"Hello?" Taylor asked, pounding on the front of the house.

"Ok, no one's home, let's go." Chad said.

"No, HELLO?" Taylor called again, knocking on the front door.

"Man this is worse than that time I went camping with that foreigner." Chad said.

Shows Chad sitting on a log in the middle of a desert.

"Are you sure we're safe?" He asked.

"Yeah yeah...we're fine." Osama Bin Laden said, pulling out a pack of marshmallows.

"I've got S'mmmmooooores." He said.

"I...I really feel uncomfortable." Chad said.

"Oh come on, losen up, I've got Mouse Trap." He said, digging through a back-pack.

"Oh God." Chad sighed.

"God? INFIDEL!" He shouted.

"What?" Chad asked.


"Sure I'd love some." Chad smiled.

Cuts back.

"Well maybe there..." Taylor began, but suddenly the door flew open.

"May I help you?" An old man in a wheelchair asked.

"Hi...uhhhhh, I was wondering if the sheriff's home?" Taylor asked.

"No, but your more than welcome to come wait for him." He said.

"Thank you so much." Taylor said.

"He's gotta stay out here though." He said.

"Fine." Chad said, slapping Taylor's butt.

She smiled and stepped into the house.

"So, why are you looking for the sheriff?" He asked.

"He has our friend." Taylor said.

"You don't say." He said, looking at a crack in the wall and nodding.

Shows a dark figure pass behind Taylor and the old man.

"Man...screw this." Chad said, sneaking into the house.

"Bathroom...bathroom." He said, looking around.

Shows Taylor sitting on an old couch.

"Do you know when he's gonna be back?" She asked.

"Well I don't know, but I do got a phone, so you can call him." He said.

"I don't know his number." She said.

"I've got it." He said.

"Oh, ok." She said, walking in the room.

"Yup, and when Tommy gets here...dinner time, and I'm having dark meat tonight." He said to himself.


Shows Chad walk up to an old metal sliding door.


He checked behind him, nothing.

He slowly opened the door, reavealing a dark flight of stairs.

He shrugged and began to walk down them.

"Oh my God." He said, placing his hand over his mouth.

The basement smelled horrible, their were dead bodies, severed arms, legs, heads, fingers, and all sorts of gruesome things everywhere.

Chad began to back up when he bumped into a body hanging from a hook.

"This...this..." He began, but suddenly he reached in the hanging bodies back pocket, pulled out it's wallet, took the cash, stuffed it in his pocket and put the wallet back,"Is horrible"

He turned to leave, but noticed a door open a crack.

"Do I dare?" He asked himself.

He slowly approached it.

He reached out and began to slowly turn the door knob.

"Ok...one...two...three!" He exclaimed, throwing the door open.

He jumped back.

"Oh...my...god." He mumbled.

Inside of the closet were bags full of weed, crack, cocaine, countsless cases of beer, at least twenty kegs, boxes and boxes of cigarettes, boxes full of Playboy magazines, sacks full of money, and hundreds of guns mounted on the wall.

Chad's eyes filled with tears,"You are up there." He said, looking up.

He began to chew his nails,"I can't leave without this stuff."

"I...I gotta go get the bus...or Troy...or something." He said, beginning to sweat.

Suddenly a dark figure stepped behind him, a large hammer in hand.

"Ok, so I go get Troy, Taylor distracts the old man and we get all this stuff out." He said.

He grinned and began to back up, but suddenly he bumped into someone.

He turned around slowly.

A large man wearing a horrific looking mask was standing in front of him.

Before Chad could even get a good look at his face, the man bashed Chad in the head.

"Owww, mother fu.." He began as he punched the man in the nose.

He stumbled backwards and dropped the hammer.

He rubbed his nose and looked up, a furious look in his eyes.

"Oh sh..." Chad began, but the camera cut him off.

Cuts back to Taylor in the living room, talking to the old man.

"Well he's not answering." She said, placing the phone on the hook.

"Well that's to bad." The old man said, getting ready to call for Leatherface.

"TAYLOR!" Someone shouted.

"CHAD!" She shouted back.

Suddenly the metal door came flying open and Chad came rushing out.

"The hell you doin in my house?" The old man asked.

"SCREW YOU!" Chad shouted.

"Chad, what's wrong?" She asked.

"We gotta go, these people are psychos!" He said, sliding a table in front of the door.

"Don't you go movin my stuff now." The old man said.

"What are you talking about?" She asked.

"This really big guy's after me cause I tried to steal his drugs and porn and stuff." He said.

"Chad that the..." She began, but suddenly the sound of a chainsaw starting cut them both off.

"Is that a...chainsaw?" She asked

"No no..that's a hair dryer, just stay put." The old man said.

"Go to hell, lets go!" Chad said grabbing her hand.

Suddenly the metal door slid open.

Chad and Taylor both froze.

They stood there for a few seconds, but no one came out.

Suddenly a giant man with a chainsaw came rushing out.

He flipped over the table Chad shoved in front of the door, and went crashing through the floor.

"DAMN IT!" The old man shouted.

Taylor and Chad stood in silence.

"Do...do we run?" He asked.

"I...I guess so." She said, taking off running.


Leatherface pulled himself up through the floor, licked his chainsaw up and darted of after Chad and Taylor.

"RUN, RUN TAYLOR." Chad screamed.


"YOU GO THAT WAY!" Chad shouted, shoving her down a trail through the woods.

"CHAD..." She screamed, disappearing in the the woods.

"KEEP RUNNING BABE!" He shouted.

Suddenly he stopped and lit up a cigarette.

"Man...I needed my space." He said.

He stood still and smoked for a few mintes before the sound of a chainsaw caused him the dart off running.

He jumped over a fence post and continued to run, Leather however, tripped and went flying.

His chainsaw flew in front of him and he landed on his back, squealing and moaning uncontrollably.

Chad stopped running, he turned and stared at at Leatherface.

"That...that'll teach ya." He nodded.

Suddenly Leatherface sat up, an enraged look upon his face.

"Oh hell." Chad said, darting off back towards the house.

Shows the back door of the house.

"Hello?" Ryan called.

He stood at the door for a few seconds.

"Hello?" He called again.

He shrugged and stepped inside.

"Wow." He said, looking at the huge hole in he floor.

He continued towards a giant metal door.

"Hmmmm." He said, pulling it open.

He climbed the dark flight of stairs and ito the room.

"Hello?" He called.

He walked up to a rotting corpse.

"Hey...you ok?" He asked, poking it.

"Hmmm, I guess your sleeping." He said.

Suddenly someone opened the door.

Ryan turned and waited to see who it was.

Chad came rushing down the stairs.

"Hi Chad." Ryan smiled.

"AHHHHHHHHHH." Chad shouted.

Ryan's eyes grew huge,"AHHHHHHHHHH."



"RYAN!" Chad shouted, slapping him.

"Owwww, what?" He asked.

"We have to get out...of this particular spot and find me those dr...door...we have to find the closet door." Chad said.

"Why? Where are we?" Ryan asked.

"Remember what Sharpay said?" Chad asked.

Ryan sighed,"Yeah, not in the hair, I have a date tonight."

Chad made a disgusted face,"NO! You'll never learn anything by asking so many questions, now look damn you!"

Ryan nodded and began to look around.

"Hey, what's this?" He asked, picking up a small box.

"Beats me, open it." Chad said.

Ryan pulled the top off.

In the box was a needle and a few spools of thread.

"It's a sewing kit." Ryan said.

"Useless." Chad said, shoving a board to the side.

"THOMAS!" Someone shouted drom upstairs.

Ryan jumped and knocked a glass over, which shattered, causing Chad to jump and drop the board which landed on a table, which knocked over a sewing machine, which Ryan leaned over the table to grab, the board slid off the table and hit a coat rack, which fell and hit a nail gun, which fired...straight towards Ryan outstretched hand.

The nail shot right through his hand and stuck deep into the wall.

Ryan looked at his hand, then at Chad, at his hand, then Chad.

Chad covered his mouth and watched as Ryan inspected his hand, which was now a wall ornament.

"Chad?" Ryan wimpered.

"Yes Ryan?" Chad asked.

Ryan's began to sniffle,"It's gonna hurt real bad in a second, isn't it?"

"Yes Ryan." Chad said.


"CALM DOWN!" Chad shouted, looking for something to free him.

"THOMAS GODDAMN IT, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" Someone shouted from upstairs.

"Oh hell." Chad said, looking towards the ceiling.

"I think we've got rats, better go flush em out." Hoyt said.

"Crap crap crap." Chad said, looking around.

Suddenly he grabbed a jar full of blood and dirt, he splashed it all over Ryan's face.

"WHAT..." Ryan began, but chsad covered his mouth.

"Shhh, trust me." He whispered.

He grabbed an old blanket and drapped it over Ryan's legs ans waist.

"Now, don't move, don't talk, don't even breath." Chad said.

He slid under the table under Ryan as the metal sliding door flew open.

"Chad...what if we die?" Ryan whispered.

"Shhh." Chad hissed, sticking his head through a crack in the table.

Leatherface walked into his workshop and dropped his chainsaw on a table.

He cocked his head to the side and picked up a coat rack.

He stood it back up and hung his apron from it.

He walked over to a desk and opened it.

He pulled a small book and pen out of it.

Suddenly he dove onto his cot.

"Dear diary, like, oh my God, Mrs. Smith is like, such a bitch, and like...OMG! We got this totally cute new guy in fifth peroid biology class, he's like, super cute." Leatherface said, scribbling this down.

"Chad...my nose itches." Ryan said.

"Shut up." Chad hissed.

Suddenly Leatherface shot up.

He began to look around the room.

"Chad...if we die, their's something I've always wanted to say." Ryan said.

"I know, I love you to buddy." Chad whispered.

"No...can I touch your hair?" Ryan asked.

"What?" Chad asked.

"I've just always wondered what it felt like." Ryan said.

"That's...really weird." Chad said.

"Well if you die before me, I'm gonna do it." Ryan said.

"Well that makes me feel real uncomfortable around you." Chad said.

"Well I'm sorry..." Ryan began.

"No no, just...forget about it." Chad said.

"Yeah, but now I feel bad." Ryan said.

"No...it's ok, really just drop it." He said.

"No but I feel like a jerk now." Ryan said.

"Don't...just don't worry, it's cool, I promise." Chad said.

"Yeah but I..." Ryan began, but suddenly he stopped and looked up.

Chad closed his eyes and sighed.

"Ryan?" He asked.


"He's...ringht behind me, isn't he?"

"Yeah Chad."

"And my head is stuck, isn't it."

"Most likely." Ryan nodded.

"He's got a chainsaw, doesn't he?"

"No, not yet."

"Ok, on three...three...two...ONE!" Chad shouted.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Ryan shouted.

"FOOL!" Chad screamed as Leatherface flipped the table over and yanked the blamket off Ryan.

"RYAN, HELP!" Chad shouted, trying to get his head out.

Ryan tried to pulled Chad head loose as Leatherface started his saw.

He ran at Chad, but stopped, reached and and touched his hair.

"Man, I wanted to do that." Ryan said.

"RYAN!" Chad shouted.

"Oh yeah."

Ryan tossed the blanket over Leatherface and yanked Chad's head loose.

"RUN!" He shouted as Leatherface tossed the blanket off and chased them up the stairs.

They reached the top and closed the door behind them.

"HEY, YOU ASSHOLES!" Hoyt shouted, drawing his gun.

Chad grabbed Ryan by the arm and darted towards the door, meanwhile, Leatherface slid open the door and came rushing out.

Chad and Ryan were at the front door when suddenly Chad dived to the floor, pulling Ryan down with him.

Suddenly The Creeper smashed through the front door and tackled Hoyt through the wall.

"YOU A..." Was all he got out.

Leatherface stopped and walked over the the crash scene.

"Maybe we should go..." Ryan whispered.

"No...wait...wait." Chad said, grinning as Leatrherface tugged on The Creepers wing.

Suddenly he shot up in front of Leatherface.

He cocked his head to the side as The Creeper spread his wings.

Leatherface nodded and picked up his saw.

"Ok...we can go." Chad said,"NOW NOW NOW!"

The Creeper screeched which caused Leatherface to dart through the front door, right behind Ryan and Chad.


"I don't know, just keep running!" Chad said.

They were in the middle of a huge cornfield when Leatherface stopped and tossedhis saw at The Creeper, who was flying after them.

He caught it and smirked.

"Way to go you frickin idiot." Chad said, throwing his hands up.

Leatherface pulled out a hammer and swung at Chad, who ducked, Leatherface missed and hit himself in the back of the head.

"RUN!" Ryan sreamed as The Creeper landed on solid ground.

Chad and Leatherface ran behind Ryan as The Creeper chased them on foot.

Shows the bus where Troy, Gabriella, and Sharpay stayed.

Show Troy leaning back in the drivers seat smiling.

Suddenly Gabriella popped up.

"Do you hear something?"

"No no, just...keep at it." He said, pushing her back down.

"I swear I hear something, like a humming or something, kinda like music." She said.

"Well that kind of makes sense cause uhhh...I just got my head in the game." He said.


Cuts back the Chad, Ryan, and Leatherface.



Suddenly Hoyt ran over The Creeper with his car, he went flying through the air.

"YOU GOT HIM..." Ryan began, but The Creeper feel on him before he could finish.


"Look at this ungly sum bitch." He said, kicked The Creeper.

"Hey...you tried to shot us." Ryan said.

"Well look at this, we've got a genius on out hands." He said.

"Well I like to think..." Ryan smiled.

Hoyt reached into his pocket and pulled out a beer.

"This sum bitch comes into my house, you belive that?" He asked.

"I know." Chad said, pulling out a pack of cigarettes.

Suddenly The Creeper stood up.

"TOMMY!" Hoyt shouted.

The Creeper darted between Chad and Hoyt and flew away.

"HEY! That damn thing took of with my beer!"

"And my cigarettes!"


Hoyt shoved Leatherface aside and pulled a sheet off of something big.

"Holy shit." Chad said, jaw falling open.

"Wow." Ryan said.

"YOU ASSHOLE, AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Hoyt shouted, firing a turrent gun attached to the back of his car at The Creeper.


Leatherface picked up his saw.

"Oh come on, HEY I WANT THOSE CIGARETTES BACK!" Chad shouted.

Shows Sharpay step outside of the bus.

"Do you think Ryan and the rest are ok?"

"Ehhh, they'll be fine." Troy shrugged.

Suddenly Ryan came flying down a hill.

"I had to ask." Sharpay sighed.

"HEY!" Chad shouted.

"STOP SHOU..." Sharpay began, but suddenly Leatherface came down the hill after them.

"Oh my God, there's a giant, fat, hideously disfigured, cannibalistic monster chasing after them!" Sharpay said.

"But I though Rosie O' Donnell was busy with The View." Gabriella said.

Ryan and Chad rushed into the bus.

"OH MAN, WOOOOOOO!" Chad shouted.

"Ewww, you two need a shower." Sharpay said, holding a cup of coffee, and wearig only her robe.

"Chad man, you missed it, Gabriella was totally doing this thing with her tongue..." Troy began.

"Was it cool?" Chad asked.

"Wel I dunno but Sharpay wouldn't stop screaming." He said.

"Nice." Chad grinned.


"Fine fine." Chad said,"Hey wait...oh hell."


"Where's Taylor?"

"Opps." Ryan said.

"Opps? YOU LOST TAYLOR!" Gabriella screamed.

"We didn't lose Taylor...we temporarily misplaced her." Chad said.

"I wonder where she is anyway." Ryan said.

Shows Tin Man, Scarecrow, The Lion, and Taylor all standing in front of the wizard.

"And Taylor, you wanted Emmitt Smith's legs broken." The wizard said.

"Yeah, I WANNA SHOW THAT BASTARD..." She began, turning and seeing the cameras behind her,"...just how proud of him I really am..." She smiled.

"No, now I wanna go back to my stupid friends." She sighed.

"Click your heels together and give me fifty bucks."

"Ok." She said, pulling it out of her pocket.

"Here." She said.

"Ok, so now what."

"Walk out of that door."

"Ok, now what?" She asked, standing outside.

"I'll tell you what, ya just lost fifty buck bitch!"

With that, the door slammed.

"WAIT!" She screamed, kicking the door.

"Jerk." She said, turning around to face the gang.

Everyone looked suprised.

"Where...in the hell?" Troy asked.

"I don't know...WHY DO THESE THING KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?" She shouted.

Suddenly the top of the bus dented in.

"SHHH, he's on the roof." Ryan said.

"No crap?" Chad asked.

Everyone sat in silence for a few seconds before the sound of a chainsaw starting cut them off.

"Oh crap." Taylor said.

"Is that a...chainsaw?" Gabriella asked.

"Your gonna think this is soooo funny..." Chad began, but the chainsaw blade shot through the roof of the van.

"OH MY GOD WE'RE GONNA D..." Gabriella began, but suddenly the chainsaw died.

"Well...that was as effective as Oprah's makeup team." Chad said, high fiving Troy.

"Is...is he gone?" Taylor asked.

Suddenly Leatherface fel through the roof of the bus.

"That would be a no." Chad said.

"RUN!" Taylor shouted as everyone rushed out of the bus.

The Creeper was standing on top of the bus.

"Oh hell." Troy said.

"I think he can see us." Ryan whispered.

"Yeah...but can he see why we love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?" Chad asked, holding out a bowl.

"Because it has human flesh on it?" The Creeper asked.

"No, because, HAHA!" Chad shouted, throwing the bowl at him.

"BAHHH, cinnamon, MY ONE WEAKNESS!" The Creeper shouted.

"Your joking." Troy shouted.

"Yeah, I'm just screwing with ya." The Creeper laughed.

"Hey wait, look." Ryan said, pointing to the sky.

"What about it?" Chad asked.

"Sunrise, that's always a good thing in these types of movies." Ryan said.

"Ryan, this isn't a movie..." Sharpay laughed"...yet."

Suddenly The Creeper pulled out a PDA,"Oh my God, what day is it?"

"Saturday." Troy said.

"But I thought it was Monday?" Gabriella asked.

"Ha, no no, it's always the weekend in this guys stories."

"Really, I never noticed." Chad said.

"Yeah, that one where we get beat up by that wrestler...the devil something, and uhhhh, when we got attacked in those hills, and uhhhh, that one...oh wait, this one, and uhhhh, yeah, but still...wow...this guy really needs a life."

"No no, he's cool, his grammer just needs work, and maybe a little more description, like, telling them what I'm wearing, what face I'm making, etc." Gabriella said.

"Yeah...and maybe he should try something different once in a while, like..." Chad began.

"PEOPLE!" The Creeper shouted.

Everyone went silent.

"When that sun comes up, I'm gonna turn into..." He began, But suddenly Leatherface drug him into the bus.

"WAIT...AHHHHHHH!" The Creeper screamed as Leatherface started the chainsaw.

"WHAT IN THE GODDAMN HELL?!" Hoyt shouted, pulling up.

"Well, the ugly thing pulled the uglier thing into the bus and now somethings dying.

"STOP!" Someone shouted, rushing out of the bus.

"Oh..." Sharpay began.

"My..." Taylor began.

"K-Fed?" Ryan asked.

"Pshhhh, yeah." He said.

"Ohhhh, wait...I'm lost." Chad said.

"It's easy fool, look every twenty three years, for twenty three days I eat, then when I'm done, I sleep...with a really slutty washup, like my ho ass ex."

"Oh, so I get, K-Fed's...a creep." Taylor said.

"Ohhhh yeah, cause he...oh I get it...it's sort of funny, I didn't think the author was smart enough to think up a joke this clever, and deep rooted." Sharpay said.

"Ok, well...is...this it? Are we done?" Troy asked.

"I guess...so." Hoyt said,"I really don't wanna kill any of ya."

"Yeah, and...we don't wana kill...you...either." Ryan shrugged.

"Yeah, well I think..." Taylor began, but suddenly a huge explosion cut them off.

"Oh no...no, GODDAMN IT MONTY, TURN IT TO THE LEFT, THE LEFT IS OFF!" Hoyt shouted as smoke could be seen though the distance.

"What happened?" Troy asked.

"Way to Thomas!" Hoyt shouted, as Leatherface walked out of the bus.

He looked up confused.

"Well, out goddamn house is gone."

"Wow, what a slighly humorous, yet totally understandable twist." Gabriella smiled.

"Well we's screwed now." Hoyt said.

"Wow." Ryan said, looking at Leatherface's mask.

"What?" Sharpay asked.

"Did you sew this yourself?" Ryan asked.

Leatherface nodded.

"You know...I may have a a slight idea where you two can stay."

"What a momma?" Hoyt asked.

"She can come to." Ryan said.

"Well, where is they gonna stay?" Sharpay asked.

"NOT IT!" Troy and Chad shouted.

"Chad that was rude..." Taylor said,"Nice save." She whispered.

"Well..." Ryan began as the camera began to fade out...

Cuts to black

2 weeks later...

"Wow, that's really cute." Taylor said.

"I know." Sharpay smiled, reaching out for a shirt on a rack.

Shows Chad and Ryan sitting the food court of the mall.

"Your hands healed up ok." Chad said.

"Yeah, it wasn't that bad." Ryan shrugged, picking at the bandages.

"Well I'm hungry." Chad said, jumping up,"I'd offer you something, but uhhh, don't wanna." He shrugged.

Ryan shook his head.

"Hey, I thought I told you to keep away from our table." Someone said.

Ryan turned to find four really big guys wearing letterman jackets with the initials WH on them.

"Hey...aren't you guys those jeks that beat me up a few weeks ago?" Ryan asked.

"Just move your ass, and we won't kick it."

"Mmmm, don't wanna." Ryan shrugged.

"Looks like you just never learn." One of them said, grabbing Ryan and cocking his fist back.

Suddenly someone kicked him so hard in the face he went flying over the table.

"Oh snap!" One of the others said, trying to run, but someone grabbed him and tossed his through the menu sign.

The other two took off running.

Ryan smirked and picked his hat up.

"Good job Tommy." He said.

Leatherface nodded.

Hoyt came up in a golf cart.

"Alright Thomas, quit scewing around, you got sewing to do, get to it." Hoyt said.

"Excuse me, who are you?" The owner of the food stand that Leatherface tossed the jock through.

"I'm mall security asshole." Hoyt said.

The man shook his head and walked away.

"Well Ryan, that was awfully kind of ya to get us a job...and place to stay here in New Mexico, you know, after we tried to kill and eat ya." Hoyt said.

"Well, I just figured, it would be a nice thing to do." Ryan smiled.

"Well if you ever have trouble again, gimme a call, I'll round up Thomas and we'll kick some ass." Hoyt said.

"Ok." Ryan laughed.

"Alright...HEY, YOU ASSHOLE, DID YOU PAY FOR THAT?" Hoyt shouted, drawing his gun and chasing after someone.

Ryan sighed.

Chad walked back up.

"What happened?" He asked.

"Ehhh, nothing." Ryan smiled.

The explosion that destoyed the Hewitt's house burned and buried all evidence that the Hewitt's wre cannibals or mass murderers. Ryan Evans figured it would be nice to get them a new place to stay, so he helped Sheriff Hoyt get a job as the new mall security guard and Thomas Hewiit...the man they call "Leatherface" a job as the new mall tailor. Uncle Monty was killed in the blast...but who cares, we was old, and only had like...three lines. Luda Mae Hewitt or "Mamma." lives with Thomas and Hoyt in the mall in an old shoe store, they've given up their cannibal ways and have never been happier, Luda Mae however found the store to big to clean herself, so Troy and Chad found her the perfect assistant.

"Man, this is broke ass." Someone said, mopping a floor.

"Just keep going dear, you'll be done in...what was it again?" Luda Mae asked.

The person sighed,"Twenty three springs."

"Well...that's gonna be some while dear, so I'd advise you to keep mopping...uhh, what was it they called you again?"

"K-Fed." He sighed.

Luda Mae chuckled.

Cuts to black.

Shows Hoyt, Chad, and Ryan sitting on an empty stage.

"Well we hoped you enjoyed the It's Always Sunny in New Mexico Thanksgiving special." Chad said.

"But I thought this was the H..." Ryan began.

"Don't question the author asshole." Hoty said.

"So have a safe, and joyous Christmas." Chad said.

"Bt you just said..." Ryan began.

"THOMAS!" Hoyt shouted.

Ryan jumped up and took off running.

"So happy Easter and have a great Valentines day." Hoyt said.

"Happy new year." Chad waved as the camera faded out.