Title: Really Nice
Genre: Romance, Fluff.
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Jean Havoc/Roy Mustang
Summary: A tale of two men and the house they live in.
Roy has a really nice house. It has two bedrooms, two baths, a spacious kitchen, a quaint living room, and an office. It is always clean, never dusty or messy. It never smells like an old pizza box or cigarette smoke. It never has too many books on one shelf. Closet and cupboard doors are never left ajar. The coffee table has never suffered from cup rings. Office things stay in the office, kitchen things stay in the kitchen, and bedroom things stay in the bedroom.
Havoc is certain that this is why all the women like Colonel Mustang. His house does not tell them the story of a confirmed bachelor, but gives them hope of ladying over such a domain. It's a false hope, but nonetheless, they are never around long enough to learn the real truths of Roy's house. Havoc is.
They don't spend much time at Jean's apartment and at first he is worried that the state of his home might be offensive. It's what a bachelor pad should look like: a mess. He tries to clean it up for Roy but it doesn't seem to help. Roy is annoyed that Havoc goes to all that trouble and they don't have sex that night. Havoc doesn't clean anymore and goes back to the drawing board. He decides that defect is not with his apartment, but with Roy's really nice house.
Roy has a housekeeper who makes the whole house smell like artificial lemon. Whenever they scuff the hardwood floor stumbling to the bedroom, this magic housekeeper shines it away. When the refrigerator begins to look bare, it is refilled before Havoc can remember to make a comment. The same types of food show up every time. Roy's house runs by this science. This system keeps it polished and vacant. This is the first and only problem Havoc finds. It is the key.
Havoc leaves a glass on the coffee table without a coaster, just as an experiment. It leaves a ring but it cleaned up the next day. Roy never sees it. It was a poorly designed experiment. He thinks that perhaps he will have to come up with something better. He studies Roy's bedroom for a touch of his lover. It is late and dark but he can still sense how vacant it is. The brilliant idea comes to Havoc as he is falling asleep again. He doesn't remember it until a few days later, as they are having sex in the shower.
Havoc buys a red toothbrush and his own tube of toothpaste, a different flavor than Roy's. He leaves them on the sink in Roy's bathroom every night. The bathroom is very white, no rugs, no interesting tile design. The shower curtains are white. Havoc feels like he is in a hotel bathroom. Roy always puts his blue toothbrush and toothpaste in the medicine cabinet. He always puts everything in the medicine cabinet, until the red toothbrush shows up. He tries to fight it at first and puts it away when he sees it, but after a few days, they sit side-by-side in cup on the sink. Havoc takes that as a sign to buy a rug. Roy teases him about his interior decorating hobby.
"The ultimate gay cliché," Roy says. Havoc is appalled and almost rethinks his plan when Roy has the bathroom wallpapered in light blue squares. It isn't the most interesting pattern, but at least it isn't the most obnoxious.
Havoc decides to be more subtle about his improvements, but he knows Roy is aware that they go on, especially when Havoc replaces the dishes, white and round and functional, with a pale yellow, square, and festive set. He goes grocery shopping and stocks the kitchen with different food. He moves in a few coffee mugs from his apartment. He moves in some paintings, cheap replicas of famous works, but Havoc's pockets are only so deep. He buys a new comforter for the bed.
Other new things show up, and the first that Havoc notices is a new lamp buy the bed. The shade is green, which doesn't blend into the monotony.
Havoc meets the housekeeper when he decides to install a hanging lamp in the living room. It's his most ambitious addition and he is happy to learn that she admires his work. She is a nice middle-aged woman who brings her teenage daughter with her to help with the work. She says that it never felt like anyone lived there. Havoc is pretty sure that she knows exactly who he is to Roy because he she keeps her daughter away from him. She is just being a concerned mother.
The really nice house is becoming cozy. Havoc's clothes have snuggled into the bottom drawer of Roy's dresser and he leaves his keys and cigarettes on the nightstand, by the green lamp. There are ash trays carefully placed around the house. Sometimes he steps into Roy's boots when he's in a hurry. He has a key. They argue over who should do the dishes, which is so cozy that it's domestic.
One night, an argument over the dishes turns into something more, nothing serious, but like that time when they didn't have sex because Havoc cleaned up his pad. They haven't been to his apartment in months, in fact he hasn't been there in a week, but he thinks he might go back home for a while and says so.
"Home?" Roy asks. "I thought you were home. Don't tell me you're still renting that apartment when you spend all your time here."
But of course he is, because Havoc never really expected so much to happen, just to make the house more than nice. Havoc thinks there should be more to the discussion but there isn't. Roy ruins the whole argument, just like that. The house has a charming presence now, a blend of Roy Mustang and Jean Havoc. If Roy doesn't deny it, neither can Havoc.
It should be harder to give up the apartment, his space and home, but he does it, slowly, because his rent is paid up for the rest of the month, but surely. When it's done Havoc is less disturbed than he imagines he will be. The house is not a really nice, pristine building and it's not a bachelor pad. It's home, and he helped make it.