Chapter 2 Shattered
Disclaimer - just the usual. I don't own anything recognizable. That's owned by the CW, WB and all. No money was made so please don't sue cause I currently own nothing.
Author's notes: Well Aftermath was only supposed to be one chapter. Sam fell apart and then I started to wonder about Dean and how he would react if he actually fell apart at the seams. One reviewer pondered if Dean would remember anything from when he was wandering around the hospital and the wheels started to turn. Here is the outcome.
This is a tag to In My Time of Dying. So if you don't like spoilers and haven't had the opportunity to see the episode be warned. There are several blatant references in the following chapter. You will be spoiled if you read the following.
Oh and there 's some graphic throw up scenes. I'm afraid Dean drank far more beer and JD than Sam did in the last chapter and he's paying the price. So if that icks you out you may not want to read the following.
Also this was not bated. All mistakes (and I'm sure there are quite a few) are completely mine. I wanted to see if I could post something recognizable and worth reading without having it beta'd. Call it a test for posting my tenth story. LOL. Read and enjoy. Comments of any sort are always welcome. Would really appreciate it for this one as its not been beta'd and I would like to see how I can improve.
Running. He was running down a hospital hallway. Different rooms flashed by him as he passed them with patients in different states of recovery. He stopped just past a doorway and something moved out of the room behind him. It moved at supernatural speed and disappeared before he could see where it went. Then the hallway blurred and he was back in his room looking at himself attached to a ventilator that was helping him breathe and machines that were taking his body's readings.
Dean's eyes bolted opened and he gasped. His heart was racing, he was covered in sweat, his ears were ringing and there was a burning in his throat. As fast as he could he stumbled from the bed away from his sleeping brother and into the bathroom.
He just made it as he collapsed to his knees in front of the porcelain bowl before heaving into the toilet. Wrapping an arm around his throbbing chest he placed the other on the cold porcelain and retched again.
"Dean?" he heard his brother ask sleepily from the doorway.
"Not now Sam," Dean whispered as he closed his eyes and rested his forehead on his arm. His breath came in shallow pants. He felt his body tense giving the only warning before he threw up again.
He felt a hand on his back moving up and down in a soothing way.
"Ok Dean?" Sam asked.
No. He wasn't ok. He was so far from it. "Yeah I'm fine Sammy," he whispered.
He felt his brother gently pull him back into a kneeling position and heard the toilet flush. His breathing sped up again and he groaned before leaning back over the toilet. His entire body clenched painfully and threw up more of the beer and Jack Daniels that he consumed earlier that morning.
"G'way," Dean whispered as he rested his head on his arm again. "Please Sammy."
"Not going anywhere," his brother said.
Dean felt the hand on his back again slowly moving up and down. He remembered his father doing that when he was younger and he had the stomach flu.
"Oh God," he whispered and then threw up again. The warmth soothing motion was gone from his back and he thought he heard running water in the background. The room was spinning and he could've sworn that he wasn't kneeling on a cold floor rather he was falling uncontrollably into some inky darkness below. His ribs felt like they has broken and morphed into shattered glass that cut him with every movement. The ringing in his ears seemed to get louder and louder with every passing second.
"Sammy?" Dean asked.
"Yeah?" Sam replied as he put a cool cloth on the back of his brother's neck.
"Feel like crap," Dean mumbled and gasped against the pain in his chest.
"Yeah I got that. Just take it easy," Sam said softly.
The soothing warmth and motion was back as Sam rubbed his aching back. "Stop," Dean said.
Sam's hand stilled on his back. "Stop what?" He asked.
"The room from spinning," he whispered.
"Dean?" Sam asked.
Dean could hear the concern in his little brother's voice but it seemed to come from so far away. He allowed himself to fall into the darkness and passed out.
He was looking at his brother sitting on the floor with a Ouija board setup in front of him with his hands resting on the plastic piece.
"All right Sam. This isn't going to work," he reached out and laced his hand on the plastic and moved the piece to yes. The scene blurred and then he was moving the plastic piece over different letters.
"R-E-A-P. A reaper?" Sam whispered.
The scene blurred again and he was running down the hospital corridor stopping just outside a room. Inside Doctors and nurses were working feverishly over a young girl as they tried to bring her back to life. A ghostly figure floated above her and reached out. The transparent hand slipped into her head between her eye and cheek. He rushed into the room but before he could stop it the ghost disappeared and the nurse called the time of death.
Dean opened his eyes and he was lying in a bed with a cool wet cloth on his forehead. Sam was sitting on the bed next to his watching him.
"Hey look who woke up," he said softly.
Dean blinked a couple of times and groaned as his head felt like it was going to burst open any minute. His head throbbed to a different beat than his throbbing chest making him feel dizzy. He groaned and closed his eyes.
"Well I'd ask you how you were feeling but," Sam trailed off.
"Sammy?" Dean croaked out.
"Yeah?" Sam replied.
"Dude I think something died in my mouth," Dean whispered.
Sam half grinned and stood up slowly then moved to sit beside his brother. "Can you sit up?" he asked.
Dean started to sit up but groaned and put his head back on the pillow. "No. Did I bust my ribs?"
"Well no. But you probably pulled some muscles from earlier," Sam said with a sigh.
Dean cracked one eye open and took in his brother's appearance. He was pale with a slight greenish tinge to his complexion. The bruising on is face were angry red and purples and stood out in stark comparison to the pale green the rest of his skin was. "You look like crap," Dean said.
"Well I look better than you," Sam retorted. "Now c'mon sit up."
"Why?" Dean asked as he closed his eyes.
"Cause I got something to make you feel better," Sam said. "Pain killers for your head and chest."
Dean opened his eyes slightly as he felt Sam get off the bed. He slowly tried to ease himself up groaning as pain shot through his head and around his chest. Then Sam was helping him to sit up. "Dude get off me I got it."
"Oh yeah. You did that just fine all on your own," Sam said.
Dean panted at the fresh pain and nausea that threaten to overwhelm him. He felt Sam stack the pillows behind him and then his little brother guided him to lean back against the worn pillows. He idly wondered when Sam had gotten so good at taking care of him. Wasn't it supposed to be the other way around?
"Ok Dean?" Sam asked.
"Will you stop asking me that man? The answers not going to change any time soon," Dean said. "I'm fine."
Sam sighed and Dean felt a cool glass put into his hand.
"It's water. Here are the pills," Sam said softly as he put the tablets into his other hand. "Do you think you could keep them down?"
All Dean wanted to do was go back to sleep and he was doubtful that anything would stay in his tortured stomach. "Yeah," he said and took the meds.
He closed his eyes for a moment then opened them as he tried to see what Sam was doing. His younger brother shrugged and showed him the small garbage can he was holding.
"Just in case," he mumbled. " I don't want to carry you again. You've gotten heavy man. Tomorrow the cheese burgers are off the menu. Salads are the new burgers."
"Dude don't talk about food," Dean groaned and closed his eyes feeling exhausted. He hoped that when he woke up his father would be there. He knew that there was no way it would happen but the thought of his father walking through the door telling them that he'd done battle with the demon on it's turf and won was extremely comforting. His breathing evened out as he fell asleep.
He woke sometime later feeling much better. His headache was almost gone and he didn't feel nauseated at all. And he hadn't had a weird dream about the hospital. He looked around the room for his brother and frowned when he didn't see him.
"Sam?" he called out but didn't get a response.
Slowly Dean sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. His arm immediately curled protectively around his chest. The only thing he could think of was that Sam shouldn't be going anywhere on his own.
The motel room door opened and Sam walked in with a small bag and a carry tray holding two coffees.
"Hey," Sam greeted as soon as he saw his brother sitting up. "How are you feeling?"
"Better," Dean said eyeing the coffee. "Where'd you go?"
"Drug store. Before we left the Doctor gave me your prescription to get filled. They're T3's but to be honest I'm not really sure what the Doc said it was for. I guess I was a little out of it," Sam said.
Dean was quiet for a moment as he sized up his brother. "Sammy you're not looking so good man. Why don't you sit down or something."
"I'm fine," Sam said as he put the bag and tray on the table.
Dean nodded not wanting to press the point and rubbed a hand over his face. Suddenly he saw himself in his father's hospital room. His brother and father were arguing again and he was yelling at them to stop. In frustration he lashed out at a cup of water knocking it from the roll-table and on to the floor. The argument abruptly stopped, Sam and John looked from the wet floor back to each other.
"Dude I full on Swayze'd that mother," Dean said.
"What?" Sam asked as he came over and sat on the bed across from his brother.
Dean looked at him slightly confused. "Sam when you were arguing with Dad in his room did a glass of water fall and break?" He asked.
Sam looked away. "Yeah. I thought it could've been because of me. I was so angry with Dad that I thought that I might have sent it crashing to the ground like I moved the cabinet at Max's."
Dean nodded. "I remember."
Sam sighed. "Remember what?"
"I moved it. I wanted you two to stop fighting and I got so frustrated when you couldn't hear me that I hit the glass of water," he explained.
Sam looked back up at his brother frowning. "I thought you didn't remember anything from when you were in your coma. And when did you watch Ghost? It's a chick flick you know."
"I didn't remember before I saw- remembered just now about the glass. And I seem to remember," Dean said and paused giving his brother a half grin. "A Ouija board Sam?"
Sam shrugged and blushed slightly. "It worked, didn't it?"
"Yeah. It was perfect Sammy and I know I wouldn't have thought about it," Dean said and smiled fully. "I was so relieved that you could hear me."
Sam smiled then sobered. "Do you remember the reaper?" He asked.
"I think so. But it wasn't like the one I saw in Ford City Nebraska you know with LeGrange? This was a floating disembodied ghostly looking thing. I think it took a child's life before I could stop it," Dean said softly.
"You told me you were hunting it and that it was after you. I went from an overwhelming relief that you were ok and I could talk to you back to feeling like my world was falling apart cause I didn't know how to help you. I didn't know how to get you back into your body. An ordinary reaper that wasn't trapped and doing someone's bidding isn't something I can handle, or at least I didn't know how to deal with it. I didn't get the chance to find out cause just as I was telling you I wasn't giving up your eyes opened and you gasped for breath as you fought the ventilator," Sam said softly and then a funny look crossed his face.
"What is it Sam?" Dean asked.
"Dean you don't think that Dad," Sam started to say then trailed off.
"Dad did what Sam?" Dean asked feeling his headache beginning to reform.
"Dad summoned the demon?" Sam asked.
"Yeah I mean I guess so. That's what he planned to do and he had everything he needed," Dean said.
"What if he didn't break his promise. What if he didn't summon the demon to fight it? What if he summoned it to," Sam paused and took a shaky breath. "Trade."
"No. No way Sam. Dad wouldn't have done that. He'd summon it to kill it. That's been the plan all along," Dean said resolutely.
"Yeah but what if Dad felt like he was cornered you know? Like this would be the only way for," Sam stopped and looked away from Dean.
"The only way for what? Could I buy a freakin word here or better yet could you just finish a sentence?" Dean said.
"To save you," Sam said so quietly that Dean almost didn't hear him.
Dean frowned and opened his mouth but no words came out of it. No dad wouldn't have done that for him. Sammy maybe but… The room began to tilt slightly.
"Dean I'm sorry I didn't mean," Sam started.
"Shut up Sam," he whispered.
"Man I didn't think," Sam tried again.
"Shut up! Dad did not just give himself over to the demon for me. He did not give up! I can't believe that! He would have never done that for me," Dean yelled.
"Of course he would have done that for you," Sam said softly as his eyes narrowed slightly. "He would have done that for either one of us."
Silence hung heavy in the room as the burden of Sam's words fell squarely on Dean's shoulders weighing him down.
"At least he said goodbye to you. He sent me away like I didn't matter," Sam said. "I understand why."
"You understand? Great. Maybe you could explain it to me then cause nothing that's happened in the last couple of days makes sense to me," Dean said harshly.
"I just meant," Sam started to say.
"Oh I know exactly what you mean little brother. You know what Dad said to me? Promise me you'll look after Sam. He may have sent you off but he was still worried about you. Don't you think for one measly second that Dad didn't love you or care about you. Don't you," Dean paused and took a breath. "Don't you dare think," Dean stopped and tried to reign in his emotions that were spiralling out of control.
Dean stood up. He was too angry. He had to go somewhere. Anywhere. There had to be something to take this anger out on. He shouldn't be doing it to Sam. There had to be something supernatural nearby to kill. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath as he tried to calm down. The room was spinning, he felt like everything was falling apart and out of his control. And if he was honest with himself he was furious that his Dad had given up. The great John Winchester never gave up on anything.
"Dean it's ok," Sam said softly.
"Sam we are so far away ok it's not even funny," Dean growled.
"No. I mean it's ok to be angry at Dad," he said.
Dean opened his eyes. "What? The man is dead Sam," Dean yelled feeling angrier and helpless more and more as the conversation continued. Dean Winchester did not do feeling helpless well.
"Yeah I know. And he left everything squarely on our shoulders before he left," Sam said softly.
"No. He left everything on my shoulders. That selfish son of a," Dean stopped short as Sam suddenly stood up and wrapped his arms around him.
"Dude get the hell off me," he growled with his hands clenched he tried to shove off his brother.
"It's ok Dean," Sam said his voice breaking.
"It's not," he ground out shaking because of his anger.
"So it's not ok right now, but it will be. You said so yourself," Sam said.
"I lied," Dean said with a wavering voice and felt his hands unclench as his anger began to fall away and sorrow fill it's void.
"No you didn't. It will be ok," Sam said.
"No," Dean said but felt his arms wrap around his brother. It wouldn't be ok. It couldn't be ok without his father. His hands clenched Sam's shirt tightly as a sob escaped him. He leaned his head onto his brother's shoulders and let go. Let go of the anger, sadness and pain of loosing his father. The emotions fell in the form of tears that soaked into Sam's shirt.
After a bit when he realized that Dean had calmed somewhat he sighed softly. "It will be ok Dean. It has to be or everything we've done since Mom died will have been for nothing."
"Dad left it for us to finish and we have to finish his quest. We have to get this evil son of a bitch," Dean said as he pulled away from his brother and wearily ran a hand over his face.
"We will finish it or we'll die trying," Sam said simply and shrugged. "That's just the way it is. There is nothing else."
Dean looked up at the words a sinking feeling growing in his gut. He was proud of his brother for being whole heartedly in this fight but there was no way he was going to let them die. He couldn't let him think that way.
"We will finish it little brother," Dean said strongly. "But the only think that's dying is the freaking Demon. Don't even think of it going down any other way or I will follow you into Hell and kick your scrawny ass personally. Got it?"
"Yeah I got it," Sam said and smiled at him. "For Dad, Mom, and Jess."
Dean smiled back. "And for Jim and Caleb. It's days are numbered and we won't be sending it back to hell. We're going to kill it just like Dad planned. Get the journal Sammy. We've got work to do."