Disclaimer: Not mine
Notes: Re-uploaded because sending a warning is not the first response for miss-rated fics. Story currently rated T here on with a PG-14 warning line here in the notes.So if you've read this before, that's why you are reading it again. If it was someone who complained about the miss-rating of this story the first time around, I am sorry that you felt you were unable to contact me though a PM, or even a review, to point out the mistake.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard wasn't what anyone would call a prude, even if he wasn't the kiss and tell type. But the sight of one of his Majors sucking face with one of the scientists in a public hallway was enough to make him grimace and keep walking. He'd have to talk to Elizabeth about sending out a memo telling the expedition members to be a little more discreet about where they decided to have their all out tonsil wars. But it was to be expected, they had been in the Pegasus galaxy for two years, most of the original members had come believing they would never return. They were going to start pairing off sooner or later. Sheppard just hadn't counted on encountering such overt displays of… well not really affection… lust maybe?
Whatever it was they were actively displaying for all of Atlantis to see, it was an unwelcome and frustrating reminder of just how long it had been. According to the regulations, he was not allowed to become involved with neither his subordinates nor his superiors, which only counted Elizabeth in this case. And morally he shouldn't become involved with any of the scientists either. He was the military commander of this city, and while the scientists were governed by a civilian, he was still one of the ones who would be sending those people out into possibly hostile situations. He couldn't afford to have his judgment compromised because of a physical or emotional relationship with someone. This severely limited Sheppard's options when it came to relieving the sexual frustration that had been steadily building over the last two years.
He couldn't, morally or ethically, have even a one-night-stand with a member of the expedition to relieve the tension. And while he could relieve the overt signs of the frustration by hand himself, there was no satisfaction in the act. It just made sure that he wouldn't have an extremely embarrassing moment. These left him with the options of simply ignoring the problem as it became more and more frustrating, or try seducing some off world alien woman. Neither of the last two choices held much appeal. Ignoring the problem wasn't going to make it go away, and randomly picking up wired alien STD just because no one else in this galaxy knew what a condom was wasn't Sheppard' s idea of a satisfying encounter.
He missed the feel of another body moving against his. Missed sweat slick skin, hungry mouths, and eager hands. He missed the feel of a body wrapped tightly around his, slick muscles gliding over his dick. His body ached to be able to drive away this frustration into a warm and willing body, or have a willing body fill his to alleviate this unending frustration. He wasn't exactly picky when he got to this point. Man or woman, it didn't matter - all they had to be was willing. But he was the military commander in Atlantis, he couldn't become involved with most people in the city, and this left him with his hand and his imagination, but it just wasn't the same.
And it wasn't just the sex he missed, miss it though he did. He missed having someone to touch. He was very good at hiding the skin hunger that nearly drove him mad but it was a constant. He wanted someone to touch and be touch by. He wanted to hold and be held. He wanted to feel soft skin under his callused hands. It had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with simple contact. He wanted to feel someone run their hands through his hair, the pads on their fingers rubbing against his scalp. He wanted to bask in another' s body heat and let that warmth ease away to ever increasing knots in his shoulders and back. He wanted to be able to press his forehead into the hollow of someone's spine and fall asleep with his breath being reflected back to him warmed by another's flesh. He wanted to nuzzle his nose into the crook of a neck and just take in the simple, clean scent that would be unique to that person.
It didn't really matter what he wanted. He was the Commanding Military Officer in Atlantis, and COs did not go around skimming their hands over the bared flesh of an exposed forearm. It didn't matter how crazy he went being surrounded by so many people with no touch stone among them. Commanding Officers did not need the reassuring feel of someone's heart beating steadily under their hand without a crisis. They did not need someone to wrap themselves around and hold on to. They did not need to touch the tips of their fingers to the small of someone's back to gently guide them along or make them aware of their presence. It was not necessary for a CO to lightly bump shoulders with another person when there was plenty of space in the room.
Unfortunately for Sheppard, he did need those things; he just wasn't going to get them here in Atlantis. He couldn't afford to show what might be seen as favouritism. He couldn't afford to be seen as weak. So, for now, all he could do was look the other way to the necking couples and remember to talk to Elizabeth about that memo.