Title: Try and try again
Author: ferretgirl1124
Pairing(s): Implied SoraxKairi, one-sided SoraxRiku
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): Slash, flow of consciousness, 1st person POV, het
Disclaimer: Most definitely not mine. Square owns them; I just play with 'em.
Word Count: 523

Summary: The internal ramblings of a lovesick boy. Sometimes, someone can mean the world to you, even if they don't know that you exist.

A/N: Inspired by 'Solitude' by Evanescence. I wrote this when I was half asleep, and I sort of just let my thoughts flow with the music.

You're all I have, do you get that? I see you there with her, and it hurts, and you don't even fucking notice. She, and Selphie, and Wakka, and Tidus are friends, but you are my life. I need you to keep breathing, to see that life's worth putting up with.

You're my light, Sora. Without you, I have no reason to avoid the darkness.

You told me you love her, and I almost screamed, almost grabbed you and shook you, and the only reason I didn't do that was because if I did that I would have kissed you.

Have you even noticed? The looks, and the way I can't spend the night at your house any more, do you even care? And I know I turn red when you touch me, or look at me like that. Are you the same dense kid I've always known, even after all you've been through, or is she blinding you?

I need you more then she ever could. She's safe, she will always be safe, and you need someone to protect. I know it. I would be hard to protect, hard to put back together, but don't you think I'd be worth it in the end?

I'd be perfect for you, or as close as I could be. I'd even let you win some of our fights.

You'd never have to go looking for me ever again. I would never leave your side. I was away from you for a year, and I never want that to happen again. Watching that door close, watching you bite back tears (always trying to be brave and prove something even though I always knew you were stronger then me), was the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

I won't let that happen ever again.

I know what you plan to do. I've seen the ring, and that day I showed up early, I heard you practicing what you were going to say to her.

That can't happen. I can't loose the only thing I've ever wanted to someone who doesn't need it.

I have to tell you. Even if it means losing you completely, forever, you have to know. I put it off too long, and you need to know.

I doubt I'll lose your friendship; you're just too…Sora-ish to leave me like that. And I can be happy with your friendship, but I have to know if I have any chance at anything more, before it's too late.

If you say no, I'll give you my blessings, and see you two off if not happily, then at least without a grudge.

And if you say yes? It would make all the sleepless nights, the fear, even my journey through the shadows worth it. You'd never cry again, and if you absolutely had to, I'd give you a kiss for every tear that falls to make you feel better.

You're worth the chance. Maybe I'll be lucky, and you'll put the ring away, swear your undying love to me, and we'll run away together.

Heh. Yeah right.

But I guess I'll never know till I try.