Controlling Your Variables

A Justice League story by Lavender Gaia

Summary: Diana gets talked into doing a little experiment.

Pairing: Batman/Wonder Woman

Disclaimer: I do not own Justice League or any related characters. They all belong to DC Comics.


Diana tried to make it part of her job to be as nice to the new Justice League members as possible. Many of them seemed vary of the Amazon, but she did want to be friends, particularly with the women. Being with a group of them at once reminded her of being home with her sisters.

At the moment, she was sitting in the cafeteria, sipping an iced mocha with Huntress, Black Canary, Vixen, and Supergirl. They were just having a nice conversation, about a movie everyone had seen except for her. When they had finished explaining the romantic sub-plot of the blockbuster action flick—the part that they actually seemed interested in—Diana noticed the Huntress looking at her, analyzing her.

"Wonder Woman, can I ask you a personal question?" the vigilante from Gotham wondered aloud.

"Uh oh," Black Canary smirked, pushing her long blonde hair behind her shoulders.

Diana considered the question. It wasn't as if she had much of a personal life anyway. "Of course."

"Have you ever been with a man?"

Supergirl choked on her soda, as Vixen patted her on the back. "Little young for this conversation, aren't you?"

Superman's cousin rolled her eyes. "Please, the farm isn't nearly as innocent as it was when Superman grew up there." Her blue orbs sparkled. "Besides, I want to hear the answer."

Diana felt all eyes looking at her expectantly. Knowing that Supergirl tended to look up to her as a role model, she felt confident in her answer. "No, I haven't. Unfortunately, with my line of work as it is, and without a secret identity, I don't get a lot of time for a social life."

"The total opposite ends of the spectrum," Black Canary realized, looking back and forth between Diana and Huntress.

"Are you insinuating something?"

Canary blinked innocently. "Nothing at all."

Helena "Huntress" Bertinelli rolled her eyes. "I didn't think so, being Green Arrow's girlfriend at all."

The older, blonde woman glared. "So, how's Nightwing?"

Kara Zor-El cleared her throat. "I'm sure a lot of men are intimidated by Wonder Woman anyway. At least all the guys here are, and they have superpowers."

Huntress nodded. "Plus, being a superhero or not, most men want someone with just a bit of experience."

The other women looked at her expectantly. Vixen raised an eyebrow. "Mind elaborating on that?"

The dark-haired woman shrugged. "Virgins aren't as popular as they used to be. Besides, if a guy wants someone like that, they generally go for sweet young girls, like you, Supergirl." She nodded towards the younger heroine, who blushed.

"I don't know about that. I doubt there's any guy alive who wouldn't want Diana," Kara offered.

Vixen nodded. "I think I get what Huntress is saying. No offense, Diana, but as much as they may like you at first, a lack of experience can be a real turnoff."

"I didn't mean it offensively either," Huntress quickly defended herself. "I know that the Amazons worshipped the three virgin goddesses and wanted to know if it applied to you too. I'm just curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat," Black Canary murmured.

"And satisfaction brought her back," Huntress finished. "Besides, I'm a teacher. It's natural for me to want to learn something."

Green Arrow's girlfriend rolled her eyes. "You teach elementary school. I doubt the sex habits of Wonder Woman is going to be on your lesson plan."

Diana thought about what the women were saying. She didn't think she would disappoint any men. Not that there were any particular men she wanted to impress. Well…maybe one. Her royal pride was about to take over. As much as she felt she might regret what she was about to say, it wasn't like her to be one-upped by a fellow sister.

"What about an experiment," she suggested. The girls looked at her quizzically as she glanced around the cafeteria. "I'll kiss the next man that walks through that door." She glanced at Supergirl and Black Canary. "Except for Superman or Green Arrow." The two blondes visibly relaxed, giving her a smile.

"Even Plastic Man?" Huntress asked in awe.

"Even Plastic Man."

Vixen toasted her with the rest of her coffee. "Never let it be said that Wonder Woman doesn't take risks—on or off the battlefield."

Kara frowned. "Wait…so, Wonder Woman, you think you can get a guy with one kiss? And Huntress thinks you won't do so well, right?"

The two women nodded. "Even my mother got Hades," Diana said wryly. It was her job to make an impression for Amazons everywhere, after all. "I'll even bet you twenty dollars that I'm correct."

"Wonder Woman bets?" Vixen smirked. "This gets more interesting by the minute."

Huntress grinned competitively. "Make it fifty."

"Make it one hundred," Diana rounded off. She didn't exactly need money, but she was used to controlling situations.

Canary looked towards the door. "Well, let's see who bachelor number one really is."

Not a minute later, Green Arrow walked in…in the middle of the heated conversation with Batman. The two men seemed to be arguing about something, and she heard pieces of "son" and "Harper." Neither of them seemed very happy.

"Batman?" Kara squeaked.

"Mr. Tall, Dark, and Scary himself," Vixen mused. "He's not exactly the most…open of the men, is he?

The Gotham heroine at the table leaned back in her chair with a grin. "This is going to be the easiest hundred dollars I've ever made."

Diana couldn't think of anything worse…or anything better. Sure, Bruce was probably going to blow her off and she would lose one hundred dollars, but it would be an excuse to kiss him, and in public no less. "Excuse me, ladies." With that, she left the table and walked towards the two men.

They were still mumbling insults under their breath to one another when she reached them. "Hello, Batman."

"Princess," he rumbled, raising an eyebrow at her from underneath the cowl. "Is there something you need?"

"Actually, there is." Her hands cupped the side of his face, bringing him down slowly to press her lips to his. All sound in the cafeteria stopped—or perhaps she just couldn't hear them over the fireworks going off in her mind. She started the kiss off slowly, building with the passion she only felt for him. Her thumbs gently caressed the skin not cowered by his cowl, sucking and nibbling on his bottom lip before pulling away.

Next to them, Green Arrow stared in shock before looking up in the sky, as if to say, 'I'm right here! How could you miss like that?'

When the kiss ended, Diana quickly moved past the men into the hallway, heading back to her room. That could quite possibly have been the most foolish thing she's ever done. At that moment she decided not to accept any more frozen mochas from Flash—she never knew what he could put in them.

Sitting on her bed, she took deep breaths. Her heart rate was going faster than it should—in her mind, she tried to attribute that to the rush of startling Batman, not the rush she got from kissing him. As she considered how she could possibly make it up to him, the door to her room slid open with a whoosh.

Batman gave her a hard look as the door closed behind him. "Am I on Candid Camera?"

Diana blinked. "Huh?"

"Oliver suggested it. And while normally I would ignore anything he says, it's the only thing that makes sense. So I'll ask you again: am I on Candid Camera?"

"I have no idea what that is."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "America's Funniest Home Videos then? Flash's way of making a quick buck?"

"It was a bet," she informed him as simply as she could.

Bruce blinked at her, slowly sliding off the cowl. "A bet."

Diana nodded, trying to stop herself from blushing. "The girls and I were…curious as to whether my lack of experience with men would hinder a possible relationship with one. As you know, I haven't had many opportunities to be with men." A soft raise of her eyebrow indicated that she did remember a certain experience, one that she was sure he recalled as well. "It was a complete coincidence that it was you."

For a minute, Batman stood there, absorbing the information. Finally, he asked, "And then what?"

Frowning, she insisted, "What do you mean?"

"After you kissed this man, what then? If he did accept your advances and enjoyed the kiss, what would you do about it?"

This hadn't occurred to her. "I…I would have used the money I won to take him out to dinner," she decided offhand. "Who knows what could happen?"

"And if such a man didn't want to wait for a dinner that could never happen?" he suggested. "What if he wanted to move forward right away?"

"I doubt any man would be so presumptuous with me," Diana crossed her arms over her chest."

He nodded slowly. "Ah. So you were just being a tease."

She glared at him, blue eyes sparking with anger. "Excuse me?"

"You were going to kiss a guy—any guy, mind you—then deny him any more, after you got what you wanted." There was a very faint smirk on his face. "That is the definition of a tease, Princess."

Scowling, she assured him, "I am not a tease."

"Then you must have been prepared to give yourself to your dependent variable," he took a step towards her. "That's quite a way to go for a social experiment."

Diana swallowed hard. "I wanted to make sure that I got the answer I needed."

He nodded. "There's always a possibility that whoever you had acquired would not be able to reciprocate well, which could skewer the results."

"If whoever I chose was a bad kisser, they might interpret it that I am instead, in order to feel better about themselves?" she reasoned. "How would I know if they were just bad?"

"Trust me, you'd be able to tell."

"How?" she repeated, raising a challenging eyebrow in his direction.

For a long moment, their eyes locked on one another. Then he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her towards him as he lowered his head towards hers. Their lips met again, with his dominating hers. Diana relaxed into his arms as he kissed her weak in the knees, even managing to get access into her mouth after sucking on her bottom and top lip intermittently.

He pulled away suddenly, slipping the cowl back over his head. "That's how you would know." As he turned back toward the door, he told her over his shoulder, "And now you're not a tease."

Her hand reached out, clasping his and squeezing it warmly. "Wait. I don't think I'm done yet."

"Oh?"

"Well, I always thought that every good experiment has a follow up experiment to take it further." He didn't protest as she pulled him gently back towards her. "Such as, what if we kept doing that?"

They stood very close together. "What do you think would happen?"

She rested her hands on his shoulders. "I'm hoping you wouldn't try to leave."

"I suppose that's a hypothesis we'll just have to test," he told her huskily.

"In the name of science, of course."

"Of course. Though I'm not sure I'm the best person to use as a variable," he whispered in her ear. "I can be very independent…except when it comes to you."

She shivered at his hot breath on her skin. "I think it'll be okay. Unless you'd rather I go find someone else…"

Bruce kissed down her neck. "I think we can collect this data ourselves. You'll have to keep notes though. Such as what happens when I do this."

Their lips crashed together, a sensation of need taking over as they fed off each other's passion. Diana held back a moan as he held her hips, plundering her mouth in a way that made her bury her fingers in his hair. As her lips broke apart from his and trailed down his neck, they both knew that they'd be collecting data for quite a while.


The next day, Huntress and Black Canary were returning from a mission with Green Lantern, exhausted from the fight. "I'm going to take a nice long bath," Canary moaned.

"Same here," Huntress agreed. "Right after I take a dozen aspirin. I think I'm going to need my bet money just to pay for that. Speaking of that, have you seen Diana?"

The blonde shook her head. "Sorry, haven't seen her."

They passed Batman in the hall, exchanging a look as he walked towards the teleporters. "Huntress, Black Canary," he acknowledged them.

"Batman," they smiled at him uneasily.

"Huntress, don't forget that you have a lesson tomorrow with Mr. Terrific about how to do monitor duty."

She nodded. "Understood."

He was about to walk away before he remembered something. "By the way, Diana says that she'll accept a personal check if you don't have any cash on you."

The two women gaped at him. "Y-You mean…"

Batman smirked. "How about a nice conclusion for this little lesson: Never bet against the princess."


A/N: Another fic that I came up with when I was supposed to be doing something else. For some reason, this seems a little disjointed to me. Probably because I'm really tired. It has kind of a science theme because I've got a science fair project that I actually have to work on this weekend. I guess I've got it on the brain.

I've only written Huntress, Black Canary and Supergirl in the comic sense before, so they may be slightly different from their JLU counterparts. I've never written Vixen, but I tried.

Questions, comments, reactions and reviews are greatly appreciated.