She sees things that haven't happened yet.
They haunt her, these visions, and there is hardly ever a peaceful moment. She knows that most people think her a fraud, a phony, a fake. But if they could only see the images she is privy to… Sometimes, she would rather not see anything. She would rather go through life not knowing what was going to happen, not knowing when something devastating or something awful or something horrific would take place. She would rather be normal… but that's impossible.
Blessed, her mother would tell her long ago if she ever dared complain. She wonders if it had ever crossed her mother's mind that maybe it was a curse, too. To be the only one who is different, the only one who Knows. Yes, she thinks, it is definitely a curse. The pain is proof of that.
And so she drinks.
Drinking has given her a freedom unlike anything she has ever experienced. From the first moment that the alcohol slid down her throat, she knew she had found her freedom. From the moment she had first tasted it, she knew that she enjoyed it more than she enjoyed scaring her students, antagonizing her colleagues, riding on thestrals in the dead of night, and any other of her guilty pleasures.
To drink, she has concluded, is to escape. And to escape is worth the constant fear that someone might find out that she turns to the bottle for help.
Of course, she can't let anyone know. It is out of the question – she can't afford people thinking that she is even more of an outsider than they initially thought. Sometimes, though, she feels that they all know, that somehow they are all ubiquitous. But she doesn't stop the drinking for them. If anything, feeling their eyes upon her is what probably fuels her desire for the liquid.
She drinks, and she enjoys her drinking, looks forward to those times where she can just sneak away from the world.
She likes to be normal.
She likes to be free.
Author's Note: The prompt for this one was 'guilty pleasures'. The word ubiquitous means 'able to be everywhere at once', and to fit the word into the drabble was also part of the challenge. Thanks to my friend Luna for looking this over.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.