Oh noes, another fic, another fandom.

Kay, so, Hitachiincentric, character death. Angstish.

Non-yaoi.

Also, I know nothing! about medical condtions and own nothing! involving Host Club.

And I like spelling Honey "Hani" because it makes sense anyway!


Hikaru remembered resting his palm against the flat surface of Kaoru's chest when they were two little boys, angry because if his twin could have a terrible heart condition, then why shouldn't he?

Their heartbeats felt the same. Kaoru had reminded him with a smile that that was good enough. His shining attitude made Hikaru's mouth curve out of his pout and into a grin of his own.

Every night, after the lights were turned off, they would lie in their silk pajamas under linen sheets, and the elder brother felt the younger brother's heart beating. It cured the nervous feeling brewing inside the pair. They were too young to understand, but as long as the rhythm inside of them was the same, it was all okay.

As they grew older, they forgot about the ritual, saving it for days after Kaoru returned from the hospital and lay in bed the rest of the day, Hikaru beside him, with his fingers gently massaging the hard bone and flesh above his weak heart.


Hikaru gazed almost furtively at Haruhi for a moment, clutching his ringing phone. The girl smiled kindly at him, and he pressed the glowing green button, muttering his greeting into the receiver.

"Hikaru-san."

The boy winced at the inflection in his friend's voice. If Kyouya sounded pained and grave, then there was something dreadfully wrong. And if they were calling him, then it definitely meant…

"What is it?" he asked, his throat clenching around his words. He tried to keep away the desperate note in them.

"Your brother's heart condition…"

He stormed around the corner to spare Haruhi, seething, "How do you know about his conditi---"

"My research. I'm not sure you want to be yelling at me. Kaoru is dying in my family's hospital. You should come soon."

"Dying?" the twin breathed, gripping the tiny phone with a sudden anxiety. However, Kyouya's voice was no longer coming through. He had hung up.

"Haruhi… We have to leave now."


"I can't fit onto the bed, Kaoru…" Hikaru spoke miserably into the silence. "I... So I guess I'll just…"

Without continuing, the older (and very much more conscious) twin placed his right hand over Kaoru's heart. He sniffed, letting his head rest on the boy's bare stomach.

"Our heartbeats don't feel the same anymore." This fact was confirmed by the irregular beep near his head, making him wince every time it sounded. "They tell me you're really dying this time."

His eyes burned with tears, flooding his nasal cavity with moisture and a curious sting. It felt like his whole body was flooded, actually, overflowing through his tear ducts and stretching his chest until it ached.

His tears turned into full sobs as he buried his face into the mattress. "It's not fair," he whispered suddenly, mind jumbled by grief. "It's not fair, it's not fair. It's not fai--- Kaoru, why?"

And then he calmed down, leaving a sullen silence behind to suffocate them.

The door creaked open, allowing for two heads to poke inside furtively. Hikaru suddenly found he could breathe again, glancing upward with eyes soaked with tears and numbed by sadness.

"Hika-chan," began Hani, his usually bright voice wavering, "may we come in?"

He let his eyelids slide shut, nodding slowly.

So in filtered the remaining members of the Host Club, all displaying varying degrees of tension and dismay on their faces. Tamaki laid a hand firmly on Hikaru's shoulder, bowing his head.

"It's not fair," he whimpered again, lifting his hand to bury his face in it. His breath left him in a watery, shuddering gasp, crackling past the blockage in his throat.

"His heart is failing. There is no fair or unfair here," Kyouya muttered, stoic and blunt as ever.

If he weren't so damn numb he would have leapt to his feet and delivered the most emotional blow he could muster to the Shadow King's face. Judging by the sudden terrified silence, the entire Host Club had expected the same thing.

"Kyouya-senpai, don't be so cruel," Haruhi spoke from the back, turning her troubled, lost gaze to him.

Hikaru ignored them and returned one palm to his own chest so that he could feel the pounding simultaneously.

"Our heartbeats used to feel the same. I always checked when he came back from the hospital. But now, his is too weak."

No one spoke until Hani let out a wail and Mori scooped him up into his arms. Tamaki squeezed the twin's shoulder once and let go, heading toward the door. The others followed suit. When they were all gone, they left behind the stiff, uncomfortable feeling that had left them all rigid while they stood around him.

"I'm sorry that I was out with Haruhi. I should have been with you. I should have… I should have known..."

He gave up on tracking the rhythmic beating in their chests and instead grasped one of Kaoru's cold hands in his own two—

And Kaoru's fingers moved to stroke his brother's skin weakly.

Hikaru broke into sobs then and couldn't stop because he knew. That was their final, absolute goodbye.

He could practically feel himself breaking in two when the heart monitor's beep flattened and connected into a continuous hum.

They were not one; they had never been one. Instead, they overlapped, gave half of themselves to each other. Kaoru would take three halves with him to the grave.

Several doctors poured into the room and shoved him out apologetically as he screamed urgently to stay. He stood stunned outside of the door, mouth clamped shut and hands shoved in his pockets.

Eventually, he dragged himself out to the waiting room where his friends sat, and they immediately lifted their heads to observe him.

"Hikaru-kun? How is he?"

They were all so afraid by his presence, because nothing but Death could separate the Hitachiin twins.

Hikaru couldn't fool himself, no matter how he tried. Kaoru was as good as gone. However, logic shoved itself down his throat, screaming that mere intuition was not valid,and just look at the facts.

"I… I don't know. They forced me to leave when he flatlined…"

He could feel the waterworks in his system warming up again, so he lowered himself to the ground, quaking with anticipation of tears and panic.

He sat with legs crossed and head buried in his hands, taking deep and steady breaths to counter the franticness growing inside of him.

The tears flowed again, forcing heaves and wails from his chest. Two pairs of arms simultaneously encircled his shoulders, and he couldn't help but lean into the bodies attached. He recognized, albeit subconsciously, that they had all gathered around him to silently strengthen him.

It didn't matter, though, he realized as a doctor came out to give him the terrible news. Especially as the crowd of hosts parted, he knew that from that point on, he would always be half-empty.


Was it terrible? Was it pretty sweet? I don't know. So tell me.