Author's Note: Oh, my. Dei-Dei-Chan's out for blood this time.

Dedicated to Suko-Chan, and her love for this "GOD-BLEEPED BISHIE", as she refers to him.

30 Ways To Make Deidara More Insane Than He Already Is

1. Pour a bottle of Dulcolax into a batter of cookies and deliver them to his room's door.

2. Tape "The Jerry Springer Show" and watch it at all hours of the day.

3. Sing very loudly and very badly at every possible instance.

4. When walking through a large crowd, declare at the top of your lungs, "DEI-DEI-CHAN'S NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR TODAY!"

5. Take a baseball bat to his favorite clay creations.

6. Jack his Myspace account and wreak absolute havoc on it.

7. Place a goat on the breakfast table and leave it there while you eat.

8. Replace his favorite brand of cereal with dry cat food.

9. Tie string around sardines and dried anchovies, and make a sort of mobile out of them. Keep it in an airtight box for a few weeks, than hang it over his bed.

10. Buy a box of Poise pads, and come running out when he's training with Tobi, shouting that he forgot to put a pad on and it won't be pretty if he gets too excited.

11. Pop out from under indiscriminate objects and shout "Boo!".

12. Start a rumor that he and Tobi are.. Ahem. 'Intimate'.

13. Plant flowers in his shoes.

14. Play with a yo-yo and sing annoying songs under your breath.

15. Fill his closet with Beanie Babies so that when he opens the door, an avalanche of the animals buries him.

16. Cosplay as Gaara on crack.

17. Glue a propeller beanie to his head.

18. Do a neon-green paint job on his Akatsuki cloak.

19. Hug him.

20. Tightly.

21. Skip around him in the mornings throwing flower petals.

22. Whack him with a Soap-On-A-Rope at indiscriminate times.

23. Smear gooey Dark chocolate all over the walls of his room.

24. Talk incessantly about how male hippopotamuses use their tails to fling their poop around to attract females for mating.

25. Tie him up and invite Suko over for a "visit". (See, Suko-chan? I remembered! XD)

26. In the middle of the night, fill a paper sack with air. Walk over to his bed, place the bag beside his ear, and pop it.

27. Throw an angry cat at him once or twice.

28. Sing "We Are Family" as loud as you can.

29. Tacky-Glue all of his pairs of sandals together.

30. Dress as a rapster and butcher the lyrics of Linkin Park terribly.


Deidara's Reaction:

"This is worse than the DeiIruka pairing!" he screeched. "Un!"

Leaping to his feet, the valiant artist vowed that he wasn't going to take this one sitting down. Uh-uh. This time, HarvestMoonRacoon had gone too far. Love letters to Iruka was one thing. But he and Tobi? Ugh. It sent shivers down his back just thinking about it.

Puffing out his chest, Deidara swaggered out of his room towards the entrance to the Akatsuki's hidden fortress. He would find a way to exact revenge upon this girl, somehow.

He flipped his hair over his back haughtily, and strode down the dirt road that led to a conveniently placed wormhole in dimensions. Come the next annoyance fic, Deidara would make damn sure that this little girl never suggested crack pairings again. Un!