So, About Babies
Genre: Humor, general
Characters: Aria Destler, Erik
Summary: Aria has another question for her father, and at the most inopportune time. Companion vig to 'Mommy, How Did You Meet Daddy?'.
So, About Babies
Daddy was worried, and she didn't know why.
He's been pacing for the last three hours. Well, he's sit for a second, and bury his face in his hands, but then he'd get right back up and pace again.
It was all rather perplexing for her.
She sighed, and shook her head. In absolute boredom she watched as the movement made her ebony curls bounce and sway. More time passed, and she tried to find ways to entertain herself, yet the clock chimed again, warning her of how much time had gone by. She turned her head to study her brother out of the corner of her eye. Hoping that maybe he'd give her a clue, she took in his rigid posture, and unblinking golden eyes. He wasn't going to be any fun.
She sighed again.
No one ever told her anything.
Her dad got up to pace again, and she was ready to scream.
They've been siting here for hours! The sun had long since set, and she was sure that she'd fall asleep if she wasn't so curious. Mommy had been in her room with Dr.Lefarve for a very long time now. He was a nice doctor she decided, even if he was a little chubby. Yet the old man was nice, and he always gave her brother and her sweets.
That was the other reason she was staying awake.
Cutting through the silence, was Christine's scream again. Aria jumped, even thought the sounds have been coming from her mother's room in regular intervals for the last few hours. She watched out of the corner of her eyes, as daddy's head shot up out of his hands, and his golden eyes shinned with concern. He really has been a bundle of nerves ever since that mean lady called a mid-wife kicked him out of his room. Aria shuddered. That old lady gave her the creeps. Aria shrugged, she figured that mommy was just getting shots, she always cried when she got shots. Although not for long, because Dr.Lafarve always gave her extra sweets.
She heard mommy scream again, and Erik looked in concern at his kids. "Charles, perhaps you should take your sister upstairs. It is getting late, and you both have studies tomorrow."
Aria didn't mind going to bed right now, just as long as Dr.Lefarve was sure to leave the candy for them. She got up out of her chair, and fixed her dress as she waited for Charles to accompany her. Yet Charles was still sitting down, his arms crossed over his chest as he stuck his chin out stubbornly. She recognized the stance, and she sat back down with a sigh. It appears as if she was going to be stuck here for a while. Charles said in the voice that he had inherited from his father. "I'm not going anywhere until the baby is born."
Baby? Aria wondered.
She was wide awake now.
So that was what all of this was about? She knew that mommy was preg-ner-ent, she had learned that when she asked why mommy's stomach was getting so fat. Ever since she became preg-ner-ent she had been eating the oddest combinations of food. Like roasted chicken and fish, with cheese and peanut butter all over everything! Her stomach recoiled in rebellion just remembering those disgusting dinners where her usually petite mother scarfed down enough food to make a full grown man shudder.
Aria hadn't been truly hungry in months, and her mother had taken to eating her meals when they weren't around.
Aria decided then and there that she never wanted to be preg-ner-ent. You started acting too weird. first you cried at the stupidest things, and then you got mad at the slightest provocation. That part had been scary. Daddy mad, that she could handle. Mommy mad, that was never a pleasant experience.
That's when you knew that you were really in trouble.
So, mommy was having a baby right now? That's what all of the screaming was for?
She frowned thoughtfully, now thoroughly puzzled. How did the baby come out? Was the baby in mommies tummy? Was mommy getting the baby right now? Was the doctor giving her the baby? Aria was curious now.
A curious child is a dangerous thing.
She squirmed in her seat, she wanted to ask, and get some answers, but she had learned from experience that grownups were never very keen on questions. That was in a good mood, when nothing was happening. A little warning voice in the back of her head was telling her to wait. She sighed, and turned too look over at her daddy.
He looked as if he wanted to chew his nails off, but was refraining from doing so.
She tried really hard not to laugh at the mental image.
More time past, and that little voice in the back of her head was getting harder to suppress. So she did what she always did. She ignored the voice completely, and asked, "Daddy? Where do babies come from?"
Erik at first hadn't really been listening to his daughter, and was totally prepared to cast her question aside. Yet once the full implications of her question sank in he did an about face and stuttered at his daughter. "B-b-b babies?"
Aria frowned at her father's stuttering speech, and sighed. She hadn't said anything to warrant that reaction. Mommy was right. Men did not know anything. She wondered if she could sneak in the room and ask mommy. At least then she would get a mature answer. She decided to repeat her question in hopes of helping her father along. "I said, where do babies come from? The baby had to get in mommies tummy somehow."
Erik was now blushing a bright red, the cherry colors did well to compliment the severe white of his mask. "Um . . .well . .. "
Charles picked up on his father's unease, and tuned in to the conversation. This would prove to be most enlightening.
Erik meanwhile was snapped out of his usually all consuming worry for his wife, and thrown into the world of 'Potentially embarrassing questions at the most inopportune times.' It was a awful place, and unfortunately he was a very frequent visitor. He sighed, and almost told her to go ask her mother, yet that most continent back door was closed to him this time. Oh what to do, what to do . . .
Nothing came to mind.
He sighed, and with all of the dignity that a cornered parent could possess, he took the cowards way out.
"There is this bird called a stork."
He should have known that that was not the way to go. Aria actually frowned, and she cupped her pale chin in her hands as her eyes narrowed in thought. "What does a bird have to do with a baby?" She asked, her voice covered in confusion.
Absolutely nothing, but she didn't need to know that for quite a while. Never if he anything to say about it. "Aria, just let me finish."
Next to Aria Charles held back a snicker.
Erik realized that both kids were waiting for him to finish, and sighing he went on. He knew stealing that cat would come back to haunt him. Karma just wasn't on his side. No use stalling Erik continued, "When a boy and a girl ask nicely for a baby, the stork hears-"
Ever full of questions Aria asked, "-Does it have to be a boy and a girl?"
Erik blanched and hastily answered, "YES! No other way." He gave his best former Phantom glare for emphasis.
Aria seemed to get the point, for she nodded seriously, and waited for her father to continue. It did explain allot though. That had to be what mommy and daddy were doing all of the time.
Erik went on, "And then the stork hears, and decides to bring a baby." . . . At least he thought that that was how the story went, he had never really heard it all of the way through.
Aria nodded her understanding, and a sudden idea hit her. "Does that mean that I can ask for a baby? I have a doll, but Samantha is porcelain, and I am always to scared to break her. I don't have to be so careful with a baby!"
Erik started at the mention of Aria having a baby. That would never happen on his watch. "No. You can never ask for a baby."
Aria looked hurt. "Why not?"
Erik softened his tone, "You have to be married to have a baby." He resisted the urge to close his eyes, and he silently prayed that she wouldn't challenge him on that one. That was the last conversation he needed to be having.
He need not have worried, for Aria's face had scrunched up in distaste, and she said quite vehemently, "Eww! The last thing I want with me is a boy!"
Erik foolishly clung to the hope that she'd hold that opinion forever, "You remember that too." He advised her, and she nodded her head vigorously. Well, it was worth a shot.
Aria nodded and smiled. "I promise."
Now back to the story. "Now, when you ask very nicely the stork decides to bring you a baby."
"Oh." Aria paused, and considered. "Then why does mommy get fat?"
"Big," Erik corrected her. "The last think you want to call a hormonal pregnant woman is that she is fat. But yes, mommy gets fat to let you know that the stork is coming."
"How come you don't get fat?"
Because I look awful fat, and thank goodness I am a guy, and I don't have to deal with that curse. Reminding himself to tell Christine how much he loved her, Erik told his daughter, "Because mommy is a girl, so she's the one to get fat."
"That's not fair!"
Erik tried not to shrug. Oh well. It was just one more thing to keep her away from boys . . . "It's just the way things work."
Aria heard mommy scream again, and she started. Was the stork poking her mother's eyes out? It must be one really mean bird. She gulped, and once again hardened her resolve to never have kids of her own. They just couldn't be worth it. "Why is mommy screaming then?"
Erik frowned, considering this. Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea after all. Maybe he should have just told her the truth, anatomically inexplicit and all, all the while blushing to the tips of his ears.
He saw Aria's innocent little face, and he sighed. Where was a chandelier when he needed one?
Aria was still expecting an answer.
"I'm not sure, "Erik answered, and that was the truth. He really didn't know how to answer that one.
Aria took his explanation anyway, and reviewed, "So you get a baby when you ask a bird called the stork for one, and then mommy gets fat as a sign that the baby is coming?"
Erik nodded. That was how the tale went? Right?
He sighed, 'Oh how the mighty have fallen.'
Aria looked at her father in concentration. She had the sneaking suspicion that he was leaving something out.
Hours latter a very relieved Erik held his new born son with a glow on his face that few others could rival. Charles stood on the tips of his small toes, and tried to reach up high enough to see the baby. The child gave a small whoop when he saw the baby. "I have a brother!"
Aria tried not to groan, now she had two of the horrendous creatures to torment her.
Having seen her fill of the baby, Aria went over to where her mother was resting with a content smile. Aria grinned at her mother, and hugged her. Christine's smile grew as she returned her daughter's hug, and kissed the top of her ebony head.
Aria pulled away, and beaming she exclaimed happily, "Mommy! Guess what?"
"I learned about babies today!"
Christine blanched, and Erik winced. He was hoping that Aria wouldn't mention that. Oh well, Christine was tired, with all luck hopefully she'd forget this by the next day.
As usual, his luck went flying out the door.
"Yet I think that daddy left a few things out. He's not the one who gets all fat and weird, so I want you to tell me about babies!"
Christine blinked in surprise shock, and blushing red to the roots of her chestnut hair she began, "Yeah . . .About babies . ."
Okaaaaaaaaaaaay. The bunny bit when I finished off "His Date With The Phantom's Daughter," And then this Vig sort of wrote itself.
So there it is.
Review lots, and I;ll put another vig up.