Title: Of Orchestras and Flashlights

Pairing: Roy Mustang/Edward Elric

Rating: M

Disclaimer: Don't own a thing…not making a dime…

Prompt: Orchestra, flashlight, bruise - courtesy of sutlers (LJ)

Betas: On LJ – jadedsilk, fadedacolyte, dyingrosetears - Thanks ladies!

Warnings: Language, sexual situations

Notes: This is the result of staying up until 4:30 on a Sunday morning with sutlers creating the LJ comm. 7stages. What happens? She forces me to write her a fic if I ever want to see anything else by her. (Dirty, rotten, blackmailing…) So, here ya go, babe… hope this satisfies you for a little while at least. XD

This is completely DF from Episode 25. Could be considered AU or DF - you choose.

"Roy! What the fuck do you think you're doing?" an outraged Fullmetal Alchemist hissed at his commanding officer in shock and irritation. He glanced around self-consciously. While they were secluded in the expensive box seats, the acoustics in the theater were wonderful – causing sounds to carry easily. The fact that the orchestra was in intermission didn't help. "Have you lost your damn mind?"

"No. I haven't lost my mind, and in regards to your first question… I would think that by now even you could figure out what I'm doing." The Flame Alchemist smirked at his subordinate as he allowed his fingers to continue teasing the younger man's chest and stomach. He nibbled on the slender neck, as if to drive the point home. Even in the dark, Ed knew his face was burning crimson at both the remark and at the accompanying actions.

Ed pushed Roy away slightly "And, just who," he snarled as quietly as he could, "are you calling too small to realize that his much older lover is trying to…" he trailed off as the hand that had been gently kneading the flesh next to his automail shoulder began to travel south along with its companion. "What the hell, Roy? Al and Winry will be back any minute!" Ed desperately tried to shove the older man off before his innocent younger sibling and wrench-wielding best friend walked in on something that they definitely wouldn't want to see. Despite the fact that both Al and Winry knew about the relationship did not mean that they wanted to witness certain events firsthand.

The colonel smirked and ran his fingers lightly over a hard nub earning a gasp before continuing his downward path. "Don't worry, Fullmetal. They are both on the other side of the theater with Hughes(1) and Gracia. When I purchased the tickets, we received seats as far away as possible from anyone else to allow for some… distraction…" Roy trailed off and gave Ed a wicked grin that spoke of many wonderful horrors to come as he leaned forward to trail a hot tongue over the shell of Ed's ear, causing him to shiver in simultaneous anticipation and dread.

Ed took a quick breath before whispering, "Not here, you stupid bastard colonel! That can wait until we get home! It was your idea to come to this bloody concert anyway. I would have been happy just listening to the phonograph at home. But, oh no! You just had to come hear it in person. 'It's not the same, Fullmetal.'" Ed glared at the dark haired man as he finished the very bad impression of the colonel and scooted as far away as he could get without changing seats.

Roy listened to Edward's rant and pretended to be interested. Once the blonde stopped for air, Roy quickly shut him up with a kiss – the best way to keep Fullmetal from talking was to occupy his mouth with something else. Kisses worked wonderfully and were by far the most enjoyable method. As Roy kissed Ed, he allowed his hands freedom to roam as they pleased once more.

Finally – finally! – Ed shut up except for a few almost silent moans as Roy's wandering hands finally reached the raging erection that tight leather pants did nothing to hide. Roy glanced around and realized that being in the highest box seats did have its advantages – no one could see in, especially in the dark. Unfortunately, the sound would be amplified by the excellent design of the theater. Roy smirked. He had plenty of experience keeping the hotheaded blonde quiet. Their numerous office encounters provided plenty of opportunities to practice. Estimating that they had approximately ten to fifteen minutes before anyone else returned to the box, Roy quickly lifted Ed onto his lap, initiating a delightful session of "bump and grind."

Just as they were getting into the moment and Roy had successfully gotten the blonde to forget about complaining and concentrate on more…enjoyable activities, a flash of light went off at the door to the box followed by a metallic thump as a heavy military-grade flashlight landed on something soft and fleshy. A stream of cursing that would have made even Ed proud quickly blistered the air in the theater box.

Of course, the fact that the impressive rant was coming from Fullmetal's "innocent" younger brother did rather put a damper on the moment. As the flash of light faded, the two men glanced, startled, into the irritated eyes of Winry Rockbell whose fingers were twitching for the wrench she had (thankfully) left at home, the shocked and pained eyes of Alphonse Elric as he clutched his bruised human right foot and hopped on his left, and the highly amused eyes of Maes Hughes. As Al continued to hop around, Edward looked from the crowd at the door to the still silent man beneath him.

Suddenly, another flash of light lit the box. Hughes, as usual, had decided to break the silence in the most unpleasant manner possible. Ed scowled as he realized what that second flash of light indicated. Their interrupted tryst was now forever captured on film.

Ed's eyes were blazing as he looked at the bemused man holding him. He clenched his jaw and threatened as softly as he could, "Roy Mustang, I just want to make one thing very clear. No matter how much you whine and beg I am never coming to listen to any orchestra play again! For that matter, I may never go anywhere with you again. You can guarantee that you will be making this up to me tenfold. Just wait until I get you home…"

Alphonse and Winry both choked slightly as Ed glowered at the colonel. Hughes's grin, if possible, became even wider as he took off running out of the theater box with his precious camera tucked against his chest. Edward Elric quickly jumped off his superior officer's lap and began chasing a certain lieutenant colonel and camera down the hall of the theater house.

Roy grinned. Just another normal day in Roy Mustang's life.

(1) I can't kill Hughes off. I love him too much!