Of Spoons And Indecent Proposals

"Your Majesty ... are you sure you don't want to take that back?" Conrad started, but Wolfram had already gleefully ripped the spoon from Yuuri's fingers, leaving the young King blinking confusedly and opening and closing his now empty hand a few times, while his fiancé held the silverware like a long lost treasure.

"What have I done now...?" That was as much as Yuuri managed to say before he was pulled to his mother in law's loving bosum.

"Heika" Cheri squealed excidedly. "I thought it'd never happen!"

"Wha..." came the chocked reply. It was hard enough breathing in the previous Queen's tight embrace, let alone finding sufficiant air to utter more than a shocked grunt.

"And you were so bold about it, too, Heika-darling. Asking him right here infront of us!"


In private, Yuuri wondered if the fact that the others were keeping so suspiciously silent on the subject should worry him. The answer came about very easily: Yes, very much so.

"All I did was hand him his spoon back ..." He offered helplessly, glad when he was finally released, but his words fell on deaf ears.

"Oh, I hope it'll be a boy! It seems like forever since Wolf stopped letting me pick his clothes."

"Boy...? Clothes?" He was completely in over his head. Not that that was a novel occurance, but it rarely happened at the breakfast table. Usually it took Yuuri at least till the afternoon to reach these levels of confusion.

"Why, the baby of course!"

"... baby?" Yuuri repeated wide-eyed and still incomprehending, gaze in turn darting to each of the members of the court seated around the table. Neither Wolfram's triumphant smirk, nor the way Gwendal's wrinkles dug deeper into his face than ever did anything to calm his nerves, not to mention how Günther seemed close to fainting. Finally Conrad gave a resigned sigh.

"In handing Wolfram the spoon you just asked him to bear your child, your Majesty."


Followed by absolute silence.

And yet more uncomfortable, almost tangible silence in which a bird's "Bad Omen" call echoed horribly.


While the black-haired king stared at his fiancé with his mouth hanging open in an undignified and completely unking-like manner, the blond calmly took a sip from his tea cup.

"Don't try to worm your way out of it now wimp, I already accepted!"

There was a dull thud when Yuuri's head hit the table's polished surface. This was just promising to be one of those days ...

Author's note:

I wish I could claim this crack-tastic idea as my own, but it's all due to Kali Cephirot's genius, I just wrote the scene.

The idea basically was: "Well, a knife is for duel, a spork shows that the relationship is a three way one... the spoon's convex form obviously conveys feelings about pregnancy.

Offering it with the convex side up: I'm pregnant.
With the convex side down: I want to be pregnant.
Holding the convex side and offering the handle: I want you to get pregnant."