Different Kind Of Truth
Fandom: Bollywood - Fanaa
Summary: Rehan's inner thoughts on his grandfather, Zooni, and who he really is. Mad crazy spoilers for the ending, obviously.
Notes: Unbetaed. Inspired by dangermousie on LJ :) Concrit appreciated, considering I wrote this in fifteen minutes!
There are certain thoughts Rehan clings to when he needs to get through the day.
Rehan knows that he is nothing but a shell, a ghost of a man who operates like a robot. He feels neither high nor low. When he thinks about his life, his goals, his desires, there is a strange detachment in it all. This is the way it must be. He's been groomed for years to care about one thing and one thing only: the mission. The mission to free the Kashmiri people from oppression and give them a land of their own... by any means necessary. Nothing else matters. Not the lonely nights listening for hours on end to tapped radio tranmissions from the Pakistan army. Not the countless men he's killed, their eyes rolled back in terror and pain. Not even the fact that his grandfather warped the mind of an innocent child and turned him into what he is today: an empty vessel without a spark of life within him. He doesn't let those things affect him. He is a single-minded machine. He doesn't care what his grandfather turned him into.
Except he does care.
And maybe he wouldn't have done anything about it, but let the hate fester inside him. He would have done whatever deeds his grandfather wanted him to, all the while silently letting the bitterness rage within. But then Allah had brought him back to Zooni, and that was when he realized that he was not a shell and he was not a machine. He was a man. A man with weaknesses and strengths, with lies and truths. A man who had done disgusting and horrible things, who had loved a woman so deeply and completely that it hurt to even think about it. A man who had seen the pure and innocent love of his son, a man who once had his own childlike innocence torn away with the sound of an automatic rifle.
This could have been his life, a life with his wife and his child, secluded in the mountains with nothing to do but play in the snow or sit together by the fire while Zooni's parents looked on fondly. This could have been his life. But hai Allah, kismet had decided to pay him back for many years of sins.
Her eyes are bloodshot and terrified, overflowing with fearful tears. She's cradling him and holds him tightly, panicked as Rehan's eyes start to lose focus. But he's no longer scared of who he is or what he became. None of that matters anymore. His grandfather is gone. The cruel man will never be able to destroy the innocence of his son or threaten Zooni from the shadows. Rehan has done right by his Zooni, and that gives him all the freedom he needs to leave this world with a smile on his face, even as a stray tear rolls down and freezes to his cheek.