Disclaimer: we do not own Naruto or any of the characters, that right belongs to Naruto's maker and we are very thankful that they made Naruto so we could have so much fun writing this hehehehe.
Written by: LightTorture and DarknessSuicide
Warnings: There is Yaoi in this story, and that's not changing anytime, ain't no way, ain't no how, sorry, you're gonna have to deal. . Second of all, this is very much religion based, but don't worry, it's not based on Christianity, not at all, hehehehe, but it is based on religion, the hint is in the title.
AN: PLEASE DON'T COMMENT ON ANYTHING LIKE CHANGING THE CANNON BECAUSE IT IS A FANFICTION AND IT WILL BE CHANGED. AND PLEASE DON'T EVEN BRING UP MARY-SUES, CONTRARY TO WHAT YOU MAY THINK AT FIRST, THESE TWO OC'S ARE FAR FROM MARY-SUES, AT LEAST IN OUR EYES SO WE DON'T MEAN TO SOUND RUDE WHEN WE SAY THIS BUT... WE DON'T CARE IF YOU THINK THEY ARE MARY-SUES, DON'T BOTHER US ABOUT IT, WE'RE SICK OF IT AND WE WILL BE CROSS AND PROBABLY NOT BE TOO NICE IN OUR RESPONSE ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. WE DO HOWEVER, LOVE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM AND WOULD APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH IF YOU LEFT SOME IN YOUR REVIEWS, JUST NOTHING ABOUT MARY-SUES OR THE CANNON. PLEASE AND THANK YOU!
OH, AND ONE MORE THING, THE NUMBERS IN THE PARENTHESIS LIKE (1) (2) (3) (4) ARE TONE MARKS BECAUSE WE TOOK OUR CHINESE NAMES FROM OUR CHINESE CLASS AND USED THEM FOR THE NAMES OF THE CHARACTERS. OH, AND PLEASE DON'T COMMENT ON THE FACT THAT WE USED CHINESE NAMES FOR A JAPANESE SHOW, WE JUST FELT LIKE IT WE HAVE NO SPECIFIC REASONING IT WAS JUST FUN.
OK, NOW AFTER ALL OF THIS CHIT CHAT ON AND ON AND ON, WE KNOW WE HAVE RAMBLED QUITE A BIT BUT IT IS NOT 11:20 AT NIGHT (WINK WINK), WE'RE NOT HYPER (WINK WINK) AND WE REALLY WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU TALKED ABOUT THE ABOVE SAD THINGS (NOT, PLEASE DON'T PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, WE DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO YELL AT YOU) OK HEHE, I GUESS THAT IT. ENJOY, WE ALMOST DIED FROM LAUGHTER WRITING THIS ONE CHAPTER. HEHEHEHE. WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN WRITING THIS FOR YOU.
Ninjas or Witches Chapter One Bunch of Baka's
It was early in the morning when Anko came striding into the hospital where Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) and Li(3) Yue(4) Ting(2) were working on healing a construction worker.
"Hello, Anko-san, what can we do for you?" Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) asks with a huge grin on her face as she looks up.
"You two seem busy at work," Anko comments, looking over the construction worker.
"Not really, he just hit his head," Li(3) Yue(4) Ting(2) smiles.
"He fell off his ladder; however, be happy, he was lucky, his head broke his fall," Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) giggles.
"Yeah, 'cause you really don't need your head to live," Anko rolls her eyes.
"Well, you don't," Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) points out.
"And you're supposed to be a medical Ninja," Anko comments, placing her hand on her hip. "What has this world come to that we have to fall back on a couple of thirteen-year-olds who don't know the value of the head?"
"Well, it's not like he was using it," Li(3) Yue(4) Ting(2) shrugs. "If he was, he wouldn't have fallen."
"Well, you've got a point there," Anko admits.
"See, you agree with us, the head isn't important, so how about we remove yours, you'll be able to move around much faster, there wouldn't be any weight on your shoulders to hold you back," Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) chirps.
"Uh, no thank you, I'll deal with the weight," the adult sweat drops.
"Suit yourself," Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) sighs.
"Ow, what happened? Where am I?" the construction worker asks, opening his eyes and rubbing his head.
"You fell off the ladder, Baka," Li(3) Yue(4) Ting(2) responds, turning into her colder attitude toward the stupid head, or at least, who she felt was a stupid head.
"Yue(4) Ting(2), why'd you have to go cold on me?" Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) pouts, tears forming in her eyes.
"Don't cry, Guang(1) Zhao(4), this Baka just got me in a bad mood, interrupting our conversation with Anko-san," Li(3) Yue(4) Ting(2) responds. "No need to worry."
Instantly, Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) cheers up again.
"Ok!" she squeaks. "You, Baka," she states, pointing at the man, "you're all better so go home and stop making MY Yue(4) Ting(2) so depressed and cold!"
"What? But I. . ."
With that, Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) pulls him to his feet and starts pushing him to the door.
"The nurse will deal with all the paperwork," Anko assures before Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) slams the door in his face.
"Anko-san, Anko-san, what did you come to visit for? Anything good?" Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) perks up instantly.
"Good as in what?" Anko presses.
"Something besides dealing with Bakas who fall off their ladders or hit themselves with their hammers," Li(3) Yue(4) Ting(2) explains.
"Hammers?" Anko blinks.
"Yes, this BIG BAKA, HUGE BAKA, and I mean HUGE! He was so big! I swear, I thought he was gonna break the bed. In fact, he did break the stretcher! He was so big! He had hit himself in the bad place with the wrong end of the hammer," Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) points out.
"Didn't know there was a right end of the hammer for something like that," Anko points out, a sweat drop continually perched on the side and back of her head.
"No, actually there isn't, but this was the pointy end," Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) states, all excited.
"Yeah, too bad, his new wife actually wanted to have kids some day. Oh well, nothing we could do about it," Li(3) Yue(4) Ting(2) shrugs.
"Yeah, that's out of the question. Too bad, I thought he would have made a great daddy, he was SO BIG!" Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) exclaims, throwing her arms out to her sides. "He would have made a great pony for his kid!"
"He wasn't that big, Guang(1) Zhao(4)," Li(3) Yue(4) Ting(2) comments. "He was just very tall."
"No he wasn't, he was tall and FAT, he was so FAT that I could barely get him through the door!" Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) shouts.
Li(3) Yue(4) Ting(2) spits out the water that she had just been trying to drink at that comment. "You're not supposed to say that kind of thing about our patients!"
"It's the truth," she pouts as she wipes the liquid off of her face.
"Anyway, the Chuunin exam starts tomorrow," Anko starts as she too wipes the spit up water from her face.
"Oh, now that's interesting," Li(3) Yue(4) Ting(2) comments with an evil look in her eye.
"YAY! CHUUNIN! CHUUNIN! CHUUNIN!" Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) starts her little dance in the background. "So, do we get to participate this time? You didn't let us last time."
"Uh, Guang(1) Zhao(4), we were Chuunin years ago," Li(3) Yue(4) Ting(2) points out. "We've moved beyond that."
"But I still want to participate. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, Anko-san!" Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) begs on her knees, grabbing Anko's jacket.
"Guang(1) Zhao(4), get up, you're embarrassing yourself," Li(3) Yue(4) Ting(2) sweat drops.
"Actually, this year, you'll have a major role in the Chuunin exams," Anko points out.
"REALLY?" Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) asks, stars in her eyes.
Anko nods proudly.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) celebrates.
"Whoohoo," Li(3) Yue(4) Ting(2) comments, unenthused, as she waves her finger in the air.
"What's wrong, Yue(4) Ting(2)?" Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) asks.
"Nothing, but I'm tired of being treated like a child. We're ANBU now, why do we have to deal with all of these Bakas? First the adult Bakas, now we have to baby-sit the children Bakas as well?"
"Well, actually, we thought you two would be perfect because you're about the same age of most of the Konoha ninja taking the exam, so you could be the ones sitting in with the answers," Anko shrugs. "But if you don't want to . . ."
"Yue(4) Ting(2)! Please! I wanna, I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna!" Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) complains. "Please, please, please, please, please, please, please!"
"Fine, we'll do it, if only to make you stop begging!"
The two laugh together happily.
"All right, we'll see you tomorrow at seven o'clock A.M. sharp. Don't be late, girls," Anko comments.
"Seven o'clock AM? There's an AM for seven o'clock?" Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) asks, tilting her head.
"Yeah, you normally sleep right through it," Anko responds, her pet sweat drops that always seem to appear when dealing with these two returns.
"No I don't, I wake at midnight," Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) argues.
"Just because the clock says twelve does NOT mean it's midnight. You, my dear friend, wake up at NOON!" Li(3) Yue(4) Ting(2) responds.
"Hey, I do the night shift," Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) pouts.
"You call working from one o'clock in the afternoon to nine o'clock in the evening a NIGHT shift?" Anko comments.
"Yeah, I mean, there aren't any later shifts, are there? There's the one that goes on when I'm not there and the one while I am here, right?
"Now look who's the baka," Anko laughs as she shakes her head.
"Uh... you?" Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) asks.
"Yeah, Anko-san is the baka," Li(3) Yue(4) Ting(2) joins in. "Thinking you'll be up at seven in the morning, you've never seen any hours that were actually AM before in your life."
Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) pouts, "Like you're any better, Yue(4) Ting(2)."
"Well, duh, we have the same sleeping pattern, I guess. Are you sure we can't change it to seven in the evening?"
"OF COURSE WE CAN'T CHANGE IT JUST BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO WAKE YOURSELVES UP IN THE MORNING!" Anko screams. "HOW THE HELL DID YOU PEOPLE MAKE IT THROUGH THE ACADEMY WITH THAT TYPE OF ATTITUDE!"
"Academy? What's Academy?" Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) asks thinking.
Anko's eye twitches as she stares at the two girls in front of her trying to think about what she meant, Li(3) Yue(4) Ting(2) dazing off into space with her brown eyes, looking so distant, but that was normal, that's how she thinks. Meanwhile, Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) has a hard look of concentration on her face as she holds her hand up to her face, her orange eyes almost go cross in concentration.
"Don't hurt yourself you two," Anko comments.
"Seriously, what's the Academy, Anko-san?" Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) asks.
"The building where you learned how to be a Ninja!" Anko shouts.
"We didn't go to a building, we were off with Tsunade-sama," Li(3) Yue(4) ting(2) responds.
"Oh, that's right, we were weren't we, Yue(4) Ting(2)? I miss Tsunade-sama, why doesn't she ever come visit us?" Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) asks.
"I don't know," Li(3) Yue(4) Ting(2) shrugs. "I miss her too."
"I know, I know, let's go visit her!" Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) exclaims. "We can leave in the morning at midnight!"
"Guang(1) Zhao(4), I thought we just got through this, it's noon when you wake up, not midnight, NOON! And we can't go anywhere, we have to deal with the Chuunin exams."
"I know, we can just tell Anko-san that we got sick and skip, like the other kids tend to do when they don't want to take a test in school," Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) responds.
"Um, Guang(1) Zhao(4)-chan, I'm standing RIGHT HERE!" Anko hollers.
Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) starts to cry as she rubs her ears.
"Yue(4) Ting(2), she screamed in my ears! Now my head hurts! Make it stop!"
"Will you two be there or not?" Anko sighs, by this time her pets seemed permanent and it seemed that she would start to wrinkle at an early age if this kept up much longer. "The Third would really appreciate it if you came."
"Hokage-sama?" Wu(3) Guang(1) Zhao(4) perks up. "Why didn't you say so in the first place, we'll be there!"
"Yeah, we'll do anything for Hokage-sama, he's so old and kind," Li(3) Yue(4) Ting(2) responds. "And did I mention OLD?"
"Yes, you did," a male voice comments from just outside the door, "thanks for reminding me of that factor."
"Hokage-sama!" the two girls shout out in excitement as they burst through the door and tackle him to the ground.