any of them – not even Kate. She hated herself just a bit for that; for not feeling like she was up to the task of even being their friend.
But most of all, Sarah wished that she could forever be rid of that nagging sense of paranoia that persisted no matter what she did to try to get rid of it. Chase had grabbed her right from under Reid and Tyler's noses. He'd snatched her up, put her under, and then used her as a pawn in the murderous game he was playing with Caleb. It frightened her. Made her feel powerless.
She was powerless, she realized one night, after the nightmares had woken her yet again and she was sitting there, just trying to shake the feeling of burning from her skin. Chase could still be out there – it wasn't as if they'd ever found his body – and he could come for her whenever he wanted, just to get revenge on Caleb. That was just the type of thing that he would do, if she was honest with herself. He'd go after everyone that Caleb cared about.
So what was the answer, then, she asked herself. How did she go back to feeling safe? There had to be a way, but she didn't know it.
And then there was Caleb. So sweet, even still, but now his eyes looked haunted behind his easy smile. She wanted to ask if he felt different now, if the weight of his full powers had changed something inside of him. Wanted to… but didn't. Yet, every time she saw him Use, she felt a tremor of fear and searched his face for any sign that he was aging. If he knew what she was doing in those moments when she searched his face, he didn't say anything to put her mind at ease.
She wanted to talk to him about what had happened, too. But that was something else she didn't broach. Not because she thought that he'd get upset with her, but because the entire situation was upsetting. If she could keep him from having to think about that night by not mentioning her own insecurities and fears, then she'd do it.
Was there a future here, with him, she forced herself to ponder a month after everything had happened, as Reid's Ascension neared and a whole new set of worries descended on them all.
Could she be like Mrs. Danvers and watch the man she loved slowly fall into addiction and then damn himself every single time he Used? Caleb was strong willed, but Mrs. Danvers had told her once – over a cup of tea that Sarah was sure involved alcohol for the Danvers matriarch – so had his father been. They all thought that they could stave off the addiction and few did.
Could she, if it came to that, have a child with Caleb and suffer through the worry and fear all over again?
No, she couldn't. Maybe it was selfish, but she couldn't stick around with something to remind her everywhere she looked, not when there was no overall future to be had.
They had never said they loved one another and maybe that was for the best now.
So, as the first semester at Spenser came to a close, Sarah packed her bags and quietly slipped out, just as easily as she had come; only notes left to mark her exit from the lives of Kate and the Sons.
She'd have one semester back at her old public school and then… then she'd be off to college and far, far away from here and the pain that this place reminded her of.