Disclaimer: I acknowledge the original creators (Togashi, Peirrot, etc.), I do
not own these characters and I make no profit from this whatsoever.
Rating: R - NC17
Warnings: Sexual situations between two men. Implied rape. Lime.
A/N: One-shot. Unedited version posted at adultfanfictionDOTnet. Footnotes at the bottom. Line breaks indicate fade outs and scene changes.
Copyright dated July though October 2, 2006
- - - - - - - -
Late autumn erupted with a chill in the air and Kurama found that it was time to cover the bed with more blankets for comfort and warmth. The muted earth tones of the bedspread matched the scheme of the rest of his room, calm and relaxing with browns and greens. The sliding balcony window was covered with a sheer dark green curtain that hung to the floor. When the sun was at just the right point in the sky to make pink and gold shades of the ending summer day warmth, sunlight would leak in through the curtain and flood his room with a passionate glow. He rarely turned on the lamps in his bedroom because he enjoyed the sunlight so much.
Kurama lived in a medium sized apartment downtown, not too far away from his office. The building was large, but the apartment was nice and cozy. It was easy for him to furnish.
Hiei had no qualms with how Kurama set up his human home. He trusted the fox enough to furnish the apartment with simple settings and no stupid human nick-nacks that he really had no use for. Only the necessities. Hiei would probably make a few exceptions for whatever Kurama's mother would bring them as a housewarming present.
For the five years past the last Makai Tournament, Kurama has settled in his own apartment after saving enough from working for his step-father's company. He lives close enough to Yuusuke and Keiko to say hello whenever he possibly can, and takes the train to visit his mother every weekend.
Whenever Hiei returns from Makai – from Mukuro – he would immediately check up on the temple where his little sister stays with Genkai before flying to his home within the human realm. Kurama would greet him with open arms or he would sleep until Kurama came home from work. Hiei would make time to be able to stay with his lover without much consequence from Mukuro, who easily allows it whenever Hiei asked. Hiei doesn't ask for much, but when he does, Mukuro makes sure he gets it.
Kurama and Hiei became the couple prone to separation anxiety. Kurama perpetually missed his lover when he was away. Hiei spent as much time with Kurama as he could when he was around. They ate together, sometimes had visits from Kurama's mother during the week, and they made love all the time.
Life was good.
- - - - -
At ten o' clock on a cool thursday evening, Hiei immediately awoke when he felt a dismal energy from his partner entering through the front door. He kept his eyes open but stayed prone on top of the covers of their bed.
Kurama didn't bother to click on any of the lights in the apartment save for the dim fluorescent light under the air vent of the stove in the pantry. Leaving his briefcase on the tabletop, he slowly padded down the hallway towards the washroom. He didn't bother to click on the light in there.
Hiei heard the rinsing of rushing water and slight coughing. The coughing didn't cease, and seemed to become louder, since he thought that the door was not closed. Blinking his eyes shut, he let out his ki just so slightly so that Kurama would acknowledge that he was there.
Kurama was still in his button down shirt and had his belt on when he gently placed himself on his bed, tossing his neck tie somewhere in the room. He let out a deep sigh when he felt his lover's body and curled up behind him. Neither of them spoke. Kurama exhaled heavily on Hiei's neck, nosing the tiny hairs that stood promptly at attention and he gently mouthed the protruding bone at the top of the fire demon's spine. Hiei sent out more of his youki to feel for Kurama's, but the fox had masked it.
…He masked it?
"Kurama," he called quietly.
"Hmm?" Kurama didn't seem to want to form words. He folded an arm to lay over Hiei's little waist and he adjusted their positions so that his other arm was under Hiei's head, cradling him. Hiei turned around in the embrace.
The fire demon leaned his chin up to plant a soft kiss on Kurama's lips, but the fox only flexed his jaw muscles in reflex.
In the darkness, Hiei found that Kurama had already fallen asleep.
- - - - -
The fox demon woke up a little groggily, his eyes refusing to open with sleep crusted to the corners of his sockets. He found himself extremely uncomfortable. Kurama had fallen asleep without first taking off his work clothes. They were matted to his skin with a silvery sheen of sweat overlaying his body. He needed a shower, but he just didn't have the energy.
He moved his head down just an inch and found a sleeping fire demon bundled in his arms. He let his eyes droop only for a moment and widened when he felt a shift of the beds weight and found bright and wide red eyes staring down at him.
"Hmff! Ah, Hiei…" Kurama cried out gently and then sighed, jumping at the sudden movement his lover made and swatted a hand to his sweat slicked forehead. He rubbed his eyes. "Don't scare me like that,"
"Sorry," Hiei whispered. "You're covered in sweat. You should get out of those clothes."
Kurama hummed in agreement but didn't move. He only let his hand droop onto the pillows and let his eyelids slide shut.
Hiei gave his lover an annoyed look, even though Kurama probably couldn't even sense it. He gently pushed the fox to lie on his back so he could do away with his belt and undo the buttons of his shirt.
When Kurama didn't move to help him take off his shirt and pants, Hiei bent down and planted a long, suffocating kiss on his lips. After a few long seconds, Kurama started to feel as though he would start choking, and Hiei pulled back with a blank look on his face.
"Kurama. Why is your youki masked?" He asked gently.
The fox cleared his throat and blinked the sleep out of his eyes so that he could make out the numbers on the clock on his night stand. It was twelve thirty in the morning. He sat up straight with much effort and pulled off his sticky dress shirt and undershirt before pulling his pants off and tossing them towards his laundry hamper.
"I don't feel too well, baby," he had a slight rasp in his voice, probably from dehydration and sleeping with his mouth open. Kurama ran his hands over his hair to get them away from being matted to his face.
"You're well enough to be able to mask it," Hiei was sitting on his ankles and had his hands placed in between his knees.
Kurama's eyes glinted with wetness and the soft light emitting from the moon. He blinked quite rapidly, in order to keep his eyes from drying up. He leaned up to Hiei's face and kissed him sweetly. "I'm fine. I'm just being cautious," Hiei didn't move his position as his lover lavished his face and lips with kisses. "I missed you, Hiei," Kurama breathed out.
The fire demon twisted his head to the side to make it easier for Kurama to find the parting between his lips and brush his tongue over his teeth. Hiei unclenched his jaw and let the fox make pathways around the sweetness of his mouth. Hiei flattened his tongue and rubbed it a long Kurama's gently, following his lovers lead.
Kurama's kisses never failed to make his knees weak (right now he was thankful that they were sitting down) and always made his neck and shoulders ache in a rush of emotion. Kurama knew just the right spots to rub over and just the right spots to graze over, toying with the fire demons sensitive skin. The sensations fuddled his brain.
The fox's soft lips traveled to rest at the spot just below Hiei's ear and poked out his tongue before mouthing the skin and suckling on it, nearly biting it. His lover adjusted his head for leeway and Kurama ravenously feasted upon his neck.
Hiei pressed his fingers to Kurama's skin, leaving tiny red marks, gripping his shoulders as he moved over to straddle the fox's thighs. He let out a shuttering sigh when Kurama's lips traveled over his collar bone and rested at the hollow of his throat, licking him. The fire demon's blood ran hot.
"I really missed you," Kurama huffed.
Hiei's hands messaged the fox's skin, palms rubbing over his chest and fingertips flicking at soft nipples. Kurama pushed himself towards Hiei to hold his arms closely around his lithe waist, his chest pressing close to Hiei's stomach, continuing his tender kisses down and down the fire demons body. Tiny shockwaves of pleasure shot through the little demons spine when his lover's hands traced the muscular contours of his buttocks and upper thighs. Gripping fingers found their way down Kurama's trunk as Hiei nuzzled his cheek on soft, red hair, his hands grazing the lining of his thin boxer shorts.
As Kurama occupied himself with kneading his lover's ass and feeding at his breast, Hiei's hands worked their way in through the clothed barrier and was about to caress the fox's strong erection when Kurama suddenly jumped back and pulled Hiei's hands away from him.
Hiei was confused, his mind a little fuzzy from the attention lavished from his lover's lips and hands, when he briefly discovered that Kurama had no erection protruding from underneath his boxer shorts.
Kurama didn't let him finish his inquiry when he abruptly kissed him fully on the mouth and worked fast on stripping him of his belts and pants. In a sudden burst of adrenaline, Kurama flipped the shuttering fire demon to lie on his back on the plush bed, hiking his pants down away from his pelvis and off of his thin legs. His lips journeyed on unmarked trails down the hypersensitive areas on Hiei's cut abdomen.
Hiei was shuddering and huffing big puffs of air through his mouth. He lay with his arms spread out over the pillows and let his fox take control of this midnight session.
Silence followed with the undertone of soft panting and the shifting of bed sheets. Kurama rearranged himself and Hiei to lie underneath the covers and turned them so that they were facing each other.
Hiei was placed by Kurama's hands too far away from his soft body. His arms reached out in the darkness and talented little fingers found their way to the fox's chest and lower abdomen. Discreetly, Kurama grabbed the demon's hands and placed kisses on the both of them, keeping them against his chest. He sighed and closed his eyes.
Hiei's eyes drooped slightly. He wanted Kurama. He flexed his fingers and shifted closer to make complete contact with his lover's body and kissed him. He wanted to reciprocate the same pleasure he had been given.
However, when Hiei pressed his body to his lover's, Kurama quickly moved away. When Hiei pressed his body against his lover's, Kurama wasn't aroused.
"What's wrong?" he blurted out in a whisper. Kurama could feel the fingers in his grasp tremble slightly. "What am I doing wrong?"
"No!" Kurama's eyes shot open and he gripped Hiei's hands tightly, reassuringly. "You did nothing wrong, Hiei,"
The fire demon looked back at him with his face half buried in his pillow, his eyes glowing in the moonlight. "Then what's going on?" he asked, evenly.
Kurama sighed, tired and at a loss. "I'm just not feeling well,"
"Let me help make you feel better," Hiei gently urged.
"I…" Kurama hesitated. "I just… I'm not up for it tonight, baby,"
Hiei held a mellow and even gaze, trying to decipher what his lover was saying. In the darkness of their room, Hiei knew that Kurama had his eyes shut tightly, and he gently lifted a hand to brush away the hairs that were still glued to his sweat slicked forehead, noting the creasing of Kurama's brows. When he felt the fox lessen his facial muscles, he pulled away and kept his hand in between them.
Kurama held his lover's hands again, his eyes opening to reveal sad emerald eyes that glistened in the moonlight.
Kurama took a deep breath, and kept his voice even and calm to let his little lover know that there should be no distress or frustration between them. "Father is keeping me very busy at the office, and with the end of the year fast approaching, clients are getting agitated. That's why I've been getting home so late," he began, knowing his point. "Mother is also very persistent on visiting us more often with Father and little Shuichi."
"Are you stressed?" Hiei asked with the same tone in his deep voice. The fire demon's soft yet powerful baritone vibrated gently in his ears.
"Yes, I guess that's what it is," Kurama sighed. "Minamino Shuuichi is soon turning twenty-four years old. I guess it's just stress from getting older and being overworked."
"…I don't think that you're taking care of yourself when I'm not around."
"I wouldn't say that," Kurama smirked. "You know me, I get a long fine."
"Stupid Fox. Not when you're masking your youki when you get home to me and you don't undress for bed."
Hiei definitely knew that Kurama had a bad habit of putting the ones most dear to him before his own needs. Kurama hated people worrying about him. Worrying wasn't really in Hiei's nature, but he held reservations when it came to those closer to him. Kurama, his lover of nearly five years, was no exception.
The fact that Hiei had noticed a lapse in Kurama's hygiene was a sign that he was not able to find normality like he had for the longest time during their relationship.
When the fire demon came into the apartment that afternoon, he found most of the cupboards very empty with only the few packages of instant soups, pasta, salt, sugar; the refrigerator bare with only a half gallon of milk, butter, bottled mineral water and perhaps a wrapped up sandwich from the other day. He must have gotten that from his mother (Shiori always made Kurama chicken sandwiches). The laundry had not been taken care of – because Kurama never leaves his closet doors open and never lets his hamper overflow – and he also found too many piles of unopened mail and magazines in the living area. Judging from the lack of normality in their apartment, Kurama must have been like this for quite sometime. It also meant that he must have been spending most of his time either at his mother's or at the office, only coming home to sleep, wash, and change clothes.
"You haven't been taking care of yourself…" Hiei whispered almost inaudibly.
"I'm sorry I couldn't prepare a better 'welcome home' for you, love."
"No," Hiei said gently, but with just the right amount of edge to make his point. "It might be any of my business. Kurama, tell me what's wrong."
"I don't know," Kurama started. "My energy… There are times where I don't think I can control its force. The balancing between my youki for my demon body and Shuuichi is very delicate. I've been masking it more often to lessen the strain." He sighed. "It must be the stress. Humans can get a significant decrease in energy if they're stressed. If you don't release it properly, you can acquire little aches: phantom pains, I believe is what they're called."
"Do you hurt anywhere?"
"No," Kurama smiled and wrapped an arm around Hiei's waist. "Not anymore."
Hiei was about to start, but paused for a moment, trying to get the right words to come out. "…If you're stressed… does it affect you when you're with me?"
Kurama rubbed his hand on Hiei's back. He stared very gently, and then whispered into the pillow: "I've been thinking about you all week. All month. But I just…" he sighed again. "It's not because of you, Hiei."
Hiei nodded into the pillow and sighed with his lover.
"I just feel tired all the time. It's so unlike me…"
Kurama's hands stayed still on Hiei's small frame, with the fire demon's hands pressed near the fox's chest. They stayed like that for a long time, until Hiei sensed Kurama's breathing become shallow and even. Hiei scooted himself closer to his lover so that his forehead rested on Kurama's chest.
In his sleep, Kurama enveloped the fire demon in his arms.
- - - - -
"Did you shut my alarm off, Hiei?"
At eight thirty the next morning, Hiei looked up from his prone position on his pillow and shook his head, groggily. Kurama was in the threshold of their bedroom, standing straight and fiddling with his tie, his long hair slightly fluffed upwards from the very recent blow drying job. He had a slightly worried expression on his face, but his tiredness made up for him looking somewhat annoyed.
"Did you let me sleep in?" He asked with a slight edge to his voice, the corners of his lips turned upwards.
"You let yourself sleep in, Kurama." Hiei replied, before propping back down onto his side to face his partner.
The fox gave himself the once over in the mirror before turning directly towards his lover on the bed. Crawling towards him, Hiei leaned over and allowed kisses to be littered on his lips.
"When I get home from work," Kurama began. "We'll do something nice together."
"Will you be here early enough to be up for it?"
The fox's eyes were solid and nearly expressionless. He kissed Hiei again. "I'll definitely try."
They smiled at each other.
Hiei ended up sleeping most of the day. A well deserved rest for the hard working. Minamino Shiori appeared for a moment, jumping in through the hallway and giving her son's boyfriend a gentle hug that Hiei would only allow from her. They talked for a short time in the entrance way. When Hiei offered her a seat and a drink she kindly refused, saying she stopped by on her way to work.
They bid their farewells and Shiori hugged Hiei again with a little kiss on the cheek, but when Hiei expected her to let go, she held her hands to Hiei's shoulders with a tighter grip. For a small woman, she had exceptionally strong hands, Hiei noted, and he always appreciated that about her.
She looked at him with slight suspicion, an air of concern, and to the demon's surprise, she asked: "Is my son sleeping well?"
Hiei was taken aback with the implication, but tried to not let it show on his face. There were very few times that Shiori would joke about her son's sex life, and they both let it go in stride. However, the serious tone in her voice made him rethink about that particular notion; she must have been aware of Kurama's sudden change in demeanor, cleanliness, and tiredness.
"He is sleeping well, Shiori-san." He nodded his head once.
She smiled so sweetly, it made Hiei smile too.
"I know. You'll take good care of him when I cannot, Hiei-kun."
She patted his cheek and bid him farewell, saying they'd all have dinner together soon, before he left for his long commute to work again.
- - - - -
Too soon did it become evening, the soft colours that painted the sky horizon over the city marked the six o' clock sunset.
Hiei was standing in front of the open balcony window, feeling the soft gushes of wind against his face and making his loose clothes rustle against his skin. He stood in the middle of the twilight of the evening, finding it within himself to appreciate the multicoloured sunset over the cityscape in the Human Realm. If it wasn't for the shape of the trees in the distance and the hustle and bustle of the city commute, he would have thought it was much like the Demon Realm, perhaps Gandara.
This place – Kurama's little human apartment – it was his home away from home. Kurama was his piece of the demon world when he was stranded in this horrible, terrible, stupid, world.
The outside world was the least of his worries at the moment.
Inside his mind, Hiei was running scenarios and nearly well-formulated strategic operations of how he could approach his depressed lover with the end result of having a good and stress-free night.
But how could he help Kurama without improving upon his privacy? Kurama had told him numerous times that his problems were their problems; whatever kind of drawbacks in either of their lives kept them from enjoying each other, they would work through it together. Kurama had helped him plenty of times with troubles concerning his haunted past and present employment, but Hiei couldn't recall ever helping his lover with his problems.
Perhaps, as Hiei drew his own conclusions inside his head, Kurama was still reminded that Hiei was a demon and did not (or could not) understand certain human inconsistencies. Perhaps Kurama thought that whatever human frailties concerned him, it would only prompt Hiei to continue asking him to quit living as Minamino Shuuichi and go back to the Makai. To live as Youko Kurama again.
No. Kurama understood Hiei better than that. Kurama had said once and only once when Hiei asked him: Kurama would live out Minamino Shuuichi's life until the very end. It was clear, concise and not up for discussion. Hiei could only agree, and since then he grew to respect Kurama's human lifestyle.
Hiei realized that he didn't have much time to keep in the Human Realm, and Mukuro would summon him soon. He had to do something in the next few days to help Kurama relax for when he was unable to be there for him.
Hiei suddenly felt a rush of calm energy emitting from outside of the door. Perking up his ears and widening his eyes, he felt every movement of his lover's good karma; Kurama made no move to hide his ki. The fire demon's muscles jerked in reflex when he turned around at the sound of keys jingling in the doorknob. Focusing his attention on the entrance way, Hiei made a rush for the door, his arms opening and enveloping a surprised and befuddled Kurama as soon as the entered the apartment.
It was almost like a film in slow motion when Kurama finally registered that Hiei rushed into his arms and he accidentally let the door slam shut behind him.
"Am I early, Hiei?" Kurama asked with a smile hidden in Hiei's hair.
"No," Hiei replied, his face buried in Kurama's jacket. "You're on time,"
The fox ruffled Hiei's hair, chuckling as they held each other for a long time. Kurama lifted his arms out to stretch, but Hiei had latched on tight to his lover's torso. Kurama huffed, mock pouting.
"I'm gonna need the rest of me, baby,"
"Well," Kurama mused, smirking in that evil smirk that he always smirked. "How difficult do you want it to be when I make us dinner?"
"You're hanging off of me, Hiei," Kurama chided.
Hiei's nose and mouth nuzzled up his lover's throat as his response, making Kurama shudder at the touch and bending his head to gaze Hiei's lips. If it was possible, their arms wrapped around each other so tightly that it couldn't be determined where one began and the other ended.
Kurama was the first to relieve them of their tiring kiss, and thoughtfully stroked a palm down the side of Hiei's little face.
Hiei was then able to see how exhausted Kurama actually was.
- - - -
Dinner consisted of white rice, fried gyuzo dumplings, and seasoned fish with mushrooms, which was eaten at the low table in the living room with the evening star light and city lights pouring through the balcony windows. Kurama's eyes kept watering from the intense flavour of the fish and the seasoning, and much to his and Hiei's dismay, couldn't stomach the strong tea that was also brewed that evening. The fox was not able to finish his entire meal, and had to excuse himself to wash up and prepare for bed a little too early.
Hiei sighed through his nose as he looked down at the plate half filled with food as he spooned it into the disposal bin. With the stress his lover had been boiling within his body, it also affected his appetite, leaving him with either an upset tummy or no apatite at all. Kurama had just gone grocery shopping that afternoon and brought back only the food for tonight's meal.
What a waste… Hiei thought.
Arms wrapped around his midsection and squeezed him gently as his lover's voice ghosted over his senses.
"I'm sorry, Hiei,"
"You don't have to apologize, Kurama," Hiei placed the plate next to the sink and turned in the fox's embrace. "You're not feeling well,"
"It's not just that, baby," Kurama said, trying to keep his voice even and fair. He spoke in low, husky tones. "I don't have the energy I thought I did. I can't make any excuses…"
"For what?" Hiei interrupted. Kurama looked down at the fire demon, his fingers rustling through Hiei's black hair, trying to find the frame of mind to respond to the question.
"You're tired and stressed out. You have nothing to apologize for. Worrying about me is just adding on to your stress," Hiei's hands rubbed over Kurama's clothed clad chest, fingering the buttons.
Kurama's hands cupped Hiei's little face and smiled at him before leaning down and kissing him sweetly. It took only a moment before Hiei became aware and amazed that the fox wanted to deepen that kiss.
Hiei found himself dragged by the wrist back to the bedroom, while Kurama took a moment to switch off all the lights in the apartment. The fire demon suddenly felt Kurama's youki flare up. It was not an intense power up, not an angry or threatening force, but a plain test of power. Hiei felt a quiver in his heart when he also felt an undertone of… desire. Arousal.
Was Kurama's power fluctuating that much from the stress, or was he genuinely trying to overcome it, just for the sake of pleasing Hiei? Could that be the only thing that Kurama was worrying about him for?
That couldn't be… Hiei thought it was ridiculous.
The thought was quenched when Kurama abruptly turned around and kissed him hard again.
Hiei muffled with sore lips when the kiss was broken: "Kurama…?"
Slowly, Kurama turned, shedding himself of his shirt and tilted Hiei's head upwards for another kiss. Hiei accepted, but kept his youki down and even, with no sensual undertone. Kurama ceased his heated kisses and gazed into glistening red eyes in the moonlight of their bedroom.
"What's wrong?" Both of their voices echoed in the room.
Silence ensued. The room had suddenly become stuffy and humid, even in the cool air of the autumn night. The sickening silence made Kurama's skin flushed and he trembled in muted frustration as he stared into his lover's bright red eyes.
His well being was second only to Hiei's. It took a while for Kurama to understand that he was slowly being drained of all physical contact. His normally level head was clouded and heavy, as if it was overflowing with dirty water.
"Kurama," Hiei called to him as he clutched his hands within his own. Kurama sighed and slowly slid down to sit on their bed, dark red hair folding over his downcast eyes.
"Kurama…" the fire demon called to him again, softer this time. "You don't have to do anything for me."
"Hiei," the fox interrupted.
"It's not about me, Kurama," Hiei shook his head as he sat down beside his lover. "It's not. I want you to get better, Kurama."
"I know it, Hiei…"
The fox wriggled one of his hands free and stroked Hiei's face once more, finding no other words to tend to the situation and settled for soft touches and gentle kisses.
"I know it…"
And even after a while, settled and snuggled into the mattress, intertwined and melding and twisting the bed spread, Kurama did not fall asleep. He stayed awake with Hiei lying across his chest, the little demons face buried in the crook of his neck, arms splayed about the tangled sheets and around his broad chest.
Every other second, Kurama could feel the little demon's eyelashes flutter over his sensitive skin. Hiei hadn't fallen asleep either.
It felt like the entire night had gone by. They must have stayed like that for a long time, Kurama thought. When he tried to move, his arms had become stiff and sore from being in the same position for more than a few hours. Only when Kurama readjusted himself and Hiei on the bed did his lover move so that they could both be facing each other. Both wide awake and both were exuding the same colourless and emotionless expression; Hiei's eyes were stern and humorless with tiny undertones of longing and sadness. Kurama stared back at him with mirth and age. If anything, they did indeed, look exhausted.
"I want you to know," Hiei stared softly. His voice broke the stuffy air in the room. "that I don't care if you aren't able to have sex with me."
It was out in the open now. Kurama's eyes widened but his facial expression remained unmoved, moving his body instinctively closer to Hiei's.
"I do want to, Hiei," Kurama, shocked and sad, responded just as gently. "I want to so much." He pressed their foreheads together.
"But you're not well, Fox,"
"I still want to. That will never change,"
"You don't have the energy, nor the stamina…" Hiei affirmed.
"That's my only excuse. What do you want me to do?"
"If you'd take better care of your human body, it wouldn't have such a hard affect on you."
Kurama readjusted himself, but kept his tone of voice the same. "Do you blame me for that? For having a weaker system? For living as a human?"
"No, Kurama," Hiei quickly restated. "You know me better than that now. I want you to get better. I don't care if you aren't able to make love to me."
Kurama felt a tug at his heartstrings. "Hiei…"
"Fox. Don't misunderstand me," Hiei scooted closer to keep his head sheltered beneath Kurama's chin. He spoke with such a low calm in his voice it was almost too eerie for Kurama to hear him with what he said next: "I love it when you make love to me. Every time with you makes it feel like new. When you're that close to me, with you on top of me, inside me, every thing within me seems to explode. I've never experienced anything like that. And at those moments, I don't know if I could be any happier… It's you, Kurama. No one has treated me with such niceties when they had me in their bed. That is what I cherish most.
"When I was younger, I would be taken many times in a night, for many nights. Too many for me to remember. My youki was too weak for me to able to realize that some would do it while I was sleeping, and I woke up confused… I was very sore and broken.
"You know the misfortunes and cruelty children in Makai face in their youth, Kurama. You know it too well, yourself."
Kurama sniffed heartily and buried his mouth and nose on the top of Hiei's head, his eyes tightly closed shut.
"…I hated it. I hated them all when they would take me. They would hold me to ground and tare my clothes apart, shoving themselves so forcefully into me that at those moments… I don't know myself… I didn't know who I was. Not even my own body was mine."
Hiei's voice drifted as he mumbled into Kurama's chest.
"You mustn't be sad, Kurama," Hiei said quietly into his lover's chest. "you mustn't be sad. I don't mind it. Kurama—"
"—Hiei," the fox choked into Hiei's hair. Kurama squeezed Hiei with all his might. "I'm sorry,"
"I am. I'm so sorry, Hiei."
"Stop apologizing, Kurama."
"Hiei…!" The fox did his best to stop his shuddering against Hiei's form. They pressed close to each other, one trying to stop the other from shaking so fiercely. Kurama's face was hidden deep into Hiei's hair.
"…I'm happy to know that you choose to be here with me. I've never been able to comprehend that genuine feeling of happiness in the past. And I love being near you. I love having you come to me, whether in spirit or in my arms... I couldn't ask for anything else except for your own happiness. I only wish I could have done more for you in recent nights. That's all…" Kurama panted, running out of breath to match Hiei's emotional outburst of explanations and storytelling. "If your being here with me is enough to keep you happy, then… then the only thing I can do for you is be here."
Hiei felt Kurama's hands grip around his sides tightly. The fox's mouth went dry and died out when he finished speaking and Hiei interrupted him. "You mustn't be sad, Kurama…" He muttered, finally looking up to Kurama's flushed face. "I'm happy and fine just being here with you, I don't need anything else—!"
Kurama felt like his chest was constricting too painfully for him to keep still. One of his free hands made a frantic escape from around Hiei's body to cup his face and tilt his head up to crush their lips together. Hiei shifted to crane his neck far to reach the fox's mouth. Kurama's hands clung to Hiei's hair and skin, eagerly accepting Hiei's tongue in response.
Hiei melded into his lover's body, purposely crushing their chests together so they both burst for air after being stuck to each other.
"I don't—" was the muffled speech that erupted from Hiei's mouth before it was plundered with the fox's tongue. He said it every time they came they came up for air, and Kurama never let him finish, knowing very well what he was trying to say. Kurama kissed him too enthusiastically for either of them to sleep, and Kurama, although exhausted, needed to intimacy and contact with his lonely, little lover.
They seemed to collide, they were so close together. They pushed and pulled into each other, trying to join together as one being. But they could still never get that close, no matter how hard they tried.
Something jerked inside Kurama and he rolled over to lye atop of Hiei. The entire length of their bodies were pressed against each other, and both of them relished the feel of their skin over skin.
Kurama's breath coated Hiei's flushed face as they both panted heavily.
"No matter how tired I may be, I could never have enough of the feel of you," Kurama panted gently. "I can never stop kissing you, and I never want to stop."
Hiei shook his head on the pillow. "I don't want you to stop."
"Then please believe me, Hiei," Kurama said, tears again welling in his eyes, making them glisten and gleam in the moon illuminated room. "Believe me when I say that I always want you to be happy. And if you are happy enough just being with me then that is enough for me as well."
Hiei leaned up to kiss him, and their lips stayed together for a long time.
"That's all, Hiei…!"
- - - - - - - - -
It was one of those mornings that Kurama was able to gain consciousness, but was unable to open his eyes. He had had a dreamless sleep, and from the soreness of his muscles and joints, he must not have moved at all over the night. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, unable – unwilling – to move too quickly from his spot on the bed.
Actually, he must have fallen asleep on top of Hiei, because Kurama felt a pair of strong and limber arms wrap around his neck and head.
Hiei had been awake for sometime, but he felt a little uneasy with a swelling in his midsection and having his lover's heavier form draped over him.
Kurama inhaled deeply again, and moved himself to shift them onto their sides to face each other. The fox still didn't open his eyes. Hiei moved closer to Kurama's chest and he made his lips make a wet trail from the bottom of his lover's chin to the divot of his collar bone.
Kurama's eyes opened slightly (a little painfully, as they were heavily coated and sealed tight with sleep) at the touch and the closeness of their bodies caused him to shiver. The feeling of Hiei's lithe and smooth body was something he had memorized long ago, but his memory was never as comforting as having Hiei alive and nude within his arms. His hands ventured all over Hiei's back and rump, innocent and wandering.
A good nights sleep was quite possibly all Kurama needed. Already, the time spent with his lover gave him enough strength and comfort over the two days that he was here and back home. Kurama never felt so calm and fresh. He rubbed at his eyes in order to get the goop out so he could see.
They didn't need words to confirm what they carnally desired. Their hands searched for each other, lips and fingers touching every bit of bare skin to be marked and memorized. They kissed just as gently and passionately as they had before, and their hips and hands stroked and rubbed together to relieve all the tension and stress and reassured their love and longing. They breathed and panted nonsense into each other's ears, because everything that they had possibly needed to say had been said and accomplished the night before.
Kurama's breath hitched and increased against the fire demon's face. They breathed each other's breath, Kurama's body moving frantically and enthusiastically, his release fast approaching. Hiei's hands pinched and clung to the fox's skin, also feeling a tightening sensation and paced his pelvis at the same time as his lover's, finally welcoming Kurama's overbearing orgasm.
The lovers lay in their hazy afterglow for some time. The sun had risen farther into the sky and dripped in through the sheer, green curtains, casting highlights on Kurama's hair and a soft glow on Hiei's skin. They fit together like envelopes between the tossed up and rustled bed covers, Kurama's arms covering and circling around Hiei's head while Hiei's were wrapped up and gripped onto the fox's smooth chest.
"It's going to be such a good day…" Kurama mused softly into the fire demon's hair. Hiei smiled and pressed his lips to Kurama's throat.
"It's nearly 11 o clock. How can you tell?"
"It's Saturday," Kurama said and Hiei could detect the grin his lover was wearing on his face. "I'm not working today."
Hiei started moving and rubbing against Kurama's embrace trying to bring themselves close as they had just minutes earlier. Kurama nuzzled the top of the demon's head as the other kissed every bit of the fox's skin as far as he could reach.
"How are you feeling now?" He asked before trapping a bit of skin in between his teeth and sucking hardily on it.
Kurama smiled again and rearranged himself to lie with Hiei atop of him. "Much better."
Hiei continued his ministration on Kurama's sensitive neck until he left a reddened mark with the tiniest teeth indents and then kissed a trail up around the creases of his ear before resting his head on the fox's shoulder.
"I feel like just spending the whole day in bed with you." Kurama sighed.
"I wouldn't mind that at all…" Hiei mumbled contently. "Although we'd be awfully sore when we decide to get up."
"Well," Kurama grunted a little when he abruptly turned himself over with Hiei along with him, tossing him to lie beneath him. Hiei flowed with Kurama to land with a bounce on the mattress. His arms instantly went to circle Kurama's neck and play with his long, red hair. "I didn't mean that we would stay in the same spot…" a kiss on the neck.
The fire demon smiled mischievously, but was still wary over Kurama's physical shortcoming. "Are sure you're feeling better, Kurama?"
"Well, I'm a little sore, but I'm sure that will ware off over the next few days…" The fox chuckled as kissed Hiei on the mouth with as much passion and gentleness as they just had between them just moments before. "Yes, baby, I'm sure I'm fine."
Hiei's arms entangled themselves around his lover's body, drawing Kurama to lay completely over him.
"There's nothing else I want to do today than just be here with you."
- - - - - - - - -
--- Kurama's human body's name is "Shuuichi", while his little step-brother's name is "Shuichi". I believe there is a pronunciation difference.
--- Both Hiei and Kurama seem rather OOC. I've tried really hard in the past to make Hiei more masculine, and it almost never works out. I've tried really hard in the past to make Kurama mellow without making him mean or too emotionless, and it almost never works out.
--- I wanted to write a fic with a little twist on the perfect kurahiei relationship. The one where Hiei jumps through portals between his job and the human world and Kurama and Hiei have mind blowing sex all the time. I thought it was boring. This fic addresses the cons about making them have a perfect sex life.
--- As for the assumption that Hiei was abused as a child, I find it more realistic to certain areas and monsters of Makai that abuse and rape obviously does happen. Officially? Hell, no. I certainly do not condone rape and child abuse. In Hiei's case, it only seemed appropriate.
--- I realize that putting in a full on m/m intercourse in a fic that concerns problems with sexual habits is kind of… uh… predictable? That's why I didn't put in a full m/m lemon scene. Actually, once I was done with the initial outline, I was left unsatisfied, so there are two lemon scenes, just no full on intercourse.
Please please review!