Maddie couldn't sleep so she decided to take a walk. A long walk to clear her mind. She couldn't take the yelling anymore or the berating about divorce that her Mom and step dad were arguing about. It was tearing her apart. She walked out of her room silently and snuck downstairs. She opened the door softly and left. She didn't even look back. What was the point?
Maddie shivered and began walking along the trail. Realizing she should've brought a jacket, Maddie felt like running back into her home and grabbing one but since she had no intentions of going back, Maddie trudged on. Kicking up some leaves, Maddie sighed. She looked at the bright yellow moon and the dark contrast of the sky against the stars. It was beautiful, plain beautiful. And here she was not enjoying it, because of her family life. Because of the way her parents were treating each other, and blaming it on her.
After a few minutes of walking, Maddie decided to sit on a stray fallen tree and take a break. A break from her life. She jumped onto the log and crossed her legs while putting her face in her hands. Why, she thought. Why me? With all the good things in the world, why did she always attract the drama. Why?
Maddie sniffled. She couldn't take it anymore. The emotional bruises Maddie had carried throughout her life were too much for her. They were mentally crushing her heart, making her weak inside. Unable to trust. Unable to want to trust.
She felt numb all over. She couldn't feel anything, and she was okay with that. As long as no one found out. Here she was alone. She could be the real Maddie, she didn't have to hide her real self when it came to being alone. Maddie's head sunk lower in her hands and she tried with all her might to stifle the cry that was coming. But she couldn't hold back reality any longer.
At first it was a soft cry, silent and unable to be heard, but it continued into a noticeable cry of guilt. A cry of shame and anger for who she was. She hated who she was. No different than being, dead, she thought.
Maddie whipped the tears from her face and recomposed herself. Now was the time to be the 'fake Maddie' again, she thought while getting up. The one who everyone loved and thought that she was so happy.
No one loved her. Yeah, at the Tipton, sure, they said they loved her like a sister, but she knew that it was a lie. They only felt bad for her because she had to stay at the Tipton all of the time when her parents were fighting. Empathy. She hated that word. It was a foul and coward-like word. It was fake. All of it was fake.
And here Maddie was, sulking like a loser. A pathetic loser that no one loved.
She looked down as she walked towards her house and stopped. Why go back, she thought. No one will care if I'm gone. They won't even notice. Even if I was dead they wouldn't care. No one would.
She walked north until the late hours of the night. After the first few minutes of leaving her home, everything became unfamiliar. The street names, the homes, the environment. She didn't even feel like she was in Boston anymore. She didn't even feel alive anymore.
She was nothing. She didn't care.
Nothing, non-existent. She never really did exist, you know. It was all a lie, a pretend joke that everyone had played on her. Maddie was furious. How could they lie to me, she thought. All of her friends and 'family' were all liers. They didn't want anything to do with Maddie. Maddie didn't blame them
She didn't want anything to do with herself either.
Maddie shivered again. The wind had picked up through the blackness of the night. It almost felt like miniature needles prickling her skin. Maddie laughed at the thought of that. She was being punished. Sure, she thought, gritting her teeth as the wind pierced her skin. I deserve this. I'm a horrible person, so why shouldn't I be punished?
Maddie started to cry again, stronger than before. As her tears streaked down her face they burnt her skin from the wind carrying through the night. She looked up. The snow began to fall. It was snowing.
Maddie used to love the snow. When she was a child she would make little snow angles out of the snow by her apartments. She could vaguely remember her real father taking pictures of her laughing and giggling like all children were supposed to be. Then they would make silly snowmen out of the left over snow and dress them up. That was when everything was perfect. But now, now nothing is perfect. Everything is wrong.
And she could never find the pictures of her and her dad that day. They were all destroyed. Everything was destroyed.
When her father left.
Shivers ran through her body. The temperature was starting to drop, but Maddie didn't realize it. She couldn't even know where she was. But for some reason, she kept walking. Maybe it was to keep warm, or maybe it was so she could get as far away as possible. So no one would ever find her.
And no one would ever know.