Disclaimer: Um…they're not mine? This is not the best fic to say something funny in front of, so just believe me and move on, okay?

I can't believe it. This is my first angst fic.

I seriously never thought I would write one of these. It's not like I was particularly angsty at the time or anything, either. I was just…inspired. Actually, my inspiration is due to By Grace Alone's fic, Artemis and Holly, which I was reading again. (Thanks!)

In any case, this is actually an angst fic, coming from me. (If you're reading this, refloc, don't laugh at me!) And no, I didn't get my moody seventeen-year-old brother to write it. (I wouldn't take credit for other people's fics…apart from the fact that I don't actually have a moody seventeen-year-old brother…) Oh, no, I'm being ridiculous again! Must stop…must not make people laugh…which is not good right before a sad fic…must stop…

So…despite all the odds, I am now presenting…my first angst fic, Clichés.

Isn't it funny how sometimes, despite all the evidence to the contrary, we insist on expecting that things will turn out like a fairy tale? Especially since the famous clichés are usually quite impossible.

Take, for example, the one about happy endings. Granted, there are sometimes cases where things like this happen—the perfect life, where everything is exactly as everyone wants it to be. Really, though, how often can it work out? Normally, there is always one more villain to take care of, or another Prince Charming to make trouble.

Or there's my story, which involves the rain. It is a known fact that whenever someone is sad, whether in the movies, music, or books, it starts to rain. And yet, that day, I found myself standing in the bright summer sun, with my world turned completely upside down.

I still can't believe I did what I did. It was so unlike me. My character, my personality, was shattered into a million irreparable pieces. Not that it wasn't already broken, I suppose. It started cracking when I fell deeply, hopelessly and irrevocably in love with her.

Holly Short. The elf I love, and never expected to love. The red-headed, hazel-eyed beauty who often appeared in my dreams, framed in a background of gold.

I first met her when I kidnapped her. I was a selfish little boy back then, consumed by my desire for money, unable to dream of anything but that gold. Aurum est potestas, I constantly repeated to myself. Gold is power. It was my life—no, more. It was my eternity.

Until I started falling for Holly, that is. Then my personality changed. I was no longer the monster I had been. Slowly but surely, I began to change. Everything was not about money, or power. It was a big part of me, true, but it wasn't all, as it had been at first. Now, kindness and justice had a grip on a small corner of me, and they weren't going to let go. At first, I wished they would. I couldn't understand why I felt this way, and I hoped it would change. But wishing never did anyone any good. Another cliché proved wrong.

With time, I came to accept the new part of me—welcomed it, even. And with time, it grew to fill much of me. Now my life, it seemed, had turned itself around. The 'spark of decency', as Holly once called it, was a roaring fire, which was eating up the logs of criminal desire, until there was just a little bit left. I had become a mostly good person.

At the same time, of course, I was falling more deeply in love with Holly every day. I ignored it for a while, just as I had ignored my good side. But it eventually took me over. It was hard to act normally when I was around her all the time. We'd go on a mission, and have that one split second of time when we were alone, and it took almost all of my self control not to just kiss her and get it over with. I knew I couldn't, though. A mission definitely wasn't the right time to break the news. So I bided my time, waiting, hoping that I would get a chance to say something soon.

When she started occasionally talking to me just for fun, I was ecstatic. There was even a particularly embarrassing moment when Butler caught me jumping up and down in my room, and I had to fabricate an entire tapestry of lies so that he wouldn't suspect why I was so happy. I thought I might finally have my moment to tell her.

But I still held back. I wasn't quite sure why—maybe it was the fact that every time I tried, I got nervous, or it didn't seem right, or someone else showed up to unintentionally ruin things. Whatever the reason, I didn't tell her, and I got more and more frustrated because I seemed unable to. Here I was, Artemis Fowl the Second, genius, powerful, controlled as I was, and I couldn't tell a girl I was in love with her.

Finally I decided something had to be done. The next time I saw Holly, I vowed, I would tell her how I felt.

In a few weeks, she came over. I duly prepared myself to talk to her. But the problem was that I didn't know what to say. At length I came to the conclusion that I had to do whatever seemed right at the right moment. In other words, I would follow my instincts. I had always heard that that was what one did with love.

So I waited for a lull in our conversation, and then I did something that I am still trying to fathom the reason for.

I kissed her. There was no introduction, no witty or tender talk, not even a mention of love. We had both been acting completely normal, and I just had to go and do that. It must have seemed completely random to her.

In any case, she kissed me back, and for a moment I was happy. But she suddenly pulled away. I looked at her, puzzled, and her eyes met mine with sorrow in them.

"I'm sorry, Artemis. I…we can't."

I was shocked. "Why not?"

"Think about it. You're the genius, aren't you?"
"Well, maybe love has blinded my mind!" I said angrily. She had kissed back. That had to mean something. And yet, here she was, telling me we couldn't.

Holly sighed. "Look. Look at us." She gestured, looking helpless but at the same time determined.

"I don't see anything wrong." I was being stubborn and I knew it, but I couldn't help myself.

"We're from two different worlds. I'm a fairy. You're a human. Your race doesn't even know I exist! And I know neither one of us could leave our home to be with the other." I was about to protest, but she continued. "Even if we had the courage, it wouldn't be good for us. Leaving our family and friends—we wouldn't have much left."

"We'd have each other!"

"But it wouldn't be enough." She turned away, and I was desperate. I wanted to say something to change her mind, something that would make her see how much I needed her. But I didn't know what.

After a moment, she looked back at me. "I'm sorry." Then she started walking away. I followed her like a lost sheep, thinking hard, trying to come up with something that would keep her here. Nothing came from my usually ready mind.

We got outside, into the field, and she turned around. "I think it's best if…" She swallowed. I could see she was reluctant to say it, and that by itself made me dread it as though it were the end of the world. Which, for me, it was.

Holly looked at me. "I think it would be best for both of us if I left. And didn't come back."

My brain couldn't take in what she was saying. It wasn't possible. She couldn't actually mean she was leaving me.

"Goodbye, Artemis. I…I love you." She kissed me, and I savored the moment, which seemed to last a million years, and at the same time only a millionth of a second.

Holly broke away from me, firing up her wings. The next second she was gone, soaring off into the blue, blue sky.

I stood there for a long time, my numb brain attempting to take in the fact that she had left. When it finally did sink in, my eyes filled with tears and spilled over. It isn't even raining! I thought bitterly. If I had been in a better mood, I might have laughed at myself then. Instead, I just stood in the green field, with a sparkling brook beside me, on a bright, warm summer day, with birds singing in my ears and not a cloud in the sky. I stood there, in the hot sun, with tears rolling down my cheeks, thinking about another cliché gone wrong.

A/N: Please tell me in your REVIEW (chokecoughHINTHINTcoughchokecough) if that was pretty good or extremely stupid. There's a fine line between the two.