Disclaimer: I of course do not own Twilight or any of the characters in this story. Stephenie Meyer does.
This is just a story that was floating around in my head so I hope you like it or at least see where it is coming from. It is also the first piece of writing I have done for fun in I don't know how long. Please review.
The phone went dead again. The funeral, the boy had said Charlie was at the funeral.
Blackness clouded my vision and a pain that I didn't know existed rushed through my body. The concept was so hard to grasp. Death, it had taken her life, the life I had left to protect. No, death had not taken her life it was given her life. How could she, how… how could I? This was my fault. Waves of guilt tore through me. I had chosen to leave her even with the best intentions it was a mistake.
Nothing in the world would ever be right. There was that word again, right. After all my pondering of right and wrong I never thought anything could go this wrong. My Bella was gone. I left to keep her safe for her to have a future and everything had ended. I wanted to destroy something kill someone even if it was wrong, the angry monster growled inside of me. I needed to make the right choice this time. There was only one right thing for me to do for my existence no longer mattered. My contingency plan was now a necessity because I could not live without her. The numbness washed over me making me a shell of what I use to be.
I left the tenement building, dropping my cell phone in a trashcan, so no one could disrupt my plan. So no one could try to console me over a loss so deep there was no resurfacing. I tried not to think about my family. I knew that Esme and Carlisle would be heart broken at the thought of losing me but I no longer had a reason to exist. They would understand in time, Bella made my existence bearable even when I wasn't with her; the knowledge of her was enough. There was always the option of my returning even though that would have broken the promise it gave me some small glimmer of hope. Now there was only darkness and death.
As the plane began to ascend the numbness started to subside. This was dangerous. I tried not to think about what happened to my Bella, what hand I had played in her….. The word was so hard to use I couldn't think that about her not yet. My emotions began to cycle between grief, anger at myself, even anger at her, hatred for my hand in all of this, and utter despair.
I pushed the difficult memories of our goodbye from my mind. I focused on the meadow and all her lovely warm human qualities. But the dark thoughts crept their way in. Flashes of her birthday and my horrible lies to convince her I did not love her. As if that were ever possible. She was my world. The past tense made reality close in around me. I couldn't take the pain and the guilt. I urged the plane to move faster. Soon I would be in Italy and my fate would be decided. The Volturi would grant my request or I would force their hand. My existence would be over. I allowed myself to think about Carlisle for a brief moment he had always believed that by being the way we were it would redeem us in some way. He felt that we could be forgiven. If that were true then I would get to see Bella soon and if not then hopefully the pain would not follow me to the afterlife.
The plane finally touched down in Italy and I quickly located a car to drive myself to Voltera and my destiny. I had to approach the Volturi in a respectful manner I did not want my visit to reflect poorly on my family. I would approach Aro with my request explaining that this existence was something I could no longer take.
Once inside Voltera I parked my borrowed car and headed to the residence of the Volturi. I was greeted by a human receptionist. The warmth of her body and the sound of her beating heart made a wave of emotion crash over me. The pain was becoming unbearable again but soon this would be over. The girl directed me to a set of doors at the end of the hallway. I made my way as quickly as possible to my impending fate.
"Edward Cullen, what a lovely surprise." Aro seemed delighted by my presence. "Is Carlisle coming to Voltera as well?"
"No, I am afraid not Aro. I am alone and here on business more than pleasure."
I looked around the room where several faces I knew stared back at me curiously. I was bombarded by all the thoughts about my business so I decided to clear it up quickly and avoid all the aimless chatter interrupting my mourning. The pain had finally taken me over completely and I needed to end it.
"Aro I have come to ask the assistance of the Volturi. I no longer wish to exist."
A new round of thoughts filled my head. I tried to block them out and focus on Aro.
"Edward I am not sure I understand what you are asking or why?"
"I am asking you to destroy me. I have lost everything that matters to me and I can bare this existence no longer."
"Has something happened to your family that we are unaware of Edward?" Aro's concern showed on his face.
"No sir, my true love, my escape from everything that we are no longer lives and so I wish to no longer exist."
I could hear the thoughts of Felix and Demetri already planning on how they would destroy me. This would be fun for them. Just then Aro interrupted.
"Edward how did this happen? Will you let me see this love of yours?"
I had almost forgotten Aro's powers to hear people's thoughts like me only differently. Aro could read any thought you ever had but he had to be touching you. I stepped towards Aro and placed my hand in his out stretched one.
Within seconds Aro knew every feeling I ever had for Bella, the way her blooded called to me, the way her mind blocked me out and how she was now gone forever. He could also feel every ounce of pain this caused me. Aro released my hand and looked at me for a moment blocking his thoughts from me.
"She was a human," he said in a very puzzled voice.
"Your powers, they did not work on her ever?"
"But Alice could still "see" her?"
"Yes, that is how I know she is gone. Alice had a vision."
"Her blood it called to you unlike any other and yet you refrained from drinking and even when you had to drink to save her you managed to control yourself and stop."
"Yes" it was a whispered reply as the memories clouded my brain. Her scent, her blush, her lovely laugh all assaulted my thoughts. All were things that I would never see or hear again.
"Edward this is a very unique situation. Not one of us has ever fallen in love with a human that remained human after knowing our secrets. Even though it is quite clear she accepted you for exactly what you are and even knowing that her blood called to you she was still not afraid. This is fascinating really. Your relationship was deeper than any I have ever felt."
Fascinating, my personal tragedy, the death of my one true love was some sort of entertainment for him. A sense of anger started to rise in me but that would not resolve anything. I restated the purpose for my visit.
"Aro, please about my request…."
"Ahh yes, your request. I feel it necessary to discuss this with my brothers. It is a highly unusual request and you are a very talented vampire. Please give me some time. Demetri please show Edward to a guest room. You can wait there until we are done."
"Thank you Aro."
I hoped this deliberation would not take long. No matter what Aro decided it would end tonight. I closed my eyes and saw her face smiling as if there was anything to smile about. You promised Bella, you promised to be safe. The anger had resurfaced again. I was angry at her for feeling she had no other choice but I was furious with myself because I had left. I had made a choice that set into action things that I never thought would happen, things which I could not fix.
I sat there lost in thought about Bella and everything I could have done differently. Maybe I should have stayed away from the very beginning but I was too selfish. I wanted to be near her I needed her warmth in my life.
I am not sure how much time had past while I was pondering all the mistakes I had made, all the things that would haunt me for the remainder of my existence. I found some solace in knowing ti wouldn't be much longer. Just then I could hear Demetri outside the door. Aro had made his decision.
I walked back through the large doors waiting for my fate.
"Edward, I truly understand your reasoning for this request but I feel that out of respect for my dear friend Carlisle I can not do what you ask. However I would like to offer you a place here with us at Voltera. Edward you have such an amazing gift it would be a waste to destroy you."
I knew to some extent that this would be their choice. I was seen as valuable for my abilities but to me there was nothing left to value in this existence. I needed to figure out a plan.
"Aro I do not wish to sound rude but I am of no value to anyone at this time."
"Edward, please consider this. There are plenty of female companions here for you."
"This is not about finding another companion." The contempt in my voice was hard to hide but did he seriously believe that I could replace Bella. Did he think that any of these vampires were half as worthy as she was? "Aro I am afraid you do not completely understand the situation. It is time for me to go."
As I turned to leave the room I heard Aro, "Demetri, Felix please keep an eye on our distraught friend. Make sure he does nothing to expose us."
When I left the Volturi I realized it was dawn. I began to plan the various ways I could anger the Volturi. A killing spree would be effective. The Volturi always brought their food in from outside the town so there were never murders here. I thought this plan through but it just didn't seem right. How could I take innocents in a quest to end my existence? I couldn't. I moved on to a different plan. Perhaps showing off my strength would be the way to go. It was nothing for me to lift cars over my head and throw them a few hundred feet.
As I continued to walk through the plaza I realized that the sun was beginning to rise and shine brightly over my miserable existence. I quickly ducked into the shadows. A memory crossed my mind of the last time I was in the sun in the meadow with Bella. It was the simplest of ideas really, no one would be hurt and nothing would be destroyed except for me. The sun would be brightest at noon and there was a festival today celebrating the destruction of all vampires hundreds of years ago. Of course that was started by the Volturi themselves so to expose us on this day was sure to bring swift consequences. It was decided. I would simply walk into the sunlit plaza at noon for all humans to see. There was of course only one human I wished to see me while I sparkled in the sun but it could not be. I waited in the alley way near the clock tower thinking of my Bella and all the many things I would never see again. Noon could not come fast enough.