I won't say a word…
A million years ago when no one you know was born there was stuff and monkeys. But that has nothing to do with anything so back to the 21st century in the sewer of sewery swereness. The figure stepped out of the shadows but do to blackmail and waffles of malicious intent I cannot describe him.
Jazz: Who are you?
Figure: (In fake Australian accent) I'm the Alligator Hunter Crikey! (Pronounced Crick-EE) I was once the greatest bloke there ever was but then that guy came along, Steve or something… He knocked me out of the starlight and I was subsequently mauled by starving Walruses at the San-Diego Zoo, leaving me horribly disfigured.
This was entirely true and one of the reasons why I can't describe him. Sam covered James and Erica's eyes and Danny was to busy retching to listen to his back story.
Alligator Hunter: Well, I guess its time to take you to Rodriguez now. Follow me mates.
The horribly disfigured guy led them to a huge throne room looking place. At the center was a toilet on which sat an old friend of sorts whose name was…
Danny & Sam: VALERIE!
Valerie: No, Valerie is gone my name is now RODRIGUEZ!
This caused them to start snickering.
Danny: That's a boy's name! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Rodriguez: Well uh, PREPARE TO DIE!
A set of cables appeared and tied Danny up.
Slegg: GASP! I found a penny.
Jazz: Okay this is just plain weird.
Rodriguez: After pants ate my butt leaving half the girl I once was I saw no choice but to turn evil.
Danny: If you ask me the smaller butt's an improvement. I love Sam's butt and it's pretty small.
Sam: Danny! Not in front of the children do we talk about liking body parts.
Slegg: (Whispers to Sam) I eat babies.
Sam grabbed James and Erica and scooted away from the Troll.
A massive electric shock zapped Danny, engulfing him in a cloud of dust. When it cleared something terrible had happened.
Rodriguez: Well it looks like Daniel is now Danielle!
Sam: NO! I'm married to and the biological mother of a girl's children! I'm going to be sick.
Danni: I don't want to be a girl change me back!
Rodriguez: Nope. X2-94782375910715-whatever get them!
Then from the shadows emerged the corpse of Vlad with what appeared to be a cash register in the place of his head as well as several robotic parts and stuff.
Vlad: I am Mc Service, the first ever fully automated cash register!
Rodriguez: Heh, still working out some of the bugs from his new "brain". Attack!
Vlad then grabbed James and Erica.
Vlad: All customer opinions are valued at 50 degrees Fahrenheit that'll be 2:95.
Sam: Give them back!
Vlad: Would you like fries that?
Danni: Who cares just give them back!
Vlad: (Hands Sam the kids and large hole opens up in his chest. A bag of fries shoot out at high velocity knocking Sam unconscious) Happy to be of service.
While no one was looking Slegg bent over Sam it seemed as if he was debating whether to take the babies or the fries, finally he settled on the fries and began eating the ravenously.
Rodriguez: I'm getting bored so here's the antidote. It's in one of these chocolates. But which one is it? B.O. Blast, Screaming Monkey, Murloc Madness, or Antidote.
Danni wolfed down all four of them.
Rodriguez: WHAT! Nobody's ever eaten the whole dang assortment. I'm afraid I'll have to kill you now.
A massive battle took place next. Finally Rodriguez aimed a gun at Danni's head.
Sam who just woke up said.
Sam: NO! Don't you dare shoot my husband, I mean wife, I mean whatever just don't shoot!
Rodriguez: No go Paul.
Jazz: We need help! And someone please tell me who the heck Paul is!
From the sky a heavily muscled guy in banana colored armor with a giant axe flew towards Rodriguez.
Killjoy: Arcanite Reaper HO!
Rodriguez then re-aimed the gun at Killjoy and fired causing a massive explosion.
Danni: What! I'm getting fat.
Danni kept growing and growing until she exploded, coating the room in chocolate.
Slegg: Anyone else think dat was cool?
Thankfully in the center stood someone…
Meanwhile back at the ranch, well actually it was in the untamed wilderness of Wisconsin. There in the middle of the wilderness sat a tiny person, with four fingers and bright pink hair. He was sobbing his eyes out. Then from the tree emerged a sneaky looking guy his name was Mulch.
Mulch: What's wrong little Gnome?
Dirti: Nobody wants to join my guild. (Sobs) Hey do want to join?
Mulch: Well, uh, what's your guild called?
Dirti: (Deep breath) The knights of the totally awesome and happy making friendly time!
Mulch: Actually I'm…
Dirti: But were really awesome we'll do your homework and wash your feet and we're working on doing an MC Raid once we have more members than just me. And we trade each other things all the time its really beautiful and I just want to cry sometimes. And I can't go outside because the sun hurts my eyes since I stay at home all day and eat pizza rolls! And we (Dirti speeds up until Mulch can no longer understand him.) (A few minutes later) So what do you think? You gonna join? You gonna to join? (Insane laughter)
Mulch: Well I'm already in a guild. But here's some advice.
Mulch: You shouldn't be sad that people won't join your guild. You should be angry! HOW DARE THEY NOT JOIN! WHAT? YOU'RE GUILD AINT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM?
Dirti: Yeah! I should be filled with supernatural rage. Starting with you!
Mulch: Oh o.
What happened to Danny and Rodriguez, what does Mulch have to do with anything, why am I asking you these questions. Find out next time! OH YEAH!