Death By A Peel


A/N: This is just something silly that came to me late last night…Not for Arthur Branch fans.
"What a tragedy." Captain Cragen bowed his head, frowning.

Elliott inspected the body of the late District Attorney splayed out across the courthouse steps. "What's the cause of death?"

"He hit his head when he fell." Olivia relayed somberly.

"Poor guy." Elliott knelt down next to Branch's unmoving corpse. "He never saw that banana peel coming."

Olivia shook her head. "What an undignified way to die."

"Is this the peel that did it?" Elliott asked, picking up a plastic bag they'd labeled 'evidence'. Inside was a crumpled banana peel, a faint shoe impression left by the late District Attorney.

"Yes." Cragen frowned, crossing his arms.

"Moments like this are a perfect example of why littering is a crime." Munch spoke up, looking over his tinted glasses. "People can get hurt."

Elliott angrily frowned. "Do we have any clues about the identity of the litterbug?"

"No," Olivia sighed sadly. "And the crime scene guys didn't get any prints off the peel."

"The guilty party will never see justice." Elliott growled, Branch's remains being zipped up in a body bag.

"It's a dark day for the criminal justice system." Cragen agreed somberly.

"Someone needs to alert the D.A.s office." Olivia said with a frown. "I'm sure they'll be devastated by the loss."

"He was a pillar in the law community." Cragen sat down on the courthouse steps, sighing loudly. "The city will never be the same."

Olivia sat down with a wistful smile. "Do you know what I'll miss the most about him?"

"What?"

"The little talks of encouragement." Olivia smiled at the memories. "Once when I was having a tough time on a case, Branch told me that it wasn't my fault the perp was slicker than a greased hog."

Everyone frowned. "What does that mean?"

Olivia shrugged, blinking back tears. "I don't know."

"And now we'll never know." Elliott said bitterly, watching Arthur Branch's body being carried away.


Alex Cabot walked into her boss's office, frowning. "Have you heard the terrible news?"

"Yes." Liz nodded gravely, crossing her arms.

"I can't believe it." Alex sat down with a sigh. "I can't believe he's gone."

"Death is a hard thing to accept, Alexandra."

Alex shook her head. "Olivia said he died instantly…At least he didn't suffer."

"I think you should go down there." Liz began. "You need to make sure the evidence is collected properly…We wouldn't want anything useful to become fruit of the poisonous tree." Alex winced at Liz's bad choice of words. "No pun intended, of course." Alex nodded, standing up and leaving the office. Once the door had closed, Liz reached into her desk drawer and broke a banana off from the bunch, peeling it with a wicked smirk.

THE END…


A/N: Reviews, pretty please. (And yes, the title was a pun.)