He Did it His Way
The Mudblood Revolution
Merlin's Oath, Part III
Disclaimer: I obviously do not own a billion dollar literary work, if I did, I would sell it to Rorschach's Blot just for the pleasure of reading books 8-50. In fact, I'm so poor I am going to be buried in a rented tuxedo... I will have the store bill our town council..
A/N: Sorry that it is taking so darned long to update, I keep getting waylaid by real life. I have also been getting tripped up by plot bunnies that have nothing to do with this story. Please look at the bottom of my profile page! There is a link there to my new blog/update site. I am posting some of my older stories first, but will also be posting WIP work in sections as I finish it.
The Leaky Cauldron
The rest of the school year went by so fast that Harry and friends hardly realized where the time had gone. Before they knew it, final exams were upon them and Harry and his brides-to-be were preparing for their wedding. Today he was meeting with Arthur Weasley, the Queen's new Royal Governor to the magical world, not that same magical world knew it....yet. Arthur had agreed to walk Daphne down the aisle in lieu of her deceased Death Eater father. Arthur had been quietly assessing different people associated with the Ministry in order to build a core group to run everything once the Queen's edict became effective in June. Doing this without breaking his secrecy oath was wearing on him; he looked like he had not slept in weeks.
" So Arthur, how is the staffing search going?" asked Harry.
"Not well Harry. There are too many departments that have hide-bound traditionalists manning them. It seems that every time I think I have someone figured out, they open their mouths and say something that would disqualify them for the post that I would like to offer. An example, I was looking at Perkins, the fellow who works with me at Misuse of Muggle Artefacts to head up the new Muggle Affairs Department. I took him out to lunch at that muggle Italian restaurant down the street from the Ministry, and when the waitress mixed up his order, he gave a twenty minute diatribe about how worthless muggles are and how they can't do anything right. I thought I was going to have to call in the Obliviators. Not exactly the kind of person I can have meeting with the Prime Minister."
Harry shook his head. "I don't envy you in the least. It seems that much of the Ministry is a living example of the 'Pieter Principle.'" At Arthurs quizzical look, he continued, "The Pieter Principle states that in any given organization, there will be people who are promoted to their level of incompetence. Once there, they stay forever. That said, I think that you are looking at this from the wrong angle. You already know that the Ministry is headed by a bunch of traditionalists; they will all have to be replaced."
"All of them, Harry? That will cause a panic in the ranks."
"No, you are just going to have to bring people up from the ranks. Recruit your department heads from those people who have been around long enough to know how the Ministry works, but not long enough to become too set in their ways. Look for the people who have been ridiculed for new ideas; make them your new department heads, just make sure that the ideas are compatible with the new Ministry policies. You are also going to have to close some departments, or change the very focus of those departments."
"Well, for one, the Department for Control of Magical Creatures. Right now, they are tasked with 'controlling' such sentient beings as werewolves, centaurs, vampires and others. What you are going to need there is more along the lines of embassies for sentient beings. Even better than that would be to recognize those beings as full fledged members of the community. There will be goblins, house elves and other beings in the new House of Commons, they should be held to the same standards as witches and wizards. They can have their communities with leaders chosen by their own means, but still equal under the law. A law that recognizes all as equal is what the Queen has tasked you with. You are also going to have to tear down all of the barriers that have held back people by discriminating by blood status or medical conditions. If I were you, I would get the assistance of a bunch of half blood and muggleborns to go through the discriminating laws and let them cut them out. You will need a working legal system and basic law the day you take office. Swear them to secrecy but don't tell them why you are doing it. That way you will not be violating your oath."
"That is quite a bit to chew on. I think that I will tap Remus Lupin for one of the departments. Do you think that Hermione would be available for some of the research?"
"I'm sure of it. You should ask her for copies of the Magna Carta and the United Nations conference on Human Rights documents. That would be a good start to levelling the playing field. You do know where your biggest problem is going to be, don't you?"
"The Department of Mysteries?"
"Right in one. They are independent of the Ministry, even in much of their funding. You are going to have to meet with Her Majesty and have her bring them under your authority under Merlin's Oath. They will scream about it, but in the end, they will have to do it. Every government has secrets, but they still need accountability. There will probably be a time that they will need to report directly to Her Majesty, but for now they should report to the Governor."
"Just one more thing on an overloaded plate. Now why don't we talk about something really important? How are the wedding plans coming along?"
Harry laughed. "From my side, they are going well. Of course, for guys, we just have to show up on time, dressed in the right clothes and reasonably sober. Now as far as Daphne and Jennifer go....That's a whole different story. Absolutely nothing is right. The other morning, I walked into their quarters to give them each a kiss to start the day, they rolled out of bed, jumped on their menstrual cycles and ran my arse over!* Now I just try to stay out of their way."
"Are you succeeding?"
"Not as much as I would like. I do have the excuse that I am cramming for my N.E.W.T.S. With all of the private instructions, I am scheduled to take them a week before the wedding."
"When will the girls take theirs?"
"Right now we are shooting for December. They will be using tutors next year rather than going back to Hogwarts."
"When you finish your tests, come see me, I can figure out some place that you will fit in well."
"Arthur, with all due respect, I don't think that would be a good idea. We are trying to break the back of the pureblood faction controlling the Ministry. I need to find my place in life on my own merits, not because of who my parents were." Seeing the other man start to object, he continued. "I know that it would not be the case with you, but the outside world would see me as no different than Lucius Malfoy, using his status to gain favourable treatment. I will keep my seats in the House of Lords, but that will be the extent of my government service."
"If you're sure Harry, far be it from me to contradict you. The last thing I need is to be seen as some sort of puppet with your hand up my back. I need to get back to the office; I've got the check."
The two men got up and got ready to leave, Arthur dropping a couple of galleons on their table to cover lunch.
Harry originally planned to have his wedding during the Christmas break, however that was not to be. Besides the fact that the Archbishop of Canterbury refused to close Westminster Abbey for the remodelling during the Christmas break; the soonest he would allow the wedding and the refurbishing work was the week after Holy Week, culminating in Easter Sunday, but the girls also demanded more time to plan the wedding properly. Other than the obvious reason of sexual tension and wanting to start the honeymoon soon, Harry had no good reason to deny them the extra time.
About that sexual tension though.... Harry thought that he might very well go insane by the time of the wedding. Jennifer and Daphne seemed to be intent on driving him to madness with their teasing. They put on a impromptu fashion show one evening, modelling their undergarments and some of the lingerie they had received at their wedding shower. It was all Harry could do to keep himself from jumping up and ravishing them both. He would have to have dragged his chair along because Jennifer had taken his wand and Daphne had stuck him to the chair and petrified his arms so he couldn't use a wandless spell to free himself.
It was especially hard for Harry to contain himself when the girls began kissing and fondling each other, all the time looking at him and asking if he would like to be in the middle. When they finally let him loose, he walked painfully, bent over, to the bathroom for an ice cold shower.
Damn! He couldn't wait for Easter to be done with!
Snowdonia National Park
Voldemort and crew had taken over an abandoned farm house in the park for their headquarters. The defection of Pierre LaFort and his information regarding Voldemort's location had forced them to flee England for the less hostile mountains of Wales. This location also made it harder for the new recruits who might have had second thoughts to make their way to the Ministry to defect. Voldemort's new training officer, a German named Fritz Steinhauer, was a former GSG-9 officer who had been dishonourably discharged for brutality. He was currently making life hell for the other Death Eaters whipping them into shape, sometimes literally. Steinhauer had two brothers, Franz and Dolph, who were in Germany recruiting among the pureblood factions, many of whom were involved as youth in Grindlewald's forces and the Hitler Youth. The new recruits would make their way to him using muggle means, then be marked.
Umbridge was still the second in command, because she was not only sadistic, but also efficient. Although not a strong witch, she took to the Cruciatus Curse with an abandon that would have brought a jealous tear to Bellatrix Lestrange's eye. Voldemort did not really trust her, but he kept her in line with a promise to make her Minister of Magic when he took down the Ministry. Voldemort figured that would last about a month, just until she cleansed the Ministry of mudbloods and put his loyalists in position, then he would kill her, if for no other reason than that simpering, whinging voice.
Voldemort figured that it would take until the end of May for his forces to be strong and well trained enough to take on the Ministry. He had, with his foreign fighters, a force of 100 strong. If he could double that by the end of May, using the lesser trained Death Eaters as shock troops, then unleashing his hardened troops, the Ministry would fall like a house of cards. With Dumbledore out of his way, Hogwarts would fall quickly. He didn't even count Harry Potter to be any problem; all the brat had ever been able to do was escape him and the incompetent Death Eaters like Lucius Malfoy. The reason he failed previously was that he had attempted to make the Ministry fall from the inside, by placing people in positions to make the Ministry weak. At the best, they had been incompetent. At worst, they were weak willed idiots who would just as easily turn on him, having proven they were traitors.
For no other reason than boredom, Voldemort relaxed into a meditative position and searched for his link to Potter. For the first time in ages, he caught the teen unaware and got a glimpse of what Potter was seeing. And feeling.... there was a girl in front of him wearing nothing but a tiny silver and green bra and thong knickers. She was dancing in front of Potter, but he was looking around another girl in order to see the first. The one sitting on Potter's lap and grinding was wearing a similar get up, but in different colours. It seemed that Potter was in a high state of sexual tension. He watched as the second girl got up from Potter's lap and joined the first in her dance, all the while kissing and caressing the first girl, who he recognized from reports as a Slytherin sixth year. Suddenly, there was a blinding flash of pain, and Voldemort keeled over, falling to the floor.
At the sound of her Lord's body hitting the floor, Dolores Umbridge rushed into the room to her master's side. "My Lord, is there anything I can do?"
Voldemort looked into the frog like face of his second, compared it to what he had seen through Potter's eyes and groaned out; "Dolores, stand still a moment.... CRUCIO!
Harry was having a great time watching Daphne do her bump and grind dance while Jennifer did the lap dance, that is until Jennifer got up and joined Daphne. He then had a flash of pain in his scar, which began bleeding. The pain was so intense that Harry lost consciousness for a moment. He awakened to find Jennifer daubing his forehead with a damp cloth while Daphne was at the fireplace frantically calling for Madam Pomphrey. He cleared his throat and announced,
Ministry of Magic
Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Department
Arthur Weasley sat back in his chair following a long day at work. They had been called on several muggle baiting calls, from ballpoint pens charmed to spit acid when used to a full set of biting teacups at a muggle women's garden club meeting. The Obliviators had put in some overtime on that one, having to chase down a attendance list of over a hundred women. Luckily one of the women was a squib who was able to call in on the fellytone. The Ministry maintained an emergency number at the Leaky Cauldron for just such purposes. He looked over at his officemate, Perkins.
"I'm heading home. Are you about ready?"
Perkins waved him off. "Go ahead Arthur. I just got a memo about a cuckoo clock that someone charmed so the bird flies around the room insulting the muggles."
"All right then, I'll see you Monday." Arthur left the room, anxious to get home to some of Molly's cooking.
Perkins waited a few minutes until he was sure Arthur was gone, then went to Arthur's desk and used an unlocking charm on the drawer. He was going to find out what Arthur had been hiding for the past few weeks. He had seen Arthur working on a large rolled up parchment, but when he asked about it, Arthur would roll it up, make some lame excuse, then put it away. This had Perkins losing his normal blasé attitude and begin burning with curiosity.
Perkins found the parchment, took it out and unrolled it. What he saw was an organizational chart, with Queen Elizabeth on the top, Tony Blair directly underneath, with a parallel line to Arthur's name and the title 'Lord Gryffindor, Royal Magical Governor', then a series of lines to boxes made up of ministry departments, some in existence now and some that were new. There was a separate group of lines showing the existing Wizengamot, titled 'House of Magical Lords, and another group that was titled 'Elected Magical House of Commons'. The outrageous part of that were blocks showing seats reserved for goblins, house elves and 'other beings'.
Perkins sat back in his seat with a thump. It was impossible, but the proof was sitting right in front of his face; Arthur Weasley was a traitor to Magical Britain! He was planning a revolution that would turn the government over to muggles, mudbloods and creatures! And he had placed himself where the Minister of Magic should be, doing away with the office completely and reporting only to the Queen, a MUGGLE! This could not stand! He noticed that most of the Ministry spots were not filled in, but he had a werewolf heading an office called, of all things, Lycan Affairs. He needed to get this to the Minister right away. Weasley would be in DMLE custody before morning, then he, Perkins, would be the Head of the Department! He rolled the chart up and began to stand up, only to be met by the steely-eyed gaze of Arthur Weasley. Perkins gulped. This was not the gentle wizard he had worked with for the past fifteen years; it was the Arthur Weasley who had been known by the Unspeakable code name Bulldog, for the relentless way he tracked and put away Death Eaters back in the first war.
"Going somewhere with that"? Arthur asked, gesturing at the rolled up chart.
"A-a-arthur! Surely not you. Planning a revolution? This is treason!" Since Perkins saw no way out of this, he figured he might as well try to bluff his way past Arthur. He also realized, with a sinking stomach, that it was not going to work.
"Perkins," Arthur said with a sigh, "I was going to make you a department chief, until you went off on those muggles at the restaurant last week. No Perkins, this," pointing at the chart, "is not treason, the way this Ministry has been run the past few hundred years, now THAT is treason. The Ministry was formed to keep the King's peace in the magical world; it was never intended to be separate from the Monarchy. It is out of control and the Queen has decided to bring the magical government back into the fold. Now I could just order you to keep it secret under the authority of Queen Elizabeth II and Merlin's Oath, but I could not be sure that you would do it. Breaking the Oath would mean you would lose your magic and become a squib, but I can't be sure that you wouldn't do it anyway, trying to call my bluff. I assure you though, it is no bluff."
Perkins was beginning to sweat. "So what are you going to do, Arthur? Kill me? I'm loyal to the Ministry, not muggles!"
"Perkins, didn't you feel your magic responding when I mentioned Merlin's Oath? That Oath is what keeps the magical world as subjects to the Monarchy, with all the rights and responsibilities. I'm bound by the Oath, you're bound by it, and every other magical being in Britain who has ever uttered the name of Merlin is bound by it."
"I'll never be bound to serve some damn muggle!" With a shocked face, Perkins felt 'something' leave him. Arthur shook his head sadly.
"What you just felt was your magic leaving you. You are no more than a squib now. I'm sorry Perkins, but I can't have a squib running around with the information you have in your head right now. OBLIVIATE!" Arthur then took the organizational chart from Perkins and guided the befuddled squib outside, side-along apparating him to his home, where he stood outside and watched him go inside before apparating back to the Burrow. Perkins would never know why he just woke up one morning with no magic, but Arthur would let him quietly retire with a full pension.
* They say that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, therefore all credit for this line goes to the genius comedian and ventriloquist Jeff Dunham and Walter. Dragonstorm 316 corrected me on this one; I incorrectly attributed the line to Ron White..... but can't you just hear him saying that while holding that glass of scotch and that huge cigar that looks like a turd from a german shepherd?