I've got no idea what this is or where it came from, but it's here. Bit odd and probably doesn't make sense. The story behind this is that Harry turned Dark after defeating Voldemort.

Mum and Dad are my favourit peepell. I love them, cos they is always good to me even when they hav got to go away for a long tym. They tell me I'm good and always lissen to unkel Venen, and they are my famly. Sumtyms, Mum and Dad take me to holuday to the beech and we swim. Dad says I am a veree good swimer. Mum tells me storys abowt wen I am litell, and she giffs me sum chocklat biskits for my diner. She kises me all the tym even mor then ant Petoonya kises Dudlee or anything.

Ant Petoonya never says my mummy was bad or my daddy was druhnk and unkel Venen says they loved me beefour they dyed in the car crash. Twoday is my mum's burthday she is 10 yeers old witch is veree old. My mum is pritty. She has got red hair and green eyes like myn. She ways 1 stone and she likes to shop like ant Petoonya but she is not meen. She comes to my skooll and tells my teecher Ms Henley that I am a good boy aren't I, just like Dudly. My dad he loves to play football with me and he says I am a good player to.

Mrs Dursley,

This is Harry's third essay in my class. As you can see, he lacks the grammar and spelling skills of a boy in the second class. I am quite concerned as well as to his stories about his parents. I would like to arrange a meeting so that we can further discuss Harry.

Ms Henley

Sometimes my dad tells me I can live with him if I want to. I do want to live with him, coz uncle Vernon is not very nice sometimes and I kno my dad would always be nice and let me watch football matches when Leeds is playing Birmingham coz Leeds won and they are my favourit team. Dad likes Manchester coz they are always a good team and uncle Vernon likes Chelsea and my mum likes Fulham but I like Leeds coz they are not always so good like me. They loose a lot and uncle Vernon says they are nobody and I think oneday they will go to the World Cup and my dad will take me so we can sit by the pitch and eat chips and my dad will buy me the Leeds United uniform like I saw in the shop with aunt Petunia. I think I wood like that.

Mrs Dursley,

As you can see, Harry's spelling has improved greatly since the beginning of the semester, but I am very concerned with his grammar. He is severely behind, as he has missed many lessons due to illness. I understand that Harry has been ill, but none of the work I sent has been completed. This is not a good way to prepare for entry to the fourth class. I would like to discuss his topics for writing as well. Please give me a ring so that we can arrange for a meeting.

Mrs Sweep

Mum's got a music box that sounds like tiny bells. She lets me listen when I'm good. She never says I'm failing school or will never go to uni. My mum says I will go to Oxford and be really clever and then I will be a brilliant football player on the Whites and be like Gordon Strachan, who is a really good football player.

My dad says never to listen to Dudley when he takes the mick out of me, because Dudley is fat and not nice to anyone. I didn't say Dudley was fat and stupid, my dad did. I promise.

Mrs Dursley,

I am rather concerned over your nephew, Harry. He seems to be a disturbed boy, and often takes to having angry fits during the day. He does not have many friends and does not apply himself to his schoolwork. At first, I thought he simply needed time to become acclimatised to the fourth year, but that is most certainly not the case. Above I have included an example of a short paragraph Harry wrote for English. The topic to write under was "When I Grow Up". Please note that Harry is a bit behind in his grammatical skills, namely punctuation. I will see you on Parents' Night.

Mrs Thompson

Once there was a boy who had no parents. He was a lost boy and had to live with his evil uncle and aunt who were really a witch and wizard in disguise. The boy always had to cook and clean because he was not a good boy. His marks were very poor and his aunt said he would do horribly on his GCSEs if he did not learn to write properly. This boy thought he was a very good writer but he would never tell anyone because then they would say he was terrible and a freak. Boys are supposed to play football but this boy could never play football because he was always working in the castle. His cousin was like a baby elephant and never liked to play football at all. The boy thought football was better than school and GCSEs.

Sometimes the boy dreamt about his parents. He made up stories about them and spelt everything wrong but he tried very hard. Sometimes the stories were real to him and he forgot about the castle with no football and loads of cleaning. Everything was always clean in the castle because his aunt did not like a mess. The boy would Hoover everyday for his aunt because she told him to. At night the boy would try to do his homework because he could not finish it at day. He was always sorry when his work was not finished next day in school and he was sure the teacher hated him because he never did his homework.

The teacher told him he could get all As on his GCSEs. The teacher never had to take GCSEs before because they were not made yet and the boy did not want to take them. The boy thought he was sure to get all Gs and fail and his aunt and uncle would be very angry. He wanted to be on a football team when he was younger but now he knows he never can be so he does not want to anymore. The boy does not know why his teacher is telling him about the GCSEs in the fifth class. They are ages away as he is only ten and you've got to be 14 at least to take the GCSEs.

His mum and dad never took the GCSEs and maybe that is why they are dead now.

Mrs Dursley,

I am writing to you in concern over Harry Potter. Harry is in my class in the fifth year. He seems to have quite the aversion to commas and is behind in his writing. As his teacher, I am doing my best to prepare him for his GCSEs, which he will be sitting in year eleven. Harry refuses full stop to practise his writing and has repeatedly told me that 'I just don't understand'. I had hoped to impress upon him the importance of these tests, but he will not cooperate.

I would like to bring up as well his odd writing style and the content of his essays. I have found several of them rather disturbing. They are full of flippant remarks, bitterness, and fanciful stories – such as the one I have included with this note. I have questioned Harry several times about his choice in subject, but he stubbornly repeats that I do not understand.

I was hoping we could set up a time to meet so we may further discuss your nephew and his move to sixth form.


Mr David E. Preston

Found these in the boy's old things. He was not a bad student. Remember that. He did have a nasty thing with commas though. Couldn't convince him to use them for the life of me.

His essays upset me when he was younger, but I think I am beginning to understand them now. He was not a bad boy. Do not think he was. He was very obedient and kind, though he did have his darker side. He had a nasty temper and a sharp tongue.

He was not a bad boy, until we made him into one. We should never have allowed those people to take him. I fear it has been his downfall.

I hope you can read these and see the boy Harry Potter was. He was not particularly angelic, but he had a good spirit inside him. He was not always the way he is known as now – the way you see him – a Dark Lord. I apologise to everyone who was made to suffer through Vernon's and my own misdeeds. I ask only that you think about the little boy who could not spell uncle, and the naughty child who stayed up late in his cupboard to peek at the football matches on the television. He always wanted to be a football player.

He kicked far left of the goal this time.

Petunia Dursley


Reader Responses

I remember him when he was a first year at Hogwarts. He was a sweet boy. It is such a terrible thing that he was lost so young to the Dark. Surely a tragedy for both the wizarding and Muggle worlds alike.

Ms Pamelia Purkins of Dover

Potter was never so bad as the Dark Lord, but he was just as terrible. Another youth lost, another tragedy.

Mr Elphias Dodge of Kensington

It made me cry.

I was chopping onions.

Eloise Midgen of Glasgow

I'm not a supporter of Potter the way he was in his last years as a Dark Wizard, but he inspired me before that. Such a brave, sad boy. The world wept on the day he took his first steps to darkness.

Sophia McKinsley of Middlesex

Truly pathetic. I have found more interesting articles in The Full and Complete History of the Sponge.

Severus Snape of Manchester

Always knew he was barking.

Fred Weasley of Belfast