The One With the Happy Gunther
by pari106

A/N: This is just something crazy I wrote because I could. It's my first Friends fic, so please review…but
be nice!

Summary: After Chandler and Monica's wedding, Ross suddenly disappears. Now, one year later, he
returns and the rest of the gang meet him at Central Perk.

The One with the Happy Gunther

[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone's there – Chandler and Monica are cuddling on the couch, Joey is sitting a
little bit away from Monica; Rachel is sitting in a chair. Phoebe is sitting at a nearby table with a little boy
in here lap (Okay, confession: I haven't seen many episodes between TOW Ross' Wedding and the 7th
season finale, so I know nothing about the triplets. But I'm assuming they're okay and – in my story, at
least – Phoebe did, in fact, name the boy after Chandler. Why? Because I like the idea. Anyways…)]

[Ross enters}

Everybody: Hey!/Ross!/Oh my God!/etc…

Ross: Hey everybody!/ etc…

[Group hug.]

Ross: (Noticing the little boy.) Hey, Phoebes, who's this little guy?

Phoebe: Oh, this is Chandler. You remember? Frank and Allyson's little boy?

Ross: Oh, gosh, yeah! Wow, he's really grown. Hey there, little fella!

[The child looks back and forth from Phoebe to Ross then rolls his eyes.]

Little Chandler: Whatever.

Phoebe: Ooh! Bad karma! What did aunt Phoebe tell you about that?

Little Chandler: (sighs) Sorry, Aunt Phoebe. (starts picking at the bad karma in the air as Phoebe helps)

Ross: Okay…

Monica: God, Ross, I can't believe you're home!

Chandler: Yeah, man, it's good to have you back!

Ross: It's good to be back! Oh, you guys!

[Another group hug. Emily enters.]

Monica: Emily!

[Emily goes to Ross's side, he puts his arm around her waist and they kiss]

Joey: (smiling)Hey, hey, hey…what's this?

Ross: Emily and I are back together!

Everybody: What?

Emily: We're back together! Married! See?

[Shows off her wedding ring]

Emily: Isn't it wonderful?

Chandler: Well…yeah, but…what happened? I mean, I thought…

Ross: Yeah.

Emily: But that's over now. Ross and I have worked out everything that happened in the past…and now
we're together again. And happier than ever!

Ross: And in another 8 months Ben is going to have a baby brother or sister!

Rachel: Wow!

Monica: I'm going to be an aunt again!

Chandler: I'm going to be an uncle! Come here…

[Yet another group hug]

Little Chandler (mid-hug): Uh…Aunt Phoebe?

Phoebe: Yeah, honey?

Little Chandler: I can't breathe!

Everybody: Oh!

[hug dismisses and Phoebe coddles little Chandler. Everybody sits down.]

Ross: So, Rachel…

Rachel: Hmmm?

Ross: Are you…okay with this? I mean last time…

Rachel: Oh! Oh, that! No! I mean, yeah. Yeah, I'm okay with it. That was a long time ago! I've moved

Emily: Are you sure? Because…

Rachel: No! No, I'm fine. In fact…(holds up left hand, revealing her own wedding ring. Ross and Emily
gasp) Yup! I'm married, too!

Ross: What? (Looks around. Everybody nods.) You're married? Wow…just, wow! Congratulations!

Emily: Yes, congratulations, Rachel!

Ross: To who?

Rachel: Well…you remember at Chandler and Monica's wedding…that whole baby thing?

Ross: Yeah?

Rachel: Well, it turns out…Monica wasn't pregnant.

Ross: Yeah…

Rachel: I was.

Ross: What?

Emily: Oh, Rachel!

Rachel: Yeah. I had a little boy. I'd have brought him to meet you, Ross, but it was his nap time, and you
know how babies get when they're sleepy…and I figured you'd be around a while, so…

Ross: Oh. Oh, yeah, of course. In fact, Emily and I are planning to move to New York.

Monica: That's great!

Chandler: Yeah!

Joey: Yeah, dude, but why did you leave in the first place? I mean, you didn't tell anybody where you
were going…you haven't written or called…(pouts) That hurts, man.

[Chandler pats Joey on the back, Monica pats his knee.]

Ross: Yeah, Joey…guys, I'm sorry. It's just…you know, Chandler, Mon, you guys just got married. I
thought you were pregnant. I just kept thinking about my own marriage…

[Phoebe coughs, not so subtely. Ross gives her a look.]

Ross: My own *marriages*…and I just…I felt empty, you know. Here your lives were getting so…full.
Getting married, having a baby. And every time I tried having that for myself my life just got emptier and

[Emily cuddles him.]

Ross: You know, I have Ben. But it's just not the same. It's always Ben living with Mommy and
Susan…and going to stay with Daddy. No "and" there. And I was starting to feel like there never would
be. And the one time when I really felt like that might happen…was with Emily.

Phoebe: So you went looking for Emily?

Emily: Well… not at first.

Ross: No, I just…went. Travelling around, trying to…you know, "find myself".

Joey: Yeah…what does that mean, anyway?

Ross: Hell if I know. And once I realized that…I just couldn't take my mind off of Emily again. So I
went looking for her.

Emily: And he found me! And…well, the rest I suppose you can guess.

Monica: Wow…

Ross: Yeah…But, hey, enough about that right now. What about you, Rachel? Who did you marry?

Rachel: Well…

[Smiles over at Gunther, who is wiping the counter, looking absolutely thrilled. He smiles back and waves,
so overjoyed he's practically dancing around. Ross notices and just gets a confused expression.]

Ross: Well?

Chandler (finally): Gunther….Ross, Rachel married Gunther.

Ross and Emily: No way!

Rachel: Way.

Ross: What…How…Gunther?!

Rachel: Hey! Watch it, mister! That's my husband you're talking about. (Sends a meaningful look
Gunther'' way.) And we couldn't be happier, could we, baby?

Gunther: No we couldn't, honey! (Sends a little teary-eyed thanks heavenward)

Ross: Well…that's great! Wow! But…how?

Monica: Well, when Rachel found out she was pregnant she was upset…

Rachel: Of course. Being single and everything. Divorced. Like you, I really took Chandler and
Monica's wedding pretty hard that way.

Monica: Oh, honey! (They hug)

Joey: And you know Gunther's always been crazy about her…

Rachel: Yeah. (sighs dreamily) And I just…got tired of always brushing him off, I guess. I agreed to give
him a chance. And you can't believe how happy I am that I did!

Emily: Wow…it seems like a lot has happened in a year.

Phoebe: Yeah! And, oh, Joey made a movie. He got best actor for it!

Ross: Oh…yeah. I actually heard about that. The first..uh…(looks at Phoebe, who yelps, "Oh!", and
covers little Chandler's ears)…porn movie…to ever compete with a movie movie and win.

Emily: That's…great, Joey.

Ross: Yeah, Joe, really.

Joey (smiling): Yeah, well, you know Phoebe's sister, Ursula, was already in the business…

Phoebe: (hurriedly covering little Chandler's ears again) Oh!

Joey: Oops! Sorry, Phoebes! Uh…that would be the restaurant business, little Chandler.

[Little Chandler just sighs and shakes his head]

Joey: Anyways…I wasn't doing too good in the other stuff, so I thought I'd give it a shot. And, what do
you know? I made best actor!

Ross: That's really great, Joe! What was the name of that again?

[Everybody looks at little Chandler. Monica leans over and whispers to Ross, "Good Will Humping, the
Sequel"] [And, no, I didn't make up that name. See "The One With all the Free Porn"]

Ross: Uh…yeah…

Emily: Uh…anyways…

Everybody but Joey: Yeah!

Joey: What?

Ross: So what are you gonna tell me now? Did you marry Ursula? (laughs)

Phoebe: No, he married me.

Ross and Emily (again): What!

Phoebe: Oh, oh yeah. About six months ago. (to Joey) I love you, Schnookums!

Joey: I love you, too, Phoebe-bear!

Ross: Whoa…wait a minute! This is really getting weird here!

Phoebe: Well, it's hardly any weirder than Rachel and Gunther!

Rachel: True.

Joey: Yeah, come on, Ross. Me and Phoebe always kinda had a thing for each other. I guess neither one
of us just realized it. And then we did and…well, there you go.

Emily: Okay, so…Rachel's married to Gunther, Joey, you're married to Phoebe…and won best actor in a
po…(looks at little Chandler.)…in the restaurant business… (little Chandler shakes his head again)

Joey: Why does everybody keep saying it like that?

Ross: Anything else we missed while I was gone?

Chandler: Uh…that pretty much covers it, I guess. Almost.

Ross: Almost?

Monica: (patting Ross on the knee) Let's save that for later, shall we.

Emily: I must say, Phoebe…don't take this the wrong way, but…you and Joey don't seem very
affectionate for a newly married couple. You haven't even gone near one another since we got here.

Joey: Oh, well that's on account of little Chandler….wouldn't wanna hurt those innocent little eyes of
yours, huh pal?

Phoebe: Frank and Allyson don't like a lot of public displays of affection in front of the children. You
know, on account of Frank being a preacher now, and all.

Ross and Emily: What?

Phoebe: Yeah. Ever since the Refrigerator business fell through.

Joey: That's why we keep Rachel chained to her chair.

[Rachel lifts up her right ankle, revealing the cuff that keeps her connected to her chair. She pouts.]

Rachel: Well, I just can't help it! He's sooo cute!

[In the background, Gunther dances a little gig.]

The end!