It's A Supernatural Thing, You Wouldn't Understand

Note: Martin Mystery fanfiction. With college courses in toe, the step-siblings find themselves inundated with homework. They get called by MOM to start working on a strange case of mummies, curses (and the whole shebang) in Egypt. Diana's boyfriend Jared gets caught up in the case quite by accident and he has to have his memory erased (think MIB memory erasers—Flash, memory replayed with auditory sugguestion). Jerad proves to be more of a menace than a benefit sometimes. Will Diana just dump her beau without really giving him a reason why ? or will she explain to him exactly why he isn't meant for the realm of the occult ?

Chapter 1—Inauspicious Occasion

Martin and Diana were trapped under piles of homework and with finals coming up, Diana was the more prepared of the siblings and Martin had been trying all year to score some cheerleader for a girlfriend. He hadn't had any luck, but he wasn't about to give up. Besides, there would be plenty of parties he could participate in after finals were through and there would be a bevy of hot babes to choose from then.

He rubbed his hands together greedily thinking about it. Too many beautiful girls to romance ! What could be better than that ?

Diana reminded Martin that he should keep his mind off of chasing skirts and more on his studies.

"You do realize that this is our graduation year. ", she scolded.

"You sound like mom, you know. Plus, even if I do mess around a little, what's it to you ? You need to lighten up, Di !", Martin retorted, crossing his arms. The two were in a library and their tone was starting to irriatate the head librarian. She shut her book and put her hands to her lips quite demonstratively.

"Ok, so maybe I do need to lighten up a bit. But, I know your grades are slipping a little this year. I can help you with anything you are having trouble in.", Diana offered. Martin never admitted he needed help from anyone because he thought he could do everything on his own, but in this case, as usual, Diana was absolutely correct. Before he could answer her, a call came in on his watch.

"Martin, Diana. We have a case.", she said, in an urgent tone.

"We can't take your call in the library, MOM ! We'll have to go outside in a more...secluded area.", Diana said, in a whisper. MOM acknowledged Diana's request and waited to call them again when they were outside and couldn't be bothered by anyone or anything.

"Here's the case. There have been a number of strange things happening in numerous pyramid crypts in Egypt.", MOM explained.

"Oh, no. Not more armies of the undead. Didn't we deal with the Egyptology nerd before and teach him a lesson ?", Martin inquired.

"No, nothing like that. This has to deal with an actual curse. Turns out this curse is real. Some researchers were just idly searching around the crypts for artifacts and relics to take to a local museum in Egypt. Turns out Ramses II isn't very pleased. It'd make much more sense if the objects were his to begin with but...

Pharoahs. What are you going to do ?", MOM said, sighing.

"Java want no part of creepy crawlies in the tombs !", Java said, shivering in the background. Bugs weren't the big guy's strong suit. In fact, he was terrified of insects. MOM wasn't so insensitive to put him in a situation he would rather not want to be in.

"Java, hon...You're not going to have to worry about it. You can do research with Billy in the lab when we get the samples back from Martin and Diana on the archeological site.", MOM said, with a brilliant smile.

Java was pleased he would get to be working with Billy again. Although the two were opposite in many ways, they got together quite well. With that, he gave her a huge hug, and the siblings could see MOM's reaction on the other end. They were roaring in laughter.

"Alright, enough funny business. I will send you all the supplies you need ASAP. I am giving you the location to teleport to, Martin.", MOM said, sending the coordinates.

"Ok, I've got it. We'll be on our way to Cairo in no time. If things get really hairy, we have holy water and crucifixes.", Martin said, excitedly. Diana wasn't sure what the heck the crucifixes would do against zombies but she was about to find out. She also didn't know that her boyfriend, Jared had come in and heard some of the conversation, but he had laid low and was very steathly. Of course, she saw him in the void

and began scolding him.

"Jared, what in the world are you doing here !", she questioned, becoming infuriated.

"I overheard what you were talking about with that woman, MOM, was it ?", Jared said, in return, hugging her lovingly. It was no time for hugging, that was certain. She wriggled out of his hug, and kept her cool even though she was beginning to see red.

"How much did you hear ?", Diana questioned, becoming worried.

"Oh, just something about going to Cairo, Egypt. I'm not really sure why you would be going to Egypt at this time of year, but now I know it's probably something metaphysical.", Jared replied, holding her hands.

Diana groaned. "Ok, I want you to promise me something.", Diana said.

"What's going on, Diana ?", Martin called. He had been sucked deeper into the void and was a couple of seconds earlier getting into Cairo. He couldn't see who Diana had been talking to but he could hear her yelling.

"You're going to laugh if I tell you.", Diana said, becoming chagrinned.

"Try me, Sis.", Martin responded.

"It's my boyfriend, Jerad. He was beamed up with us.", Diana said, lowering her head in shame.

"Oh, perfect. Just perfect ! Make sure he doesn't get in our way, Sis.", Martin warned.

"I'll keep that in mind.", Diana muttered to herself. Jerad let go of his girlfriend's hands, seeing that she was extremely miffed now. He would try to stay out of their way, particularly of Martin's way. He already knew he was aggrivated and didn't want to upset him more. But the thing was, Jerad was terribly awkward and

really had no clue about the supernatural world. If only they could call MOM and have him sent back to the College. But such a thing couldn't be done. Once the transfer was made, there was no stopping it.

Chapter 2—Never Insult a Pharoah

The stepsibling team and their unwelcome stowaway had made their way into Cairo and were preceeded by the archeological team that had been a disturbance to Ramses II. They had no luck appeasing the wrathful apparition, so that is why Martin had been called. Pretty soon the hauntings would begin.

As usual, Ramses II came back to the site where the artifacts had been missing. He saw the team of archologists again, and didn't pay them much heed. He just wanted to know why 'his' treasures were missing.

Diana and Martin wanted to get the Pharoah's attention, but unfortunately, it was Jerad who did that with his clueless arrogance.

"Look, Mr. Ramses. Those people that just came in, they weren't taking your bounty. It's going into a museum. A museum is good for those of us who live now in this era to learn from the people of the past. So please, go back to sleep. After all, it wasn't your treasure. Just let it go, man ! Let it go !", Jerad said, almost pleading. He shouldn't have said anything to begin with.

"Listen, mortal. I know you, like other mortals, decieve with your silver tongues. Get out of my way, lest you face my wrath !", Rameses II responded, his ire rising every second.

"Say nothing else, Jared. You're only angering him more.", Diana said in the most tactful way possible. Jerad moved aside, and ended tripping over his shoes.

"Ah, already paying me the respect I deserve.", Ramses II said as an aside, and then approached the two siblings.

"What the first mortal said was correct, oh great and powerful Pharoah. We aren't worthy to undo your sandals, my Lord !", Diana said, kowtowing.

"Wait, what are you doing, Diana !", Martin muttered to his sibling through gritted teeth. She motioned him to do the same thing. She knew what she was doing. She would appease him and hopefully he would crossover in a timely manner.

"Now this is more like it !", Ramses II said, grinning.

"She is absolutely right, your Grace. In fact, we are preparing your way to the Other Side. We have everything you could want for your perilous journey.", Martin said. Fortunately, they did have such things that they had stowed away with them to appease the Pharoah.

"I will pardon your unfit display earlier and take these tidings. Chockran, my followers.", Ramses said, disappearing into thin air. Martin picked up Jerad by the collar and grumbled at him.

"Luckily for you I am in a peaceful mood so I'm not going to slap you into next week.", Martin said, letting him go. Jerad got his footing and followed them, and the archeologists were applauding their efforts.

Fairly soon there would be a media flood, so they decided to make a quick exist. As for the archologists, their memories of what they had seen had been blotted out by a quick "flash" memory eraser. One flash and their memories were rewritten for that entire incident. Diana noticed it had also effected Jerad. It was probably best that he hadn't remembered what had happened.

Chapter 3—Trouble In the Bazzaar

Since the team had some time to spendin Cairo before they were transported back home, Diana decided it would be a great opportunity to acquaint themselves with Egyptian culture. Jerad, who was just waking up from a long night's sleep wondered what was going on.

"I didn't know Martin was going with us to Cairo ! You should've told me in advance !", Jerad said, punching Diana lightly in the arm. She laughed dully. She took him by the hand as well as her step brother.

They had to get out of the motel before Jerad became any more irritating.

The Bazzaar was extremely noisy, filled with customers haggling over prices of different various objects that came from all over Arabia. Some of the finest dies and spices were in this area, and Martin and Diana could see caravans moving through to make their stop for a while before they road on. Jared felt badly about not bringing his camera with him, but luckily for him he had a photographic memory.

Jerad was wandering around the different vendor booths when he came upon a spice vendor. There were plenty of spices that captured his interest. Since Jerad was an aspiring chef, he wanted to leave the experience with the most unusual and rare spices he could find. Suddenly, he found himself sneezing and backed into a camel before he could make a purchase. The camel, alarmed, began screeching and running out of control. His rider, a seik in airy Turkish garb, ran after his transportation, cursing in Turkish all the way.

Some of the vendors could understand the foul language, even if it wasn't their own. Fortunately, the camel had run off course from the bazzaar and hadn't caused any defacement of property. Even though Jerad was embarassed, he apologized and bought the spices he had originally come for. Thanking the vendor, he left and was followed by Diana and Martin.

Immediately, a rather rare and strange sandstorm had developed and the three had to seek shelter. There was a building nearby that many people took cover in, and although a little cramped, Martin, Diana, and Jerad were able to fit in. They weren't able to leave until the danger was over, but they were glad to have gotten away from Jerad's annyoing speeches on why the new Battlestar Galactica was far superior to the original and his theories on various science fiction facts. Diana was becoming irked at her boyfriend and couldn't imagine how things could get worse than what they had, but just in a couple of seconds, Murphy's Law

had to strike twice.

MOM was having difficulty trannsporting the three of them back since the system didn't recognize Jerad's DNA imprint, but with Billy's help the transportation was fixed and they were returned back home. Diana wasn't friendly at all with Jerad. She didn't want to have anything to do with him for a while. Being naïve and clueless, he wasn't quite sure why that was. Shrugging, he went his own way, lost in his own little world.

Chapter 4—Why Is It Such a Big Secret ?

After matters had cooled down a bit, Martin and Diana returned to their studies. Jared was still quite the geek, and he had been aceing every test he had been handed. He had reconnected with Diana and she had forgiven him for the incident in Cairo. It had seemed, however, that he had become curious about Diana's knowledge of the occult and the metaphysical. Just when she was falling in love with him again, he had to become awkward once more.

"I've noticed you have an awful lot of New Age books lying about in here, and I have noticed Star Trek-esque devices as well !", he said, ruining what had been the perfect pizza dinner.

"Yeah, well...maybe I just like to educate and enlighten my mind.", Diana said, trying to avoid the subject.

"What's the big secret, Diana ? Could you tell me ? Honey, I really want to know ! Maybe I can help you out in the future.", Jared offered. He hadn't remembered that he 'helped' Diana only weeks before. She sighed. She did care about him, but he had been getting in the way and following her around when she was on the case with Martin. He hadn't gotten involved like he had with the incident in Cairo, and Diana was thanking her lucky stars for that.

"I'll tell you, but it's the last thing you'll hear from me. Martin and I deal with the paranormal. If you're not educated and trained at an early age, you can't be well prepared to face whatever you face from all sorts

of unbelievable situations. There's only so much you can prepare for, though. Listen, you know I love you, but

you're starting to become a nuisance. Whenever MOM calls me you want to know what she's talking about. I can't allow you to know because you wouldn't understand.", Diana confessed, sadly. And it was true, even though Jared was an exceptionally brilliant person, he wouldn't understand the realm of the paranormal and unusual. He was clumsy and gangly, not at all graceful. He was a genius, but his body was horribly uncoordinated. He would probably grow out of that, but his antics often made Diana look like an idiot.

Sighing deeply she knew she would simply have to let him go. She told him the relationship was beginning to fail and he agreed. He could sense it for a long time and with vacation coming soon, he noticed that he and Diana said that she was going to let me go.

"What, you're breaking up with me ?", Jared asked, utterly shocked.

"Yes, forgive me. I am sure we'll be great friends in the future. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Don't be afraid to cast your line out into the sea of love.", Diana said, sincerely.

"I appreciate you trying to put salve on my wounds, honey but...", Jared said, being stopped only by the jarring flash of a memory eraser. She whispered an audio sugguestion into his ear and slung him over her shoulder. She didn't care how strange it looked or if it would evoke responses of possible hanky panky between them. She took him back to his dorm and laid him in his bed. Covering him up with a comforter, she left quietly. He would be a sleep for a while, but he would have absolutely no recollection of what had happened. It was like it never occurred.

Chapter 5—Back to Basics

Even during vacation the step siblings couldn't get a break. MOM called them once more.

"MOM, we're on Spring Break ! We're in Cancun, relaxing. Can't this wait ?", Martin groaned, pushing his hat visor over his eyes to shield them from the hot, tropical sun.

"Actually no. This time we have a call from the Far East. Looks like we have some oni on the loose.", MOM said. Java didn't want to be a part of the mission, but his muscle would come in handy. MOM promised a meat and potatoes meal any caveman wouldn't be able to resist. He gave in rather easily. MOM knew his weaknesses so very well.

"Arrrghh. Those stupid oni, they never learn. And to think they have Ghost Hunters there, you'd think they could deal with this kind of paranormal activity !", Diana sighed in anguish.

"That's the problem. The Ghost Hunters aren't enough to hold the oni back. That is why they have enlisted our services.", MOM added.

"Well, goodbye vacation !", Martin said, packing up his foldaway chair and drinking the last of his pink lemonade.

Java, Martin and Diana were transported again by "beaming" to Japan and met the Ghost Hunters. They were an intrepid team of 5 friends from different backgrounds, but they were all students, just like Martin and Diana. Unlike the Mystery team, they were still in high school. Java still didn't want to be there. The chill in the air made him intensely uncomfortable, but he knew so long as he didn't run away, there would be a feast waiting back at the lab for him, and that kept him going.

"Thank the Gods you're here. We've tried everything. We were thinking that with your expertiese and experience you could assist us.", the lead Ghost Hunter, Kurumi said, bowing graciously.

"We'll do whatever we can.", Martin reassured them. That was all that was said as the young man, Mako, with his Psi meter began searching for ghostly trails. Fairly soon, the team came upon a shinto temple and the meter was going haywire.

"Jackpot !", Mako exclaimed. Java shivered slightly but continued to follow the others.

The temple had long since been abandoned and its owners were nowhere in sight. Suddenly, all of the candels that had been exstinguished mysteriously lit up and the temperature should've been warmer. But, because of the spiritual activity, the room became unnaturally cold.

"Stay on your feet everyone.", Mai, a priestess noted. Everyone joined hands in the team, as if it came as second nature. Martin and Diana, armed with holy objects, would subdue the oni as soon as they materialized. Java was already threatening the cold air and beckoning the demons to show themselves.

The menacing creatures at last made themselves known and the teams worked as one to fight them off.

Needless to say, a grand battle between the spiritual forces of good and evil was enacted.

Martin and Diana used every tool they had at their disposal. Though oni tend to be crafty, they tried every trick in the book to evade their holy impliments. The fight wasn't far from over though, and all of the paranormal experts were beginning to become slightly aggrivated.

"Java no want to wait no more ! Java want to return home and have big feast !", Java said, easily grabbing a small oni that had cannonballed itself off a wall into his chest. Java simply threw the creature and threw him into a barrage of enchanted charms that Mai threw. Having already been considerably weakened, the oni simply disappeared. But, oni were like insects. If you killed one, they would send forth more scouts that would try to avenge its death. And oni didn't fight fair. They were nasty. They loved to fight back, tooth, nail and claw, and quite literally.

"Ah, damn it ! Another one of those buggers just BIT me on a rather sensitive place.", Mako said, in a little bit of pain, throwing an oni that had bitten him on the rump. He blasted it with a hadoken like attack.

"I'll keep in mind not to make Mako mad in the future.", Martin said to Diana. Diana laughed momentarily, but it was no time for games. Armies of little oni came in, darker than pitch with their white and black horns and discolored fingernails, pointed and poised for clawing.

Joining together, Kurumi, Mako, Mai, Hirochi and Yuri combined their talents with that of the holy impliments that Martin and Diana had. It was a blessing that the holy water had been currently kept hidden for such an occasion, but Diana always kept some particularly in such an emergency. With all the goodness the seven newfound friends had in their hearts, the power was illuminating the temple. In a sudden burst of light, all the oni simply vanished into thin air. After all of that fighting, the seven of them, drenched with sweat, thought it was a good idea to head to the nearest hot springs and have a welcoming, cleansing bath and enjoy a long night's sleep.

The oni never returned to the temple and wouldn't bother anyone again for fear that the Ghost Hunters would come for them again, and other supernatural forces followed the lead of the oni ! It was music to the collegiates' ears. Java sighed and patted happily at his belly.

"Meat and potatoes lay in wait for Java at home !", he said, eagerly. Somehow, seeming to happen in an instant, they had been transported back by the quick and psychadelic experience of "beaming". Before the knew it, Java was back with MOM enjoying a full meal and Martin and Diana were enjoying the last golden moments of their Spring Break in Cancun, Mexico.


Nothing is ever "simple" in the life of those who face the paranormal. Albiet Diana was still friends with Jared, he had moved on and found another girlfriend who was more his type. She wasn't upset. She was pleased that he was happy. They hung out only occasionally, but were still good friends. She admitted that although Jared drove her absolutely batty sometimes but they were like two peas in a pod.

Though the school year progressed on the college experience wouldn't end until next year. Although no vacation was exhempt from calls from MOM, but it was an occupational hazzard. Matters were always chaotic, but Martin and Diana already knew this. The time would come when they would be meeting new recruits to the Mystery solving team and thhey would be their teachers, but for now they were the ones learning and they were the ones always stepping up to the challenges that the realm of the supernatural had for them.

The End

September 21, 2006