Lily and Sirius could not believe the nerve of James. Or his cleverness, for that matter, to come up with the idea of tricking them to go into the bathroom by saying there were muffins. And the worst part was that there were no muffins.
"Well, it is rather obvious why he did this even though I will curse him red, white and blue as soon as I get out of her" said Lily, sitting down on the tub edge.
"I think we should pay in kind" said Sirius.
"How? By tricking him to get in here by saying there are muffins?"
Lily thought of that. "It's so crazy, it just might work"
James sat blocking the door. Remus and Alice were there too, of course, neither of them had anything better to do.
"Now you stay in there and I won't let you out until you are friends!" he yelled to them.
"As if we wanted to, when there are muffins!" Lily yelled back.
James got up to peek through the keyhole.
"I don't see any muffins!"
"That-that's because they are in the tub" said Sirius.
"Oh really? Why don't you show me one?"
"And tempt you to get in here and steal them all? I think not!"
James turned to Remus and Alice.
"They are bluffing, right?"
"Last time I checked there were no muffins in the tub! And Dumbledore said there is no muffin conjuring spell!"
"I sometimes hide cookies in the bathroom so I have something to eat in the shower" said Alice.
James was extremely tempted to kick the door open, but decided to resist their urge.
"I still think they're bluffing"
"Oh no, he doesn't believe us" said Lily.
"Ooo I know!" Sirius poured up some water in a cup and poured it on the floor.
"Oh my god I can't believe my water just broke!"
James stormed inside and slipped on the water, while Lily and Sirius went out and locked the door.
"Heeey! That was just cruel! Now let me out!"
"No, you stay in there and think about what you did!" said Lily.
"Fine! Where are the muffins?"
"There are no muffins, idiot. Everyone who wants ice cream, follow me"
The summer was boilingly hot and moods were swinging worse than ever.
"Aw it's kicking!" said Lily harmonically.
"Can I feel?" James asked.
Lily kicked him hard in the stomach. "There! Now get me my pepsi, damn it!"
"You know, with birth being so gross, it used to be beyond me why women want children. But now I get it" said Sirius, who was there what a shock.
"Yeah...it's great, hurting men without going to jail for it"
"I'm so envious. Now I wanna be pregnant"
"You know, when Molly was expecting Percy, she had Arthur feeling sympathy pains! You could do that!"
James came back with the pepsi and gave it to Lily. Sirius kicked him hard in the stomach.
"OW! What the bloody hell was that for?!"
"Where is my pepsi?!"
"You wanted one? Just ask nicely!"
"That's hardly what you did when you planted your seed in my pot, mr!"
James stared at him.
"What are you talking about?"
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Don't you men get anything?"
"They don't, welcome to my world" said Lily.
James decied it would be best not to argue any further and went to get Sirius a pepsi.
"There you go"
Sirius opened it and took a zip.
"Oh no...I think I'm gonna vomit!" he said, storming off to the bathrroom.
James stared after him. And then at Lily.
"What did I miss?"
"My lunch! Go put on your ovenmits and get those saucepans boiling, slave!"
"Now what? Shall I fluff your pillow, your highness? Make lobster stuffing out of it? Shove it down your stomach so you got another thing to complain about?" James muttered.
"Maybe later...it's coming"
Looking for st Mungos' maternity ward, Sirius and Remus stumbled upon Frank, a very proud father.
"Oh you should see him, he is sooo cute! Alice's eyes and everything!"
Frank showed the way. They found James in the waiting room.
"So...any news?" Sirius asked.
"How should I know, I'm stuck here"
"Not allowed inside?" said Remus.
"No, I was. But I passed out because Lily squeezed my hand so hard and then I woke up here. Oh, the injustice"
"Tell me about it! I told a nurse my baby is on the way but she refused to deliver me!" said Sirius.
"W-what?" said Remus.
"Don't ask" said James. "Anyway, they refuse to let me back in because I knocked over their equipment stand"
"I'm going back to Alice" said Frank. "Anyone wanna see my little infant?"
"Oh my god how fat is it?" Sirius asked.
"Infant is not a baby elefant" Remus explained.
A healer cleared her throat.
"Mr Potter, if you would like to come with me"
(A/N: Ah FINally it's over! That was the last chapter. Yes the end was corny but...I couldn't think of a way to make it un-corny. Hopefully you don't think it's corny. Unless you like corny. Hope you liked it and thanks for reviewing!)