A/N: A little fic I started… well I found it in one of my files and I was like 'when did I write this?' then I changed it up a bit (well actually a lot!) and I thought I'd post it up… though until I'm finished This Time Around I can't really update often on this story… I hope you like it! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
I feel incredibly stupid, granted I'm not, but sometimes you just feel stupid and right now I do. Why? Because I'm actually writing in an offending female stereotypical object! Also known as a diary, though I prefer to call it a journal it sounds less… girly. Yes, Hermione Granger, bookworm, know-it-all (as Ron likes to call me), smarty-pants (Lavender called me this once, reminds me of the chocolate smarties, hmmm a pair of pants made of chocolate? Sounds delicious, I bet the twins would love to steal this idea!), teacher's pet, realist, practical girl is writing in a book attempting to get my thoughts and feelings on paper.
Well how did it happen? A book convinced me. Surprise, surprise. After reading a book on self-therapy that my mother gave me I decided to write my frustration down. After all at times like these, when Voldemort is a common threat, one should be able to vent out their emotions. It's stupid really, any one can access to my thoughts! But thankfully I have found the most perfect book in Diagon Alley. The pages are charmed to look like one of my text books but after you say the password it reveals the real pages inside. I've got mine to look like an Arithmancy text book since no body bothers to read those. I like to think it's quite clever of me. My password is something you'd never guess I'd use for my password. It's a phrase, a lot of people started using the phrase or rather singing it at quidditch games. It's 'Weasley is my king'. The real phrase is 'Weasley is our king' but 'my king' sounds much better. I don't know why I decided to use it, it's just I thought no one would guess.
I don't think anyone realizes that I actually have a little thing for my best friend. Okay maybe a little more than a little thing… it's gotten so big that I might even suspect it to becoming to actually fancying RON! To think I would like one of my best friends! It's unthinkable but true nonetheless. It's shameful how flustered I get when he's around. That's why I like it when we fight then I can easily pretend I don't fancy him one bit. But of course it just ends up hurting me. Oh gosh I sound like a love-sick teenage girl! But it's nice to have it out in the open, to admit it even if it's only in writing. But the git (pardon the language) he doesn't even notice me! He didn't realize that I was a girl until forth year! How dense can you get? I hope sincerely that now seventeen and of age he will see me as a mature young lady that could very well be courted.
I still can't believe he went out with that slag (again pardon the language) Lavender Brown! He seems real interested in blonds who have bigger breast than their brains. First Fleur (yes she is smart but still acts like a bimbo!), and now Lavender. Thank Merlin he got rid of her!
I don't get why he doesn't see me as anything else than his best friend. Maybe it's my bushy hair? I tamed it down, or rather it tamed down itself over the years. Starting from forth year it started being more tolerable. Now during the summer it suddenly became curlier and less bushy. It's rather nice. Though I still have my dull brown eyes no comparison to Lavender's blue ones! I can't believe I'm here comparing myself to her! How low can I get? Now I have to call this book a diary it's becoming more of a diary than a journal!
Well no more, I will continue on trying to make it a journal. The serious stuff. Voldemort. I can not say his name out loud because unlike Harry I am afraid. It's pathetic I know but at least I can write it down. Voldemort reminds me of Hitler. Hitler wanted a perfect all-pure blooded Germans just like Voldemort wants all pure-blooded wizards and witches. Hitler killed Jews because they were Jews, just like Voldemort killed muggles because they are muggles. Hitler is a hypocrite because he was not a pure blooded German but he only wanted pure blooded Germans in Germany and Voldemort is not a pure-blooded wizard, (his father was a muggle) but he wants only pure blooded wizards and witches in the Wizarding World. See how alike they are? Oh I almost forgot! They have another thing in common. They are both horrible to look at! I hope just like Hitler Voldemort will suicide to save us the trouble.
But I think Harry want to kill Voldemort himself. Harry is so brave. If I had the whole world on my shoulders I would never be able to handle the pressure. But he is too noble! To dump Ginny because it would keep her safe is too Prince Charming-like. Chivalry is dead! This is the 20th century! Hello wake up Harry! Women can protect themselves! Ginny was crushed when Harry broke up with her. I would be too if the guy of my dreams since when I was five (when she heard the story of Harry Potter) dumped me for a stupid reason! Men are the most idiotic beings on the planet! They are ruining the world! See just look at all the people that created war! They were all male leaders! Ok sure there are heroes too… And yes I have nothing against my two best friends but still they need some sense knocked into them!
Ginny wrote me that she's going to wait for Harry. Though she's going to torture him by going out with many guys before hand! He deserves it… sort of. She's going for the jealous approach. It's rather funny to think about and Harry won't have a clue she will be doing it on purpose! She has even bought some revealing robes to 'tempt him' as she said.
Ginny has become so pretty over the years, you'd hardly recognize her as the shy little girl. In fact she's as devious as the twins! Her red hair is beautiful and luscious and I can't even compare mine to it! She has the most sparkling brown eyes, almost a golden hazel. And she has a body that Fleur would be proud of. Yes, Ginny Weasley is the Griffindor Beauty. Even the Slytherins are commenting on how they'd go out with her if she weren't a Griffindor!
I've been getting letters from Viktor again this summer, he's rather eager that I'm of age now and that I can apparate he wants me to visit him sometime in the summer. Well in all his letters he mentioned it. But mother and father said no, I'm kinda glad. I've never been to Bulgaria and I don't think I can apparate that far! It'll take all the energy out of me or I'll leave my eyebrows behind like Ron did. He was disappointed but he just sent me a letter that he will be touring around Europe for quidditch games. He says he'll be sending me tickets for me and my friends to watch his game. I know Harry will be thrilled being such a fan of quidditch, he really needs a time off from all the work he has been doing for the research of horocruxs.
It's so weird that I won't be going back to Hogwarts! That I won't be able to be Head Girl! Professor McGonagall informed me that I was to be Head Girl and that Phillipe Craving was to be Head Boy. I was hoping it'd have been Ron… not that it was because we would be sharing our own common room or anything. It would have been better than sharing rooms with Lavender! I suppose it doesn't matter, Hogwarts isn't existing at the moment. Though after the war ends I hope it will be up and running again. Perhaps I'll even volunteer to be a professor for the first couple of years. Just think it by then I'll be in my twenties!
This summer is the last time in a long while where I will be not researching or fighting or doing something for the war. Harry told me and Ron to have time with family, while he is in Grimmauld Place reading and trying to figure out an item of Ravenclaw's that Voldemort could have gotten a hold of.
Ron is at the Burrow with Ginny. Haven't had any owls from him though… Harry told me Ron had owled him! I thought something had changed between us at Professor Dumbledore's funeral! I guess I misinterpret it. I mean he probably just comforting me because I was crying. Well I can't really expect much from him he's Ron after all! Well enough of that. I don't want to talk about him anymore. Okay maybe I do… Ron is so complicated! One minute I really think he might fancy me back and the next minute I think he hates my guts! Why can't he be like a book where I could easily read and understand? I wish boys came with manuals then maybe Ginny and I will have fewer problems. But alas they do not come with manuals so we'll have to do without them.
Anyways back to serious stuff. I really need to stop getting distracted this is after all a journal not a diary. Now, I owled Harry that I'll be coming to Grimmauld Place on August the 30th. He says that any time is fine. He insists I bring all the books I have with me, especially Hogwarts, a History: A Second Edition, a new book I got my hand on as soon as it was hot off the press. It's an interesting read, though I didn't get a chance to read all of it due to being on vacation with my parents in France. Really it was like their second honeymoon but they brought me along with them. It was a nice break from all the war planning that's been on my mind. But now I'm back and as worried as ever. Harry says he wants to find everything about Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and preferably Slytherin. He's trying to find anyone that's had direct contact with Voldemort that could pass him some kind of memory. Dumbledore's pensieve was given to Harry along with some other precious artifacts he had, the others were given to his brother. There are a lot of neat things Dumbledore had, many of them I haven't read about but I will get started on that so we know what their functions are. I'm almost excited; learning is something I always enjoyed. Like my father said, 'knowledge is best shared'.
Well it seems though my mother is keen on having me act more like a girl. She has went and bought a ton of things I will never be using. She got me some new robes that look scandalous! (she received help from Ginny) She also got me some beauty products I'm frightened to use, things called: 'Hair Spray 2000, one spray will keep your hair in the desired style! Just think it and you'll have it!' and 'Color-changing gloss, lip gloss that won't be a dull one color but ten colors to transform into! You'll never need another lip gloss with this handy tool!'. I haven't even gone through half the things she got for me. Mother understands that this is a crucial time so she thinks I should enjoy it while it lasts. 'You won't be seventeen forever!' she says. I'll be bringing the new products to Grimmauld Place because I promised Ginny that I'll share.
She told me the whole family will be going to Grimmauld Place before Bill's wedding, which is on the first day of September. His face had gotten better and a healer had done a charm so that only a faint trace of the scars is seen. Thankfully he is not a werewolf. Professor Lupin was the most grateful one, glad that no one had to suffer like he is. He also lives with Harry, has been ever since the funeral.
It's depressing to talk about this. I still can't believe Professor Dumbledore is dead! Not to mention that it was Snape, of all people, was who killed him! Professor Dumbledore was the one who trusted Snape, the one who brought him in! How could he turn his back on him? How could he betray us? I hate Snape as much as Harry and Ron do now. Can't trust him and never will. But enough about Snape.
It's weird, before Hogwarts I was a normal girl… well as normal as one can be when one was born gifted. But now I'm involved with murders, death, fighting, evil, and everything possible that I thought I'd never experience in my lifetime. It's scary but I'm ready to face it head on, for Harry, for Ron, for my parents, for everyone I love. Now it's getting a little too serious. I hope no body finds this and figures out the password.
Sometimes I dream that Ron or Harry or my parents will be dead. I'll come home and see their dead bodies littered on the ground and an evil being with two red eyes burning into me standing behind them. I can still hear the echo of his maniac laughter ringing in my head. I wake up sweating and breathing heavily. Sometimes there are objects thrown to the ground. I'm afraid but I can't show it and it's killing me. I can't tell my parents they hardly know what's going on, they don't even know about the school closing, hence all the stuff my mom bought me. I can't tell Ginny she already has a handful to worry about. All her family is involved with it somehow including the guy she loves and she has enough nightmares about the chamber of secrets. I can't tell Harry I mean he has the whole world on his shoulders I can't bear to let my burdens out on him. I can't tell Ron because he also is worried over everything. I don't want to put unneeded worries in people's minds. I think I'll just bear with it and write it down here, though it won't be as good as talking to someone. Maybe this journal idea wasn't so stupid after all. I hope I'll get through this year alive to write more.
(large ink streak across the page)
Oops sorry… Pig just came in from the open window. Of course this means it's Ron's letter! Here I'll just stick it in here so I won't have to rewrite it.
Sorry I haven't been able to write much but between writing to Harry (he has to be lonely being with only Remus and all… though I hear Tonks visits often along with occasional visits from other order members) and getting out of the way for the wedding. It's ridiculous in here, everyone is running around. The twins are blowing things up and mum is yelling at everyone as usual, she doesn't seem to do anything else. You must be wondering why in bloody hell did I write then? Well Fleur has suddenly decided that she wanted three bride's maids and no one from France really wanted to fly in just to be a bride's maid and all her friends seems to be married. So she decided that you will be the third along with Ginny and Gabrielle. I hope you don't mind, you'll have to come early to the Burrow. I'll come by tomorrow to pick you up. Fleur needs to measure your sizes or something. Don't say no because Fleur will literally kill people. Sometimes I think she's scarier than You-Know-Who.
Well what did I expect? A fancy love letter? A nice greeting that asks if I am well? Nope. It figures it'd be about some kind of thing he wants from me. I'm trying not to sound bitter but please he didn't even ask how my summer was! I just might say no to spite him. But it's Fleur and Bill's wedding so I suppose I should say yes. So I simply wrote 'alright I'll do it' and sent Pig off on its way.
It'll be nice to see him again, and Ginny. Ginny has told me before that she was wearing a pale green dress, and Gabrielle was wearing a pale pink one (she's the maid of honor). I suppose I'll be wearing a dress as well… A DRESS! Oh just brilliant! I hate formal dresses! Though it seems to grab the male's attention… like in forth year. I guess I have to wear one either way. I hope I don't trip; I'm not very graceful in heels.
I can picture it:
Gabrielle in her pink dress walking oh so gracefully like the half-veela she is. Her long blonde hair, no doubt Ron admires it. Her slim figure and curves that are much more developed than mine even though she is a year younger than me!
Then Ginny in her green dress that looks wonderful with her red hair. She simply looks fabulous in green! Ginny is also taller than me with long legs that I couldn't even dream of. Well she's only about two inches taller than me… but still! She probably could pass as a supermodel! I don't think there are supermodels in the Wizarding World though… maybe I should look that up.
Then me… plain brown curls with a dress color that probably doesn't suit me well. Probably looking like a sumo wrestler compared to the other two! I bet I'll be looking down at my feet the whole time. And my shoes will catch on the dress and BAM! I'm down on the floor with the biggest bruise forming on my face!
I'll ruin the whole wedding! Oh maybe I should have said no… Why am I so paranoid? I never used to care about how I looked before! Okay… starting from when I realized the guys didn't know I was a girl in forth year I guess I started to care about my appearance a bit. But never like this! I can't believe I sound like Lavender!
Okay this book is officially turning into a diary! I'm going to stop writing its turning me into one of them! (them meaning Lavender) I'm going to get some sleep it's already over twelve and Ron is coming tomorrow! I seriously need to talk to Ginny about my rapid transformation into a Lavender-clone. Soon I'll be calling Ron Won-Won! Oh the sheer terror! The horror! The crude fate to turn into a Lavender-clone! Okay I have to stop over reacting… though it is dreadful to think about being turned into a Lavender-clone. It makes me shudder just thinking about it. I seriously need to get some sleep, getting deprived from my regular sleep time is causing me to act unlike myself, thus resulting me to talk like an insane woman that could very well be sent to St. Mugo's. Sleep.
A/N: It's a little short… because well it's a diary and the length varies a lot so sometimes there might be short ones and some might be super long. But bear with me as I try to update as often as I can, with two stories and school work I'm going to be pretty slow on updates… Ron and Hermione isn't my favorite couple it's actually James and Lily but I can never think of a good plot for a James and Lily story. Well I'll probably write one… someday!
Question: does Hermione sound OOC? I hope not… but I think she does!
Everyone knows what I'm going to say here… REVIEW! Because I want to know what you think! Your opinion means the world! So please, please, please review!