Disclaimer – I do not own Gundam Seed
written by: ohwhatsherface
Mu La Flaga stared at nothing in particular as he spoke to his fellow sick patient.
"I lost my memory. Or at least that's what I'm being told."
Athrun Zala directed his eyes towards his left, the direction in which the man once known as Commander La Flaga was resting in. The blond haired man on the bed on the other side of the room was staring into the white bed sheets as he sat cross legged on the soft mattress, clearly deep in though. Athrun tilted his head as much as he could in his condition and saw the older man looking down with a passive expression resting upon his aged and tired features.
"And I lost my face. I used to be quite the handsome one. Now I have this hideous scar, clashing around with my appearance."
The man who called himself Major Neo Roanoke smiled sadly, and then changed the path of his sympathetic gaze from the wrinkled bed sheet to the blue haired teenager on the other side of the room trying to heal his bandaged wounds.
"It's a pity really. War… It makes you lose so much." Mu turned his head back to his right and looked at the luminescent screen beside his bed. The small television set that was built into the wall had been set onto silent but the captions were printed on the bottom in bold white letters, telling them what whoever was on the screen was saying. The news was playing, going over all of the events that had been happening since the fall of Junius Seven to Earth. Mu continued on with his words. "War takes away our comrades, our friends, our families—" The man snorted acrimoniously. "—our morals." He grinned at Athrun with an expression written across his face the younger man's green eyes could not comprehend. "But I'm sure you'd know all about the 'morals part', right?" Mu chuckled dryly.
Athrun looked away, feeling guilty from the truth, and directed his green gaze to the off white-grey ceiling, still listening to the words being said to him.
"These pointless battles that we keep fighting because we're told to…"
Golden locks shook around when the Commander turned away swiftly, afraid that Athrun might see the sorrow and regret creeping onto his scarred face. His hands that were still tied together by now somewhat loose ties, clenched into tight fists and his knuckles faded into an unhealthy white. Memories of people who also took orders because he told them to flooded his remorseful mind; people like the Extendeds…Stellar and Auel, two of the many children forced into tragic lives.
"And because of the war, I lost my memory." The Commander's lips tugged into a small smile. "That woman…this ship's captain…" Mu closed his eyes, thinking very hard. "I know her…"
"You did." It was the first time Athrun said something since Mu began to speak about war and all the things it robbed from a person. All the words being said to Athrun were making the blue haired Coordinator think deeply.
Mu nodded slightly. "Yeah…tell me something, kid…Whenever I look at her, I get this feeling…And…" His expression displayed irritation, annoyance being shown in his sky blue eyes.. "And I get so aggravated because…because I can't remember her! I see her face when I sleep but I just—I just can't remember who she is!" He sighed dejectedly. "And it's so frustrating knowing that she's right in front of me but the memories…they're just so…"
"Out of reach?" Athrun supplied.
The Commander chuckled bitterly. "I suppose you would know all about how I'm feeling." He felt Athrun give him a pressing stare with confusion laced into it. "To want a woman so much…yet can't have them."
Mu shrugged and dropped the subject of women lost to them.
"I don't like sleeping." He shook his head. "…Especially now that I've seen this ship and all of the people on it. Whenever I close my eyes, I keep seeing people that I feel I should know…" Mu smiled at Athrun who was still lying on his bed, passive. "You're one of them you know." The blond man lowered himself back onto the bed. "And I see battle scenes…perhaps from a war. There was this one guy who I saw. I know he was a soldier. One glance at him and you could tell."
"How so?" asked Athrun in a small voice.
"War," he simply responded. "It took some stuff from him. You can see it in his face…in him." Mu looked at the screen with resentment, tearing his gaze from different parts of the room after others. "The war took one of his legs, one of his arms and one of his eyes…" He chuckled bitterly. "But in those little memories I have with people's voices, you can hear the other thing that he lost. The most important of them all…"
"What was that?" Athrun knew he was talking about. The Desert Tiger, the captain of the Eternal, Andrew Waltfeld, also a strong supporter of Lacus and the rest of the Clyne Faction. Captain Waltfeld was the only person Athrun could think of, who fit the criteria of lost body parts. He couldn't figure out the last thing taken away from the ex-ZAFT, though.
"A loved one."
They both lay in their assigned beds, staring at the ceiling as if it were something special. "War is quite the thief…" Athrun said quietly.
Mu quietly let out a regretful laugh. "I know…that bastard. I can't believe it took my handsome face…and my memories." He sighed. "But hey, no soldier comes back from a war not missing something that's kind of vital."
"That's not true," Athrun countered half heartedly.
He snorted. "Right. I've seen the way you and that Representative woman look at each other."
Athrun stayed silent.
"Tell me something, soldier of ZAFT… Since the beginning of humanity and war, those people who commit themselves to their militaries like you and I have all been sacrificing bits and pieces of themselves to obtain what they see is the 'greater good'. I lost my face and my memory."
Mu looked at Athrun's still form.
"Will you sacrifice your heart?"