Operation Eye Opener.

A/n : Disclaimer – I don't own any of the characters or settings. I am borrowing them for this fic.

I am sure that I owe someone a nod for the 'Denial' joke but I can't find it anywhere. If anyone recognises it as something they have used please let me know.

References to Belgian detectives and Egyptian rivers are inspired by an Agatha Christie's novel 'Death on the Nile'.

I would like to thank my plot bunnie who goes by the name of Guy Robinson and is my boyfriend. I hope that the scenes come over well. And yes! I did include chocolate! Twice!

The chess set that is referred to in the scene between Radek and Carson, is taken from the story 'The Song of Silent Rivers' by SpecialAgentJim as featured on Please go and read. (It contains a Zelenka/Weir ship). Thank you for allowing me to use it. I hope that the sentiment comes over well!

'O my Luve is Like a Red Red Rose – By Robert Burns. (For full poem please go to – Multiple. (I'm not sure that there will be that many, if any, but this covers my rear end!)

The story takes place somewhere in Season 2 after Trinity.

Rating – T. Just to be sure as there will be some potty language.

This is being written for the McWeir ficathon. Issued by Taurichick.(Beth.) As this is my first foray in to this I hope you like it. (If not then please let me know and I promise that I will say sorry! ;-) )

Summary - Write a humorous and/or fluffy fic where Elizabeth and Rodney are oblivious to their feeling s for each other, but they're really clear to the rest of the Atlantis gang, who hatch a plan to make them see the light. (Do not include SWAMA, slash.)

Dr Heightmeyer was sitting in her office when she got a call from Colonel Sheppard.

"Are you free for a talk?"

Kate sat there, a little bemused. It normally took Dr Weir and some not so veiled threats from Dr Beckett regarding enforced R and R and a very detailed physical to get him to come and see her and now he was coming to see her of his own fee will. This was unusual to say the least.

John burst trough the door, (or at least he would have done if he hadn't had to wait for it to slide open!), and flopped himself on one of the seats in Kate's office.

"Nice of you to drop by. You know I never said that I was free. As it happens I am, so please feel free to tell me you r problem."

John looked at her, his brown eyes blazing.

"Oh, oh. There's something that's got to him." she thought, as she looked at him in silence waiting for him to start.

As she was watching him intently, he shot up from his seat and began to pace the room, rubbing a hand through his hair as he did so. Kate's eyes followed him.

Suddenly he came to a halt in front of her. Turning to face her, he placed both his hands on his desk and rested his weight on them.

"They're driving me crazy.!" he let rip as he looked down on her.

Looking back up at him, she responded, "Who?"

"Dr's Weir and Mckay. That's who!" he almost spat the words out.

Kate had never realised how intimidating the Colonel could be until now. Standing up to her full height, she walked round the desk to stand beside John.

Looking at him she said, "Let's start by taking a seat shall we?"

Gently she led him back to the seat where he had started.

"Now. Why don't we start from the beginning?' she said calmly.

John looked at her in silence for a while.

"I'm sorry Kate. They really drive me crazy. I mean everyone knows that they're in love. I've seen the way she hangs on every word he says at our morning meetings and mission briefings. Same as I've seen the way that he looks at her when she is talking. They're so in love. It's ridiculous!"

Kate wondered where this was going. However she carried on regardless.

"Do you have a problem with them being in love?" she asked, wondering what kind of answer she was going to get.

John looked at her, a bewildered look on his face.

"Ok." thought Kate, "This is going to be harder than I thought."

" Is there any reason for Dr's Mckay and Weir not to be in love? I mean, do you have any reason why they shouldn't be in love?"

As she looked at him, a sudden look of recognition came across his face followed by a slight flush of pink.

"Well I never." she thought, "He's blushing. That's sweet!" she couldn't help smiling.

"Er…no! I have no reason why they shouldn't be together. In fact, it's the exact opposite. I think they look really good together."

Kate pursed her lips and said, " Ok. So what's the problem? If you are happy with them being in love, why are you getting so worked up about it?"

John looked at her as if she should know what he was talking about.

"You know I said everyone knows that they're in love."

Kate nodded. Even she had noticed the looks that the two exchanged during meetings. It wasn't that difficult to work out that they were in love.

"Well that's not quite true. You see there are two people who don't know they're in love."

" Oh!" Kate raised an eyebrow, " And who are they?"

John looked at her, the frustration still evident on his face, " Dr's Weir and Mckay. Now do you see the problem?"

This stopped Kate in her tracks.

"You're kidding right?" She said, a note of incredulity in her voice.

"No! You don't think I would be here doing this of my own free will if I was?"

Kate raised her eyebrows at this comment.

John noticed and said quickly, "It's nothing personal. It's just that I've never been happy talking about myself or my personal life. I feel that it might give out the wrong signal if I came to you an a regular basis."

Kate smiled broadly. She wasn't sure what to make of this. She had never seen John like this before. Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, Atlantis' king of cool and calm looking uncomfortable. This was a turn up for the books.

"I'm sorry John." she continued quietly and calmly, " Am I so scary that you don't want to see me?"

"No. It's just that you manage to get to our inner thoughts. Some of us don't like to share very easily."

" By that he means him. This is going to make asking the next question rather interesting." she thought.

She was about to speak when John continued, " It's so ridiculous. I'm not sure why the hell these two can't see it. I mean he's a self-confessed genius and she's not stupid. So what the hell is going on?"

Kate looked at him, studying his face. She wondered what was going on. She knew that, much to everyone's surprise, Mckay and Sheppard had become friends. But despite this, she still wasn't sure what was happening. She wanted to the to the bottom of this.

" Tell me something," she asked cautiously, " Why does this matter so much?"

John looked at her, considering his answer. He started to answer then hesitated.

" Don't worry. I promise that I won't say anything to anyone." Kate responded.

"Ok." John began, " It's like this. I know that Mckay should be a complete ass at times but he is my best friend. If he didn't stand a chance with Elizabeth, I wouldn't be getting so uptight about it. It's just that, hell, they both deserve to be happy. I can't stand it because they are so obviously in love. I want to do something. I just don't know what."

Kate smiled, " I see. You know, I think you're right. And as everyone already thinks they're in love anyway, its not going to do any harm is it?"

John looked at her and smiled. " You want to help?"

Kate smiled back and replied, " Why not? After all, what helps them helps you, and what helps you helps me right."

John gave her his best 'What do you mean?' look.

This time Kate laughed and said, " You won't be storming in to my office looking like thunder will you!"

As she said this, she raised her eyebrows. John couldn't help smirking at her.

" So what do you have in mind?" he said.

Kate looked at him and said, " I think we have to get a group of like minded people together so that we can think of something. Don't you?"

John nodded and grinned.

Later that evening…

… in a quiet corner of the mess hall, Radek, Carson, Ronon, Teyla, John and Kate sat deep in discussion. Major Lorne came over to join them.

Kate sat with her chin resting on her hands. " The problem is they seem to be in denial."

" Is a river in Egypt." Carson and John said in unison.

Radek groaned and said in response, " Yes and it's dangerous too!"

Everyone looked at him strangely.

"Well people die there and the crimes are investigated by a little French detective."

Major Lorne furrowed his brow, " I thought he was Belgian,"

Carson replied, "Aye, and there was I thinking that the most important thing to come out of Belgium was chocolate."

Ronon looked at Teyla and shrugged. Everyone else burst out laughing.

Seeing Ronon and Teyla's confusion, John said, " Sorry. It's a little bit of cultural humour. I'll explain it to you later."

Teyla raised her eyebrows. As much as she enjoyed living with these people from Earth, there were some things she felt that she would never understand. This thing called humour was one of them.

Kate let our an exasperated sigh, "Come on people. Back to the matter in hand."

Everyone settled down.

"We need a plan of attack." She continued.

"Someone needs to point out to the pair of them, the fact that they love each other" Carson said, "Though I'm completely at a loss as to why they can't see it themselves."

Teyla spoke up, " I could speak to Dr Weir. She has been wanting to speak with me for some time. I assume that I can bring the conversation round to this matter."

Everyone nodded except John.

He shifted uneasily in his seat, "Are you sure your ok with this? I don't want you to get involved in you are not happy about it."

Teyla smiled, "Elizabeth is someone I have come to respect and Rodney is an important member of our team. I have come to see him as a friend. Should they not be happy? After all, as has been clearly shown, they both have feelings for each other. It has become our job to let them know. To that end, I will do anything that I can to achieve our goal which I believe is a noble one."

" Very eloquently put lass." Carson said, giving her a very appreciative smile.

Hearing her say this, John relaxed considerably. " In that case I will talk to Rodney. It's the least I can do. He is my best friend after all."

" We also need to arrange a proper date for them, with a special meal and everything." Major Lorne chipped in.

Ronon looked at them, smiling as he did so," I'm sure we can find a reason for them both being the same place at the same time."

Radek nodded and replied, " Yes. Now would be a good time to make a discovery that would require the attention of both a talented scientist and an accomplished linguist who is able to translate Ancient texts. I can deal with that for you."

At this a smirk crossed his face and he raised his eyebrows behind his glasses.

Kate looked at him, returning the smile and said, " I didn't know you could be so devious."

Radek let a huge grin spread across his face, " I have my moments Kate. It goes to show that you should never underestimate a scientist."

This caused a ripple of giggles to go round the group.

"I think that we should put this plan in to action as soon as possible." As Kate said this she looked around the group.

There was a general nod of consensus.

Major Lorne piped up, "We need a name for this mission. How about Operation Eye Opener?"

John smiled, " So that 's settled. Operation Eye Opener is a go."

The next day…

… in Dr Weir's office. Teyla sat talking to Elizabeth. She had been giving her one of her regular reports on how the Athosian's were doing.

" … So all is well. Elizabeth, do you have time to talk?"

" Yes of course." she responded, " How can I help you?"

Elizabeth lent her head to one side and looked at Teyla.

Teyla looked at her and smiled, " It is more how I can help you."

" I'm intrigued." she said with a wry smile on her face.

" I hope I am not going to offend you, but I feel that I should say something to you!" Teyla said, smiling at her.

Elizabeth said nothing and continued to look at her.

" I have noticed the way you look at Dr Mckay. You have feelings for him?"

This startled Elizabeth. She really wasn't sure where this conversation was going. It was one that she hadn't planned on having with anyone, let alone Teyla.

" I .. I ..ok. I do have feelings for Rodney, Why do you want to know?' she asked, the concern obvious in her voice.

" I believe he has the same feelings for you. I wondered if you realised." Teyla looked her in the eye as she said this.

Elizabeth gave her an incredulous look, " I'm not so sure. I would have noticed."

'Really." Teyla continued, "It is rather strange that we have noticed and you do not seem to have done so."

Elizabeth blushed. Since her split from Simon she had felt her feelings for Rodney grow. But she was afraid to do anything about it. She wasn't sure if he was a rebound, someone to replace Simon. Also, she wasn't sure what Rodney thought of her. The last thing she wanted to do was go after Rodney to discover she'd got it wrong. Rodney had enough on his plate without her making his life any more difficult.

And yet … here was Teyla telling her she had a chance with Rodney. Did she dare to believe it was true? She had to make a choice and she had to do it soon. The trouble was, at the moment, she wasn't sure what choice she wanted to make.


… heading towards the lab. John caught up with Rodney.

" Hi there." he said, falling in to step beside him.

"Don't you have another group of new recruits to beat up?" he said tersely.

John thought for a moment, " I'm actually up to date on that and anyway, I've delegated that job to Ronon today."

"Oh. That'll be nice for them." Rodney said sarcastically.

" Yeah. Well, they need to get some backbone!" John said with a smile.

Rodney raised his eyebrows with an exasperated sigh.

"Was there something you wanted or did you just come down here to annoy me?" Rodney asked, the snark coming out in his voice.

" There was something I wanted to speak to you about." John said uneasily.

"Oh and what is so important that you need to bother me at this time?" Rodney replied, still moving towards the nearest transporter.

John decided to be blunt and straight to the point. He really didn't know how else to handle it. After all, it wasn't everyday he had to play Cupid for someone like Rodney, (i.e. too blind to see what was right in front of his nose!)

"Yeah. I want to talk to you about Dr Weir."

Rodney froze in his tracks and turned to face John, " Look, if you want to try for a relationship with Elizabeth you are welcome. It's not like we have a relationship or anything."

John looked at him, totally bewildered. As much as he liked Elizabeth, he had never looked at her that way. Apart from anything else, as she was the head of the Atlantis expedition and he was head of the military for said expedition, any relationship would be frowned upon, (even though she was technically a civilian.) It was also the fact that he had begun to see her as somewhere between a sister and a best friend. Because of this, thought of having a relationship with her was something that made him feel very uncomfortable.

" Er … no. I really am quite happy. Besides which, I think she's already found someone she quite likes." John said, trying not to sound flustered.

" Oh and who would that be?" Rodney said, trying to sound completely disinterested.

" You of course!" Before Rodney could protest, John continued, " Look. We have seen the way she looks at you during our group meetings and our mission briefings. There is something there bud. I really think you have a chance. You just have to pluck up the courage to take it."

Rodney looked at him, dumbfounded, " I …er…I think you must be mistaken, She's not interested in me."

"Hey, why not?" John said, leaving the question hanging in the air.

Rodney stood quietly for a moment. John was right. Why shouldn't she be interested? After all, he was clever. As for the looks department… Whilst he was no John Sheppard, (his hair was better organised for a start!), he had become aware of the fact that since he had begun to go off world, he had been getting fitter! So what was the problem? He just wasn't sure what Elizabeth thought of him. The last thing he wanted was to try for a relationship to discover he had got it wrong. It could make things rather awkward, especially thinking of Elizabeth's position as head of the expedition.

Mind you, he was no stranger to getting it wrong. All the relationships that he had before had all gone wrong. He'd either been rejected before the first date, discovered that the girl he'd been dating had been doing it for a bet, or out of pity. Or, (and this was the one that he hated the most!), he'd had his girlfriend stolen from him by a jock who was jealous of him. Since then, he decided that it was easier to be alone with his science. Up until now that had been the one thing he could be sure of. (Although after Doranda, he wasn't even sure of that anymore!)

Up until know he had been safe, alone in his own world, only having to make contact with people and his science on his own terms. But since he had come to Atlantis things had changed. For one, the man standing in front of him, despite his best efforts, had become his best friend. For another, this man was standing with him, telling him he had a chance of a relationship with the most amazing woman he had ever met. (In fact, there were times when she eclipsed Sam in his eyes. That was saying something!) Could he believe him? This was definitely food for thought.

The next day…

… in Dr Weir's office. The team was waiting for the mission briefing to begin. John had decided to sit on the sofa so he could look at the interactions between Rodney and Elizabeth.

As Elizabeth began to talk, Rodney stared at her intently, a look of longing in his eyes.

Elizabeth looked straight at him and smiled. At this Rodney beamed and, if John wasn't very much mistaken, a little blush of pink came across his face.

John couldn't help smiling either.

" I think they're getting the message." he thought, " Time for phase 2."


… sitting in a lab in Atlantis. Radek Zelenka smiled.

Straight after the meeting the night before, Radek had begun to scheme. He had an idea but he knew he couldn't do it on his own and he knew who he wanted to help him. Teyla.

As everyone was leaving, he got hold of Major Lorne.

"Hey Dr Zelenka. What can I do for you?" he said with his usual smile.

" You said that we should organise a meal for them." Major Lorne nodded as Radek continued, " Would you like me to organise that as well as everything else."

The Major looked at him, " We could do this together if you like. Why don't we see if there is anyone left in the kitchen?"

Radek nodded his approval, to this suggestion. " I am very appreciative of your help Major."

"Hey, that's ok. If we can get these two together, it will be worth it." he said with a huge grin on his face.

As it happens, they were in luck. The head Chef was still working on the next day's menu.

As the two men explained what they wanted and why he listened intently.

At the end he said, "Sure. I'd love to help. Let us know when and I'll get something ready for you."

As the two men walked away, he said, " And I'll make sure the dessert contains chocolate!"

Major Lorne called back, "Thanks. That would be great."

The next port of call was Teyla's quarters. On the way, he parted company with the Major.

Looking in Teyla's room, he saw her sitting on her bed, " I'm sorry to disturb you at his time of night."

Teyla looked at him and said, "That is alright. How may I help you?"

Radek stood a little nervously at the door.

" Er.. of course. I'm sorry. I am a little nervous about this. I so want to get it right. It's so hard. Everyone is counting on me to make this work."

Teyla moved towards him and placed a hand on his arm, " I'm sure that you will do well. You are a clever and resourceful man. As you said, we should not underestimate you."

Radek smiled at this. He appreciated the fact that Teyla had faith in him, because right now he wasn't sure he had faith in himself.

Swallowing hard, he said, " I have a plan. To get it to work, I need a small box and a big chest. I know that this is a long shot, but do you have a small table? If possible one that needs some construction."

Teyla thought about it for a while, "Yes. I do believe I can help with the things you are looking for."

Radek looked startled, " Even the table?"

" Yes." Teyla replied. " I brought one over from the mainland. It was easier to bring it back in pieces. I have yet to get it put together. I hope this will be suitable."

She showed it to Radek and he smiled, " That's perfect."

" What are you going to put in the box?" Teyla asked.

"Well I hope to get something in the way of a love poem for them both."

"You are going to use Elizabeth's skills as a translator?" she enquired.

"Oh yes. I have decided to add 'I love you' in Czech at the bottom of the poem. I also thought it would be fun to see if Carson knew how to say ' I love you.' in Gaelic as well"

"Gaelic?" Teyla said, looking confused.

" Yes. Carson comes from a country called Scotland. Gaelic is the native language. He might have some suggestions for the poem to." Radek said thoughtfully.

As he looked around Teyla's room, he noticed the candles that she had. Another idea came to him.

" Would it be possible to have some of your candles? A candlelit dinner would be so romantic."

Teyla looked at him, a warm smile on her face, " Yes. There is something that is rather nice about candlelight. I find it very soothing. It is far better than the lights of Atlantis. They can be so bright, especially at night when I am trying to meditate."

As she said this she walked around the room gathering some of her candles. They were of differing shapes and sizes. When she had got six of them, she brought them to Radek, along with something to light them.

He looked a little concerned.

"Do not worry. I can always get replacements from the mainland."

Radek smiled at her with a sense of relief. He was pleased at the way his plan was going.

"Now I just need to find Carson." he thought to himself.

A little later …

… in the infirmary. Radek was speaking to Dr Beckett.

"Aye lad. I can help you on both accounts. It's just so happens I have a book of poetry by Robert Burns. There's bound to be something in there"

As he reached up to one of the shelves in his office, he looked a little sheepish. " I hid it among my medical texts. A little piece of home you understand."

Radek sighed, " Yes. I know what you mean."

His mind drifted back to the chess set that lay in his room, He had very few possessions that linked him to his home country. Of the few, that was the most precious. He really knew how Carson felt and he hoped this was reflected in the look that he gave him.

Carson said, "Aye and as for the other matter. 'I love you." in Gaelic is 'Ta gra agam ort.'. Here, let me write it down for you."

As Carson handed Radek the piece of paper, he had a thought, "You'd better include a translation of this for her. I mean, I know Elizabeth's a clever lass, but I'm not sure she speaks Gaelic."

"Thank you. Now, about the poem."

Radek and Carson sat down as Carson flicked through the pages of poetry.

Carson's face lit as he stopped at one particular poem, " It has to be this one."

"Radek, Radek. Oh for crying out loud. Radek are you in the land of the living or is it just a nasty rumour?"

Radek peeled his face off his keyboard and looked up to see Rodney standing beside him.

Adjusting his glasses and making a vain attempt to rearrange his hair, he mumbled, " I didn't get much sleep last night."

Rodney looked at him. " Oh. What were you doing? You certainly weren't in here"

Radek swallowed hard, running his tongue around his teeth. As he did so he moved towards the coffee pot.

Looking at it's contents, the thought, " Thank god for that!"

Pouring himself a cup, he felt Rodney's eyes burrowing in to the back of his head. Radek took a huge mouthful of coffee, swallowed and turned round to face Rodney.

Looking at him straight in the eye he said, " I wasn't doing anything in particular. I just wasn't sleeping"

Rodney raised his eyebrows. "So you wasted a whole night not doing anything?"

" I wouldn't say that." thought Radek with a smile.

" You could have come back to the lab you know." Rodney continued.

' Yes. Well, I left the lab because I didn't want to spend the whole night in here. Unlike you I am not a slave to science." Radek replied.

" That's as maybe. And anyway, I am not a slave to science. I spend so much time in here because there is so much to be done."

"And why is that?" Radek asked. Before Rodney could reply he continued, "Because you won't delegate to the rest of us. I sometimes wonder if the only reason you keep us around is to give you someone to shout at!"

As soon as the words had left his mouth, Radek regretted it. He knew that Rodney had an ego the size of a planet, but he had long since realised that there was more to this man. He was driven to do so much because he then would know how things had been done. He had always had the feeling that up until now the only person Rodney Mckay felt he could really trust was Rodney Mckay. Yet, here he was in charge of a team of people and he was expected to be able to trust them to do work for him. For anyone this would be problematic. For Rodney, nigh on impossible.

And yet, as time went on, the armour was slowly being taken apart, piece by piece. And it all started with a certain air force pilot named john Sheppard. He was the first to put a chink in the seemingly impregnable Mckay defences. Then there had been the members of his team. Firstly Aidan and Teyla, now Ronon and Teyla. Even he had managed to get through. (Although, it was an uphill struggle and he sometimes wondered why he bothered.) Now, there was a chance for him to have a relationship with Elizabeth. Radek often wondered what Rodney made of all this. He also wondered if another reason for Rodney spending so much time in the lab was because it was somewhere safe, somewhere where he could still have some control.

"Maybe a little safer for him than out there with the people." he mused.

Radek turned round to see Rodney still standing there in silence.

" I'm sorry Rodney. It's just that sometimes I wish you would let go a little. There is a life to be had out there Rodney. There is a life beyond the lab."

Rodney shrugged his shoulders, " That's easy for you to say. People like you."

He sounded sad and defeated.

Radek walked towards him and placed his hand on his arm, " If you could only accept it there are people here who like you too. And there is someone out there who likes you very much."

Rodney sat down as Radek went and fetched him a coffee.

He began to think about what had happened, about the conversations that he'd had with John and now with Radek. They were both telling him he had a chance with Elizabeth. Then, his mind went back to what had happened in her office this morning, the way she looked at him and smiled. He remembered the way that he felt. It was a wonderful, warm feeling that enveloped him. He even remembered blushing a little and he smiled to himself.

As he sat there he whispered to himself quietly, " Elizabeth."

Meanwhile …

… back in Dr Weir's office. She sat alone in front of her computer.

Her mind drifted back to the conversation she had had with Teyla. She has always had feelings for Rodney, from the first time she met him. Despite the fact that he had an undeniably large ego, there was something about him. He had the most amazing pair of blue eyes. They had captured her attention immediately. But she couldn't do anything. For one, she was still attached to Simon at the time. For another, she felt that she had to prove herself as the leader of the expedition so it would have been inappropriate to pursue the relationship. Now she and Simon were no longer an item. Also, they were in another galaxy. She had noticed that close friendships were beginning to form and in some cases these were developing in to relationships. She knew that she was the expedition leader and she had to set the standard and be able to maintain discipline. But did this mean she should deny herself the happiness and comfort that a relationship should bring. Especially when the person she wanted was waiting for her if she was willing to take the chance.

Also, she thought back to this mornings mission briefing. She remembered the way that Rodney had looked at her. She remembered the intensity of the look and how blue his eyes seemed. She also remembered the way he blushed. She thought that it was really sweet. She found herself wanting to see that again, wanting to know whether she could be part of Rodney's life.

Breathing a heavy sigh she spoke his name, " Rodney."