Disclaimer by Roy Orbinson. This is just a mere parody.I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or its characters, nor the song 'Pretty Woman'

A/N: Sorry for all the dots. I don't know how to get the correct formatting on FFnet, and what I tried wouldn't work -scowls- so this was the only way I could get it to stay some what right. Can anyone tell me a better way to format this?

Pretty Woman

By, pinoykengumi7

"Hey. I wonder where Aoshi-sama and the others went." Megumi rolled her eyes.

"Weasel girl, I'm sure that your beloved Aoshi-sama can take care of himself." She fingered a lock of her hair before mumbling, "though about that stupid Tori Atama…"

Laughing heartily, Kaoru added, "I'm sure they are just having male bonding!"

"Well I'm going off to check." The short girl pouted. "If you don't want to come with me, that's fine."

"Hm, Kenshin's not back yet from buying tofu." She bit on her bottom lip; a gesture indicating that she was unsure or thinking.

"Ken-san can take care of himself quite well." A smooth, fox-like voice managed to get a vein to precariously bulge on Kaoru's forehead. "Though if he does get help, I'll always be willing to attend to him at the clinic. Oh ho hohoho."

"Misao, lets go!"


"This is boring."

"Shut up brat. Take a look at that!" Sanosuke pointed just in front of them. Aoshi merely lifted his eyes to where the moocher was pointing.

"O-oh." Yahiko grinned.


Sano:...Pretty woman, walkin' down the street

...With long red hair, the colour of strawberries

Yahiko:...Pretty woman, I can't see past you, with your ass to boot

...No one could look as good as you

All three:...Mercy


+ Misao: Hey look! There's Aoshi-sama!

Megumi: What in the blazes are they doing?

Kaoru: Wait Misao, don't go yet. I think they're…

All three: …singing. +


Aoshi:...Pretty woman, won't you look at me

...I'm the most handsome, out of all us three


+ Sanosuke and Yahiko glare at the stoic man +

+ Misao: Yeah! Aoshi-sama's singing. His voice is so good! It's so deep and sexy and—

Megumi and Kaoru snort +


Aoshi:...Pretty woman, you look as lovely as can be

...Are you lonely just like me?


+ Yahiko and Sanosuke sniggers, earning them a 'you-pitiful-ones-do-not- amuse-me' look +

+ Megumi and Kaoru manage to hide a smile +


All three:...Wow

Yahiko:... . Pretty woman, stop a while

...I'm interested in older ladies, can I have a trial


+ All three girls choke

Kaoru: He better not try any moves on us+


Yahiko:...Pretty woman, I'm smitten as can be

...Pretty woman, yeah yeah yeah

All three:...Pretty woman, look my way

Yahiko:...Pretty woman, say you'll stay with me

Aoshi:...'Cause I need you, I'll treat you right

Sano:...Come with me baby, to the rowhouse tonight


+ Misao and Megumi scowl, while Kaoru tries to calm them down, thanking her lucky stars that Kenshin wasn't singing with them +

Aoshi:...Pretty woman, don't walk on by

...I'm not affected by your lack of height


+ Misao: Hang on, what does he mean by that!

Kaoru: Now now, Misao. I'm sure that Aoshi didn't mean anything bad by that… maybe.

Megumi: Or maybe he just doesn't like immature little girls like you.

Misao: Y-you Fox! Aoshi-sama doesn't—

Kaoru: Shh! They're singing again+


Sano:...Pretty woman, don't walk away, hey… okay

...If that's the way it must be, okay

Yahiko:...I guess I'll go on home, it's late

...The busu's there, she'll have my flesh for steak



Misao: Kaoru, be quiet, otherwise they'll notice us+


All three:...What do I see

...Is she walking back to me

...Yeah, she's walking back to me

...Oh, oh, pretty…


Aoshi: ...My.

Yahiko: ...God.

All three:...Oh, oh…


+ Music plays really slowly to the tune of the first verse +


Sano:...My heart is broken, it really was a man

...Oh God please kill me, while you still can

Aoshi:...Pretty woman,

...I wish I had just believed, that you were as pretty

Yahiko:...As it looked from the back view

All three: ...Oh pretty she-man.


"Ah. That was quite entertaining. Though what Kenshin was doing in a woman's kimono and his hair out, I have no idea!"

"Maybe she, I mean he, was out with another man, Tanuki."

"That's gross. I don't even want to think that. Aoshi-sama singing was great, but singing about Kenshin—" Misao shuddered. "I'm never going to forget this day." Kaoru and Megumi nodded their heads in agreement.

"Oi! Open up, Jou-chan!"

"Funny, the guys are back." A sly smirk crossed Megumi's features.

"You wouldn't believe what we saw today…"

- Owari -

Author's Notes

Hey everyone! I hope you enjoyed it. Some of the words didn't quite match up, but I tried my best! XD Any suggestions on how I can make it better welcomed.

Please tell me what you thought of it!

-Duckii Mustang-


-sama – honorific, literally translated as 'lord'

­-san – honorific, equivalent to English 'Mr/Mrs/Miss'

Tori Atama – Rooster Head – Sanosuke's nickname

Busu – ugly – what Yahiko calls Kaoru

Tanuki – Native Japanese animal, similar to a racoon – Kaoru's nickname

Jou-chan – Little missy – Sanosuke's nickname for Kaoru.

Owari – end