Wow, another fic I thought I had posted ages ago, but forgot to. (No wonder no one reviewed it, lol...) Originally composed 09/10/05.
Title: True Understanding
Squicks: Fluffy. Saccharine. Rot-your-teeth-and-give-you-diabetes schmoop. Somewhat 'urple.
Summary: The one he loved understood. Stood silently by his side, and let him make his choice, whatever that might be. His treasure, his partner in battle, his trusty confidant, and the one to put faith in him against all odds.
The gorge created by his pacing that night was sure to become a national landmark sometime in the future. Kikyou was waiting, and he had only hours left to decide.
It wasn't a matter of love. He knew whom his heart was given to. The one who'd been with him from the start, kept him sane all this time, even, he dared to hope, loved him back. It wasn't Kikyou he held in his arms those last hours, deciding.
"I know this isn't easy for you to understand," Inuyasha said, "but I have a lot of respect for Kikyou. She was the first person who really treated me as human, even my mother didn't do that.
"Oh, no, don't look like that. I know. You're the only one who's actually accepted me as I am, as a hanyou, because of it, not in spite of it. And I know that just because you haven't died, doesn't mean you haven't given. And I know that part of me will always be inside you, no matter where I go..." here he could no longer go on, but covered his face, ashamed of weeping. "I don't want to take you with me. But I don't know how I can leave you. I want to think that you could be happy with someone else after I'm gone, but deep down we both know that isn't true. You were made for me. And I...
"I'd miss you, all the time. I'd miss the way you've taken to touching my thigh as we travel together, the feel of you against my skin, throbbing under my hands... Kikyou says I won't need you anymore where we're going, but no matter what I said early on, you were never just a tool to me. You always meant more than that. I was crude, and afraid of admitting my true feelings. And now, I don't know how I can go on in a world that doesn't have you in it. That really would be Hell.
"You... you've always been the better part of me. I haven't been the same since I met you. Because of you, I've grown so much, and become a better person. Because of you, I.. I've learned to love. You've become so precious to me, how could I even think of leaving you?"
He stroked his beloved, tenderly, possessively. He could feel her smooth body responding to his touch. "I can't do it. I'm so sorry, for Kikyou, she deserves better after all that she's given. But I can't. I can't look at you, the only thing I've ever really loved, and leave you all alone. No one will protect you like I do. I couldn't stand waking up without you in my arms. Hush now, darling. We'll tell her together at dawn. It'll be all right, as long as we're together." They snuggled a while, seemingly at peace with his decision.
Kagome twitched, watching the sickening scene. "Now," she muttered, "I'm all for anything that keeps him from gallivanting off to Hell, but that amount of love for a damned piece of weaponry is just unhealthy."
Kikyou also twitched. "I blame you. He was fine when I left him."
"He was unconscious. On a tree. With an arrow through his heart," Kagome pointed out.
"But he was sane," Kikyou said, shaking her head. "At least he was sane."
"I say we take the sword and throw it in a lake," Kagome suggested brightly.
"First good idea you've had," Kikyou said.
"No one but you understands me, Tessaiga!" Inuyasha wailed piteously.
Kikyou gave Kagome a dirty look, and muttered something about over-mothering the boy. Kagome was none too happy about Kikyou's plans for Inuyasha either, but one thing was for certain: the sword had to go. Another day of this, and she'd send him to hell herself!