Warnings: spoilers (especially for Sai!), mild violence, mild language, fluff (?), weirdness, yaoi, shounen-ai, angst, Possessive!Sasuke, POV shifts (they're in third-person though… so not very confusing… hopefully.) Smut at the last segment. Rated M for a reason. Slight sadism and sado-masochism. Just slight, because after all, you can't expect the I'm-gonna-kill-Itachi Sasuke be all gentle and loving, can you:D
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
A/N: Another oneshot T.T;; I find it easier (and faster) to produce oneshots than type down already-planned plots. When I find out why, I'll tell you XD Sorry for the incoherent-ness of this one, I'm typing this rather quickly.
Inspiration: …Secret. Hahaha, my first impression when I saw Sai was like—Hey, isn't that Sasuke in a bad disguise:D Oh, and because Envy (from FMA) and shapeshifting and all those things are rather interesting to read XD
Thanks to: Gonrie for suggesting some things to add in this one :)
PS: I've also updated Please, Teacher!, I'm Married To Who!, and Lone Flower. Please do read them too :) Oh, and leave reviews/comments/criticisms :D They're very much appreciated :D
The air was almost too warm, too hot on his alabaster cheeks, but there was no single drop of sweat that formed, maybe because his face and his facial expression were as desolate and as arctic as ice.
Konohagakure never lost its almost-entrancing warmth, its welcoming atmosphere, and its homey appearance. It was slightly comforting to find that the village he left so suddenly didn't change one bit—no, it's not because of sentimentality, but it was because it meant that Konoha didn't improve, which meant that he picked the right choice…
He shook his head almost ruefully, the long bangs that were all-too-similar to his older brother's swishing gracefully with the passing wind, but the cold expression remained, permanently ingrained on the aristocratic face. There was never a right choice, in his case. Though, being the genius that he is, everything he did must be right; he could never make the wrong decision, because by acknowledging that, he'd have to feel regret, he'd have to admit that he missed Naruto—
No regrets, because I've thought about this a million times before, and regretting meant that the bonds are still there, and I'd be weak again, and I wouldn't be able to kill Itachi, and I wouldn't be able to justify why I left Naruto…
Crimson-tainted eyes almost glowed beneath the shadow of the tall trees on the outskirts of Konoha, and he suppressed the urge to laugh spitefully at Konoha's security. How many Chuunin passed beneath the tree he was perched upon during their rounds? Five, ten, twelve?
It was laughable, really. This was the village that Naruto wanted to protect, this was the village that he wanted to lead one day—and it was oh-so-weak, and he could almost feel the pleasure that would come as he curled his elegant fingers around the Godaime's throat, crushing Konoha painfully with that one blow.
Of course, nothing could compare to the mad rush of pleasure and fulfillment if he could do the same to Naruto—the loudmouth, the class clown, the dobe, the moron, the idiot—here, the avenger almost choked on something that lodged itself on his throat—his rival, his teammate, his friend, his best friend, his most important person—
The constricting feeling on his throat disappeared, and he almost smiled at the relief it brought. Yes, Naruto is his enemy, even though he was also so much more, he remained as the enemy. And the Uchiha was known for his merciless and sadistic ways—so why not do it to the rowdy blond?
No, it's not because he missed the other—it was because he was an enemy, and he should be punishing the other just for his presence, just for the memories that he weaved through Sasuke's heart—and—
The red eyes that were so revered with power and malice and strength nimbly watched the teen that was patrolling the block in front of him. Black eyes, black hair, pale face, irritatingly-cheerful smile—something that he loathed, but he knew, from his past observations and encounters in Konoha, that this person was somebody who was close to Naruto.
He remembered the incident when the other was spouting so much words about brotherhood, bonds and friendship—does he think that he could fathom the deep abyss of shadows and light between me and Naruto!—and he could feel blood boil inside the confines of his arteries and veins. He almost flew to where the cheap replacement was, almost ripped off the face that was similar to him, almost broke the other's body into unrecognizable pieces—but he held himself with the self-control he was known for.
That creature still has some greater use for me…
He convinced himself that he was only formulating this plan because he wanted to cause some more hurt into the already-hurt ex-teammates, especially, especially, most especially, always, always Naruto—
It was because he was an enemy.
And… it was certainly not because he was worried that Naruto would replace him with the ANBU member with eyes and hair too similar to his own.
Illusions – a Sasuke x Naruto Oneshot
See me—and see only me; Love me—and love only me.
ANBU – group Root. Age unknown. Date of birth unknown. Height unknown. Weight unknown. Blood Type unknown. Eye color – black. Hair color – black. Jutsus known include Ink Clone and Super Beasts Imitation Picture Technique. Has a deceased older brother that's not related by blood.
That person, was Sai.
More importantly, that person would soon meet his presence again.
The younger of the two remaining Uchihas—Kakashi didn't count, because he's impure, and he's not an Uchiha—was perched again atop a tree, this time, nearer to the Headquarters. He knew that it is more dangerous here, because the Hokage's Quarters is simply a stone's throw away, but the challenge and the danger appealed to him.
It was only a couple more minutes—he wasn't really sure, because time is not a matter here, because as long as he got as he wanted, then everything would proceed as he planned—before the mop of black hair that reminded him of himself when he was still young and happy and contented—
He killed the urge to murder the other—because that's what he did, didn't he? He severed the ties that held him back to Konoha—for Sai (smiling, happy, and he couldn't become like that again, forever) was already making his way towards Ichiraku. The ramen stand brought upon an overflow of memories again (unwanted, yet treasured, but it hurts so much—) but he shrugged them off without much effort.
He focused on appearing on the alley that Sai would pass by in a couple of seconds, the neighboring roofs and buildings casting eerie shadows over his pale-skinned figure. As expected of an ANBU member (or not, since he didn't notice his presence before, but that's expected as well, since he is much better than this replacement—), Sai picked up on his appearance.
"Uchiha Sasuke," Sai said amiably, but the missing-nin saw the strain on the other's fake smile. Actually, if Sai let his hair grow longer, if he dropped that annoying smile, if he narrowed his eyes, if he dyed his hair—
Too much like me, huh?
He made a set of footsteps away from the shelter of shadows, and the ends of the large purple bow caught the early afternoon light. The Uchiha would have found it strange for the area to lack much people—but he didn't, since he was the one who put most of the supposedly-guarding Chuunin at rest.
He saw the other's left hand settle discreetly on the end of his sword, but he knew he could stop the other's motions, any time he wished, with just one flicker of his hands, with just one surge from the electric chakra.
He let blood-red eyes travel around the other's face, stomach churning with disgust and envy and hatred, because Naruto—that loudmouth, dobe, dead last—probably saw him in the face of this person.
"I suggest you come with me to the Hokage's Headquarters," Sai told him after a pregnant pause. Sai looked emotionless, acted emotionless, but he saw past it all (because he was better) and he saw the slightly-guilty and mildly-expecting look the other's eyes wore.
Sasuke was livid, actually, deep inside, but the only thing that his replacement saw was the malevolent spinning of those deadly Sharingan wheels.
The day was bright and sunny, with fluffy white clouds floating contentedly overhead. The sky has the color of the purest blue, untainted by any haze of rain-clouds, and the wind was soft and soothing against his scarred cheeks. It wasn't too long ago when he could embrace the beauty of the day and be childishly cheerful about the possibility of a picnic.
It also wasn't too long ago when he was still receiving missions on the bridge, endlessly trying to ask his Sakura-chan to just one date, patiently waiting for Kakashi-sensei to show up, noisily bickering with Sasuke—
It wasn't too long ago when Sasuke was still with them.
But time passed, with his training with the pervert hermit, with his failed retrieval mission with Yamato, with his training with Kakashi-sensei—
Time has passed, but it did nothing to dim the brilliantly-burning flame of emotion that he stashed deep beneath the layers of his façade—after all, the rivalry, the brotherhood, they were simply a cover for something more—
It did nothing to dampen the unending will to take back the guideless teen that continuously spiraled down in his darkened goals and lethal ambitions.
He took certain footsteps towards the bridge, mind already set on expecting their lazy teacher to not arrive until he was five hours late. He could already see the cascade of strawberry-pink hair from his position, so that meant that Sakura-chan was early again.
"Good morning, Sakura-chaaaan!" He greeted loudly, even though he couldn't summon the same adoring feeling that accompanied the words before. He could always blame it to Sasuke—since most of the troubles and issues in his life somehow involved the bastard, one way or another.
"Good morning, Naruto," Sakura's smile was bright and sincere, and Naruto wondered if she already moved past the hopes and dreams of happy endings and fairytales. He faintly wondered if he could move on and forget—or at the very least, lessen his not-really-platonic devotion—Sasuke. As soon as he acquired that thought, however, he discarded it, since he's never, never,giving up on Sasuke.
Was he really foolish for clinging to his hopes?
He shook his head slightly, hoping that the action would also get rid of the unwanted questions that danced around his mind. As soon as he stepped closer to his pink-haired friend, however, he felt an undeniable surge of dark, almost evil, malevolent chakra. He turned blue eyes to Sakura, but he noticed that she didn't feel anything.
The twisting feeling from the Kyuubi, however, told him that he wasn't imagining the feeling of a strong chakra lingering around the area. There's a high chance that it posed danger, but there was also a tinge of familiarity in the sensation. It was like a strong perfume that lingered on the article of clothing, no matter how many times it was washed. It was like his love for the bastard, which couldn't be worn down—just masked, just layered, but never eroded—no matter what the circumstances were.
He already let one hand travel to his kunai pouch as discreetly as he could, while his senses tried their best to pinpoint the source of the almost-demonic chakra signature. He took silent steps towards the source, ignoring Sakura's puzzled stare, and he was ready to declare a fight against the presence, when—
"Good morning, Naruto-kun, hag—err, Sakura-chan," The very familiar voice said, along with the ever-present smile, and Naruto calmed down slightly. Sakura moved quickly to beat up their newest 'companion' to the Team, but Naruto's blue eyes remained staring at the dark-haired male.
Maybe it was because he did nothing but think of Sasuke—along with his precious dreams of becoming Hokage—or maybe because he was already missing the bastard—but—
The moment Naruto's eyes locked into Sai's…
…He could have sworn that he saw Sasuke.
"Soooo, Naruto," He heard Sakura's feminine voice ask slyly, over the familiar noise of the walking crowd and the eating customers at Ichiraku. He could still feel a sting of annoyance at hearing the voice—because he remembered that he used to be the center of this girl's world, and it disgusted him, and it worried him to some extent (because this girl was stupid and couldn't see past the murky dirt and the haze of blood and the glare of the red moon).
Then again, everything else pretty much displeased, or discontented, him—except, except—
He walked forward, confident with the knowledge that nobody could recognize him here, because he was good, no, he was better than all of these people assembled in the village—
He wanted to hear what Sakura was going to tell Naruto, anyway.
"…What did you tell Sai? Is he now your new boyfriend?" She continued in a secretive whisper, but to Sasuke, it was as though it was shouted over the whole village plaza. He saw an embarrassed flush take over the eating blond's face, but it disappeared as soon as it came.
Hmm, it seemed that Sai already propositioned Naruto… and the blond turned him down.
The wicked smirk formed on his borrowed lips, and he leaned slightly forward in an attempt to catch the mumbled words that was spoken through the noodles and chopsticks. Those emerald eyes were solemn as she heard the words; Sasuke, however, found his lividness rekindled.
You don't love Sai, huh? He could feel his eyes burning, and if he wasn't careful, he'd let those wheels spin (like an unending carousel into madness and power and oblivion) and he'd lose the self-control he needed for this little game.
He almost bit his lip, almost drew the entrancing liquid called blood, as he stretched the borrowed (I hate these, I hate him) lips into a fake, cheerful smile.
"Naruto-kun, Sakura-chan," He spoke with such casualness that he thought he'd never be able to have. It made him yearn for it, though he was angrier, hatred spurring on his thoughts and his actions, but this was a game, and he'd break Naruto—because maybe, by breaking the enemy, he could be free of those haunting emotions and he could kill Itachi—
Don't forget about me, Naruto—He almost pleaded, but he stopped himself because he never could do that, and the blond wouldn't believe him, and, and—
If you don't love Sai… He continued smiling like his life depended on the simple act, and not on Orochimaru's desires for immortality and not on his brother's genius skill.
Then... who do you love?
He had always known that there was something really weird with Sai. After all, nobody could be normal if he'd comment on your—ahem—penis size while on the hot springs! Nobody could be considered sane if he's continually smiling like a demented puppet, whatever the circumstances may be.
Just like the sudden jolt of the too-exquisite and too-familiar energy, he could feel something strange with the way things have been happening. It was very strange, but he could see the lines of tension and hate crawling beneath the lines of Sai's face; he could almost smell the stench of death and spite that hugged the other's form.
It was like seeing Sai for the very first time—despite that he almost attacked him, and he could see the glimpse of the Sasuke before Orochimaru came, before Itachi murdered the entire Clan—
But it was gone, just like the flicker of a butterfly's wings, gracefully sweeping away, and memories of a happy Sasuke vanished like fire burning the wood, and Sai's different face swam into the surface.
"Naruto-kun," The smooth voice said, and the blond almost shivered, because Sai never spoke like that, he never possessed that velvety quality of voice, he never had that edge on his words…
Naruto was glad that their mission was cancelled and that Sakura already went home after dinner. He wasn't worried about telling Sai that he already loved somebody else. He didn't tell Sai (or Sakura-chan, for that matter) who was the person that held his heart captive, but he supposed that the two knew, even before he realized it fully.
He was worried because Sai was so different today.
"Huh? What is it, Sai?" He asked nonchalantly, as though he wasn't thinking of stabbing the other if he made the wrong move. After all, the chakra signature was so different from Sai's. He knew that his observational skills weren't the best or anything, but he could almost feel the spiked-snake-tongue slithering around his earlobe, taunting him of the person Orochimaru claimed as his possession.
'Sai' didn't answer. Instead, pale hands that were too pale (like the moonlight, the moon) and the eyes were colored too much like blood, and the combination made Naruto see the light of a red moon, and he almost said his name—Sa
He didn't get to say anything more, as lips (that were as soft as feathers, but as cold as a week-old corpse and as deadly as a katana) pressed into his, and Naruto almost sighed, almost, as 'Sai' moved closer to him.
'Sai' insistently pushed him towards his apartment, which was thankfully not too far away. He kept quiet about the fact that Sai never knew his address—after all, wasn't it too obvious? There was only one person who could invoke in him this exhilarating mixture of sadness, happiness, betrayal, companionship, hatred and love.
Somewhere after the first time they kissed, the flicker of the crimson hue disappeared, and Naruto almost pleaded for the other to stop the charade, because—
A certain part of his mind chunked this up as a very realistic dream. And, dreaming of Sai doing this to him wasn't very comforting, especially because of the feeling that he's betraying Sasuke on one unspoken promise between them (I'll never forget you, I'll never replace you).
The two of them arrived on Naruto's apartment too soon (too late, because waiting for two and a half years of separation was too damn long) and pale hands pushed Naruto again against the wall, roughly (hatred and cruelty never parted with the other now, it seemed) before kissing him again.
The blond would have protested against such actions (an untamable spirit) but he found out that he really didn't want to, because it would ruin this orchestra of emotions (even if this is most likely just a dream). Everything was confusing enough; fighting against this rough treatment would mean speaking to 'Sai', and he wanted to hold on to his imaginations (his dreams, his hopes were everything to him, now) a little longer.
Corpse-cold hands traveled inside his black shirt, not wasting time with tickling him, but rather, he scratched blunt fingernails across his tanned torso, marking him with red scratches. The other's lips left searing flames embedded on his jaw, on his collarbone, as 'Sai' nipped, bit, licked and soothed the bruises he gave.
Tanned hands rose and looped around the elegant neck; he didn't want to touch the other's hair (Sasuke's hair was longer than this, tinted with blue-and-black) so he just settled for massaging the back of the other's neck. 'Sai' didn't seem to mind, but maybe that was because he was still busy with leaving angry marks with both his hands and lips.
It wasn't gentle, it wasn't romantic, but it was okay for Naruto, because the other wasn't really the epitome of kindness or romanticism, in any way.
He understood, with the way the other was furiously leaving reminders, hickeys and scratches and wounds and bites.
The first thrust hurt, because there was very little preparation, but it was too painful—and it was okay, because it made everything real. The pain was all too in-character for the other, and it's not like the two of them weren't acquainted with pain.
It only confirmed what Naruto already knew—this was Sasuke, and he's there with him, and it's all that matters—
The blond felt like a burning mass of sensation, even after the affair was over. His body felt lethargic (and gross and sticky and eww) but he didn't move, not when 'Sai' stood up and looked at him with crimson eyes. He almost smiled, but the expression on 'Sai's' face wasn't something to smile about.
Accusations of betrayal were there, and Naruto wanted to explain to the other—
"…You didn't harm Sai, did you?" Naruto asked instead, voice a bit sleepy, but eyes everlasting-blue and awake and searching for any hint of emotion inside those scarlet orbs.
"…How long have you known?" Sasuke replied, shrugging off the blond's inquiry, but the pale skin looked so desolate under the minimal light of Naruto's bedroom.
"…I'll always know you, Sasuke," The Kyuubi vessel said with a wistful voice, and he almost missed the way those scarlet irises widened. After all, Naruto knew that Sasuke has been expecting him to be intimate with Sai—but that was impossible, because the bastard already took up so much space on his heart, not leaving any more vacancies for others.
"I need to kill Itachi—you know that," Sasuke said, shifting away from his Henge, and leaving the purple-bow-wearing Sasuke. The blond assumed that Sasuke left Sai somewhere out, but he supposed that even the Uchiha wouldn't kill Sai just like that.
There was an urgency in Sasuke's words that froze Naruto's hopes, but he smiled, erasing doubts with that simple movement. He always believed in himself and in Sasuke before—and it wasn't hard to do that now, and possibly, forever.
"So? I'll still take you back and kick your ass," The blond replied with a grin, letting unspoken words pass through the air between them. I believe in you—I'll wait for you—I'll never give up on you—I'll never forget you—I'll never replace you—You and only you—
Sasuke's face melted into a look of faint annoyance, before apathy and coldness overwhelmed that flicker of emotion. Those deadly (sweet, like blood and life, even though the other was almost dead) lips twisted into something akin to the superior smirks the other favored before.
"Next time Naruto, when you talk to Sakura, when you accept orders from Kakashi—" Sasuke said with a dead tone, but it was filled with morbid amusement and cunning evil, "I can slip inside this village anytime I want and flawlessly transform into anyone I want…"
"Be careful, dobe, because who knows…" There was something razor-sharp with those words.
"I might be the one you're talking to," Sasuke finished, and he disappeared into the shadows of the room, leaving Naruto staring almost numbly into the space he left. The words sounded cruel, true, but the blond already knew that what the Uchiha said always possessed something underneath it.
"Sasuke will be back," Naruto breathed out, the stained sheets pooling around his body honed by training and determination, heartbeat pounding excitedly as he vowed to train hard the next morning to be much stronger than now—because Sasuke will be back—
And next time, their love and their reunion wouldn't be just an illusion.
A/N: I know that Sai is a great ANBU but I'm pretty sure that Sasuke could SO kick his ass :D
Sasuke's POV: I think I'm improving on writing Sasuke's spiteful POV XD Anyway, comments regarding the writing style and the characterization are most welcome!
Naruto: He's a bit too uke-ish, but he missed Sasuke, and he kind-of understood Sasuke's jealousy, so he's trying to "give way", so to speak :D
I really hope that I captured the thought processes of a human XD (If not, maybe the way I think is just really weird… too jumpy…)
Mild sadomasochism: Like I said in the warnings above, you can't expect Sasuke to be all gentle and loving at this point. And, like Naruto said, pain made things more them, more real. Gosh, I've been reading too much Envy x Ed :D
Ending: The ending is a bit open again (like my Moonlight Kaleidoscope) because the manga is still ongoing and nobody could really know what would happen next :D A happily-ever-after is hard in this case, but the ending wasn't tragic either :D
PS: I've also updated Please, Teacher!, I'm Married To Who!, and Lone Flower. Please do read them too :) Oh, and leave reviews/comments/criticisms :D They're very much appreciated :D