Technophobe IV- Return of the Story That Refuses to Die

By The Bubbles

A/N- In this one, Pyro wages war on an Magneto's Super Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System! Yes, that's what it's called.

Disclaimer- Let us observe Logic for a moment. If The Bubbles owned X-Men, The Bubbles would not be writing fanfiction about X-men.

A/N- I know I said that III was the last one, but I was struck by inspiration. Plus, reviewers have been begging.

BTW, Sooner or later I'm going to put all of these into one convenient fic. But right now I'm too lazy.

Also, there's a companion story to Technophobe III, Its called Pyro's Massive Invasion of Privacy, and as soon as I finish writing the last chapter in 1st period Monday, I intend to type it.

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Magneto smiled and proudly waited for his minions to speak.

"Well?" he prompted. "What do you think? Don't touch that!"

This last part was directed at Pyro, who had been about to push a shiny red button on Magneto's brand new Super Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System! Yes, that's what it's called. The pyromaniac in question yelped and leapt back about three feet, landing on Piotr's foot. Piotr almost fell, and grabbed Sabretooth for support. Sabretooth roared and slashed the air in surprise and anger, almost taking out Gambit. Gambit leapt out of the way and came very close to landing on the Super Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System, but caught himself just in time. He breathed a sigh of relief and leaned on the Super Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System and accidently charged it.

"Gambit, don't!" Magneto yelled.

Gambit realized what he was doing and uncharged the Super Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System. Everyone around breathed a collective sigh of relief, except Pyro, who had wanted someone other than him to get in trouble for blowing up/setting fire to something. Of course, he would have gotten in trouble anyway, so it's all for the best.

"Now that that's over," Magneto said, "Perhaps you can answer my question?"

"Eh... What was the question?"

"What do you think?" he asked slowly.

"Oh," Pyro said. "Well... It's the most coolest, raddest thing I've ever seen! I want to touch it."

He reached out to touch it.

"Don't touch that!"

"Sorry, Boss."

"Now then. Rules." Magneto unrolled a large list of rules. "No one is allowed to touch my new Super Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System. No one is allowed to go near my new Super Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System. No one is allowed to look at my new Super Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System. No one is allowed to listen to my new Super Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System; in fact, no one is allowed to even think about my new Super Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System. Any questions?"

Pyro raised his hand.

"No one is allowed to blow up/set fire to my newSuper Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System."

Pyro put his hand down. Gambit raised his hand.

"Yes, Gambit?"

"If we're not allowed to touch, go near, look at, listen to, or think about the new Super Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System then why did you even buy it?"

"Because its cool."

The others nodded in agreement.

"Good. If there are no more questions, I want all of you to get back to work." He clapped his hands. "Chop, chop."

They all left grumpily. Pyro was the last one to leave. He exited backwards, staring whistfully at the new Super Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System. Now, more than ever, he wanted to touch it. More than the system, though, he wanted to push that shiny red button. He wanted to know what it did.

Since the Acolytes don't really do any work, except for the occasional mission, Pyro had a lot of free time over the next three days to think about the neSuper Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System, even if it was against the rules. What Mags didn't know...

No seriously. None of the Acolytes actually work. Any and all cleaning done in the base is done by Sabretooth. He uses it as anger management. Actually, it doesn't work too well, since he gats mad at anyone who messes it up (usually Pyro) and tries to break them in half. But anyway, that's beside the point.

Like I was saying, Pyro spent a lot of time over the next few days thinking about the Super Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System and its shiny red button. He wanted to press it.

One day his chance came. Magneto was out playing golf with Xavier and Mystique, Gambit had dragged Piotr off to bug Rogue, and Sabretooth was off buying cleaning supplies. Pyro was all alone in the base, which was bad judgement on Magneto's part. He tried to keep his mind off of the Super Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System, but every few minutes he found an excuse to wander by the room with the Super Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System in it. Finally, he could take no more.

He went in.

He walked over to the button.

He stared at it.

He touched it, and stroked it, and caressed it.

He pushed it.

He pushed it again.

He pushed it again, and again, and again.

Nothing happened.

Pyro stared at the button with disdain. He had wanted it to explode, or at the very lest beep. But it didn't do anything. He slumped down and pouted. His lip trembled as he sobbed quietly. (Bubbles- Aw, he's sooo cute.)

Suddenly there was a beep. His head shot up. There was another beep. Somehow he noticed a timer an the screen. It was currently on 9. Beep. 8.

"Uh-oh."

7... 6...

Pyro took to running. He made it to the door and heard another beep.

5... 4...

He reached the entrance of the base and dove out just as the timer finished.

3... 2... 1...

KABLOOM!

For some reason, the Super Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System only exploded itself and didn't explode the base or even the room it was in. Pyro waited for the smoke clear before walking into the room. He looked at the charred remains of the Super Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System and sighed. He was in for it now. He traipsed up to his room and pulled out pen and paper.

"I, John Allerdyce, being of sound mind and body, do hereby bequeath..."

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A/n- Don't worry, Magneto isn't gonna kill Pyro. He'll punish him a little (ok, a lot) but Pyro will live to play another day.

I'm not entirely sure why there was a self destruct button on his Super Awesome Deluxe Mega Cool Surround Sound Entertainment System. I mean, it was juat inviting Pyro to blow it up.

Wow, that one was even longer than the other three. And I made it up as I typed. I never do that.

The wisdom of Bubbles- Sanity is the sign of an unused mind.